How does one approach a guy in public?
"Hey"
>>17261881
how do I keep that from just falling into an awkward silence immediately?
I've tried including a follow-up question, something with a yes or no, or very simple answer, figuring he'll carry on from there but most of the time the guy will just stare until I go away.
>>17261875
just say hey then give him a broken jaw with a baseball bat
Say something about where you are and what's going on around you. I once started off a conversation with a guy at the zoo when the lion came right up to the glass. All I had to do was say "Wow, it's a lot bigger up close, huh?"
>>17261875
>obtain legs
>learn to use them
>locate target
>approach
If you want a serious answer maybe give context.>>17261906 This anon gets it, you just have to make some bullshit ice breaking crap up, like with anyone else you'll ever meet
>>17261875
>>17261899
Are you ugly?
>>17261875
You don't, unless you want to be labeled a slut forever. Women are supposed to wait until an attractive man approaches them. Patience is a virtue.
>>17261915
90% of the world's population aren't beautiful, anon, it's likely this person isn't the standard for beauty.
>>17261906
This goes for guys trying to make conversation with girls in public too, btw
>>17261906
I once went to a guy in cosplay at a convention and asked whether his hair is natural or a wig, figuring it's a compliment either way. He said it's a wig and glared until I gave up and went away.
>>17261915
Apparently yes.
>>17261919
Just because she's probably not beautiful doesn't mean she's ugly. There's reason to discriminate
>>17261919
Everyone is beautiful in their own way
>>17261927
>asked whether his hair is natural or a wig, figuring it's a compliment either way
uh, no
>your hair is so shit it looks fake
or
>you're bald/have bad hair and are covering with a wig
>>17261942
>you're bald/have bad hair and are covering with a wig
>at a convention
Not OP, but you're fucking retarded if you think that's the implication given the context
>>17261942
The guy looked about my age (18 at the time) and getting your hair to that shade of silver is virtually impossible.
So it was either a really impressive dye job (and a lot of devotion from a guy) or a wig so good you can't tell it's one. It didn't occur to me I'd just insulted all his ancestors to the 18th generation.
>>17261957
guy sounds like a dick. even if a chick is fat and ugly I'm not a complete cunt to them right off the bat
>>17261875
Answer me this: How do i approach you in public?
>>17261986
The first thing would be to be her type. Women always seem to have a type, and it's so often so bizarrely specific that the whole idea of men approaching women first makes absolutely no sense to me.
Pussy is like pizza. If it's not awesome, it's passable.
Men are like sushi. There's no telling where it's coming from or whether it's been handled in ways that make it unsafe.
>>17262001
A woman definitely posted this.
>>17262011
Am I wrong?
>>17261930
That's what's said to cucks, anon. Don't be platitudinous now.
>>17262014
I think you're misunderstanding that as unique to one sex. The same can be said reversed. It depends on the point of view. Also, don't know if you've ever eaten pussy or not but if you had I doubt you'd post that it's always passable
>>17262020
If a random 5/10 girl walked up to you and asked to fuck, would you turn her down?
>>17262027
Uh, yeah. Not like guys don't worry about catching something too. Especially if she's going up to some random guy asking for sex, that's the reddest hue a red flag can be
>>17262034
I'm not talking about diseases here, nimrod. I'm talking about emotions attached to sex.
>>17262044
Are you? I thought you just asked if some random girl asked me for sex would I say yes. The food analogy didn't help either. Maybe clarify your questions a bit? Are you OP?
>>17262050
>>17262044
>>17262034
>>17262027
>>17262020
>>17262014
>>17262011
>>17262001
Not OP, but what the fuck does this have to do with anything?
>>17262044
What? You asked how we'd react if a 5/10 woman asked us "wanna fuq?"...
I agree with >>17262034
Huge fucking red flag. Ask him out on a date, that's fine. Don't ask him to fuck, that's crazy. Have some self respect. Nobody but the thirstiest pigs would accept a random request like that.
>>17262053
>Not OP, but what the fuck does this have to do with anything?
It has to do with everything
>>17262027
There's a literal youtube video about a girl who asks 100 guys for sex, it's by "whatever," she's above average and get's rejected by the majority of guys.
>>17262053
An /adv/ thread is usually only long if it gets derailed.
