I'm starting to get the sense that my boyfriend isn't into me physically anymore.
He told me the other day that he is in love with my personality and that he could never find anyone else with a personality like mine. He's raised the idea of marriage a few times. The problem is, our sex life has dwindled significantly and I have to practically beg him for sex. I tried to bring it up with him and he'll come up with an excuse like he's just tired - but he'll jerk off to porn all the time. He will often compliment my personality but pretty much never comment on my looks.
I know I'm not hot but I think I'm fairly attractive in a "cute" way. Before this I didn't really doubt my attractiveness but now my self-esteem is really going down. Should I be worried/what should I do?
Post pic of yourself
>>17255941
Would you mind posting a picture of yourself for advice sake?
Dump him for a real man.
>>17255941
We need a picture of you to help you.
>>17255945
>>17255952
>>17255962
Nice try, I'm never posting a picture of myself on 4chan.
It's not terribly relevant anyways.
Have you changed your appearance in any way? Have you tried a more aggressive approach or even just tried to figure out if there's anything he'd be into that you haven't tried yet?
>>17255941
hand cuff hiim to the bed while he's sleeping and stand over him with some hot as lingerie on and a whip and demand sex
if he refuses lock his penis in a chastity belt until he's ready to goo in your vagoo
>>17255970
Well there you have it. You're probably objectively ugly.
Are you rich? Does your boyfriend want a Greencard?
If he jerks off too porno he actually doesn't like to have sex with you anymore, the point is finding the cause behind this
>>17255941
Are you fat now?
Remember lying will only make things worse.
>>17255974
My appearance has changed over time - I have gained a bit of weight (10 lbs). It's enough that it's noticeable but I've been trying really hard to get it down and it's been working. Do you think he could be turned off that much because of the weight? We've talked about it because he used to tease me about the extra pounds but I didn't think it was that big of a deal...
>>17255975
I do wish I could do this.
>>17255979
I may not be super attractive, I'm certain I'm not ugly. I've gotten compliments from strangers and sometimes strangers will joke about how lucky my boyfriend is to be with someone who looks like me. So let's operate under the assumption that I'm pretty decent looking.
I'm not rich and no he doesn't want a green card.
>>17255981
Yeah, I just wonder if it's reversible? Can I ever get his desire back or is it permanently wrecked?
>>17255984
Not fat - but leaning towards the chubby side. When we first started dating he said he is really into curves. I am a bit heavier now than when we first started dating.
>>17255990
I honestly doubt that amount of weight would be a huge deal to him, if all the other aspects of your relationship are going as well as you say or more accurately as well as you think they are.
It could be about him having doubts about your relationship and doubling down on it with talks of marriage because he feels bad and still cares about you a great deal. But he can't lie to his penis like he can lie to himself. How was your sex life before then? Is there something he may be self conscious about himself that could be causing it? There are so many reasons that this could be going on. As is usually the case, the best thing to do is talk to him. I know you tried but you've got have this discussion before it becomes a bigger problem in the future. But don't be a bitch about it either, just let him know how much you miss that part of your relationship and that you're willing to try to help fix whatever is preventing that.
>>17255981
This is blatantly false. I jerk off to porn about 2 times a week and still think my gf is attractive and want to fuck her. Sometimes she's not around and I'd like to nut, simple as that.
>>17256011
Yeah but the fact is that he just jerk off to porno and nothing more
>>17255941
Anymore?
Were you guys really that sexually active at the beginning?
And I don't think your weight has anything to do with the way he looks at you, if I had to give it a guess (since I don't know your boyfriend's personality) maybe he feels in power because you are begging for sex and he pretty much can satisfy himself with porn, so he can certainly last longer without it.
If that is the case, you should totally do something about it, speak with him.
>>17256008
Our sex life when we first started was okay, but weird. I had a condition where I thought it was impossible for me to have sex...but he coached me through it and then we had sex all the time! Once every time we met. I don't think he's self-conscious...if anything he's more self-confident than ever.
I do want to discuss it but he keeps deflecting it and saying he does find me attractive just that he feels differently than he used to. He loves me more now but doesn't want sex much (however he continues to watch porn...). It just makes me feel so inadequate and I don't know what to do or if it's possible to fix.
>>17256033
It took a while for us to have sex (I was a virgin) but once we did we had sex whenever we could, which was basically once a day if we were lucky. He was the one who used to be more into it than me! Then over time he wanted it less and less and now I'm the one who's desperate for it.
