I'm at home, doing chores and baking. I'm a lawyer and I'm bored and a little drunk. Ask me. Keep in mind that I'm from Canada and do mostly family law. If you have a specific legal question, tell me what country you're from.
>>17262612
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
How hard is it to get a new title for a vehicle you paid for if the title holder has not answered the phone for in over a year?
Insurance for the vehicle is in my name.
>>17262623
adding to this, usa
>>17262612
After a couple with a child separates, can the child's primary caregiver just up and move to a different city? What about a different province? What recourse does the other parent have? Canada
>>17262622
>What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
Please. I've heard all the jokes.
It's called "a good start".
How do I avoid responsibility of my wife's son?
>>17262623
>How hard is it to get a new title for a vehicle you paid for if the title holder has not answered the phone for in over a year?
It doesn't matter if you can't get the seller on the phone. Title isn't transferred until it's been signed. I'm sorry if the seller hasn't returned your calls, but in reality title over the vehicle hasn't yet been passed to you. Go see a lawyer or paralegal.
>>17262631
>After a couple with a child separates, can the child's primary caregiver just up and move to a different city
That's a loaded question. Tell me more. If the parent who moved with the child has custody, and has moved to another jurisdiction or province, and the other parent has done nothing for a long time, then that other parent is deemed to be ok with it.
What's going on? I need a lot more info to help you, Anon.
>>17262637
>How do I avoid responsibility of my wife's son?
How old is the child? Is the bio dad in the picture?What country?
What would happen if I call the police reporting a suicide to an address that is not mine but then show up and kill myself?
Here's my best lawyer joke:
A woman goes to the doctor complaining of morning sickness and weight gain. The doctor says that these are typical for a pregnancy. The patient protests, saying she's a virgin.
The doctor runs a pregnancy test anyway. She's with child.
Upon hearing the news, the patient says "that's impossible, I'm a virgin!" The doctor has heard this story before. He sighs, and says "fine, you're a virgin, but have you been engaging in any sexual activity? Maybe you're pregnant by accident."
The patient says "My fiancee and I are saving ourselves for marriage, so we don't have intercourse, anal only." Doctor says "There you have it, that's why."
Patient says "Are you on glue? I can't get pregnant by doing anal!"
Doctor replies "Sure you can, how do you think lawyers are made?"
I know a hundred lawyer jokes. That's the only one. If you have a better one, tell me.
>>17262645
The mother has custody, wanted to move from Montreal to Ottawa with her new boyfriend. Father agreed, and actually moved to Ottawa as well to continue to be close. Sees the child regularly. The following year, the mother tells the father she and her boyfriend are now moving to Kitchener, which is way farther. He said he can't agree to that, and they said they're doing it anyway. It's been a couple of months now, the father and the mother's new boyfriend each drive halfway so he can continue to have her on weekends.
>>17262671
>What would happen if I call the police reporting a suicide to an address that is not mine but then show up and kill myself?
What would happen to you? Nothing, if you were successful in killing yourself.
>>17262685
And if I'm not successful? Would I be apprehended by the athorities? Could I declare insanity in a court of law?
>>17262683
This is complicated, and I don't want to do a consult here on 4chan for obvious reasons. What is your role in this? Have you seen a lawyer irl?
>>17262612
UK here. How does suicide, life insurance and mental health work? Does all life insurance become null when you jump off a bridge?
>>17262687
Eat me.
After that: Eat me.
I charge large to help people so don't abuse my generosity by asking bullshit questions. You're an asshole.
Say you lived in a large urban area with a 15% clearance rate on homicides, a significant current union-directed work-slowdown on the part of police, and a spike in crime. Say you were aware of the location of a serial rapist. Say you had a distant connection to a recent victim, not family/close friend/romantic partner, a clean record, and a position of some respect. Say you killed the guy with a common firearm that you were not known to own. What do you think the chances of getting caught would be provided you were able to leave the scene?
>>17262691
>Does all life insurance become null when you jump off a bridge?
That would depend on the policy, and in my view depend on whether there was a suicide or accidental death due to mental illness.
If the latter, then the policy should pay out. I wish I could tell you more about UK life insurance law but that's way out of my wheelhouse. Go see a lawyer near you if this is legit.
>>17262696
>Say you
Too many hypotheticals. Fuck off.
>>17262612
How accurate is the show Better Call Saul? What is the biggest thing they got wrong about lawyers?
