Do you ever fantasize about having friends? Sometimes I imagine that I have real friends that call me up and just want to hang out. But I've never found anyone that I understand, or that understands me. I think I'm just incapable of making friends unless its in a romantic relationship. I'm really fucking lonely.
I fantasize about having more girlfriends.
I don't feel any pleasure from being around other guys either. Never felt any kind of bond. My wife is my best friend.
I know that feel. I have always been at the fringe of social circles. Right now I have no friends, even after trying to make friends at work. I have come to terms with the fact that I may be autistic. This isn't a "oh Fuck making friends is too much effort ill just write this off" kind of deal. My half sisters who share my mother are normal well adjusted people but my full sis who shares my dad is insane. Psychotic. My father is also....not normal and has talked to a doctor any was diagnosed. Point is, now that I know what to look poi it for I can deal with being a social outcast better. I find comfort in being who I am and now have more confidence when I go out. I ended up buying a motorcycle and making.a trip to New york. Find your malfunction, fix it or deal with it and learn to progress from there. It would be easier if you can find someome like yourself you can talk to on how to cope. Give yourself the help you deserve, look into your family like I did for clues or talk to a professional.
>>17263951
This too, once I found what was broken in me, I ended up being more confident. I'm still socially distant but I managed to get a girlfriend. She's my best friend and I don't need anyone else.
>>17263943
I don't quite understand what people actually do to fantasise about that. The concept sure.
>>17263963
Like I have sat adjacent to people to hear what they talk about but I can't make out what they're saying despite knowing the individual words.
>>17263958
My dad has multiple personality disorder and bi-polar. And I think his only friends were his drug addict buddies that he eventually gave up on when he met my mum. I've always felt distant from him I guess. I'm not really sure what my problem is though. I just find it hard to relate to people I'm not also trying to sleep with. Without the sexual thing I just find it really difficult to become close to people. I don't know. I'm not quite sure what my malfunction is to combat it.
>>17263963
For example I know of someone who is a tattoo artist. I imagine that somehow I would become friends with them and their friends and then we would hang out one time and they would give me a tattoo or something. I mean stupid things like that that would indicate they liked me as a friend or some kind of acceptance. Or even just going to a park and watching a group of friends drinking beers or whatever and wishing that I was part of their group that they invited to the park.
>>17263994
Talk to a professional bro. Sounds to me like you could benefit from some real help. In spite of me knowing my dad had passed a defect to me I am too scared to get help. I'm sure you won't have the same reasons for not going.
>>17263943
>unless its in a romantic relationship
Well OP; my suffering>your suffering.
Sorry bro, no simpathy this time.
>>17263943
I used to imagine meeting other nerds/geeks, and it was a long time before I met one but by then I was socially inept and geekdom had been filled by regular people.
I wonder where losers gather these days.
>>17264243
>i wonder where losers gather these days
They probably wonder the same thing.
>>17264243
Living life feigning being like the rest of the people, but crying alone at home.
think it after you have quited to spit on me
>>17263943
Haha the ol 'no one understands me' routine.
What a classic. You're probably scared and shy, but you're certainly not very different from your peers. It's just a convenient lie that justifies your isolation. That's the case practically every time, and it smacks of pride for you to consider yourself a constant exception.
>>17264404
As a woman who grew up surrounded by attention you can't really comprehend OP situation.
No. I actively avoid friendship. People always want to make friends with me when I meet them, and I always blow them off, pretend to be busy, stop returning their calls until they stop calling. It actually makes me a little angry if someone really tries hard to get through to me, even if I actually like them. I just don't like "hanging out."
I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know why I do this. I just want to be left alone.
>>17264404
OP here. I accept that that's a very true possibility. This isn't really the question though. I really struggle to create friendships, regardless of how different or similar we actually are. I just really struggle to become close to people, to the point where I actively try to avoid it.
>>17263943
I am considered a friendly and funny person irl, so I have quite a few "friends" who call me almost daily; Tbqh, I find this whole thing pretty boring most of the time and I would like to be left alone for a while...but I "play along" with them because I see this make them happy and I don't want to be an asshole. But it's getting on my nerve.
Probably it's a weird situation, but I'm actually thinking about moving with my job in another country to find peace and leave them with a "good excuse".
>>17263951
probably because you were supposed to be gay
>my wife is my best friend
just lol faggot all men are supposed to have a gang, ever since the Neanderthal era this was true
>>17264512
I get that a lot too, I used to have a group of friends that slowly dwindled down to a couple before only 1, then 0.
The cause of that was because none of them were serious about things I was.
Too frequently being called "weird" for saying something that didn't fit their social standing.
Embarrassment of being overheard talking about nerdy and geeky stuff.
For me, I left all my friends and do more things at a greater efficiency than if I did have someone at my side.
Just find something to do, become #1 and people will surround you.
I fantasize about having no friends and being alone again. The grass is always greener.
