Girlfriend problems

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Anonymous
Girlfriend problems 2016-06-14 12:52:09 Post No. 17254443
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Girlfriend problems Anonymous 2016-06-14 12:52:09 Post No. 17254443 [Report]

I've recently found out that my girlfriend thinks we haven't been spending enough time together, our love life has been on the decline qnd in general she has not been happy for a few months. We have been living together for 6 months and been together 3 years. She is a very sensitive girl and when it comes down to things like cheating she would go as far to say speaking to another girl would be cheating.
She had met a guy from work a while a go and I found out today - instantly assuming she has been cheating . She explained to me yesterday how upset she is all what's wrong etc and we are starting from today to amend it , however I found her snap chatting another guy because I'm a snoop and had suspicions. Seems to be just flirty messages and council img kind of thing so I brought it up with her and her response is that she has been confiding in him to talk as he's in a similar situation - and that the furthest it's got is flirty which doesn't mean anything but basically that he's helped her and given her advice saying she should do this or that to make our relationship better.

Am I wrong to instantly think she's cheating , she insists she is not and is devastated that something like this could end it ... All the same I love you stuff.
From her view if I did that with a girl she would almost undoubtably break up with me, and shed consider it cheating and this is where my problem is -

Do I break up with her, is she lying ? How do I know that if I stayed with he she wouldn't keep speaking to him or think about him... She insists she only wants us and it's because she was depressed and she's upset that she's done it and feels bad but she is determined they have not slept together - not even kissed .
I'm lost because I genuinely do love her qnd want to be with her forever but my trust is almost gone ... What should I do? Feel free to ask further questions.

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Anonymous 2016-06-14 14:22:04 Post No.17254579
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Anonymous 2016-06-14 14:22:04 Post No.17254579 [Report]

>>17254443
Tell her to think of how she would feel in your situation, and that you don't want her to talk to him.

Don't be passive, tell her what you want and why, if that isn't enough to convince her you need to move on.

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Anonymous 2016-06-14 14:25:48 Post No.17254586
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Anonymous 2016-06-14 14:25:48 Post No.17254586 [Report]

What she's doing is "emotional cheating" - no, she hasn't been sexting or sending nudes or hooking up behind your back, but she's seeking attention from someone else because she's feeling unfulfilled in the relationship. I would definitely put your foot down and tell her to stop talking with this guy, but you're also going to have to figure out what it is she's missing with you and work on it. You can't expect her to stop talking to other people and make no changes or else she's going to do it again.

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Anonymous 2016-06-14 14:30:21 Post No.17254599
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Anonymous 2016-06-14 14:30:21 Post No.17254599 [Report]

>>17254579
>>17254586
I understand what you mean and I had planned action for that , I want to make her happy but my point is that I didn't realise how unhappy she was... How am I going to know she won't do This again I want her to be honest with me ... I know she will stop talking to him as she does seem upset she did ... But it lasted months

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Anonymous 2016-06-14 14:39:31 Post No.17254615
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Anonymous 2016-06-14 14:39:31 Post No.17254615 [Report]

>>17254599
The fact that this went undetected by you for months is a big deal. That is a long time for her to have developed feelings for someone else and that could be the cause of her depression - that she doesn't want to be with you anymore but feels guilty about it so she stays with you out of guilt. You can't know for sure she won't do it again, but if you stay together for another couple months while trying to fix the relationship and she's still talking to him or someone else, you might have to break up with her. Sometimes people stay with someone because they have more to gain if they do, not necessarily because they love the other person but because they are accustomed to the life they have together and don't want to lose it.

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Anonymous 2016-06-14 15:52:23 Post No.17254770
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Anonymous 2016-06-14 15:52:23 Post No.17254770 [Report]

>>17254615
The question is how do I work out which category she falls under haha.
I enjoy our life together but I love her at the same time ... I want to make it work but I'm looking forward and I think it will make me constantly feel like she is doing it ... Even if it was a one off , and for a reason .