>>17262050
I'm op, and I used the food analogy because I don't understand why men approach women instead of women approaching men.
Men don't have emotional boundaries about women. If she's kinda passable, kinda pretty, you can get your dick up. If a girl offers herself to you, you're 90% likely down to take it.
90% of pizza is good pizza. If someone offers you pizza, it gotta look EXTRA nasty for you to turn it down.
Women got a type. Women ALWAYS got a type. Adam Driver is an awkward goofy-looking fuck and he's posing shirtless because there's women whose type is awkward goofy-looking fucks. If a guy walks up to a girl, there's like a 10% chance he's her type.
10% of sushi is good sushi. If someone offers you sushi, it's gotta look EXTRA good for you to take it.
And that's why I'm asking how to approach guys *I* like, instead of sitting here crying about how that particular california roll isn't coming for me.
>>17262077
>Women got a type. Women ALWAYS got a type
As a female, I disagree with you. Sure, I generally prefer guys with dark hair or of a certain height range, but I don't have a checklist profile of traits that a guy must have before I'd consider doing on dates with him. Rather, I have a list of things that a guy SHOULDN'T have (i.e. dealbreakers), which every person has, male or female.
>>17262077
Sushi, like for free?
>>17262077
>I don't understand why men approach women instead of women approaching men
Biologically women need to be selective with whom they mate because a child is a major commitment. Men just want to spread their seed everywhere they can
>>17262082
Another femanon checking in, this.
>>17262077
>Men don't have emotional boundaries about women.
All right, I think I see the issue. I can relate, it's hard for me to see people I don't know as really emotional creatures too. Male, female, regardless, you have to understand, you are viewing people like this, and that statement might even be true with some people but I'd say it's the minority. Most people desire an emotional connection with their sex partner. I can't speak for every guy, but I wouldn't want to be with someone I didn't click with too, OP.
That's the reason I've turned down the few girls that have offered to date me. I didn't feel like we'd have much in common. I didn't even think they were ugly, but I had known them as friends for some time before, I got a good feeling of their personalities and decided it wouldn't work. You sometimes have to spend time to gauge people before considering them as relationship material. Keep that in mind, don't just jump into something you're unsure you want to begin with.
But back to the point, what kind of guy is your type? Maybe I can help you with tips based on what you're looking for
>>17262082
You're making it out to sound like women go out of their way to have a type. Like she'll find a guy she really likes but then she realises he's 1/4 heterochromic instead of having fully blue eyes so she can't date him :((((
My type is generally well-groomed fat guys above 5'6, but there was this 6'2 skinny-as-rail goth trans woman at my school that I really wanted to fuck.
I mean, if I could just stop having a type and be able to fuck anyone who wants to fuck me, I wouldn't be lonely. But I can't get myself to be into a dude who's twice my age or has a weird gummy face. I would if I could but I can't.
>>17262084
That is literally exactly my point.
People buying cars are selective of what kinda car they want. People selling cars just want to fucking sell the car.
It would make exactly the same amount of sense for car salesmen to walk up to random people going "hey you wanna buy a car?" instead of waiting potential buyers to come to them.
>>17261875
Share a selfie.
>>17261875
>walk up to him
>grunt 2 times short 1 time long
>then proceed to spit on the floor
>if he grunts back your are now in his clan and can hunt/make war together
>if he doesnt grunt back crush him and see him driven before you, hear the lamentations of his clans women.
its pretty straight forward
>>17262110
>You're making it out to sound like women go out of their way to have a type. Like she'll find a guy she really likes but then she realises he's 1/4 heterochromic instead of having fully blue eyes so she can't date him :((((
Uh, no? I'm saying the opposite of that
>My type is generally well-groomed fat guys above 5'6, but there was this 6'2 skinny-as-rail goth trans woman at my school that I really wanted to fuck.
that's nice. That means that while you have preferences, you're open to other guys too. This isn't in dispute, and men are the same with women. They'll have preferences, but they're open to other women too. What I'm also saying is that both men and women have dealbreakers.
>I mean, if I could just stop having a type and be able to fuck anyone who wants to fuck me, I wouldn't be lonely. But I can't get myself to be into a dude who's twice my age or has a weird gummy face. I would if I could but I can't.
