My girlfriend is dead broke. She owes around $1,400 on her house in about 11 days or it'll go up for public sell to the highest bidder.
She works as a fee lancer and has been gone for quite some time (long distance) trying to break even but hasn't been able to do so.
Today is the first time I've seen her since she's been back and turns out she has a $1,400 payment to her house in 11 days or she'll lose it.
I feel like if she lost the house it'd be the end of our relationship as her mom lives in a different state and she'd probably move in with her which is no where near me.
I could pay the $1,400 cause I have a good job. She hasn't asked me to help her. Should I?
If she owns a house, she technically isn't dead broke, she has an asset.
It's up to you whether you want to pay her the money. If you do lend her it, make sure it's clear that it's only a loan, but also make sure that you're in a position that if she doesn't pay it back, you won't miss the money. Also make sure that this is a one-off - that this isn't going to continue happening month to month.
>>17256371
>If she owns a house, she technically isn't dead broke, she has an asset.
Which is mortgaged against the home loan, which is a liability - potentially giving her a net worth of nil.
>>17256365
I would say it depends on the strength of your relationship. She's been gone for a long time and if you pay it, how will she manage with next month's payment? You're setting a precedence where she may expect other financial handouts during hardships and she'll become bitter in instances where you don't help.
>>17256383
>Which is mortgaged against the home loan, which is a liability - potentially giving her a net worth of nil.
Yeah, but the equity in there is hers. If she put say, $20k in as a deposit, she still has that $20k, it's just tied up in the property (subject to mortgagee sale fees and whatnot).
>>17256387
Only if the property increased in value. Did it?
>>17256393
>Only if the property increased in value.
What? That's not right. The mortgagee is only entitled to recover what the mortgagor couldn't pay off. If she paid off 75% of the mortgage then defaulted, then the mortgagee only gets 25% of the money they get from the mortgagee sale, for example. The remaining 75% goes back to the mortgagor.
>>17256393
Yes but slightly. She bought a worn down house and has done slight work to it. It's better than it was a year ago when she bought it.
>>17256383
>>17256371
I actually borrowed her money in the past. She paid me back a few hundred on what I loaned her but still in the process of paying back the rest. I spent a bit on her water heater and she paid majority of that back to me. But recently something else broke in her house and I had a repair man come fix it and paid that. She said she was going to pay me back this weekend in full for that (which made sense given the income she was suppose to get this weekend) but now she just got this letter.
She has a history of paying me back when I loan her money but this is the biggest thing that came up yet.
Right now she's looking through her phone to see who she can borrow from. She still hasn't asked me to borrow her the money since I just spent the cash to repair something in her house a few days ago.
Immsort or letting it play out to see if anyone she's contacting will follow through.
I'm laying low and not saying anything. But sill $1,400 isn't much to me but I don't want her to become dependent on me bailing her out.
I don't want her to lose the house though.
I'll reply as I can. I don't want her seeing me post this nearby hers
>>17256412
>But sill $1,400 isn't much to me but I don't want her to become dependent on me bailing her out.
>I don't want her to lose the house though.
Could you lend her half or something?
Loaning money to your girlfriend is a bad idea. Try suggesting that she move in with you.
>>17256412
The value of the house is largely determine by sale prices of other houses in the same community, not just improvements.
>>17256412
>>17256436
The value of the house isn't exactly relevant to OP's issue
>>17256419
I'll see in the next few days what the situation is. Half is a good idea. I won't say shit tonight.
>>17256422
She suggested I buy a house. I'm currently renting even though I could have my own place. Doing it to save money. I don't know if she'd move in win me as she seems like she wants to buy run down houses, fix them up and rent them out.
I'll text as I can.
>>17256365
C U C K
U
C
K
>>17256438
heh, true.
>>17256412
She sounds trustworthy enough but as a rule, only give her money that you're prepared to not get back.
> I don't want her to become dependent on me bailing her out.
Then make this dead clear to her. To be honest it sounds like she is already kinda dependent on you financially.
