How to stop beeing afraid of sex?
Unlike in those cases of 22 year old kissless virgins I have no trouble with my looks, with talking to grirls(working as a chef and im meeting alot of waitress girls, their friends), I have big, clean, quiet room with king sized bed close to city centre, more than enough money, good clothes, phone. I even had girls sending messages to me 1st/inviting me places but I for some reason always pussy out when i feel its going where its going. All friends and people at work think that im just having break from sex.
I had girlfriends before, broke up as we didnt have sex even when sleeping together.
I think its caused by the fear. Fear that a girl expects me to be good in bed when i have no idea what im doing. I dont even mind straight telling them that but i dont know if it will help.
Today i was going to meet one of those girls from work, we both have day off but..i just got scared.
Should I just call a prostitue? I have cash for that and once might be enought to break through, I mean, I hope it is.
Pic unrelated, I just like this angle.
I had the same issue and going to a prostitute didn't help
what helped was finding a gf and building confidence through experience
>>17251859
Get a girlfriend. If she is a good person then she should be understanding. Girls have hit me up all throughout my entire life, but I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22 because I was afraid of doing it.
The first time I did anything sexual, I was so nervous that I was shaking. After having sex a few times, I was told that I was the best that she has ever had.
Do you have any deeply rooted concerns or insecurities about yourself that keep you from doing it?
Same boat, fucking sucks bro.
I feel really confident and all then I start thinking "what if?" and pussy out then we end up cuddling or something.
I've come to the point where I don't even care about sex anymore, it's nothing I wish for, I've had so many opportunities and I've blown all of them.
I just want a gf to do stuff and spend time together with but once I fuck up the sex they think that I'm not interested and just moves on.
>>17251859
You have to be a bit selfish, anon. You have to think about how good her body will feel. Think of her lips pressed against yours, her boobs pressing against your chest, the feel of her skin against yours. Yes, making her feel good is important too but you need to stop being afraid of making yourself feel good. Just as you want to please her she also wants to please you (most of the time). Just take a deep breath, enjoy her company, and if it gets to that enjoy her body too.
>>17251859
>I dont even mind straight telling them that but i dont know if it will help.
Do NOT do that. Fucking lie.
>OP pusses out
>The pussy stays in
Like pottery.
>>17251894
Well, todays reason to pussy out was that i just went through couple of pics of said girl, she works out alot, amazing body, a bit manly but i dont mind, I started thinking to myself that thers no way I could handle that, be interesting and worth her time(even tho its her beeing shy around me at work etc)
Maybe those are shadows of the past when i was a big fat nerd where girls like this one would be only a dream(in past year+ ive sorted out my life, got in shape and quitted some bad addictions)
>>17251908
Not selfish, quite the opposite. Im thinking that i might not be worth the time, that she will leave the house disapointed or laughing.
So how should i look for girl friend in such situation. Know a girl or 2 that would be perfect but we already stopped talking after some akward situations...
Posting this pic on a SFW board
Maybe start by not being a dickhead?
>>17252072
If she leaves disappointed or laughing then you dodged a bullet, anon. She's not worth staying with and hey, you still got laid! Experience is invaluable even if something negative like that happens.
Reconnect. Awkward situations can be glossed over.
>>17252072
Not that poster, but he/she said you have to BE selfish to some extent. fmpov, this is correct. When I lost my virginity, I had no idea what I was doing, but once you get going, your instincts will kick in. Being attentive is good, you can read in her face, her body, her pussy. Communicate with your boo, ask her if it feels good, and work from there. If she isn't a fish in bed, you will both get a rhythm going.
As for looking for a girlfriend, you need to take the initiative and ask someone out on a date. It sounds easier than it is, but you don't sound like a lost cause. Just crank up that charm and ffs, chill out. If she invites you over, say yes and treat it like any occasion.
>>17252072
Are you me op
I was in a pretty similar mindset a while ago before I had sex. I knew my body was average or maybe a bit below average so I was worried how she would react when I got naked.
