I can see his family and other friends struggling for answers as to why he would do it.
Do i have an obligation to his family now that he is gone? I feel like my loyalty should always be with him since we were so close.
The reason for his suicide has the potential to tear the family apart as it involves sexual abuse among other things..
post the reason?
I really don't know, man. I guess the real question is - will someone else get hurt/abused if you keep your mouth shut? Does this involve a rapist/abuser who's walking around free and might do it again?
It's a real awkward spot, but to answer your question: At the risk of sounding insensitive, it's clear to me that your friend didn't really know how to handle his problems in the best way he could've. So while I can understand why you'd want to respect his wishes, consider the possibility that his judgment was wrong.
Again - if there's a potential more victims will be hurt, and damaged in the same way your friend was, and you're the only living person who knows about this - you have a moral obligation to speak up and do something about it.
>>17265741
>The reason for his suicide has the potential to tear the family apart as it involves sexual abuse among other things..
Do it and make a thread about what happens.
>>17265741
Tread carefully here! A death in the family brings out raw emotions and often can be explosive. Weigh whether the reason being known will do more good than harm. If there really is little to nothing positive to be gained by inserting yourself and divulging this secret (i.e. preventing more abuse), then keep it in your friend's memory and let life work itself out. I hope that this is helpful! GL!
Are you willing to alienate yourself from his family?
Because I have a feeling that's going to be a consequence as well.
>>17265741
we can't help you if we don't know the reason
>>17265741
>it involves sexual abuse among other things
Do you have proof? If not, there's likely no point. You'll just be attacked and accused of lying.
>>17265933
Yep. And people will tread a little more carefully around the guy he accused of abuse. Those accusations stick, even if they don't get proven in a courtroom. And if the guy really is a rapist, that might warn/save a future victim. There's ALWAYS a point to telling the truth
I think the other anon is right. There might be other people in danger or, god forbid, other victims of open/unsolved cases for all you know.
How much do you know about the details? I was thinking that perhaps you could send an anonymous letter addressed to some family members of his, especially if there are specific details that can place the person responsible in suspicious circumstances. People are not totally oblivious - sometimes they ignore what they don't want to see or dismiss it.
>>17265754
>>17265919
A close family friend raped him when he was 12 when his parents left him with the man while they were away for a few days. Was repeatedly raped during those three days. He told his father but he made him keep quiet about it because this family friend has close ties to the family business. I don't quite understand this part but without this family friend the business would go belly up and the dad did everything he could to keep my best friend quiet, my friend left his home at 16 and his dad financially supported him while he was pretending to do everything he could to bring the son back home, the dad knew why he left but lied to everyone about it in order protect this family friend.
>>17265933
I have seen his journals, and they detail the abuse he suffered in those few days he was left with the family friend, theyre all dated accordingly and even tells the stuff the dad did to keep him quiet, but unfortunately i dont have access to them, im afraid if i attempt to retrieve them then the father would know and go get them himself. They were left in their old home which is now occupied by his aunty and uncle, it would seem very strange for me to go there now and go pry open a floorboard to get them, no one in the family likes me because the father told them i was the girl who he left home at 16 for even though he was gay. I cant talk to the police either because of the familys standing in the community and all their connections it'll just mean they will go after me and my family
>>17266044
wtf
>>17266044
Wow. Dad did not have his priorities sorted at all there.
>>17266044
shit parenting and this is much more convoluted than what you made it seem.
I suggest you retrieve the journal first. you know their specific location on the house?
>>17266044
Do you know who raped him by name?
An anonymous tip can sometimes open a can of worms for a rapist. Predators rarely stop at one victim. If the rapist gets investigated for current crimes, his past might also get exposed. If you're lucky, this guy may have something on his record that causes police to dig deeper. This likely wouldn't lead back to you.
>>17266044
Jesus, you have to tell them this. The only people who will benefit from your silence are a rapist and his enabler.
>>17265741
Burn it down. Burn em all down.
the man who watches the guy in the alley get fucked when he has the power to stop it safely is just as bad as the one hitting him.
All evil needs to win is for good people to do nothing.
