If you have a policy of being honest, just go tell him what you just wrote - that you feel hurt by it.

Don't try to use it as leverage or anything, just be clear about how you feel. If he respects how you feel, he will make more of an effort to not let it happen again.

>>17251296
I don't necessarily disagree with this advice, but if a guy told the same story about his girlfriend dancing with a bunch of guys and "one of them kissing her" the chorus of "break up with that whore!" would be universal. Just sayin'.

>>17251302
No it wouldn't. Seen it happen here many times. There will be those people, but they will be reasonably balanced by the "it was just dancing and a kiss and she was honest about it" people.

If it were sex, yes, the pitchforks would be hoisted and the torches would be lit. So lit.

>>17251290

Sounds like he handled it. She kissed him, he told her to fuck off. He was attracted to her... That'll happen. He danced with other girls, a lot, and apparently had a good time. Makes me think he's done nothing fun is his life, ever, so he let it lose a bit, but stayed in control and didn't cross any lines.

He feels guilty about what he should feel guilty about, but isn't negating the experience. What exactly are you mad about? If it was me, I'd be pissed he had a good time without me, more than the fact he saw some girls.

I think you're dealing with a mix of jealousy (the fear of something being taken away) and envy (he did something good without you). They don't mix well, and can generate a lot of anger and anxiety. It's a 2 and a half year relationship, is it worth the feels?

>>17251290

OP, there's nothing to worry about. Unless youve always thought of him as the kind of guy who wouldnt mind giving you an STI, everything is fine. Dancing is dancing, drinking is drinking, and CLEARLY you hooked quite the hunk if ladies wanna kiss him.

But he did not reciprocate or entice sexual conduct. He came back to YOU.

If he's honest.

Dump him. You're not going to be able to trust him out drinking anymore. His friends will keep encouraging him to have sex on the side, and he is unwilling to stand up to them. Eventually they'll make fun of him too much calling him whipped, and he'll "need" to cheat to fit in.

Either he's willing to compromise his morals/relationship with you so his friends think he's cool OR he didn't think he did anything wrong and is using his friends as an excuse.
Telling the truth about it doesn't make it okay.

>>17251319

SJW has entered the thread!

>>17251309
I mean it pisses me off a bit that he DIDN'T tell her to fuck off. He didn't say, "I have a gf" and he kept dancing with her - he just didn't reciprocate the kiss. I felt almost like he was trying to be good without ever actually acknowleging me and I know it's a small thing but why couldn't he just say he has a gf?

You say a lot of true things though - I definitely don't want to begrudge him a great experience! I'm so happy he had so much fun. That's why I'm a bit torn. I don't want to ruin his great time but I also want to be sure he isn't trying to pretend I don't exist when I'm away.

I love him though and I want to work past these feelings.

>>17251290
Yeah, no. His story sinks. He was balls deep in that prostitute and had the drunk fuck of his lifetime.

>>17251328

I don't think he would have made the effort to be good if you weren't on his mind.

You're just a girlfriend, not a wife. He doesn't owe you anything.

>>17251296
You're right about being honest - I will confront him about this. I've already said a few things about how I'm a bit disappointed but since it still bothers me I guess we need to talk more.

>>17251317
You're right - he made the right choices! I need to focus on that. I guess I'm just a bit mad so many girls were hitting on him and I wasn't there to do anything about it. I think he wasn't used to the overwhelming attention either so he was just caught up in it (he's very handsome but pretty clueless so unless someone is obviously all over him he has no idea they're into him).

>>17251319
I think I would be more worried about the friend aspect of it if this wasn't a one time deal. Most of these guys he only befriended on the trip and I doubt it's very likely he will hang out with them again.

>>17251326
I'd say the same thing genders reversed. Girl hanging out with a bunch of girl friends drinking, they tell her to go hook up with a guy. She doesn't want her friends to think she's boring so she flirts and he kisses her. She says she doesn't let it go farther than that. Dances with some other guys, comes home and tells her boyfriend how she felt guilty but she's pretty excited talking about it.

Poor taste in friends, wouldn't trust her not to cheat if friends pushed her enough.

He definitely fucked her lol

>>17251337
Lol ok. So what, people should just be allowed to do what the fuck ever and treat you as they please while dating and you're supposed to see marriage material in that? They're supposed to suddenly become conscientious of their partners only after getting married?

