Coming out /adv/ and stories!
I am 29, gay and am still in the closet to most people in my life which is starting to really get to me emotionally.
My sister knows i am gay because we lived together in my early 20s and i had a boyfriend who kind of gave it away but I haven't been able to tell anyone else in my family even though i know they will be accepting and have fully supported my gay cousin and other gay family members.
I have left it so long because i live far away from my family and don't see them very often but i really want to come out to them, especially my mother because i know she already knows that i am gay but is just waiting for me to tell her and it will probably mean a lot to her having me tell her myself.
None of my co-workers know and I have lied to them about being straight and 'ex-gf' stories which were all guys that i just replace bf with gf, this will probably be the hardest part because i see them daily and i work in a very male dominated environment where we are all pretty close friends so they might get annoyed that i lied and some might be uncomfortable with a gay guy around.
Does /adv/ have any suggestions for me?
How can i come out and end this constant battle inside myself trying to hide who i am?
Also, if you are LGBT tell me how you came out, what age you were and how you handled negative reactions.
This belongs on /lgbt/ and not /adv/. Go away.
>>17270235
Asking for advice doesn't belong in advice.. i like it here, why don't you go away.
>>17270301
Reminds me of my situation. I didn't have to come out to co-workers since I work independently, but I had an issue with my gym buddies. I would go to the gym with a group of these guys, which were mutual friends, and we would go all the time. Honestly I think a few times they caught me checking them out. But I hid the truth, had to act like I was into the women when the guys saw a cute girl. It was hard to come out because we had just been bros the whole time and they 100% thought I was into girls. I made up my fair share of stories with them. I am glad I ended up coming out though. They were shocked at first of course, but they were understanding and when I explained everything they understood. Just get it over with OP, the longer you wait the harder it will be. If you get it out sooner than later you will thank yourself
>>17270370
how did you tell your gymbros? did they bring it up or did you just mention one day that you liked guys?
Did any of them bring up the stories or the fake interest in girls?
I'm just not sure how to approach the conversation really..
I don't want it to be a big deal and I don't want them to be uncomfortable with gay jokes or change the friendships at all which is why i'm put it off for so long at work.
>>17270395
It isn't something that can just casually come up, so I had to bring it up as if just ripping off a bandaid quickly. I just wanted to get it over with and I explained to them the reason I faked interest in girls, told them I just needed to get this off my chest and that this doesn't change anything but I just wanted them to know.
If you are able to tell them I think they will understand, just make it clear if that bothers you that you wont have problems with any gay jokes or anything. Once it is over with things are much more bearable
>>17270139
First, whether you're in the closet or out, there is no reason to go around telling everyone about your sex life. So coworkers and the like have no need to know.
Second, everyone who has gone through the experience of coming out reports afterward that it was liberating and freedom from a great weight. Chances are that your family won't be all that surprised and all you fear won't come to pass. But if you need moral support, enlist your sister to be with you when you tell them.