No, that's what I was talking about when I said about dealbreakers. You may just happen to have more dealbreakers than other women.
>>17262110
You misunderstand how the approach works. Usually, the woman gives a sign that she's interested, then the man approaches her, if he wants to.
But some guys can be so attractive that they feel confident, based on experience, which includes overriding "types", approaching pretty much any woman, counting on a high likelihood of success.
>>17262128
Excluding, of course, the socially inept I forgot to mention.
>>17262121
Okay, I'm seeing where we misunderstood each other. I'm still not seeing a solution.
>>17262128
I've been approached by plenty of guys whom I wasn't interested in and whose advances weren't welcome. How do I stop giving the sign?
>>17262136
>How do I stop giving the sign?
grow a beard
>>17262136
Bitch shield.
>>17262136
>How do I stop giving the sign?
>>17262118
>grunt 2 times short 1 time long
>then proceed to spit on the floor
this could work
>>17262136
>I'm still not seeing a solution.
I wasn't offering a solution, I was disagreeing with something you said
>>17262136
As in http://urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bitch%20Shield
>>17262145
I've already shaved my head. That had more to do with giving up a shitty haircut than warding off bad men, but I'd still like to know how to get on speaking terms with good men.
>>17262155
>I wasn't contributing to the conversation, I was just wasting everybody's time
Points for honesty, ho.
>>17262158
>I've already shaved my head
oh... could this be your problem?
>>17262167
Are you suggesting that the sushi analogy that started this all wasn't wasting everyone's time?
>>17262158
You might want to cover your swastika tattoo while you are at it baldy
>>17262176
you really want me to come rip your weave off? The fuck is your problem.
Say something useful or shut the fuck up.
>>17262171
I ain't left the house since I did it. I literally haven't seen a man since I cut my hair.
>>17262182
Have you ever seen a bulldyke buzzcut so bad that being completely bald was an improvement?
I didn't take pictures, for your sake.
>>17262077
>Men don't have emotional boundaries about women.
i'm afraid of women, because i know that they can absolutely wreck me. i can barely talk to most of you, let alone fuck 90% of you. i don't know if this is exactly normal, but i think it's closer to normal than some sociopath wanting to fuck everything without feeling feels
>>17262184
I found your problem, you're a sandy cunt.
>>17262196
I was trying to play nice and get along with you. You were the one who had to go out of her way to be an useless bitch.
>>17262204
>proves you wrong
>suggests that you're the cause of your own problem
>can't handle it so you butthurt
>>17262196
>goes to another skank's thread
>picks a fight with op
>"nobody liked you cause you pick fights"
What the fuck is women's problem.
>>17262218
I'm not wrong, that's the problem.
Have you been diagnosed with anything? Is that borderline or narcissistic?
>>17261875
Well this thread got colorful.
>more to the point
Being blunt about your intentions is the best was of communicating you're feels/wants to men.
>Hey I like you, would you like to grab coffee sometime/[whatever date you want]
>Hey I like you, want to come over my place tonight
Ignore idiots talking about being a slut/ugly/pseudosociopsychology.
>>17262278
jesus christo applogies for the horrible grammar
>>17262278
Can you really do that? Walk up to a complete stranger and ask him out before asking his name?
>>17262293
Absolutely.
Want to know how that would go?
Go ahead and ask me.
>>17262306
That seems omnious.
>>17262313
That my comment made you nervous is exactly why this is somewhat realistic.
Are you too nervous to ask a faceless stranger on a message board?
>>17262322
I'm assuming you're setting me up to some mean joke I somehow can't foresee because of my asperger traits but which becomes obvious in hindsight and I'll hate myself for falling for it.
>>17262337
Asking a guy/girl out exposes to the risk being rejected. It's your fear of this that's holding you back.
I'm an anon. There are many like me. Yet you're scared of me when all I can do post a message.
>>17262337
Jesus, it's obvious you have some sort of disability. It's anonymous, he or she will never know who you are.
Approaching guys is a very dangerous thing especially during the rut. You may be head butted or even mauled to death.
>>17262345
Don't antagonize him/her.
If he/she actually does this it has potential of taking away a fear of rejection.
>>17262341
Then do you want to go for a coffee sometime?
>>17262356
>Hombre looks perplexed
What like a date?
>>17262368
Probably, yeah.