>>17262688
I am not directly involved, I'm a friend of the father's. I totally get that you don't want to do a consult on 4chan. He's a very good friend of mine, but he's also a doormat and I'm not sure that he's doing all he can. I'm just trying to better my own understanding of his situation. Thanks anyway.
>>17262703
Facts of the case
>large urban area with a 15% homicide clearance rate
>8 months into a union-directed work-slowdown on the part of the police department
>current year is the worst for violent crime in a decade
>if I popped a guy with a black market Glock 19 and had only a tenuous, second hand connection to him, what are the chances of being found if I wasn't apprehended on the scene?
>>17262708
>How accurate is the show Better Call Saul?
I have enjoyed that show! The general poverty and low pay for beginning lawyers to try to play by the rules is accurate.
Inaccuracy? Saul would have got a shit reputation among the prosecutors very early and been unable to do much for his clients regarding criminal charge.
I like that he tries to do good. But for whom he's doing good changes, if not his own personal ethics.
>>17262710
>he's also a doormat and I'm not sure that he's doing all he can
You're a good friend. Doesn't he have a lawyer? If he's a doormat then he'll go along with whatever because he assumes that guys can't win in family court, which is wrong. there's a time to stand up for yourself, but you have to know when. This might be the time.
For your own info, mobility issues are very complicated. It depends on many factors, including who has custody, how often father's access is happening, whether he's up to date on his support, and how big are his balls.
Does he want to whine about it? If he wants to get custody of the child then mother's intransience is good evidence. But if he's just trying to moan about her moving then that's different.
If you want to discuss this further, tell me how to reach you privately.
>>17262712
>what are the chances of being found if I wasn't apprehended on the scene?
That depends on what evidence that was left behind which links you to the scene, and whether you have an arguably legitimate motive.
What do you want from me? To tell you that you'll be fine?
I reiterate: fuck off.
>>17262805
I'm talking to the poster privately. I hope that nobody is going to be a faggot and pretend to be me and contact this fella.
>>17262612
Two Questions:
I work as a clerk in a courthouse, and a judge recently told me a story about how an ex-cop he was friends with got picked up for a DUI. Apparently, the ex-cop intentionally got himself arrested before the arresting officer had any probable cause, and eventually all evidence was suppressed and the prosecution dismissed the case. How would this be possible? I don't really do anything illegal, I'm just curious.
Also, there is one attorney that occasionally has cases at our Court, but he is ALWAYS late. Not just by 5 minutes here or there, but he was literally one time where he was an HOUR AND A HALF late for a jury trial. Do judges ever hold attorneys in contempt for behavior like this? Shit is so fucking infuriating.
>>17262918
I read a poll once that ranked clerks as some of the most miserable people with respect to job satisfaction. Is there any truth to this?
>>17262924
Nah, I like my job. I work in a smaller courthouse where everybody sort of shares the workload, so we're not all doing the same shit 24/7/365.
I also imagine a lot of that poll has to do with douchebag attorneys, which do exist, but by far the attorneys we deal with are awesome. Same with the judges. I got invited to the head public defender's christmas party which was fun, and one of the deputy public defenders often brings in baked goods for all the clerks.
Pretty satisfying job, honestly, and that's coming from the guy who handles all the jury stuff so I deal with a disproportionate amount of shit compared to everyone else I work with.
>>17262938
Interesting. Thanks for your perspective.
>>17262612
just wondering can i sue mcdonalds for putting rubber or disgusting fake meat in my chicken sandwich - its a immature question but im being serious.
any advice on where to park for firefly? All the parking passes are sold out and there are no parking decks or airports near by.
I'm in Ontario. If my landlord uses my apartment while I'm still paying for it without my consent and throws away my matress because it has 'bugs' is there anything i can do about it? I suspect he threw out more things i missed in my initial move but i have no proof. It's been about a month since i moved out completely.
Also I'm a total pushover so nothing'll come of it but it still bothers me.
>>17262612
How quickly can I get canadian citizenship with a cs degree and a Venezuelan passport? The US is making me wait 4 years.
I'm from >>17263052 .
How hard would it be to get guaranteed custody of all pets, current and future, in a prenup?
What are the consequences for breaking a prenup?
>>17263256
If you have that worry, I'm not sure you should go on with this.
Being M21 from Finland, what would be my realistic options to legally relocate to the US?
>>17263762
Get a job there beforehand.