>>17251331
>>17251351
I really don't think he's the type of guy who would do that to me. Before this I trusted him completely and would never think he'd ever do something even small like this! He's always been big about telling me how he avoids tempting situations. We survived a one year LDR without him cheating.

>>17251349

People who cheat don't need help from friends. It's a choice. If you give in to peer pressure, you're a tool. This guy didn't.

>>17251360
>i don't think he's that kind of guy
>just did something that I thought he would never do

>>17251362
True. Cheaters revel in the sense of independence that is getting their kicks with no one being the wiser.

>>17251341
>Most of these guys he only befriended on the trip and I doubt it's very likely he will hang out with them again.

Not entirely sure that's better. That just prioritizing saving face with random guys over how you'd feel. Guys he knew for 6 days. If you trust that he was entirely honest about what happened, maybe have a serious talk about respect.

>>17251290

>>drinking
>>drunk

He probably only remembers enough to know he didn't have sex with anyone, and his brain is filling the blanks the best it can to generate the story.

There is no point in dragging it out, because the story will likely change, as human memory is fragmented even when sober, and is affected by our ideals and beliefs. It's really a useless source of evidence.

>>17251385

To elaborate. He knew he'd have to tell you something, he knew he wasn't 100% good, but not filthy cheater bad either. So you get what you got.

>>17251369
Yeah that's may be the best course of action. I think you put it better than me - I didn't understand why he cared more about their opinion than me. These people also know who I am and it feels a bit like I've been disrespected by both them and my boyfriend.

>>17251388
You're right, his memory of what happened probably isn't great.

So then what should I do, just forget about it?

>>17251396

Let it go, or go crazy over it.

>>17251396
If you want the truth, yes.
Not to say what he did isn't wrong, because it is completely unacceptable behavior. However, it is remarkably rare to find men or women who are dedicated to being 100% loyal to their partners no matter what. Therefore, if having a relationship is important to you, you should just get used to it and let it go without making a big deal about it.
Do make sure to tell him how you feel at the very least, but don't persist or annoy him about it.

>>17251290
C U C K ' D
U
C
K
'
D

>>17251403
>>17251406
Okay. I think I'll have a brief discussion about this, then put it to rest. I am hurt about it but preserving my relationship is more important to me.

>>17251308
Tell you what, I'll wait a couple weeks and then actually do the experiment. Betcha I'm right.

>>17251482

If my girlfirend came home and said she was danciing and then some guy kissed her I'd be like, "since when do you dance? and did you scream rape?"

>>17251290
>having so low self-respect as to hang with prostitutes
>being so beta letting people group pressure you
>choosing a degenerate crowd to hang with in the first place
>feel like "losing face" when not wanting to be as degenerated
>being this fucking low and beta

You deserve your drama.

a) Choose to believe he's telling the truth. He didn't bang the prostitute, or even let her suck his penis with a condom.
b) Assume that he's a liar, and send him down to the clinic to get his ass tested for aids, before you let him near your vagina, or your tight little butthole. even if the test comes back negative this time, his cheating, liar dick is going to get infected eventually, even if all he does is share beers with hookers, and kiss skanky hoes who blow dudes in nightclubs.
c) dump him and find an honest mate

>>17251290
Im sorry that he have done this to you.
This really sucks and if it would happen to me, Id consider breaking up. Why? Well...
1. He was honest, but he said a lot of things you shouldnt when you try to act guilty, example - that he was attacted to her. Why he said that? To make you jealous OR maybe he doesnt care about your feeling. Either way, thats disrespectful 100%
2. His only excuse for not taking prostitute was herpes.. not that he loves you or anything else... hmm..
3. He was feeling bad BUT acted all excited. Sorry miss, he doesnt feel guilty at all. Guess next time he will do it again, since he was excited and liked it. Maybe next time he will go all the way.
4. Dont think any peer pressure happened, because he seems like grown man and can stand up for himself. Everything what happened was his choice, so if a girl kissed him, he wanted it to happen. If he kept dancing with girls, he did it because he wanted to. Another way to show disrespect towards you.
DONT ALLOW ANYONE DISRESPECT YOU THIS WAY!
Youre worth more than this scum! Just because he said sorry makes him think that its ok, next time he will say sorry again, because u forgave him before right. Dont be in relationship with such a person.

