>>17249332
I've had the same argument and both sides of the discussion have merit. However, ultimately I dropped it because I trust my gf (soon to be fiance) enough.

If you stand to inherit money, perhaps talk to a lawyer and see if there is some loophole around marriage for inheritance. Perhaps have your parents write in a will that it goes to only you (Idk if this is possible in your state, but it's worth looking into).

Ultimately though, she will see a prenup as you seeing divorce as a possibility, when you really shouldn't go into marriage with that as even a thought. I know it's the more practical thing to do to get a prenup, but this why she is upset.

>>17249332
My advice, keep her as your gf but don't get married.

>>17249332

Based on what you've said, it seems like she's got an eye on your bank account

>I mentioned that I'd want a pre-nup if I got married
>she said this shows that I don't love the person

Don't fall for that spiel mate. Her not agreeing to it shows that she doesn't love the person imho

>>17249332
>I said I'd want a pre-nup and led to an huge argument. Am I in the wrong?
No.

>>17249332
It's understandable why she would get angry because you are literally telling her you dont trust her.

Pre-nup argreements are also not water-proof (at least in britbongistan) anyways, if you are paranoid of women getting a share in your wealth, you should find someone you would trust your life with and slowly transfer all your assets to him/her, basically making it that you have no assets on your name.

>>17249332

You both have a point but I don't think you appreciate what you're saying to her.

Your concerns make sense from a pragmatic, financial standpoint but you're essentially telling her you're planning for the end of your relationship.

You want a prenup before marriage and she finds the whole concept insulting and I can't say definitively that either of you should back down from your stances.

I don't want to weigh too heavily on either end of the issue but I think maybe, with your history of being cheated on, you have a small bit of fear and insecurity that you're unfairly laying on the lap of your current girlfriend. I understand you've been hurt before but you really have to take some time to appreciate the weight of the things you're saying to her.

Telling her flat out you want an infidelity clause because you've been cheated on before? Telling the person you love to her face that you want to plan for her cheating on you? Thats a real punch in the gut, dude. You have to realize that.

Maybe she'll get over these feelings, maybe she won't. You might have to accept the possibility that this issue could be an impassable roadblock in your relationship.

I'm not saying you should get rid of the idea of a prenup but you definitely need to change the way you talk to her about this because it seems to me that you delivered a lot of really hurtful blows and you don't even realize it.

The way /adv/ thinks how prenups work (you shove a document in her face and force her to sign it to make her walk away penniless) or how marriages work (apparently you rip a shopping list down in half so she gets the formula while you get the diapers) tells me that any fuckwit on /adv/ who whines about this in general is not ready to be married.

Women are always going to earn less than men, and "pay into" less than men. On the flipside, women are expected to do the bulk of the work in both household chores as well as emotional work. If you aren't prepared to face this and come to a more realistic agreement prior to entering into marriage and are prepared to see your assets as hers and vice versa, then you are not ready for marriage at all. If anything, your insistence on calculating things down to the last cent will destroy the marriage.

I was in a bullshit marriage with separate finances and a husband who had severely warped misconceptions about how no-fault divorce and division of assets worked. He thought a legitimate end to a marriage was going around lying to everyone I cheated on him because he thought it is a legitimate way to not have to give me my fair share of whatever he stashed away. You know what's going to happen now? Expensive lawyers are going to be hired on both sides. Assets will be tracked (in a very expensive fashion) and Court proceedings will continue (in a very expensive fashion). Even if I walk away with nothing I'd be happy knowing that he also walks away with nothing.

Or you know, he could have entered into the marriage without his tit-for-tat mindset, cause conflict and trouble by insisting upon every cent, and amicably agree to separate like two reasonable adults and it could have cost everyone far less.

>>17249458
>Women are always going to earn less than men

Yeh, but they don't.

Women never have any significant and objective argument for not wanting to sign a prenup. It's all about "you don't really love me :( "

Well, love has to go two ways, doesn't it?