After years of being alone and friendless, I made some friends this year who invite me out and hang out frequently. Even if it's just like once a week and have a good time, I start to feel like I'd rather just stay at home shitposting on /b/ or something
I feel really stupid for typing this, but I had a roommate that moved out of my house two weeks ago, and I used to fantasize about asking her to be one of my bridesmaids when I got married (the other would be my sister). Only I never once made any kind of effort to hang out with her and actually even passed up opportunities when she offered to hang out with me, and we were never more than acquaintances who happened to share rent in the same house. And now that she's moved out I now realize I'm probably never going to see her again outside of an occasional annual party sometimes. I used to imagine that I'd ask her to help me pick out my wedding dress, or since she's made dresses before I kind of wanted to hire her to hand make a dress for me. I drew a doodle of a dress, but I'm shit at drawing. I guess I just feel a little bad that there are no other girls that are a part of my life.
I'm a guy but all I ever wanted was just to have cute friends to do cute things like pic related
Would anyone ever draw a pic of two nerd guys playing D&D? Fuck that shit
>>17265044
Speaking of weddings I attended an acquaintence of mine's, I guess he was trying to fill seats since it was quite a small turnout. But it was still a decent-sized group of people.
If got married I don't think I even get that many people.
>>17266320
I basically only have one friend who is also my boyfriend, and everyone else I know is through him. If we get married and nobody sits on my side of the aisle to humor me or even things out, my side will be empty while his will be packed. I don't even want to invite most of my family since I don't have a good relationship with them. The idea of having a second bridesmaid aside from my sis only even came about because my bf has two old friends he is very close to and very attached to the idea of having as his groomsmen, but if he could he'd be happier with having like seven groomsmen between his slightly less close but still close friends.
I'm very grateful to have him and it's nice to know so many good people through him, but I have some hangups with the fact that my friend circle probably think of me as "so and so's gf" first and myself as an individual as an afterthought. It's still a hole I dug for myself by not socializing more.
>>17266320
At my wedding I had about 6 guests (including 4 family members) - my wife had over 50
>>17266349
>It's still a hole I dug for myself by not socializing more.
I often wonder how much is my fault cos I had a crappy selection of friends as a kid in a crappy area with crappy people. I don't think I'm even exaggerating much. It was only when I got to college (UK) that I found different people but I was too socially-stunted to do anything by then and I remained by myself later at uni.
>>17266402
Yeesh, what was that like?
I sometimes imagine what it would be like to keep up with people again, maybe find out what they are doing and hang out. Sometimes I like to think about the fun adventures we could go on or something who knows man. Then I remember that I don't actually want others involved in my life. I don't want to make choices that I'll be forced into and I don't want to drag others to hell with me. I'm a loner through and through and thats it. Friends are overrated. Being strong on your own is what matters.
>>17266434
I couldn't care less about the event itself or other people but I wish the money was put towards more useful things.
>>17266446
>Being strong on your own is what matters.
I've been on my own for some time now, it's really not all that much fun.
>>17264757
>none of them were serious about things I was
This.
I think this is why I don't like them as much as they do.. They like "to be entertained" and I'm their "entertainer". But we have very little in common, so I feel pretty alone sometimes. It would be better to be alone than having "friends" and feeling lonely.
This is why I love this board, I can be honest here. I would like to be that honest irl but my morals won't let me be myself...
pretty much me everyday. i would vastly prefer a solid group of friends to a boyfriend who will probably find a reason to leave me or cheat on me.
what sucks is that i can hardly find any solid female friends. every male ever has only wanted to pursue me romantically. never just a friendship with them... they always leave as soon as i friend-zone them. (or otherwise persistently force a romance on to me)
i've had trouble keeping friends all my life. i make them easily enough but something stupid will happen and they'll never talk to me ever again. i remember when i used to have a best friend... i don't remember ever being that happy in my life. then i caught her shit talking me (and her other friends), called her out on it calmly (even going as far as to apologize to her), and she never talked to me ever again.
should i ever get married, my biggest fear is who i would be able to invite to the wedding. i can only think of my family and literally no one else.
my bf is my only friend (until i have to find another...)
I've toyed with the idea of going to a comic book shop to meet other people but with geek chic in full swing, I'd probably be an outsider in my own thing.
>>17267042
You don't understand how the male brain works, do you? You should read Freud a bit
>>17264243
>I wonder where losers gather these days.
You've found it buddy.
>>17266446
>I don't want to drag others to hell with me.
This is the crux of the issue with me. It's not that I don't like people or don't enjoy their company, but I have nothing to offer them from a social standpoint. I don't invite people over because there's nothing to do at my house. I don't talk to people unless they talk to me first because it always feels like I'm bothering them, because if they actually wanted to hang out they'd let me know right? Most of my conversations are mostly one-sided with me just listening to them talk and giving occasional input so they know I'm still listening.
There's nothing that I offer in any situation that they can't get from someone else. Whenever I'm hanging out with someone it always feels like I'm just wasting their time.
>>17268391
Me too. I don't want to be a fifth wheel and impose myself into things.
