Something is wrong with me /adv/. I don't like kids.. like at all. I am 26 and I just HATE hearing kids talk, laugh, play. I hate seeing couples. I hate seeing pregnant women. in fact... I think I just HATE seeing people happy. I am mostly bothered by laughing children though or children saying words.
I also feel.. asexual? I masturbate a lot to porno but never really pursue relationships. Like, it doesn't feel compelling? I don't have that drive to get a relationship and I don't know why.
One of my friends told me that sex and relationships should be like at least top 5 thoughts for any healthy male.
Is my mind fucked? I am just super miserable and bitter and salty. What have I become?
>>17253203
Exactly how busy is your life? Do you work a job or go out at night on the weekdays/weekends? Most people who feel this way tend to either have some serious mental defect covered in the DSM-V. Others might just see life as bleak and half-empty because they don't get to experience this kind of happiness. I remember when I fell into depression because I felt as though I was doomed to be unhappy and that's just the way life worked. Fun fact, it doesn't. Life is how you make it, even if you think positive reinforcement is bullshit, it helps you trick your mind into a more stable state of being. Either way, you should describe your most common weekly routines and your most common social gatherings if you have any. Maybe some interests or hobbies.
>>17253237
My weekly routines consists of having to get up at 5:45am and take a hour long bus to work and get home at 7pm every day. and I work on sundays sometimes too.
I don't go out much but would really like to but I just don't fit well in that scene. My friends describe me as a ornament of sorts. I just am kind of there but when asked about me, no one can remember exactly what I was doing or where I was.
I do like playing video games and working with electronics. I try to spend some time jogging and working out just to stay healthy a bit.
I will admit, I am super depressed but I feel like depression is one of those "coward afflictions" that can't be cured.
Relationship wise.. I am not doing well. I don't understand the concept of dating or "making moves" which has left me crippled in this department. I don't understand how things work and people would find it strange if I asked for help.
>>17253245
I can relate to you, but I was in highschool when I felt like this, which made it easier for me to cope with what was going on. Now, from what you've said, all you basically have for social interaction is work. Do you have anyone at work whom you're fond of or at least is fond of you?
You say that you have friends yet you don't do much going out, which makes me think you just hang out with them at home. That's fine, but it's harder to meet people like that seeing as there's no one new in your home. You just have to find things that might be interesting to you, especially given that we live in an age of technology and social media is the easiest way to connect people. Things like Meetup, Timeout, or just walking around your local subdivision/neighborhood could really help you out. You just need to keep an eye open for things to do with friends.
Most people go to music festivals or showcases, but you should find something you would enjoy or someone you know might enjoy. Like, recently, while walking through my neighborhood to work, I saw a poster for some independent wrestling circuit. I don't care much for it, but one of my friends is a big WWE mark, so I thought it'd be fun to tell him. Just because I did that, other people who knew him or me asked about it and we got a group going. Sometimes, connections are made simply because you talk about things openly in front of other people who know you at least a little bit.
Depression is very hard to deal with and one of the best ways to get rid of it is to become inspired. At least, that's how I did it. Once again, I was in highschool, so it was a lot easier to find something that would impact me. Honestly, it's pretty corny, but I played FF: Crisis Core and I felt as though I related to Zack in some kind of odd way. Maybe I was just a huge faggot who didn't know what they were doing. Honestly, most people are, I've met more people who have no clue what they're doing than successful people.
Cont.
>>17253261
Cont.
Even if it seems like someone is successful because they have a booming social life, they still don't really know what they're doing. They might have someone special in their life or a 'ladies man', but there's still parts of their life that they might be unsure about.
Dating's hard in general, especially in the 21st century. I have an amazingly hard time doing it, but I've learned that if I just stop caring about it, it doesn't matter. You need to focus on self improvement before you can really get to dating. If you aren't confident, than who's going to enjoy your company. You need to understand your motives, your ideologies, your concepts, etc. Everything that makes you tick is something you really have to both discover and challenge. You can't just say you know who you are without taking some time staring into the abyss or the undiscovered. Just talk with people about things you like, understand, dislike, and misunderstand. There's gonna be a lot of things you really don't know simply because the way you think is going to be different from another person, as are your experiences.
One of the best ways to understand yourself is knowing your sense of humor. Really learn what comedy you enjoy, which comedians are funny, and whether you have the patience and tolerance to go to a bad comedy show. I've done it before and I've taken people to shows I've never seen just to see how well I could spin it in my favor. Some were shit, others were a blast. It's all about how you make things out to be, how you perceive your reality. You can turn negative things into positives if you simply will yourself to feel that way. There's things I hate that I can talk about at length as if they're good just to impress people. It's a skill that not everyone has, but it's a skill nonetheless. Learning how to communicate is the most important self-help, it's necessary in all facets of life.
