Fake it until you make it
Well i fucking faked and now im scared as fuck
I have to fuck a girl tonight and i have never been inside one before
She thinks im a fucking sex machine
What do i do?
Seems like comedy gold scenario.
I'd just go on with it, what's there to lose? Virginity? If you'll be able to get it up in all that pressure you're already a winner imo. Wish you luck.
>>17245104
And it'll make for a funny story regardless of what happens.
>>17245104
>>17245104
It is fucking comedy
The bad one tho, everyone for some reason thinks i get all the pussy in the world, now i finally have the chance and im so fucking fucked
There is be alchool which is nice
What's there to lose?
Worst case scenario i cant find the hole to put the dick in
Also should i shave or trim?
Also quick guide:
1) hold her tight
2) kissing
3) groping
4) undo her clothes slowly while touching and groping and kissing
5) It's up? Time to condom up.
6) Remove the air from the top, check if you are putting it on right side, roll it down carefully, keep sucking her to not lose boner during this
7) Do her missionary, it's the easiest for beginner, hole is in the lower part of pussy, just don't go for asshole accidentally, you can brush her vag with your dick as a foreplay and you'll figure out the construction
8) For the first time the humping is really clumsy, you are untrained, but maybe nature will guide you better than me the first time, sadly don't expect fireworks
9) Better pull out once you know you are coming, if you keep it inside till it's flat, condom will go off
10) Make le lying virgin dance on top of her, and run away through the window (it may end up cute though, depends on the girl, wish you luck)
>>17245132
I love you and im even more fucked than i tought
>>17245124
I'd not recommend any alco, It's harder to get hard after it (no pun intended). She may be drunk tho if it makes it all easier, if you livein murrica just call the police that you are about to have sax and make sure she has written consent on paper for you.
>>17245149
Alchool will make me last longer tho
I have never seen a pro lasting 5 secs
Man once im done with this im gonna write a script for a movie about tonight
>>17245145
Also emergency scenario if you can't get it up. Just go oral on her vag, let's hope she shave. First kiss and lick around the puss, slowly progress toward center, then inside. Now you must find the clit - there are two kinds of clits, "don't touch me!" and "give me all you've got". You have to check which kind is she. 1st, you lick the puss everywhere around clit but leave the clit, you've got a fucking long work before you, your jaw will have a workout like you've never had and I'll probably hurt next day. The second one is easy job, just lick the puss and go for clit when she gets really turned on, lick the motherfucker and see her go crazy.
In both cases you end when she says it's done, if you regain boner in the meantime, you may try plan A again.
>>17245131
Don't shave, you are not a porn actor. Trim? I dunno, If your dick is sticking out from the bush enough so she can see it or suck it, it's ok.
>>17245183
too late
>>17245172
Thank you sex god
>>17245214
I love you man, you make my day,
It's ok, just prepare for cowboy walk next few days.It also may seem bigger when shaved,
I need to know how this ends up, damn.
>>17245224
I shall write my adventures tomorrow
Well, if she'll doubt your experience at some point, just laugh it off, hopefully she's not a bitch, she wanted to fuck you anyway.
>>17245067
>Fake it until you make it
>Well i fucking faked and now im scared as fuck
>I have to fuck a girl tonight and i have never been inside one before
Welcome to the last boss of faking it till you make it, OP.
OP you and this thread are gold. What board you posting this story on tomorrow? Feel like I could end up in your position, need to see how it goes.
>>17245067
Masturbate before
>>17245067
Eat her pussy first if she nuts she doesn't give a fuck
>>17245132
pretty solid advice. fingering is pretty easy and will most likely get her off, try that
Guys, I think OP is not with us anymore...
I hope to be here at his return to check how my teachings worked in this case.
>>17245067
See,
you should have practised for girls. Bisexual experience in your teens. It would have saved you man.
>>17245067
Bail by cumming in three secs and apolgize, blame it on her being so pretty.