Burn them them to the ground. But get some money and equipment first to make backups of the journal digitally.
I think I'm going to be sick.
Might I offer an alternative? Vengence. There has to be someone in that family that will side with you. VENGENCE.
Make a copy of that journal, both digitally and physically. See both of their lives destroyed for what they've done to him.. both of them. Make them suffer.
I think I'm going to be fucking sick.
>>17266487
Well, if other people's lives still depend on that particular business and their involvement with it, then them too.
>>17266044
That is some dark, dark shit OP.
Get some justice for your friend. It's unlikely that the police will be able to do anything, even if they have the diaries. It was years ago, there's no physical evidence left.
But god fucking damn it, SOMETHING has to be done. There has to be someone in that family that gave a fuck about him. You have to tell someone about this
Or just post the fucker's name, honestly. Someone'll do something
>>17266273
I know the general vicinity, i know of the sort of stuff he hid in the spot but its exact location was a secret even to me. I just dont know how i would go there, the whole place is gated and there would be alarms, i cant see myself in some sort of cat burglar get up and breaking in to get it and leaving like it was nothing.
>>17266464
I know his first name, in the journals he is mentioned by his first and middle names, it shouldn't be hard for someone to find out his full name if they looked closely at the business.
In my heart i know it would be the right thing to do, just go straight to the police, but im just incredibly scared and in over my head about this whole thing, i also want to do right by my friend who i made a promise to, but im just one person, my family doesn't have connections or anything like theirs and i dont want this to affect my family in any way
>>17266623
Bullshit. Nobody's above the law just because they run a fucking business. No matter what he does, I'm sure he can be replaced.
>>17266633
Ehhh... the POLICE aren't gonna be able to do much. The crime took place years and years ago, and a diary doesn't exactly count as physical evidence. There's no way to prove this happened, especially since the victim is dead and unable to speak to himself.
I think you need to tell his family the truth. They deserve to know that the husband/father is a fucking coward and a monster, they deserve to know WHY their brother/son is dead, and they deserve to decide for themselves what to do about the motherfucker who did it.
After that, it'll be off your hands. But you have to tell someone.
>>17266647
This.
>>17266629
OP, you are anonymous here and this thread containing what details about yourself you have posted will be hard to track and eventually deleted. I'm sure there are lots of other people that were in his life after the incident that he possibly could have let this info slip to in a moment of weakness, that hypothetically could leak it to the internet, making you hard to pin down if someone completely unconnected to you or anyone else involved steps forward.
>>17266633
Just ask the aunt and uncle to let you look. You don't have to tell them the specifics yet, but you said his family has been struggling with why he would do this, so just tell them you know he kept journals somewhere and to let you help look for them since you know the general vicinity.
>>17266636
Not saying it makes it right or excuses any actions, just acknowledging that it could conceivably ripple to affect innocent lives.
I am sorry for your loss, and doubly so for the circumstances.
>>17266044
>I cant talk to the police either because of the familys standing in the community and all their connections it'll just mean they will go after me and my family
VENGEANCE VENGEANCE VENGEANCE VENGEANCE
Fuck your friend's family. Fuck them sideways with a cactus. They are as guilty for your friend's death as this family friend is, the Joe Paterno to his Jerry Sandusky.
Go to the police. Tell them you can lead them to decisive evidence concerning this family friend (who has probably raped other children already). Your friend's family might not like you going in to pry up floorboards, but when you're accompanied by police with a search warrant, there won't be much they can do about it. Your friend's father will not get to the journals before you can get them to safety.
>people saying go to the police
Nah, go to your local newspaper. It may be too late for the law to quietly carry through justice, but you can still expose the truth to your community.
>>17266668
That is completely irrelevant in this case. The guy's professional life is unrelated to his kiddy-diddling. And when there's only one person alive who can get justice for this poor kid, and you're trying to give her reasons to keep silent, it's like, just shut the fuck up and stay out of this one. You're doing more harm than good.
>>17266679
She deserves to be allowed to consider all the angles before weighing a decision. Ignoring the truth is the kind of attitude that lead up to this awful situation.
