I'm a weary of how I am these days
I am.so bitter and cynical, I think I am alienating myself because of it.
so I ask, how do I change and become optimistic and full of love? it's not so much that i am depressed but more that I am always just so damn angry
idk I guess I just wanna stop being such a toxic cunt
>>17270503
the problem is that you are asking how to change soemthingi n your head. and while its possible, its not really something we do easily. you are asking to change something that is possibly inherent to your personality. and personality is hard to change. otherwise we'd all have the same one.
people say im pessimistic, except on /adv/ they say im optimistic. really i just love life and whats happening around me but dont ignore the problems. i think most people think you can only be optimistic, or pessimistic, but never realistic.
if i think something bad is going to happen i address it, but i maintain my happiness cuz i built my life in a way that doesnt make me deal with those problems very much, especially since i address them.
that being siad, i used to feel a bit like you and what changed me was purposely taking the time to enjoy the little things.
take out yuor phone and open the calendar and set two random alerts a day. set them to vibrate. no matter where you are or what you are doing when you feel the vibrate, take a moment to acknowledge how nice something is. is your seat comfy? food tasty? the sky look nice? and if ur a total edge lord who cant enjoy anything, enjoy the fact taht you can take three deep breaths, cuz its better than having a cold.
over time this condition syour brain to take these regular moments and think of them as positive things.
now im the kind of guy who cant stop thinking about how great the day is, even if its just a normal day at the office.
the downside is, if you can call it that, is you tend to examine whats going on a LOT instead of simply living in that moment. when i was on vacation (my first ever) i was sitting on the beach, and i wasnt even doing anything but i was sitting there giddy and thinking how exciting and amazing it was that im on the beach and i found an old sandcastle. it just felt amazing to do something that is so 'human'.
thanks anon, that actually sounds like a pretty neat idea,
>>17270658
worked for me. one size doesnt fit all, but sitting there and enjoying th ethings you like cant hurt right?
in my defense though that was an epic trip to the beach. i happened to stumble upon a wedding that was happening. check it