However, if she always pays you back as soon as she can, and you can afford to lend her money, then this doesn't have to be a major issue.
>>17256365
You can suggest her to to work in a strip club, she'll make that much in no time.
Camwhoring would be safer but not as many returns IMO.
>>17256365
Where do you live that being late on a payment results in an instant loss of her home? If she's been late for such a long time that it's going to go into foreclosure in 11 days, why the fuck isn't she trying to refinance or sell the property off? Why hasn't she tried renting out rooms yet? Why hasn't she gotten a second job so she has some sort of steady income? Has she talked to the lender about an extension on the foreclosure if she lists it for sale?
I would be really hesitant to bail her out or even to keep her as a girlfriend because apparently she's fucking stupid and if she can't take care of this, in the long run she is just going to drag you down with her.
>>17256387
>>17256399
This depends a lot on local law. You're assuming that by law foreclosure involves something like a trustee sale where the lien holder only gets the portion they are owed. In many places though, the mortgage contract will state that in the case of default, the lender repossesses the property in full. This is no different than something like an auto loan where the lender can (and will) repossess the vehicle even if 99% of the vehicle has been paid for and the borrower misses the last payment. But yeah, >>17256393 is clueless.
>>17256439
Offer to lend her everything she needs or don't lend her anything at all. What's the fucking point of giving her half if she still can't cover her note? Insist on a written IOU with a repayment deadline (be generous on that) and insist that she do something to take care of this clusterfuck. That includes talking to her lender's loss mitigation people to try to work something out (if she hasn't done so already) and listing the home for sale. Hell, if she actually works to be responsible about it, after getting out from under this bullshit I'd tear up the IOU and I'd let her know that this is what I'm willing to do. (This assumes that you really can afford to just throw money away.)
>>17256622
So you're saying she can get back her downpayment in full?
>>17256441
End your life swiftly
Sorry for the slow responses. I think the bill has something to do with the tax of her house. She hasn't paid her tax so now they are after her house.
To the other anon. She has been renting the place out and has been making an income through it. She used the rent to pay off repairs for the house and to make improvements to it.
Earlker in the night she told me she's going through her phone to see who she can and cannot ask money to borrow from. I didn't say anything as it was implicitly implied she couldn't borrow money from me since I already borrowed her money. She's been acting oddly all night. She's been getting in and out of bed frequently. She's been mumbling to herself and put a towel over her face (usually does that to block sun light). At one point of the night she got up; checked her phone and then wrapped her towel over her head as she was texting someone for some time. It's like 2am so I didn't bother checking with her what she was doing.
She seems In a terrible mood and I detect she could potentially be explosive. She has another potential tenant stopping by that wants to stay long term today but she's renting the place so cheap the rent wouldn't immediately cover the 1,400.
I'm still at lost when I should butt in. at this point I don't know if any of her friends agreed to help her or not. Even though she hasn't been rude to me she seems like she could be volatile
>>17256868
Maybe, maybe not. Given that OP has written exactly zero about the financial situation except that she "owes around $1400" that's due in 11 days, how would I know?
>>17256957
Well no shit she's under stress. She might not want to ask you for the money, but you can believe that she'd like you to volunteer it. Honestly, how the fuck did she not realize that she owed back taxes and that ignoring this wasn't going to make it go away? Maybe she just neglected to budget for it (which is still foolish) but has everything else under control, and if you're willing to lend it to her then I guess do it.
If it were me, I would assume that her finances are more fucked up than just "forgetting" about this tax bill. I would want a written IOU and I would want her to show me that she's going to be capable of repaying me instead of constantly going deeper and deeper into debt every month and continuing to need to reach into my wallet to bail herself out.
If you're willing to make the offer, I would term it as "I know you didn't ask me, but I'm willing to lend you the money you need if you're willing to go over your finances with me." What you want to see is her actual budget and whether or not she can realistically afford to have this house, because if she keeps going further and further into debt every month, she needs to figure out a solution or sell the house.
