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So me and my ex of 3 years parted ways a year ago, which was for the best for the both of us. We were incompatible in terms of where we were in our lives, maturity, sexually and maybe even personality wise. Both felt like shit at the end of the relationship and the decision to split up was mutual. I broke off any contact after we split up and though I glanced at her tumblr a couple of times during the first 6 months, we didn't speak.

We had a conversation over facebook 6 months ago when we had seen each other in the city and now when I got back from the city my college is in, I found her on Tinder. I had thought about her somewhat frequently during the last 6 months and had this urge to talk to her so I super liked her and we started talking on facebook again.

However, I come from a history of insecurity and I feel that I'm not gravitating towards her personality in order to get back together out of love, I just want her to like me. I get this sharp pain of anxiety in my stomach when it takes her a day to reply which I know has nothing to do with me wanting her badly - sometimes I even feel empty when I get her response. She had physical issues that lowered her sex drive to a 0 which caused a lot of the problems causing us to split up, and I felt rejected sexually by her. I realize that I yearn for her because I've put my own sense of self worth in her hands (perhaps due to the time when I was rejected sexually by her), but I don't know how to let go of the feeling of wanting to interact with her.

She is also the most attractive girl I've ever been with and perhaps even seen in some aspects, so this surely has something to do with why I feel like I do too.

TLDR - I miss my ex of 1 year due to insecurity and I want her to want me more than I actually want her back