Set up new date in a couple of weeks
Download grindr
Practise for girls
Improve
>>17245067
>>17245067
have fun with anxiety-induced erectile dysfunction my man
>>17245067
gr8 b8 m8
>>17245605
>>17245608
Fags trying to get at OP's boipussy.
>>17246267
My first time the horniness overtook nervousness for sure,
![article-2511564-00290D8400000258-857_472x423[2].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/RkEhdvX.jpg "article-2511564-00290D8400000258-857_472x423[2].jpg")
bump to keep thread alive as we wait for op
Last two digits is how long OP lasted
>>17247084
Seconds or minutes?
My first time for example was like half a fucking hour or some shit because I couldn't finish because of all this nervousness. The girl was too kind to tell me to stop and she had walking problems for the next day.
>>17245067
Alot of forplay eat her out and shit before you stick it in. make her cum with your fingers at least once before you give her the dick. Also buy and bring over some wine.
>>17247132
This is kinda bad advice - sometimes they get really raw and sore from the fingering and will just be spending the rest of the time thinking "dude needs to wrap this up, this just hurts now"
>>17245132
This but I also recommend foreplay. You'll be nervous as fuck and that's cool, it took me like an hour to get off the first time I had sex because I was kinda nervous - hard as a rock though.
Don't be afraid to take control. Some women like to push with you when they want it harder, or will put their hand on your chest to slow you down if they want you to slow it down. Try not to pull out too often. Most women like you taking control. Kinda like, they take care of a lot of shit, they have a busy life and do shit all the time, and they just want to relax and let you be the boss for a bit.
don't drink alcohol. even though i'm 32 years old i'm always hard and i can fuck up to ten times a night.
So far the plan is working right? So stop freaking out like a bitch and project the fake confidence that you've been projecting all along and imagine yourself as the person you've been portraying and you'll have nothing to worry about. The hard part is over, now it's time to put all that porn watching to good use with the art of imitation. Just don't go overboard and keep it Classic at first.
>>17245067
Here's what you do, OP: Don't.
Don't be a slut. Tell her she's great but you'd rather only have sex that builds a lasting relationship. Tell her that it's a difficult decision, but you're a strong enough man to make it. Then tell her you're going to take her on a date again soon, and walk out.
When you marry a woman someday, probably no this one because she's a slut, tell your wife you stood up a sexy chick because you wanted something better, with your wife. She'll know you won't cheat on her and she'll suck your dick just to thank you.
>>17247420
Let me make a notice that he can fuck her and still tell his wife this.
>>17247420
Do NOT listen to this beta faggot OP. Jesus....people like you should not give out advice on women
Op is around
This is how it went
>My fucking ex from my early teens decided to appear
>Im still mad at that slut
>I was really sad the rest of the night
>We had a discussion
>The other girl was around me the rest of the night
>Always trying
>I finally get completely drunk
>Oh fuck she is leaving
>Throw myself in front of the car is the best course of action
>Obviusly
>Oh shit this worked
>New date today
>>17247472
Oh well, no ass was waxed this day I understand.
Wish luck next time then.
>>17245067
How did it go? Did you score a hole in one?
OP please we need this
>>17247472
>>17248266
>>17248743
Guys i aldery posted
Also i did not went to the second date, after all these years and everything she putted me trough i still love that whore
>>17248986
Hold on. So you blew everything with the girl you fooled and just got ball blisteringly drunk because your ex was around. Then you ran into traffic and fell for your ex again. I some how don't think you're OP. OP didn't seem like the kind of guy to say things like "did not went" and "putted me trough"
>>17249041
Pretty much, im drunk and sad and this was the best i could do, there is more to this story than this but fuck it the whore blew my night
proff on pic
>>17249041
forgot pic
>>17245132
Good luck to OP. I literally came the second I got in her the first time. But i got hard right after and had sex for like 30 minutes then.
>>17249176
What a let down.
>>17249181
I think we can all learn a valuable lesson from this.
Make sure she cleaned dat pussy, and ass