You may be right about power...I actually found he's more likely to fuck me if I say I'm not interested or if I resist him. It's weird.
Were you his first? If yeah maybe he's gay or got weird sexual fetish e didnt have before and is shy about it.
>>17256070
I was not his first, he's had several other girlfriends before me. However, I was the first girlfriend he ever had sex with (his other times he had sex were one-night stands).
I am completely open about fetishes and asked him to tell me his, but he insists there is nothing that turns him on aside from normal sex. It's a bit disappointing.
>>17256067
Kek. Tell him you're getting a dildo instead then. Start locking the door and getting off by yourself like he does. Once he realizes you're capable of getting sexual satisfaction without him, he'll no longer be in a position of power.
Or just talk to him about it. Say you're uncomfortable and have noticed he's more interested if you play hard to get. And that you don't want to be married and have to play games to get sex. He might not be seeing it that way, and this could be a wake up call.
Why are you staying with him? Because he's your first? Me being a guy I can clearly tell you that NO guy would chopse porn over real woman. For god sakes we can even fuck woman we hate just to get off.
>>17256097
Speak for yourself.
Also how old are you two OP?
Libido naturally drops with age but most likely this isn't the problem since you're probably both less than 40 years old.
>>17256067
It is possible to fix? That really depends how is your boyfriend, sometimes people just follow a role because they feel more secure that way, BUT if he is like that because he is indeed like that than there's much left to do.
I still say you should speak with him, everything you are telling us in this thread is what you should be telling to your boyfriend, seriously, if your boyfriend has just a little bit of concience then he will actually do something about it to make you feel better, but if he is just a jerk, then I do not know what are you fighting for.
TL;DR: Speak with him.
By the way, can I ask you how he coached you to have sex for the first time? Like what did he tell you or what were you feeling, etc... I actually need a bit of advice for a situation like that.
>>17256143
Thanks I'll just speak with him. I think it will be better for the two of us to be on the same page about these things.
The best thing he ever said was to let me take control and that I needed to be vocal about pain. He said to pretend he was just a tool to make myself feel better. It helped me be a lot more self-conscious and get over my pain enough to begin enjoying it (before I had been too focused on his pleasure and that had caused me too much pain).
Does that help at all? I don't know the details of your situation.
>>17256087
That sounds fun, but I don't necessarily want to manipulate him.
I finally talked with him about it and it got some things cleared up.
>>17256097
I want to be with him because his personality is a perfect fit with mine and I'm pretty certain I'll never meet someone this great again. People tell us we're the best couple they've ever seen.
>>17256142
We are 24. I don't know why his libido would be low at this age!
Is he on medication or drinking excessively?
>>17256477
His libido isn't low, he jerks off to porn. You ugly.
>>17256487
No to both...doesn't like drinking and doesn't take medication.
Well I just talked to him. He says that he just hasn't had much desire at all lately, even for porn. I think it's a bit strange since we're so young.
He said he doesn't know how to make himself excited. But he said we should work on it together so we'll try our best.
>>17256648
Is there any chance he's depressed? Just in case you're unaware, depressed people don't usually seem sad, more listless and unmotivated. Depression, stress and insecurity are far and away the biggest libido killers for men, and of course one can often accompany the others.
>>17255996
>leaning towards the chubby side
Hey chubvader use the force to take off some of those pounds and get back to the thin side
>>17255941
Literally post a picture of yourself and we can tell you right off the bat if he's not attracted to you or if it's something else
All guys are the same
>>17256661
Hmm you know I don't think of him as "depressed" but now that you say it there are so many things in his life stressing him out, that could be causing him to become depressed. I should follow up with him on this, even though I'm not sure the best way for me to help.
>>17256684
By my money that's what it is, then. The best thing to do is to talk to him about it, ask if there's anything either of you can do to reduce his stress load, and if he asks for a chance to think about it then give it to him, but do pursue it later. Obviously try and be sympathetic and helpful, not accusatory, but if he's evasive and doesn't want to talk about it, it wouldn't be out of line for you to point out that it's starting to damage the relationship.
>>17256748
Thank you, I will definitely follow up with him on that. I hope I can pull him out of his funk. This has been really helpful!
femanon is retarded.
if you dont want to post your pic gtfo.
not like we're gonna save your pic and jerk off to it 3 times a day lmao. gtfo
/thread
