Hello /adv/,
My boyfriend gets extremely upset at me when I tell him that he doesn't love me and that I don't really trust him when he says that. Since I have autism, I don't really understand why it hurts him so much. Can anyone explain why?
>>17262201
>Can anyone explain why?
because telling people what they do or don't feel is condescending and belittling.
>>17262201
>when I tell him that he doesn't love me and that I don't really trust him when he says that
so when your boyfriend does say he loves you you're pissed
>I coerce bf into saying he loves me
>I'm mad when he does
It's like he must be crazy to be mad about emotional blackmail.
>I have autism
yes, yes you do
>>17262209
This. Don't presume to know what someone else is feeling.
That's insulting under any circumstances, but this is even more painful, because you're telling him that whatever he is doing or saying to convey his love for you isn't reaching you. This second part isn't your fault, but it should explain why it hurts him so.
Are you actually diagnosed? Do you have Asperger's under the DSM-IV? Or do you have real autism?
It's very unlikely to have a romantic partner when one has autism. I have a form which is not exactly mild, and I don't even have any friends, let alone romantic partners. Most of my day usually consists of reading graduate and post-graduate texts on mathematics and machine learning, programming small AI programs, as well as shitposting on 4chan and collecting smug pepes.
>>17262307
>>17262307
Yes, and we both have mild autism.
>>17262201
You're oddly articulate for somebody with autism?
Probably very high functioning, or just asp right??
>>17262307
You're projecting your life on hers, don't think she's like you because of "autism"
>>17262354
You don't know shit about autism.
>>17262201
People already told you : to sum it up it shows distrust you have in the own feeling he's doing his best to convey. What I'd advice you is to re-think your question, so that it doesn't implies that you know about his feelings. But you're saying that you both have autism which is weird, since you're showing autism while he doesn't really sound autistic.
>>17262201
>he tells you he loves you
>you tell him he doesnt love you
right there you negate his emotional statement invalidating his commitment and devaluating his emotional investment in your person
if you really have autism here a short analogy with smilys:
>he smiles at you // :D
>you frown as response // :(
what i dont understand is why you(autistic person) think you can evaluate the emotions like love of a other person
>>17262201
You don't have autism. Quit making shit up.
See what I did there? What you're doing is essentially the same thing -telling him he's thinking things that he clearly is not- and that's why it hurts him. I regret illustrating it this way, but you asked for an illustration.
