I've been with my guy for over two years, and he has some serious anger problems. Conventional wisdom always says to leave, but a combination of mental health issues and abuse left my current partner very loud and sometimes violent towards walls/doors but never me. He's going through anger therapy and I'm sticking it out with him through nonviolent communication classes and acceptance and commitment therapy. I really don't know what to do knowing that he's trying when everyone around me seems to think I should leave him despite his improvements and efforts.
TLDR: What do you do if your partner is going through counseling for their anger problems and still having issues despite the therapy, but you actively see them trying? I've lost friends over the fact that he still yells, even though he calms down faster and has gotten less violent towards walls/doors/etc in my house (I own it) and has made improvements since he started therapy, they're just slow and he's struggling.
>>17269515
You need to get the fuck out until he fixes the problem.
>>17269515
Are you afraid of him? Has he ever threatened you? Does he punch the walls when he's angry at YOU, or when he's angry at something else?
I'm just trying to work out whether he freaks out and rages at YOU, or if he throws a tantrum and punches the walls when he had a bad day at work. Either way it's not good, and nobody would blame you for leaving. But if that kind of rage is being directed at you, you really do need to get yourself out of there before he loses control for real.
>>17269515
Trying to get better ain't worth shit if he accidentally breaks your neck while trying to get better.
Fuck feelings. logic says move on.
>>17269546
As often as not it's at me, but as I said, it actually has been getting better. When he isn't raging, he's incredibly supportive and is the reason I've gotten therapy for many of my own issues, including an actual diagnosis for my ADHD symptoms and coping techniques to work within the disorder. He helps me keep care of the house when I have trouble and has encouraged me to seek my dreams, leading to multiple short stories published and negotiations for a novel contract.
In other words, he's really good for me in general, and the anger problem is something he's working on, but people are still pressuring me to leave.
So you don't want to leave then. Thread's over.
>>17269546
He has never threatened me, they're more like temper tantrums and I'm not afraid of him. He's trying to learn to control his impulsiveness and is going through acceptance and commitment therapy to learn how to manage himself, as well as nonviolent communication and some self help stuff for anger given to him by his counselor. He really wants to get better, progress is just slower than it should be...