>>17266647
It's my word against the patriarch/the bread winner and the man who's supposedly integral to the businesses success, the dad smeared me when the son left home so as far as i know the last 4 years I've been the one who they blamed for him leaving at 16
I don't know or believe if i can do something "anonymously" either cos everything leaves a trace in this day and age doesnt it? Am i going to use a pay phone with a cloth around the mouthpiece? I dont think so
>>17266678
>Nah, go to your local newspaper. It may be too late for the law to quietly carry through justice, but you can still expose the truth to your community.
Not without proof. That's the problem: before OP can make any other moves, first she has to get those journals out of the family's hands. A journalist probably can't do that. The cops can.
>>17266688
>The cops can.
But would they?
>>17266688
>>17266693
I'm not actually sure that they CAN, even if they wanted to. The rape happened years ago and the accuser is dead. Could they even get a search warrant for something like that? I honestly don't know
>>17266687
So there was nobody else in the world who was close to the guy before he died?
Did he have brothers, sisters? If you can convince someone who lives in the house just to check out the diaries and see for themselves... maybe that'd do it?
If you phrase it like "Your father is a fucking monster, I just thought you should know," you might get a hostile reaction. But if you phrase it like "You need to read your brother's diary, there's something in there that you need to see" maybe that would be different.
I just think that if anything is gonna get done here, it needs to come from someone in the family. You're right, you're too much of an outsider here to do it by yourself. But you're the only one who knows. I dunno if we're gonna figure it out tonight in this thread, but SOMETHING needs to happen.
>>17266044
tell us the name and we'll do something about it (at least I would). if they start getting reports from multiple people what are they going to do about it except look into it and finally expose him?
then again, this is hard to deal with as it sounds like they've probably paid plenty of people off to keep that business running.
>>17266714
Maybe people who were close to him, but apparently nobody that also trusts her judging by what she's said.
Still, trust or not, I know I would be curious as fuck to read the diary of a suicide victim if I were in their shoes, and just the knowledge of the existence of one would tip me to dig it up regardless of my feelings for the source of the info of its location. The problem would be preventing the father from finding out about it and stepping in before it came into the right hands.
>>17266729
The father has no idea the diaries are there, so as long as she talks to a brother/sister, and gives them a vague warning not to tell their parents until they've read it themselves, it should be fine.
It'd be impossible for OP to get in there and get them herself without any suspicion. But if she can talk to someone in the house, it's as simple as waiting until the dad leaves for work.
>>17266721
>if they start getting reports from multiple people what are they going to do about it
Multiple people who say they're anon's personal army and that they're reporting it to destroy some guy based on anon's sole word with no proof? Not sure it's a great idea.
I think you should see if you could blackmail the dad for some money, friend is gone its sad i know but everyone could use some extra cash.
>>17266701
There is no time limit on this sort of thing. They can EASILY uncover this.
>>17267067
I thought there was a statute of limitations.
>>17266044
Don't get involved in this, it's not your duty, OK? The dad fully knows what happened and why, it's 100% his fault, failure and responsibility. He threw away the life of his very own son only to gain money's.
Keep your mouth shut before you destroy your own future, it'll not bring your friend back anyways.
>>17267086
>it'll not bring your friend back anyways
Might prevent it from happening to somebody else.
>>17266733
>, so as long as she talks to a brother/sister, and gives them a vague warning not to tell their parents until they've read it themselves, it should be fine.
Also if you really want to take initiative, you can do this at maximum
Tell someone of the family you can trust about the diary and where you think it could be hidden.
Keep your mouth shut about the fact that you know what's written in it though. It's always better to play dumb. Only tell them you think there might be some hints as to why he took his own life .
>>17267094
Then the adult (dad of the victim) should take the responsibility not the teenager. Kids aren't meant to have this much weight on their shoulders. It's completely the grown-ups tasks.
Listen to my advice, op. It's from a 30 year old mother of three.
>>17267086
How hostile is the rest of the family? I like what some of the other anons said. Approach them, day, "I know you don't like me but I think I know why X killed himself, he left journals in this house and they are still here." I guess there is a risk maybe more than the father knows and they'd destroy them but I don't see a lot of other choices, not sure how you'd be able to make copies with them around. Maybe the police could actually help, they'd be interested in this guy even if the statue of limitations is up. Do the state police if you're worried about connections.