Anyways turns out I was right to be insecure about my body because of what she said. I think if you work out and work on looking good naked it will solve a lot of your issues.
>>17251859
How often do you watch porn? My guess is that is fucking up your head when it comes to sex.
I'm in a similar situation, but I'm almost positive it's because porn rotted my fucking brain out
3) Oral -> hit and miss, some people love it some people hate it, but it's an excellent tool to have your in toolbox - and hers KACHOW.
>>17253186
what did she say, anon?
>>17253284
FFS my shit got wrecked. Starting over:
>>17253227
Definitely a factor. Porn is super awful for you my man (presumably). Get that shit out of your life. Not only is it flooding your brain with the same chemicals that give you desire to do things, but it's also instilling a super negative, toxic portrayal of male sexuality. You don't have to have a giant cock-hammer to have good sex, you also don't need to last 20+ minutes. Shit, I last maybe 2-3 minutes max and my dick is average on the best of days. What makes you good at sex?
You have these qualities, homie. It's being empathetic, and communicative. Based on what you've said already about yourself, you sound like you have those skills. So now you need to learn the mechanics. I honestly wouldn't even concern yourself with the D-slinging game, forget about that shit, that's the afterthought.
What you need to focus on:
1) Digital Stimulation - there's lots of guides out there, LOTS. Most of them all suck, but read them anyway. Do a cross reference of everything you've read and keep the pieces that are consistent and make sense. There isn't a holy technique that will make someone nut instantly (for women, for men you just stick it to that prostate and bam baby you got yourself a baby gravy shower). 3 things specificaly: Learn female anatomy, learn how to stimulate the clitoris properly (not too much, not too little, the best spots, etc - part 1 is important for this), and learn how to digitally penetrate (come hither motion, slow and steady, lots of lube [spit, actual lube]).
2) Communication - Be perceptive of your partner, pay attention to what's working for them, and don't be afraid to be a little pushy (no means fucking no though, and you gotta be careful). Lots of people like domination play, just fucking ask if she wants to be slapped/chocked/etc. If she says no, then it really isn't a big fucking deal and you move on. If she says yes, do it lightly and increase intensity - check in with her to make sure it's ok.
3) Oral -> hit and miss, some people love it some people hate it, but it's an excellent tool to have your in toolbox - and hers KACHOW.
"oh b-b-b-but what if she d-d-d-doesn't cuuuuum?" Who gives a shit. Women don't have the same drive for nutting like guys do. They'd rather have a fucking dope sexual experience where they're comfortable, feeling consistent pleasure, and can make YOU feel good as well. You learning how to make her nut will come with time and learning her body, and so will your SICK JACKHAMMER MEGA THRUST DICK SLINGING PORN STYLE.
Some women do want big D, some women do want to cum, but not all of them, and in my experience not most of them care too much. THey just wanna have a good time. Good foreplay, good non-penetrative sex, and good company. The pentration can be good too, but don't stress out not being good at that to prevent the rest from happening.
4154257476
It's sex, it's fun, it's not hard, and it shouldn't scare you. You're your own worst enemy, and you're petrifying yourself. Most people are kind enough and nice enough to be understanding if you have a rough tiem cause of nerves too. I've had so many experiences where I couldn't get it up, and no one felt bad. I mean, would it have been better if I could? Yeah. Laugh it off, grab some drinks/food/whateverthefuck and chill out and enjoy each other's comapny, or don't and just bail and next time try again.
The longer you put it off the more mystical it's going to become for you, and hte more difficult it will be for you to take that first step. Don't make it a big deal because it isn't. I've had the best sex in the world with one of my partners, but when I started i was so garbage at sex cause I didn't follow any of the advice I just told you. Years later and it's pretty consistently awesome now, but even still we have those days where one of isn't that into it and it just doesn't flow, or we're being goofy and it's not super hot, it doesn't matter. It's like eating food with a good friend, sometimes you have shitty food sometimes you have dope food, but you still had an experience with a friend.
tl;dr - chill the fuck out.
>>17251859
>>17252072
are mods asleep?
