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Anonymous
2016-06-16 03:24:46 Post No. 17259365
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Anonymous
2016-06-16 03:24:46
Post No. 17259365
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Hi /adv/,
I need help with my sexual impulses.
I'll start at the beginning: I discovered masturbation at a very early age (maybe 9 or 10 years old?) and did it frequently. There was a point where I would do it four to six times a day. This carried on until high school when I eventually cut back to maybe once or twice a day, sometimes going a day or two without it. With this came the need for porn to achieve a better climax every time.
The whole situation is almost like using gateway drugs. I started with "normal" porn, then I needed weirder and weirder stuff to have equivalent experiences.
I am now in college and drift in and out of the habit, but I'm on the down slope right now...
It's to the point where I'm worried that my impulses will lead me to looking at something illegal. It's one of my greatest fears. I have accidentally stumbled upon POTENTIALLY illegal images (no source or information so I had no way of confirming legality) that satiated my need for erotic material. It scared me because I wasn't appalled. I've become so desensitized. For the record, I do not deliberately search for illegal porn and did not explore further after the aforementioned instance.
I can't keep living like this. I'm always paranoid about getting an email or a phone call that I'm being investigated for viewing illegal images. It's a problem I don't want to have. It has affected my view of certain people and has driven me to act upon my impulses in ways I do not wish to disclose. I never hurt anyone and hopefully never will, but I'm not happy with my current trajectory.
Any advice would be appreciated.