>>17267138
OP did not state her age. She very well could be an adult and the father in the situation an elderly man.
>>17267150
From what I read I strongly assume op is 16-20 at max. A little kid and maybe barely adult. Her friend is dead and it's 100% the fault of his own father.
She can not be hold responsible for further victims of the monster. Only the father who should never have even consider leaving his own son at the care of some weird guy.
>>17267164
What we know is that her friend was raped at twelve, moved out at sixteen, and died sometime after that. We are going by assumption that she's an age close to his. The friend could've let those feelings fester for decades before they caught up to him. She really ought to be at least 18 to be posting on this site anyway, so legally an adult.
But her age is beside the point of her decision. Would you really want, say, a young teacher of your own child's class not to report signs of sexual abuse on your kid's classmate just because the teacher were in their early twenties and didn't want it to affect their future? Would you want your kid coming in contact with their classmates abuser through that classmate because the only ones that could speak up about it were kids and felt the need to keep their heads down?
>>17267182
>The friend could've let those feelings fester for decades before they caught up to him.
This is very, very very very unlikely. Do you know how the mind of a rape victim and even way worse a child who got betrayed by their very own parent works?
>a young teacher of your own child's class not to report signs of sexual abuse on your kid's classmate just because the teacher were in their early twenties
Someone at the age of 25 or 26 isn't the same as someone at the age of 20.
Also don't act like there could always bw only one person who noticed and needs to save the world. Especially if, like the case with ops is, there is an adult who KNEW about all.
If I ever saw the kid and suspected anything I'd do anything it takes to protect the classmate of my child. It is MY duty, not some kids if I failed to do so.
>>17266044
By not telling the authorities you are protecting his rapist.
Blackmail the father!
>>17267467
>>17266943
>>17266701
I'm gambling on the statistic that the average child rapist has many victims. It may indeed not be possible to prosecute this monster for what he did to your friend: some jurisdictions have longer statutes of limitations than others, but I don't know your case. But even if the journals cannot be used to prosecute him for your friend, they may be useful as supporting evidence to prosecute him for someone else. It's a more roundabout path to justice, but it leads to the same place.
Also, depending on the jurisdiction, driving someone to suicide may be considered murder. If those journals can provide conclusive proof that this is why your friend killed himself, you may be able to prosecute his rapist for something very different.
He got fucked by a guy and became gay... that makes me wonder about if something happened to my brother :/
didn't read thread.
emotional thinking : should say it
rational thinking : shouldn't say it
lil' bit of both : yeah but assuming you will say it, that will change nothing, unless you got proof of that. To avoid charges, just send letter and had proof of what you're saying to the police, don't put your name, or see if there is any way to not be quoted on that
>>17266044
This kinda stuff is how ghosts are created anon
DO YOU WANT A FUCKING GHOST?!
Your friend is dead now, so it doesn't matter what you decide to do. It's not like he's going to come back from Hell and kick your ass.
>>17267138
His father abandoned him after he was raped in order to protect his business. I don't understand why you think he'd suddenly have a change of heart about exposing the truth about what happened if he is the only other person who knows about it. He's already displayed that he does not care about his son. And now that he's dead why would he bring up the truth? Almost all of the evidence is gone now. He's one step closer to getting off without a hitch.
And if you're actually insinuating that the rapist himself would come forward because he feels bad about what he did you are hilariously delusional, especially since he's had years to do exactly that.
Why would you expect the man who sold out his own son to suddenly gain a conscience?
>>17267067
But if it's gonna stick, there needs to be evidence, and I just don't see how that's possible. The rapist can just say "everything in that diary is bullshit, I never laid a finger on him" and there'll be no way to prove otherwise. I'm just not sure calling the cops is the best way to address this
>>17267209
>Do you know how the mind of a rape victim and even way worse a child who got betrayed by their very own parent works?
No, and I hope you don't either. But I do know some victims of similar abuse and I have seen them go for years seeming to be perfectly fine before something crops up and they have an unexpected breakdown.
