My girlfriend of a year and a half acts up whenever she thinks I might be talking to one of my good friends who happens to be a girl.
My friend and I both are in committed relationships, and both live in with our SO's.
I don't even try to hide anything, my message notification has a lengthy preview.
What happened today was after work (I work 7a-5p) I was exhausted, so I went to the bed and passed out. She comes home soon after from work, and then begins telling me about her day and everything. My phone buzzes with a notification, and I ask her to look at it for me. She doesn't say anything, but then gets all pissy and begins shutting me out, giving me all sorts of "cryptic" statements about how she should never trust anyone, without even being upfront with me about what it is she's upset about. Tries to blame work, but I know work was great because she was happy until I got the message, which, by the way, was:
>It's pretty hot out here, should've picked a different day to go hiking!
Now she's just telling to me to go away and leave her alone.
What do? I'm annoyed and frustrated because she's one of my only good friends/confidants, and my girlfriend isn't happy about that, but will explain away her giving her coworker that she "doesn't like" a hug when we ran into him at a bar.
>>17262078
girlfriend, yet living with her.
Get engaged you muppet or stop leading the poor girl on.
>moving in with a girl like that
>dating a girl like that at all
Talk to her and be up front. Lay down the rules and expectations. If she can't handle you having your way, bugger off.
>>17262078
She's cheating on you. For a while now. That's why she's paranoid.
>>17262078
>she's one of my only good friends/confidants, and my girlfriend isn't happy about that, but will explain away her giving her coworker that she "doesn't like" a hug when we ran into him at a bar.
What the fuck am I reading
Anyway, your girlfriend is acting really immature, pouting and frying in her own jealousy.
May I suggest that you confront her directly about her behavior and make her tell you how she feels. Accept her explanation, then reassure her that there's nothing to be worried about.
Or you could give her a silent treatment. Just ignore her while she's rambling. I prefer confrontation, though.
Unfortunately you are going to have to talk shit about your friend's appearance. Your girlfriend thinks of your friend as a threat. Next time your friend post a picture that she doesn't look good show the picture to your girlfriend and say something along the lines of " I know this is rude, [insert friends name] is my friend, but she dresses like a dickhead".
>>17262127
I agree with this guy, She can't trust you because she can't herself. Start digging bro...
>>17262089
Just moved in, we're getting comfortable, really, before moving forward. So far it's been great, it's just that there's this jealous streak I don't know how to deal with
>>17262090
I dunno, it's one thing that comes up every couple of months, and is usually done with in a day or so, and literally everything else about the relationships is fantastic. Just that sometimes she gets weird with me.
>>17262129
I confronted her just now, and she admitted that she was being immature and shit, and apologized.
>>17262078
You must, must, must confront her about this. If you don't it will never go away. Even if you stop talking to this friend, your GF will get jealous and paranoid about some other friend.
When you do talk about it, don't come out swinging with shit like "You need to get over your jealousy issues," because a) it'll put her on the defensive right away, which you don't want, because productive conversations don't happen when one person is defensive, and b) there's something you don't know. That's not a criticism! But because your GF communicates so poorly, there is, absolutely, 100% something that's bothering her that she hasn't told you.
Start by asking her questions. Like, for example, "Why don't you like Diane?" or "Do you have some concerns surrounding my friendship with Diane?" (I'm just going to call your friend Diane because it'll be easier if she has a name.) Get her to talk. Listen to her answers. Try to see things from her perspective. This doesn't mean that you should end your friendship with Diane. For fuck's sake, don't do that. It's unfair to Diane, unfair to you, and sets a horrible precedent. But if you understand exactly what your GF's issue is, it'll help you to talk her through it.
It SOUNDS LIKE your GF doesn't trust you. There might be any number of reasons for this; maybe she's been cheated on in the past; maybe her father cheated on her mother; maybe, as >>17262127 said, she's cheating on you. Maybe she's paranoid. Whatever the case is, you need to explain (WITHOUT patronizing her) that she's projecting her shit onto you, and that your relationship can't move forward as long as she's doing that.
Good luck.
