Advice from men
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Specifically men that are in long term relationships and are happy. I'm having a hard time dealing with my girlfriend past sexual encounters. I have never mentioned it to her or let her know how I feel about it but I feel like things would have been ideal for us. We both have our history and it doesn't make me think less of her as a person but it is something that plagues me. When she tells me details about her encounters it makes me sick to think about it. I've always been of the opinion that transparency in a relationship is preferable to ignorance or denial. I know that she never orgasmed before me so I'm not insecure about my performance. I think it has more to do with the thought of another man with my girl.
My question:
Is this an error of judgement on my part on a subconscious level causing obsessive and neurotic images that if I had a clear understanding would make me feel indifferent? Do the feelings fade away with time? Or is it one of those things that will always bother me on some level and I will just have to learn to put up with it for as long as we are together?
It's normal to feel that way, especially when you're relatively young. However, you have to get over the feeling and accept that she has a sexual past as do you. Don't dwell on it.
Bear in mind that she almost certainly thinks far less of her sexual past than you do about yours, as that is normal for women to be much more focused on their current relationship than men (in my experience). You will grow out of these kinds of feelings as you age and mature. Unless she is really talking about it way too much, don't insist that you not ever discuss your pasts as that will be viewed as a sign of insecurity and immaturity and is unattractive in a partner.
>>17246259
Don't ever talk about it or think about it, it never happened, that's the only way to deal with it.
I really hate when this feeling, it comes up so often.
One thing that often worked for me was doing something others hadn't -- maybe sex in the car, maybe anal, whatever it is. That validated my subconscious enough for it not to bug me.
>>17246259
it never bothered me that my gf had previous sexual encounters, in fact if she didn't it would bother me. It would mean she was not good enough
>>17246329
This is helpful. Thank you