>>17262306
Hey anon, I think I might like you. Wanna go out for some black tea sometime?
>>17262376
>>17262387
Sorry I"m not looking for something like that right now.
>[variants may include violent/hurtful language]
Truth is most guys, like myself, aren't looking to date/sleep with girl/peers because of their personal situation (have gf, work/life balance, insecurities). Be ready to be rejected.
If you can get over that you'll have no problem asking any guy out.
>>17262400
WELL FUCK YOU TOO ASSHOLE I HOPE YOU GET ASS CANCER AND DIE
>>17261875
tell him he has a nice rack. if he says excuse me look down.
>>17262400
Oh, I've been rejected by 100% of the guys I've asked out.
and I regret NOT rejecting every guy who's asked me out.
Mutual attraction is a myth and I refuse to believe it actually happens.
>>17262410
It does, just quite seldom. Insecurity is the prime culprit.
>>17262406
Calm your clam.
>>17262418
So it's one of those need-a-job-to-get-a-car-need-a-car-to-get-a-job -situation?
Why does my life consist exclusively of shit like that?
>>17262410
Mutual attraction isn't something you experience with a stranger, it's something you experience with, say, another student in your lecture. If you want a stranger to experience this you must first get them to notice you, everyones in their own personal bubble.
>>17262441
I'm not in school, and there's nothing I can do to catch the attention of guys at my workplace.
How do you get strangers to notice you enough to want to keep contact?
Contrary to popular belief, pulling your panties down and saying "Ayyyy, stick it in here", will not get you any guy you want.
Personally, I find women who approach my suspicious as fuck.
Always fucking check my wallet afterwards.
If there is one thing I've learned over the years, it's that I'm a 'creep'. Interactions with women aren't welcome.
So if one is coming to me?
That's a pretty fucked-up thing happening.
I'm gonna be wary as fuck about you.
Specially if you've shaved your head and went dyke-mode. Shit would scream 'false rape allegation', 'man-hating feminist who'll chop my dick up', 'psycho murderer', 'strap-on rape' kinda shit.
They key to getting people, is trust. Being a comforting presence so that they are willing to open up to you. Shit's what sociopaths do, everyone loves a sociopath.
And like me, bitch, you just don't give off a 'safe' vibe.
You're a lady-'creep'.
>>17262430
>need-a-job-to-get-a-car-need-a-car-to-get-a-job
wat
There are guys willing to date any average girl they can find. Its just a low %.
Keep in mind that it's almost universally know that there are more guys than girls ready to date the first average looking stranger.
>>17262457
>check my wallet
trust issue m8
>And like me, bitch, you just don't give off a 'safe' vibe
you don't know that
Men do creep people out because it's popular belief the're primarily driven by lust when talking up women.
>>17262457
Well, I'm sorry for the bull-dyke get-up but trying to dress all cute moe girly girl literally makes me want to kill myself.
I don't know what else to do.
>>17262450
notice =/= will ask you out
you could walk around being hyper flirty, men will assume you want attention not someone to ask you out
>>17262478
As little as I know the proper terminology, I just want to curl up next to someone nice to sleep.
I don't know how to get to that point.
>>17262489
Men aren't likely to think a shaved woman is into men, how do you dress?
>>17262500
>>17262489
Some men don't care how women dress. I wouldn't mind dating a bald who wears sweatpants 24/7/52 because I'm shallow enough to only care about her body (how fit she is)
>I don't know how to get to that point.
There's this thread on /adv/. It's about how to ask guys out.
>>17262477
Hey, don't apologise for who you are, if that's the kinda shit you like then that's the kinda shit you like.
I was just saying why I wouldn't trust you.
Do you see me apologising for being a 'creep'? Fuck no, no point. It's just who I am (and believe me, I've tried everything to change it). I aint gonna apologise for being me, and neither should you.
Besides, it's probably for the best that you aren't being fake, because if you do get a guy and he finds out you aren't really like that?
Shit could get fucked up.
You have to understand though, one womans 'Why won't he man up and ask me out?' is anothers 'OMG I was just being friendly, CREEP?' so guys are naturally more hesitant these days.
Throw in the fact that recent generations have been raised to believe all strangers are dangerous, communicate 60% through screens and taught that 'all men are sex crazed pigs' and you've got a recipe for some very distant, stand-offish men with pretty shite communication skills anyway.