>>17251296
I second this shiet

>>17251328
If you guys need excitement; get out of your cohesive comfort zone together like taking salsa dancing or some shit like that. Maybe both of you need to not spend every fucking second in the same room.

this is a typical male tactic called "i screwed up,but it could be worse" attempting to manipulate you opinion as to what is right and wrong.
-I was kissing coworker girls, and something may or may not have happened between us, but at least i didn't fuck the hookers that where there and available and paid for.

what he DID was unforgivable. he kissed another woman. he put his mouth on someone else. and danced with her, and probably more.
the fact that he didn't screw the hookers is irrelevant.

I'd be worried about your guy not just hanging around guys who would look down on him for not wanting to cheat, but actually going along with that instead of standing his ground and saying he is happy with you. He gets points for honesty but that alone shows he is susceptible to peer pressure, and he'll no doubt want to get shitfaced with them more often.

Honestly, I would reconsider the relationship at this point. Not because he cheated but because it's an assembly of red flags. Your OP doesn't even specify whether he told the girl who kissed him off, or just went "oh welp SHE kissed ME so if I go along with it that's on her".

>>17251655
I really want to believe in choice A because any other options would completely devastating towards my trust in people, especially since he's the first person I felt I could trust completely.

>>17251684
To be honest I asked him if he was attracted to her and he didn't lie.
But thanks for that advice. I do need to think about the possibility of him disrespecting me.

>>17251730
Yeah I completely agree with that. Actually after he came back he seemed really interested in teaching me to salsa, so maybe that's something we should do. We need to have more fun together.

>>17251738
He said she kissed him - so it's not like he initiated it. But yeah, I wasn't a huge fan of him continuing to dance with her or that when I asked him what kind of dancing he did he said he mostly danced salsa or normallybut he occasionally grinded with girls.

>>17251779
Yeah that part about how he had to say he was afraid of herpes really bothered me. When I questioned him on it, he said it was just "man talk" and he had to say it like that but the real reason was me.

And no, he didn't tell the girl off - he said he didn't reciprocate but kept dancing with her.

>>17251909
>just "man talk"
No. There are different kinds of men. There is talking about hot women and sex and there is cheering on a friend to go cheat on his loving partner with a literal whore. It is really telling that he'd rather imply that all men would throw morals out of the window like this, than admit that he hangs out with a bunch of scummy fucks.

>didn't reciprocate but kept dancing with her
Fuck that. Fuck. That. She just disrespected his relationship, she disrespected you, and if he took any pride in being 100% faithful she disrespected him. But he didn't care and kept dancing with her.

And rubbing his dick on girls, really? It's your decision but with the additional info I don't think that I could feel secure and happy in a relationship with someone I knew to hold views like that.

>>17251919
To be fair to this girl, it doesn't seem like she knew about me when she kissed him, which is presumably why she would do that (she is new to the group).

But that's why I'm pissed he didn't say something to her immediately.

And honestly, it does make me question what might happen again in the future.

>>17251950
It's not about her judgment, it's about him realizing it. He didn't have to get angry at her (and from the rest it seems plausible that his behavior made him appear single), but to just continue to dance with her after the kiss doesn't exactly seem like he cared about it happening. I think most people who really wanted to not kiss anyone but their partner would at the very least have knee jerk irritation if someone else kissed them on the mouth without a warning.

It should!! This isn't some stroke of bad faith out of his control, it's just him wanting to act single while having a girlfriend.

>>17251319
This is probably the most helpful advice you'll get OP.
There's no doubt in my mind that he'll eventually go all the way

>>17251364
This lmao

>>17251957
>>17251965
Thank you for the advice. I felt crazy, like I was taking a small kiss to seriously, but I'm glad that it's not all in my head. This will give me the confidence to confront him about it.

>>17251989
Stand up for yourself!! To me it's not at all about the kiss but about his own behavior throughout the night. If it was just a random girl walking up to him, pecking before he could even register what happened and then being gone the next moment, it would've been weird but a non-issue on his part. He really showed his character and how much respect he has for you by doing all those things. I'm not even sure if he's being so open because he feels guilty and wants your forgiveness, or that he's hoping to convince you that this behavior is no big deal and escalate over time with your permission. Either way stand your ground, you are completely right to be pissed off here!