The more I hear about my boyfriends past the more irritated and anxious I get. We've been together 10 months and so far I've learned he..
>fucked a bunch of whores in high school
>been in bands where he fucked groupies
>been part of a gangbang
>has had fwbs
>was hooking up with someone a month before we met
>once fucked someone's wife(claims he was immature and wouldn't do it again)
I was a virgin when I met him and had very little sexual experience. Whenever I hear something about his wild past I get anxiety and I don't know why. I am also disgusted by this and it makes me think less of him... it also makes me trust him less...why is this? Am I the one with the problem? How do I stop letting this bother me?
Also when we met he told me he was "not into hookups". Which was clearly a lie.
Definitely something to watch out for, considering you said he was still on this streak a month before y'all met, so he doesn't really know being single.
Doesn't mean focus on it, though. Someone like you would also be perfect for someone who's exhausted their sexual drive.
He lied to you, and doesn't respect his body and sex the way you do. You have a major difference in values and honesty.
>>17263122
I don't think he would cheat. Just the fact that he's pretty much a slut disgusts me. Maybe its because I didn't hook up with people growing up because I was taught that sex is supposed to be special.
Because it's a red flag, and you instinctually feel it.
>>17263123
All of this.
OP, you're not perfect for someone who has "exhausted their sex drive", you're most compatible with someone who has had the same past experience as you (read: has the same values/personality and has made the same decisions).
And before anyone says it, I would say THE EXACT SAME if the sexes were reversed.
Dating sluts is disgusting, because they destroy your perception of sex being special. You feel that you give something special to them and they can't respect it, you're not special to them, just cumdump #76.
Because virginity is clearly not something that important for him as it is for you.
If he realy did what he did and lied about it then you can't be certain he is honest with you now. Habbits die hard and the way you describe it, he changed his life for you a lot.
>>17263124
It's not that "you were taught", it is. Sex is something very special, but here in America, it's used as a drug against men to keep them going. It works, too. It's supposed to be a prize or a trophy, and that's where the problem set in. Male competition and all that, who has more trophies, etc.
Note, this is the opposite of the competitive women's field of chastity, where you're a winner too for holding out.
>>17263112
lol oh wow, sorry you met a man-whore op. my past bf's have been more or less the same. my current is a reformed man slut for the past 2 or 3 years so it isn't as bad i guess.
imo, most people in general are looking for an intimate experience rather than something casual. sure he may have fucked around, but maybe he was just doing that to pass the time til he found someone he can really feel for.
most cheating happens because something is wrong in the relationship or the person's character is seriously flawed or they are a self-centered person. so i wouldnt worry about this unless he demonstrates a selfish/entitled attitude.
if you really can't stand it, dump him. i admit i had to do an STD test each time even after my bf's told me they were clean after finding out about their slutty past. it's kind of gross and i kind of wish i could be dating someone who has a more reserved attitude towards sex sometimes... but his good character makes up for it.
>>17263134
Doesn't that only work if you have little experience, though? I mean, I highly doubt a slutty guy and a slutty girl would make for a good couple. Or is it that people who are/ were sexually active dont deserve a second chance and should just stay sluts?
>>17263112
>>17263124
End the relationship, find a guy who's more sexually compatible with you. This shit never ends well.
>>17263170
Why not? Explain please?
My main problem is that despite my feelings of disgust at his past I am still in love with him. But yea we have vastly different views of sex.
>>17263166
It's not about second chances, it's about sexual compatibility, lifestyles, and values. Conflicts in these fundamental things can slowly eat away a relationship because they are very important and there is no common ground to return to.
>>17263159
>i kind of wish i could be dating someone who has a more reserved attitude towards sex sometimes... but his good character makes up for it.
This is kind of how I feel. Like he is a good boyfriend overall. But I am still disgusted and I want to make that feeling of disgust and mistrust go away so I can continue the relationship without any issues.
>>17263166
Slutty people can better differentiate between beeing another fuck and a relationship. For someone without experience may not see the flags indicating towards the one or another.
There for people with similar experiences can better understand each other.
Sex is only what you make it. It can be special or meaningless given the occasion. You people who say its always special are retarded and watch way to much halmark channel.
OP did you let him do the dew and now you feel disgusted?
>>17263189
I initiated it because he's the first guy who made me feel comfortable.
But this was before I found out about all this. If I had known I might not have let myself grow attached to him in the first place.
>>17263192
Does his name rhyme with Shawn Jaggner by any chance?
>>17263198
No.
Your feelings are correct. This is a sign of problems. Not the sex itself. Sex is good, but he could have the same amount of sex or even more with a few girls. Why did he dump them or escape responsibility? That's the real problem with sluts.
>>17263173
This disgust you're feeling is a red flag. There is nothing wrong with you, you're just not compatible. You also said that you think less of him and don't trust him. Also major red flags.
And you can love someone you're incompatible with. Love is not what makes relationships work.
>>17263199
Well that's too bad, sounds like a friend of mine. He's actually a really great guy, although I'm not saying that is universally true. You should maybe talk to him about it.
>>17263206
>Love is not what makes relationships work
This anon speaks the hard truth.
>>17263208
'Great guy' is subjective and relative lol
I hate to break it to you ladies but guys like to fuck. We are cursed with wanting to fuck the majority of attractive women we encounter. Sometimes it takes a while to learn how to control that. Give the guy a break if hes staight with you.
>>17263211
Well I said it wouldn't be universally true, my friend is a genuinely nice person the same may not be true of OPs man. But they're in oddly similar circumstances, I'm just saying cut the guy some slack.
>>17263215
What was the point of this?
The point is not to knock a guy cause he slept with alot of women in the past. Guys arnt coos hounds forever. Mid to late 20s we start to grow up.
>>17263112
This is high quality bait. 9/10 Good job OP. I'm proud of you.
>>17263237
>>17263215
Nope. There are plenty of guys out there who aren't promiscuous, just like there are plenty of girls who aren't. Hell, some guys even wait until marriage on their own accord because of their beliefs/morals.
Yes of course there are alot of individuals on this planet. Men who are what I was talking about, testosterome levels drop in mid to late 20's. Having a young male mind mixed with surging testosterome tends to create an over sexed mind. Wtf is wrong women where I have to break my point down 3 times. And someone is still going this pure science is wrong.
>>17263112
Okay I may actually be able to give you some amazing advice. It just depends on how you heal, in the end.
So I was insane about this chick who dated a guy almost two years. The guy was my "friend". After the break up I went for the girl. For a while, like 10 months. I never got anything back.
Eventually my roommie told her how much I liked her. She took that info and threw it away, ended up fucking another friend just cause he maybe had another inch on me that reminded her of her ex-bf.
You're going through weird shit. For some reason girls get more attached than guys at virgins. It just happens. Just know that it isn't something he is doing to you, it's something YOU are doing to you. He isn't in your life anymore, you've got to know it. Understand that likely all those hookups were just because he wanted to get laid, it's nature. It's not your fault.
There is no magic "Stop" button. You'll just come to terms with it. It's gonna suck. Just don't do anything stupid and focus on you for a while.
>>17263430
Why should women, especially women who don't have a promiscuous past, settle for men who do? Especially when statistically they have a much greater risk for infidelity and failed marriage (which makes sense as you stated these men are the ones with a harder time controlling their over-sexed minds), and are more likely to have incompatible personalities and values?
It would be a very bad move.
