She's probably agonizingly lonely.

>>17248910

Maybe not the best advice- but have you tried having him introduce you to her? It might help you feel a bit better if you know her personally + it might help her get the idea that hey, you are his gf.

>>17248931
She's on the other side of the country. They've never even met.

>>17248918
I sure think so. I just really don't understand why she can't make friends where she lives. I've seen her snaps and stuff. Seems like she's got tons of friends. I don't know why she insists on talking to my BF like he's all she has.

your reaction is totally warranted, that shit is not cool. He needs to be mature and recognize what this is doing to you, and should cut her out, out of respect for you. I think its fine if he makes sure she is safe and all that but you need to really let him know that this is disrespectful to you and they should both respect that.

>>17248910
You really shouldn't have butted in...

>Why cant she ask someone else for advice
Because your BF was her friend, he was the person she can ask for advice. Just because they've never met IRL doesn't mean they're not friends or don't know each other, they've known each other longer than you've known your bf.

>Tell your bf you're sorry
>Tell her your're sorry
>Let your BF help her
That's all there is too it.

Let me ask something, picture this, if the girl was a guy would you care this much? Or do you only care because she is a girl and you feel threatened by her because he's getting your bf's attention?

You aren't being controlling. This is part of a relationship. You have to do what pleases your partner and things like this are common. Have him delete her because she is over stepping her boundaries. However I don't trust your boyfriend. My boyfriend would have deleted her on the spot for over stepping her boundaries and disrespecting our relationship.

>>17248995
Ive known my boyfriend for over 10 years lol, we met in middle school, have been friends since and now were both in college and dating. So thats not really warranted.

>>17249023
Ooh never-mind then, you said
>So ive been with my bf for about 2 years. When we first started taking he was talking to a girl he met on the internet.
So I thought you meant that you met him 2 years ago, and at the same time he was already talking to someone.

>>17248980
>>17249011
Thanks guys. I dont want to be pushy but ive had issues with her before and even nicely messaged her before to backup. This kind of just pushed me over the line a bit. It makes me upset because when I ask my bf about it he gets defensive and says "fine whatever ill delete her I dont even care". The defensiveness really makes me think he actually cares about her quite a bit so its upsetting.

>>17249025
Nah ive known him FOREVER, we just started dating two years ago and this girl has remained a "friend" I guess. I dont care if hes got girl friends. She just seems to push the limits a bit.

The 3am phone calls of her wanting to kill herself and other attention seeking actions really made me think. Then today she tagged him in that post.

>>17248910
He is being disrespectful by not listening to your wishes.

The shooting took place at a GAY night club, why would she be there? Does she live in that city? If she wasn't anywhere near that night club, then this is her way of saying "Hey, remember me? Start talking to me again because I miss you" while using a tragedy as an excuse to reach out.

Even if she was IN the fucking club when it happened, the fact that she reached out to your boyfriend, of all people, is like calling and saying "Hi, um, in case you were wondering, I'm fine. Y'know, just in case you were wondering. So, how ya been? Need some more nudez?"

Your boyfriend would sure as shit have a problem if it was a guy doing this with you.

>>17249124
THANK YOU anon. She lives in FL and I think near Orlando I told my bf that I think she tagged him as to stab at me and our relationship. I have no clue why she would tag him of all people, plus im 100% sure he's not her only out-of-state friend. Especially since she's good at making friends with randoms on the internet and sending naked pics to them.

Glad to hear im not necessarily in the wrong here

>>17249145
If there was true concern for well-being, then the parties concerned would reach out to check. The fact that she volunteered to disclose that she was "alright" out of nowhere when there was no doubt about it (or genuine concern on your boyfriend's part for that matter) shows that she was just itching for an excuse to make contact.

If there's nothing between your boyfriend and this chick, then he should be fine with keeping her at a very safe distance if not dropping her altogether. She seems like the type to go all Single White Female on you.

>>17249169
He's already limited his contact with her a lot so I guess maybe now its time for him to just completely cut her out. I just think he'll turn it around on me like "im not allowed to have friends that are girls" which is not the case at all.

>>17249186
As long as he knows how to maintain a respectful level of friendship with other females and he knows what boundaries exist, then it's fine. Limited contact with this crazy FL chick is harmless so long as it doesn't escalate, e.g. "I'm flying up for the week, wanna meet?"

As for you, not much to do at this point except relax knowing you're not being psycho or catty.

She seems like she had BPD + major attention seeking issues. Sucks because she probably is lonely and she probably likes your boyfriend, but people with uncontrolled BPD typically ruin everything they touch. Maybe your bf likes her too idk, but if it was me, I guess I'd feel conflicted too, because I know how much trouble she is and, despite her flaws, care about her well being as a friend.

Sooner or later your boyfriend will wise up and realise its all an attention grab and she could potentially fuck up his life. As for what you can do about it, I don't really know. You can be pushy and tell him to cut off contact because it's necessary in the long run, but he may resent you. Just whatever you do, make your intentions clear that you love him and are looking out for him.

As a guy when I get in these situations I generally sit back and let them play out because eventually the questionable person will end up getting enough rope to hang themselves out to dry, but its probably different from a female dynamic. I guess be patient and try not to be the one to drop the ultimatum bomb. Though for the record I would not be pleased if my girlfriend was doing this to me.

>>17248910
Sounds like a bitch

>>17249219
He told me hes going to unfriend her on facebook so I guess thats good? I feel bad about it still even though thats kinda what I want.

>>17248910
Whenever she sends him texts, facebook messages, anything I think you should be allowed to read them and help him respond to her. You can make a game out of it if you want to but really what you need to do is be involved with her. If he feels like this is a problem perhaps you should question his intentions with the girl. It seems odd that he would someday cheat on you with a girl so far away but perhaps he is saying things to her he shouldn't be saying?

>>17248910
Red flag. Internet stalkers won't usually start up with this crap again unless your boyfriend triggered it. It's very likely he started to talk to her again, Even in an innocent "how's life, friend?" Kind of way.
Know from experience. You need to draw the line and tell him it's making you uncomfortable.
Nothing is wrong or clingy about communicating your feelings to your partner as long as you do it in a calm and non accusing way.

>>17248995
The reaction is warranted. They sent each other nudes and her boyfriend is not responsible for her being suicidal. Only a therapist can help her.

>>17249572
I think she's just doing it for attention honestly.