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I'll try to tl;dr that shit, and if it's too long i'll tl;dr the shortened version; here it goes.

So this year I met a girl which was attractive, but not really my type. I'm more of a one night stand guy, I never really fell in love, I have several "plates" (booty calls I guess ?), but I never had an actual girlfriend. I find it very hard to connect with people, so I don't talk to them unless I have a good reason to.

Anyways, one night I end up alone with that girl, and I was very surprised : we had an actual conversation, for hours, and it's not like these conversations that die off and that you have to restart with a new subject, we literally talked naturally for hours, we'd kept laugh over stupid shit (to tears sometimes), until we had to part ways.

After that we kept talking regularly on Facebook, I learned she had a boyfriend, and at that point I became wary, mostly because I noticed that each time I spoke to her I felt a warmth in my chest, I was getting too close to her. I knew how this would end up. So I stopped talking to her. But she started messaging me, so I obviously answered back, and before I even saw it coming we started flirting, and she wanted me to call her "sweetheart" (well, Petit coeur in French), and added that she wouldn't really know how her bf would react, but she still insisted that I called her that, and I did, and it hurt.

Many details hinted that I should probably make a move on her, so I found some decent reason to go get a drink together, she accepted, then she cancelled at the last minute, so we rescheduled 2 weeks after, and again, she cancelled at the last minute, then we rescheduled, and Again, she cancelled, again, at the last minute. So I thought that I was probably imagining things, and that she doesn't want to be alone with me because she doesn't want me to have the wrong ideas, so again, I gave up, and the school year ended.