> there could always be only one person who noticed and needs to save the world
Maybe there's more than one in some situations, but if they all have the attitude you want OP to have it doesn't matter if there's any at all.
>there is an adult who KNEW about all
And look what a great help he is.
I just can't help but picture you tucking your children in at night and telling them:
>Remember sweethearts, always put your own safety first and doing the right thing second, because you're young and your lives are too precious to risk for helping somebody less fortunate than you. At least til you turn about twenty five and have kids of your own, then you magically become an adult and it's suddenly your responsibility to protect everyone younger than you from the same predators you let continue exist when you were 18 and are still victimizing children.
Thought about it, slept on it, woke up, read thread, thought about it some more. I'm convinced i should do something about it, but I'm no closer to knowing i should go about it, i think i may need legal advice so i am aware of what exactly could come of this if im able to get those journals, i am not from america too so the laws might be a tad different here in australia. Thank you for all your help and suggestions, i am at that stage where i know something needs to be done, i just want to be careful about it so i don't affect my loved ones in the process of getting justice for my late friend
>>17269041
I think the best advice you've received: Contact his mother or one of his siblings. Tell them to read the diary themselves. Once you've found a way to deliver this information to someone in his actual family (besides his father, obviously) it's out of your hands.
Just say, "Your brother kept a diary, I think you need to read his entries from (relevant dates). This is where he hid them. See for yourself"
>>17268727
>No, and I hope you don't either.
Sadly I can relate.
>but if they all have the attitude you want OP to have it
THEY ARE KIDS. They are supposed to grow up sheltered. Stop fucking arguing with me only because you try to save the world. You can't even imagine what harm it causes kids to feel responsible and guilty for "not being stronger".
>I just can't help but picture you tucking your children in at night and telling them
Yes basically I'll "tell" them that. By not telling anything unnecessary and sheltering them as much as possible.
Do you even have kids? Do you even think about how the mother of op would feel if op pulled trouble or even worse by messing with this story? Why her kid, just because she pitied and offered friendship to someone suicidal? Do you even think about how op maybe even if not caring for her own life, cares and worries about the lives of her own fucking family.
Shut your fucking mouth if you can't even have empathy for op. Only your fake justice is mattering for you.
How old are you even? You seem to be a little kid yourself, trying to be oh so responsible and adult.
>>17267138
Just because the adults should take responsibility, doesn't mean they will, and considering this father had all the time between his son's rape and suicide to do the right thing it's pretty clear he won't do anything.
Just because it's not a young person's responsibility to come forward, doesn't mean they shouldn't. I wouldn't blame OP for not coming forward, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be a good thing to do.
Telling a presumed kid to keep this a secret because it's 'not their place' to say anything can be just as damaging as encouraging them to come forward.
Just because it's something you're uncomfortable with seeing young people deal with this kind of shit, as a mother, doesn't change the reality that OP is already dealing with it, whether they come forward or not.
>>17269085
The problem with this is that they don't like me because the dad made me look like i was the one that he left home for which is obviously not true, if i approach them it would just make them suspicious and probably tell the dad
>>17269522
You really think they'd tell the father rather than checking it out first? Does he have them all under his thumb like that?
>>17269496
Don't drag the conversation to somewhere unrelated again.
I'd never tell kids to stfu if there wasn't any danger coming from it related.
And if MY kids could be in danger it's my fucking right as a mother to forbid them to speak. Period.
Op asked for advice and it seems she's dealing with big people. Big in the community and big as a wealthy business holder. I told her not to mess with them and not to feel guilty for it especially if an adult who knows the truth keeps quiet about it. Which he does again because of the danger.
Grow up kid, the world is not as full of justice as you whish it was. There's organised crime and power and money can even corrupt the police. The truth is, everything is a lot more complicated and layered as you could even imagine.
That's the reason kids should stay out of adult matters in the first place.
>>17269286
>They are supposed to grow up sheltered.
Well that kind of gets fucked up when you get raped, or when your friend kills themselves after getting raped. That ship has fucking sailed. YOU CANNOT PROTECT KIDS FROM A REALITY THEY ARE ALREADY EXPERIENCING. You can't tell them that it's not fucking happening and that they have to ignore it just because YOU'RE not comfortable with it.