So even if you approach them, they aren't gonna know how to react, and as the approacher, they'll expect you to take the lead in the conversation.
>>17262500
Hoodies, t-shirts with prints on them, and now that it's summer, sandals and cargo shorts. It's practical and comfortable and I can't stand the feeling of skirts or dresses.
>>17262509
This.
Thanks for voicing the details about male insecurities that arise in this situation.
That being said not all guys have these issues, or they won't be triggered if you're friendly enough.
>>17262519
So basically do the thing where big dogs crawl on their belly to come say hi to little dogs so they won't get scared and would want to play?
>>17262543
Strangely good way of putting.
Gotta love doggos.
>>17262543
I suppose.
>>17262546
How do I apply that to people?
What can a girl do in order to be as unthreatening as possible without being unappealing?
>>17262549
>There's this thread on /adv/. It's about how to ask guys out.
Apologies for obnoxiously quoting myself.
It's not complicated, you are woman.
You have to unparalyze yourself from fear/anxiety.
Yes I do realize this like telling someone with depression to knock it off.
You want more out of this thread? Talk about why you think you're scared.
>>17262549
Do what pedophiles do.
Groom the shit out of them until they're comfortable with it.
Not even joking. That's literally how they do it, carefully, over time easing the other person into it till it just seems normal as fuck and then they escalate.
Basically do that. Find a guy you like that you'll be within proximity to over a period of time. Start small, maybe a smile or a wave one day.
A "hi" the next.
Until you're having a full blown conversation.
Then make psychical contact. Touch his arm or his shoulder.
Give him a nudge.
Gradually increase it frequency of touching.
Then get more intimate, like a hug.
You get the idea.
>>17262549
Could you answer the fellows in
>>>17262316
might help you document male behavior
>>17262572
>Find a guy you like that you'll be within proximity to over a period of time.
This is the thing that will not be an option.
My social circles do not contain men. Obtaining one is not an option. There is nothing I can do about the guys at work.
There is a convention in a city nearby on saturday. My hopes have been on finding someone there.
How do I do that?
>>17262592
What mental blocks do you have? Why are you asking to be babied through everything? You realize that we will never have the actual answers, you'll have to figure out how to interact by yourself or it won't be genuine.
>>17262606
This
>>17262592
Can't do anything about your social situation. Was tl;dr for me anyways.
>>17262606
Maybe this is the closest thing to emotional support and benevolent human interaction that I have access to?
>>17262592
You're straight up asking for a hook-up then?
Go to a bar and flash your tits, go home with the first guy that compliments them.
You don't just meet someone and then be all like "Hey you're my bf/gf now". It's not a one-day job.
Look, you go there, give out your number to whatever guy you manage to talk to, chances are, he'll flake and not call you.
He's got his own shit going on, probably already like some other girl, basically everything else in his life will take precedence over calling you.
You'd straight up need to give out your number to multiple men and hope the law of averages kicks in and one of them calls WITHOUT the assumption that you'll just be an easy lay.
If you can't gradually ease into it with some subtlety, then it's gonna be alot tougher for you. Your best bet is to create some situation in your life where you'll be in proximity to a man you like over time.
Maybe join a club or something, or a gym. Go there regularly and just do the whole 'ease them in' thing till they're comfortable with you.
>Maybe join a club or something, or a gym
/adv/ for both(all) genders
>>17262626
The closest thing possible is one forklift driver I see once in a blue moon in the coffee room. He's civil but not friendly.
I work a 3-shift job and my shifts are very unpredictable. How do you maintain a social hobby around that?
>>17262636
>I work a 3-shift job and my shifts are very unpredictable. How do you maintain a social hobby around that?
How do you expect a relationship around that?
>>17262649
Sometimes, people have time off in the afternoons. 30% of the time, I do too.
Believe it or not, not being loved is a fairly large emotional strain on a person and I'd prefer to have at least some hope, even false one, that it's temporary.
>>17261875
Flash tits.
/thread
>>17261875
Good job on having a systematic assesment of your situation. A lot better than some of those replying.
Secondly: definitely fuck naysayers' opinions. These are not only hurtful, but in practice actually worthless, offering nothing constructive or useful. We, your socially inept advisors, at least give you options you can try out or select from.