Expect that if you have to get involved in her finances that you're not going to remain a couple for long. Women who can't take care of their shit seem to be culturally conditioned to think that they are entitled to having someone else take care of it for them. Entitled female logic runs along the lines of "well if you really loved me like you say you do, since you have extra money, you'd give it to me because I want it."
No, you stupid cuck
Is she goodlooking?
Asking $200 an hr for a goodlooking girl is possible.
Maybe you've got some male friends who have crushed on her who are willing to pay more and go bareback.
>>17257165
She doesn't have a good way to pay off her debt. She has proven this to me by just being with her after about a year. The only income she gets is occasional freelancing, rent, and that's it. She may be getting a new job but that depends if they liked her during the interview.
I spole with her last night and she doesn't expect me to help her. I told her I'd be willing to help her a little and she said ok we'd talk about it this morning. I have to work so probably have to bail before I do.
I had loaned her $250 separately to pay off something else and planned to tell her to not use that for what I initially gave it for and is add another $250 to it.
The $250 was to pay off a friend she owed and she was going to pay me the $250 back this weekend with the tenant that's paying for this month.
I don't expect to get the $500 back which is already on top of around $800 she owes. In total id have loaned her around $1300 and she has been paying me off on the $800.
I will tell her I can't lend anything else and if something else comes up I have to tell her no. I regret even opening my mouth last night as she seriously didn't expect me to pay anything
>>17257205
She is very good looking. I bet she'll find enough guys willing to lend her money. But don't know since she has a history of using all her friends for loans. That's why she was looking through her phone last night to find anyone that would give it to her. As said in another post I'm willing to give her $250 on top of a $250 i recently venmo'd her (which was to pay off a friend, and she was going to pay that back this weekend with the money she'd get from the tenant).
It's her choice if she wants to actually use the other $250 to pay her friend off or not but I'm willing to lose $500 total on this situation.
I already borrowed her other money. I don't remember exactly how much without checking my spreadsheet (which has everything and full blown descriptions), but believe it is around $750-800 ball park range. So adding $500 more puts her at around $1300.
I'm not willing to lose anymore on her than this. Already loaned a family member around that much and I no longer want to be seen as the safety net guy.
This is an exception because it has major implications with my relationship with her. If she loses the house she probably will never be in this area ever again and will move back with her mom. I don't even think we'd be together at that point due to the distances.
Now that I write that I might be willing to do more than $500 but I don't know.
This thing is s fucking mess
>>17257383
>using all her friends for loans
>>17257383
She needs to sell or pawn shit. Simple as that.
Additionally, she needs to sell the house asap. Her freelance lifestyle isn't cuttingnit
>>17257355
>>17257383
This pretty much sums up the type of person she is. She uses people and she doesn't really care that much about working or making an effort to pay them back. I mean fuck, why isn't she out there waiting tables or whatever shit job she can get between these freelance gigs that obviously aren't paying enough to support her expenditures.
and >>17257205 is a troll suggesting she prostitute herself for money.
Is she giving you ANYTHING in writing that she'll pay you back? If so, why not? I don't know that I'd be willing to let someone I cared about lose their house for $1400, but I'd also stop being stupid about continuing to essentially give money to someone so irresponsible.
>>17257438
I wouldn't make her sign anything in writing she'd owe me anything back. I'm simply not going to loan her more than I am willing to lose. At this point I'm willing to loan her $500 and she'll have to figure out where to find the other $900 in 10 days. If she absolutely can't find it then I may pay the $1,400 but it'd be the last thing I'd loan her.
For now. I'll just tell her $500 is the best I can do.
I sent her $250 yesterday and told her this morning to not spend it on her other debt to keep it. Then plan to give her another $250.
>>17256365
The acid test for making any sort of loan to anybody:
Are you prepared to consider it a gift and walk away not expecting repayment?
If so, call it a loan and tell her you want it repaid. But be sure you can accept the possibility that it won't be, and that this will affect your relationship.