And as far as empathy goes, how are you kids supposed to cultivate it for people worse off than they are if you raise them in a bubble? What are they going to say when a friend finds the courage to confess for the first and only time to the secret of what they're going through? How are your kids supposed to even believe them?
Go ban some fucking books while you're at it, see how happy your kids get along when they're completely fucking alone with the secret horrors they experience and have no way of getting out or even validating their pain.
Some words from an author who said it best:
http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2011/06/09/why-the-best-kids-books-are-written-in-blood/
>They wanted to protect me from sex when I had already been raped. They wanted to protect me from evil though a future serial killer had already abused me. They wanted me to profess my love for God without considering that I was the child and grandchild of men and women who’d been sexually and physically abused by generations of clergy.
>What was my immature, childish response to those would-be saviors?
>“Wow, you are way, way too late.”
>And now, as an adult looking back, I wonder why those saviors tried to warn me about the crimes that were already being committed against me.
>I read books about monsters and monstrous things, often written with monstrous language, because they taught me how to battle the real monsters in my life.
>>17269522
>if i approach them it would just make them suspicious and probably tell the dad
As this anon indicated, I don't think so either. Just tell them about the diary and youre done here
>>17269530
>>17269554
>And if MY kids could be in danger it's my fucking right as a mother to forbid them to speak. Period.
Holy shit you're a fucking monster.
>>17269564
No, honestly, she might be right. I understand her perspective. You don't, because you've been lucky enough to live your life without coming into contact with powerful people that can crush little people and get away with it.
I agree with the other posters that telling the family about the diary is the perfect way to handle this. The mother deserves to know what happened to her son, she deserves to know her husband is a coward, and if he had siblings they deserve to know too. And they deserve to decide for themselves how to handle it.
OP does not appear to know much about the guy who committed the rape. Apparently, he's scary enough to make a guy sell out his own son and keep quiet about it. The father is a horrible person, but nobody WANTS to do that. Think it through. She doesn't have to get TOO mixed up in this.
>>17269041
I'd get legal advice, yeah. If those journals are the best hard evidence there is, it's risky to leave/put them in the hands of people who might destroy them, and retrieving them is a legal issue.
>>17269578
If OP doesn't want to get involved, that's her decision, possibly the most pragmatic one, and no one could judge her for it. But saying "this is my child, I own it, and I will keep it quiet" is the height of disgusting.
>>17269559
It's not the duty of my kids to have genuine empathy with fucked up kids of failed parenthood. I will raise them sheltered, stop getting jealous and deal with it.
If they'll get to be 80 years old, they still have about 62 years left to develop slowly into adults and learn about all of the shit going on in our world. Seems long enough. Now be a good kid yourself and fuck off from this site before you really are beyond repair.
>>17269564
>Holy shit you're a fucking monster.
Holy shit you're a fucking clueless kid sticking it's nose into things far bigger than your can comprehend.
relative of suicide victim here, (every story different, no sexul abuse in this case though) - with the example of Thomas Vinterbergs movie "the celebration" i'd like to point out that even if you start taking actions against proable criminal social influences that affected your friends final act (guess you know about humanities - social studies and psychology), you may will hit a very strong wall, if the family itself won't go to court. the human mind tricks itself to maintain self-esteem such as one's learned, achieved, socialzied and created world (views). it is a human thing to not accept messages,weither one doesn't accept the content or the informant when the own world-view and basic believes are questioned. Too many people are shit and not capable to accept and work on their own wrongs. You are standing in front of a battle, you can choose to fight or not. Maybe those people know what they have done and their questioning is insincere, but you can't even be sure about how much they feel guilty though. Maybe saying something one day you always wanted to say will help you free your mind, don't hope for justice, look for strong evidence. humand mind and society can be a fucked up place. i really wish you all the best for YOUR life!
>>17269584
>and no one could judge her for it.
Yes anyone could because it may mean the end of her entire family. Your life doesn't belong only to you, kid. If you want to desperately grow up this much you need to learn this first.