And why bother trying to conform to some arbitrary stereotypes some random people on the internet or (or otherwise) think you should conform to in the first place? If you're comfortable with yourself - which it sounds like you are. And fucking don't apologise for that either.
This "advise" is not universal, obviously, but in your case the logic of your approach is sound, so def stick to it, imo.
Yeah, also, no need imitating moe girly girl type or any other suchlike shit. Ppl who are into that are strictly into appearances anyway and it's a waste of effort, to be playing pretend for someone else's sake; unless it's something you want to do for your own feel good. And then there is the issue of befriending somebody while being in a guise and then having to keep the guise up to keep the relationship going. Plenty peeps do it, sure, but why try to be liked for something other than what you are naturally? YMMV in regard to all I say, but, you know...
/my incoherent mini rant
Something you didn't mention and surprisingly no one asked, but a pretty important aspect are the desired personality traits of potential targets. Because these will be more important in determining the best approach methods than, say, body type. Thinking about that can probably help you come up with ways of catching the attention of that specific group.
Either way, you CAN approach someone and tell them that you're interested in getting to know them because you thought they look interesting. I think, guys will actually be more open to be approached in this manner, though this is a common tactic for guys approaching unfamiliar girls. TLDR TBC
>>17261917
Would this fucking die forever? There is no reason in existence a woman should be seen as a slut for playing the game fair.
>>17262082
>I dont have a type except for the one I'm explaining right now. That one doesn't count.
Wow, femanons. Just wow.
To the OP, as an ex-slut male, it shouldn't be hard to get any guy talking. Most of the time, men see women as no threat, so there's no worry unless you pick at something specifically about him, like said silver haired guy.
If you would have asked "how did you make your hair look great?", Instead of if it was a wig, you would have had a much better response.
Guys are also usually resistant to compliments about themselves rather than their actions, see above. It's about saying something about what he did or is doing, not something he has or wears. No offense, but that's more of a vanity type thing that girls worry about.
>>17263036
In fact, the same methods guys resort to to start a relationship will work for you.
Have non-pressuring conversation to introduce yourself and acquaint the guy with the idea of interacting with you, ask for phone number, saying you'd like to meet again. The usual. Some guys have fragile egos, so be gentle with that, just in case, if you're into that sort.
Your looks will play a large factor in your rate of success, yes - and if they are on the lower end of the spectrum you will have to suffer through more initial rejections, but that's pretty common-sense. "Suffer" because as it is nlcurrently believed, social and romantic rejection agitates the same regions of the brain as does physical pain, so the "agony" in fact is not made up. Lol. So, be prepared to wade through that just in case.
But actually, as guys are actually less guarded than girls, when comes to being approached by strangers of the opposite sex, statistically, you should be doing ok.
Depending on what the individuals you choose find attractive.
This is a very blunt approach, but also it's straightforward and intrinsically honest. And, I think, people worth getting to know would appreciale this kind of honesty anyway.
>>17262229
Don't try to understand women.
Women understand women and they hate each other.
>>17263057
Agreed.
>>17262319
>eats a grub
Huh? Snails are carnivores?
>>17261875
>How does one approach a guy in public?
don't be ugly or desperate.
>>17263097
Oh I do understand them. That's why I don't like them.
>>17263117
It's just people, guys and girls alike. It's hard to find anyone you'd really want to keep around forever, and when you do, they're the "always busy" type.
>>17263087
I just want to quote myself to bring this into question. For guys, it's easy to compliment their actions to get their attention, and saying something about them physically is usually foreign. My question would be what to say to women? I've had negative to null responses from both, and it seems as though women in my area don't want to be complimented at all or probably get it so much, it's annoying. What would a guy to do if just talking is a problem? Don't talk?
>>17263126
Yep, people who have going something in their lives which makes them interesting are usually busy.
>>17263036
Alright...
Considering most of my issues, a soft, submissive kind of a guy would be ideal.
>>17261881
>hey, you wanna see somthin
REAL HUMAN BEING
>>17263264
But that can only be followed by taking a live hedgehog out of your purse.
Take 'em by surprise.
>>17262229
Women are retarded
>>17263448
The hedgehog thing would be enough to seduce me tho.