>>17269584
I guess I didn't read too far back into that conversation to get context. My main point is that it might not be a great idea for OP to accuse the guy herself. I think telling the kid's mother about the diary is a better idea.
None of us fully understand this situation. Not me, not you, and not OP. If this rapist is a close associate of the kid's father, the mother probably knows him too, and knows whether or not he's actually dangerous. Maybe he's not a big shot at all, the father is just a MASSIVE pussy, and both of them will rot in jail like they deserve. I just don't think it's all up to the OP to press charges against the rapist, when all she knows is a secondhand story from a dead friend whose family doesn't trust her.
>>17269600
Very well spoken. Thank you for sharing with you some of your wisdom. Sorry for your loss.
>>17269613
>Maybe he's not a big shot at all,
Yeah right. I'd throw away the life of my son any time for "not a big shot at all". Any father would any day.
>>17269600
anon here again
>>17269613
totally true!
forgot to mention that in this hard times it is probably not possible to rlly get the situation and feelings somehow straight for yourself, take your time and professional help maybe. Talks can get out of hand quicker than you are prepared to think about.
Please don't forget that you are not a family member, so maybe one day stick with your friends relatives you most got along!
>>17269630
If he was a decent person, he'd throw his own life away first. He clearly isn't. For all you know, he was just paying a debt.
>>17269630
One piece of shit adult in this story raped a kid. Who's to say the father isn't also a piece of shit who'd ignore it?
>>17265741
Is there any way you can contact one of the family members anonymously? If not the mother then a sibling? Maybe on some form of social media with a fake profile or via mail or something.
Honestly as shitty as it sounds there's probably not a whole lot you can do from a legal standpoint. And talking to the family directly after years of them hearing the father's smear against you seems like it would only end up alerting the father to what's going on as opposed to actually helping your plan. It's also possible that the mother might be close to the rapist as well if the family ties to that business are so close. Did he have siblings? Other close friends or coworkers that are on better terms with the family than you?
Impartiality here is important if the dad really does have connections that could result in something potentially coming back to your family. There's way too many variables here to act with 100% certainty, and so if you do decide to do something about it you need to be extremely careful, and if possible take your time. It might take some years for this to finally resolve.
Losing a friend to suicide is tough, and the people who did that to him deserve some form of justice, but don't let your desire to help someone who's dead jeopardize the safety of those who are still living.
>>17269641
He clearly is. No one is arguing that. I'd trade my very own life for the life of my kids in a heartbeat. I'd take my entire family and moved far far away and live in poverty if needed.
Just pointing out that still no one harms their own flesh and blood for this cheap.
>>17269658
>Just pointing out that still no one harms their own flesh and blood for this cheap.
Except people do it all the time?
Sounds like you will end up in a ditch somewhere. Best just to forget about this whole affair.
>>17269286
I'm 28, but I'm not going to wave it around like I think it makes a difference how old I am. I'd rather have my words speak for themselves. And my sense of justice isn't fake: you just plain don't HAVE a sense of justice.
>>17269592
>It's not the duty of my kids to have empathy. I will raise them sheltered
You are a terrible parent and an all around awful human being for that. You shouldn't just leave this site, you should fuck off and quite fucking up society as a whole.
>>17265741
post is bait or this guy is a teenager.
>>17269286
>THEY ARE KIDS. They are supposed to grow up sheltered.
Only to a certain degree. They are also supposed to grow up with degrees of adversity to overcome, dilemmas to work through, and opportunities to choose what's right over what's easy. You mean well with your declared intent to shelter your kids as much as possible, but you would be doing them a grave disservice by taking it that far.
>>17269664
Yes they do. Like one in ten thousand. You clearly fall for the bad incidents are huge in media meme. Nobody talks about all those thousands of hard working good parents who come after one bad/mentally ill parents.
>>17270469
>Only to a certain degree.
Of course. I'm not fighting their playground battles for them... stay on the topic and don't try telling me things I already know.
>>17270958
The fuck are you even talking about?
Just because something's rare, doesn't mean it can't be the case here. We have literally no idea what might have been going through this person's head. He could be a saint who was just put in such a terrible position that this was his only option, or he could just be a cunt who didn't give a fuck, or anything in between.
>>17270963
Jesus christ you're a crazy cunt.
>>17270155
>I'm 28
No you're sixteen. At least that's your mental age. Your mind is what my mind was at sixteen.
>You are a terrible parent and an all around awful human being for that.
No you're only horribly undeveloped and seem to have mental issues preveting you to grow up mentally.
>you should fuck off and quite fucking up society as a whole
Talking about society while not contributing to it, so much Lela.
Shut your fucking mouth. I'll start talking to you again after you put years of hard work, sleepless nights, feeling helpless/their pain when they get sick, wanting to trade/take their hurt on your own body and putting lots of money into raising your own kids.
Until then shut your fucking teenage trap and stop giving fatally wrong and bad advice and wasting peoples time.
>>17270989
>hurr I'm better than everyone because I pushed a football out my vagina a while ago just like literally every female mammal is built to do, everyone is stupid but me
Yes, dear.
>>17270982
>Jesus christ you're a crazy cunt.
No you seem to be the crazy cunt. I owned you in every single point and you still keep coming back asking for more degradation. While only spewing bullshit to defend your bullshit answers. After all that you can do nothing more than spew unrelated insults.
I'm so much keking
>>17270996
You know there's more than one person talking to you, right?
>>17270991
>hurr I'm better than everyone because
Lel, this is what I'm talking about. Get defensive little hurt kid :)
Next time try being a better loser. Kek
>>17270999
You know it's simpler to refer to the same kind of people as you on an anonymous website where you can't really distinct who's who?
>>17266044
fucking hell lol
>>17266044
Literally get a lawyer really fucking faster than a laser bullet. This is serious shit for fucks sake.
do not tell his family, as you promised your friend. instead - find that man and kill him, avenge your friend.
>>17270963
Hey, you're the one who said you'd shelter them as much as possible. That kind of helicopter mindset inevitably winds up going too far.
>>17269559
molyneux puts it succinctly that women are concerned with safety to the point where they will happily throw freedom, rights, morals, etc, down the drain just for a bit of safety for their family.
i wouldn't bother arguing with it.
>>17266044
Sounds like a meme movie. Honestly, are you this fucking diluted? Not to sound insensitive, but get a fucking lawyer on this shit ASAP. God damn it, how is this hard to grasp? This is some conspiracy shit right here you fucking moron.
>>17271000
You do know that multiple people have been replying to you, right?
>>17270989
The only thing squatting out kids seems to have done for you is made you incredibly closeminded and selfish. You may think you're a paragon of morality because you would "do anything for them" but your just "take care of your own attitude" is treating your children as extensions of yourself and therefore you are distancing yourself from any concern for the rest of humanity. Being a parent, even managing to be being a moderately not shitty one, doesn't make you Jesus Christ.
>I'm only two years younger than you
>lol no ur not
Yeah, real mature there Mom.
>>17270989
I think you've forgotten what points I've even been trying to make, so let me reel it back and highlight some of them.
>there is a very real possibility that OP's friend's abuser is still hurting children. OP has a right to consider that notion before making a decision regarding the matter
>OP never stated their age and you are only assuming they are a teenager. That is possible but not necessarily true
>OP's age is irrelevant in this situation anyway because moral obligation is something that applies to people regardless of age
>there is no magic Responsibility Fairy that descends upon you on your 25th birthday and transforms you into an adult, nor does it pop out with the afterbirth after a chick has a kid either
>growing up is a gradual process that starts at birth and never really stops. its different for everyone and it is okay for us to treat OP as a reasoning adult
I think you've even already agreed with those last two by deciding to proclaim me a child even though I'm pretty close to age to you, so thanks for that. You should be able to see then that since you don't believe maturity is necessarily connected to age, it is possible OP is a mature enough person to handle their situation without just deciding its a job for grownups and sticking her head in the sand.
Here's something you might be surprised about because for too many posts now we've just been trading personal attacks.
>I DO think OP should consider her own safety before making her decision
>I think OP should consider ALL angles of the situation because it is a complicated decision
