gf problem.
so I woke up this morning to my gf telling me that she hadn't taken her BC pill for the past 10 days. She told me after we had sex twice and I came in her once. She bought a morning after. But told me all this after the fact.
Of course I was a bit mad/upset that she didn't tell me before we did anything. she said she was worried I was going to be mad. I told her it's not cool and I have a right to know these things. She claims shes sorry.
my question is . wtf? we have been dating for 3 years. no scares. shes 26 I'm 27. Why the fuck did this happen? we talk all the time. I don't understand. I get shit happens. but we are at 3 years of dating. We haven't gone on vacation / moved in. This girl just feels so irresponsible at times.
no glove no love
>>17242823
its def at that point now. where I have to step in and control this shit. it's just a bit of a "breach of trust" in my eyes.
Birth control is dangerous and unnatural, anyway.
>>17242841
true. we've talked about that.
I'm more upset she didn't mention it or tell me at any point.
Kinda same situation but doing a calendar method
She had her period on 5-10th of this month is it safe on 17-19th?
She cant take pills right now, couldnt be bothered with rubber....does those days safe?
>>17242909
in my 3 years of dating. I've came in her maybe 6-8 times.
I pull out usually. unless shes on top and it's hard to wipe it out sorta speak.
I have no idea on calendar method
I'm sure she didn't realize it until the 10th day or she'd have told you sooner.
It's not /exactly/ irresponsible. When you're on birth control, typically you take a pill for 21 days and then don't take a pill for another 7 days. Once you've gone 7 days without taking a pill, it's easy to forget that that's part of your daily routine. I'm assuming she forgot to renew the script and being habituated to not taking a pill for a week, forgot about it entirely. I seriously doubt that she intentionally didn't take birth control for 10 days, that would be absurd. Plan B is fairly painful, and at best causes you to get your period, so I would be shocked and very confused if she did this intentionally. I think it's actually more appropriate that she told you after she'd taken the Plan B. If she'd told you before, you would have been in a panic that she might be pregnant, or (depending on your views of the subject) might have told her you didn't want her to take Plan B. I'm sure the conversation was much easier for her to have once it was sorted and done with. Example: I called my bf to tell him I was pregnant and getting an abortion. I didn't wait until later to decide, because I didn't want to have that (oh we should keep it) conversation, or give him false hope that we might have a child.
>>17242909
No days are safe. The calendar method fails for 13-20% of the women who practice it each year, and that's if you follow it exactly and predict the ovulation exactly.
>>17242920
it is understandable. I wasn't really mad at her. just wondering. why didn't she tell me. or explain it further
or even the "I thought you would be mad"
it's just a bit like. whoa. we're adults. tell me whats up.
Maybe she wants to have kids. 26 is past ripe, she probably feels the clock ticking.
try to have a real heart to heart with her and see what she's feeling.
people make mistakes. Just ask her to be straight with you.
>>17242934
This may sound odd but she actually might have not thought it was a big deal. Because in practice, it's not. Plan B causes insta-miscarriage, and birth control prevents pregnancy in the first place. So in effect, it's all the same really. I can see how she might think it's barely worth mentioning. She may have even though you overreacted by worrying about it at all. But i'm speculating. You could just ask her.
>>17242920
Disagree completely. You don't have to renew the script every month, they come in packs of three months minimum, if you've been on it for any length of time they prescribe year long supplies. Only some kind of serious moron would genuinely forget that they haven't done something that's part of their daily routine for ten days, let alone seventeen like you're suggesting. It's like forgetting to brush your teeth or shower once you've been on it for any length of time.
>>17242962
people forget routine things all the time dude
you sound like a prick.
>>17242820
Sounds like she wants to have a baby, you've been dating almost 3 years where did you expect things to go?
I mean it was shitty of her not to tell you but you gotta ask yourself, what do you want out of your relationship.
>>17242946
no. she doesn't at this point. nor do I. she needs a job and to pay off a student loan.
if she does she can go find a guy to do that with.
>>17242820
She wants to get knocked up but plays it off by saying "I didn't want to make you upset, oops!"
Keep your gloves hidden somewhere, it's very easy to poke holes in it.
>>17242962
>disagree completely
>You don't have to renew the script every month
>they come in packs of three months minimum
Photo related. It's my one month prescription of birth control pills. I am not allowed to fill more than one month at a time, and even if I were, insurance only covers it one month at a time.
>Only some kind of serious moron would genuinely forget that they haven't done something that's part of their daily routine for ten days, let alone seventeen like you're suggesting
Nowhere in my post did I say anything about seventeen days. It's 21 on, 7 off.
> It's like forgetting to brush your teeth or shower once you've been on it for any length of time.
Except if you don't take your birth control after your period has ended, there's no tangible (non-mental) reminder like there is with showering or brushing your teeth. After about 12 hours of not doing either, people tend to start to smell and grow tooth sweaters, which are very tangible reminders. Having been in the habit of not taking it for seven days, it's pretty natural to continue on with that habit. We are creatures of habit because having automatic functions makes it easier to exercise executive function over the things that do matter.
>>17243003
shes 40 g's in debt. she needs a full time job in her field.
I told her I'm not ready until I'm early - mid 30s.
she can leave at any point. theres so much I want to do in my life before any kids come. I'm not ready financial / not really mature for that yet. I got out of school finally have a job. I want to enjoy my life a bit before the next big milestone / stress comes.
>>17242988
Yeah, people forget to take out the trash or something equally small once in a while. Not things that result in potentially life ruining consequences, and if they do, then they are a moron and my point stands.
>>17243017
Alright fair enough, good luck.
>>17243015
> It's 21 on, 7 off
this is op. not that guy.
her's has 7 days of placebo pills. which she doesn't take.
>>17242946
>>17243003
>>17243012
Delusional, paranoid psychotic shitposting and samefagging.
>>17243009
>>17243017
lol
enjoy your autistic babies
>>17243025
Then yeah that makes a lot of sense she'd forget. Like I said, when you're in the habit of doing something, the mind has a tendency to preserve that behavior. I'm exceedingly careful, have a daily alarm set, and I still miss a pill every three months or so. Sometimes I'll be in the middle of doing something very important and tell myself I'll do it in a moment, or I'm not at home when the alarm goes off. No one is perfect.
>>17243026
If someone's delusional here, it's you. The biological clock is a powerful thing, and it sounds like OP is determined to waste her best childbearing years.
I guarantee you she didn't forget shit. She probably didn't even get the plan B or anything. She was just trying to gauge OP's reaction to a possible pregnancy. Not saying she's pregnant now, but she was probably just trying to see how he'd react to it.
that's why he should have a serious talk with her about it.
>>17243015
>Nowhere in my post did I say anything about seventeen days. It's 21 on, 7 off.
>I'm assuming she forgot to renew the script and being habituated to not taking a pill for a week, forgot about it entirely.
7 days break plus the 10 days anon is talking about. 7 + 10 = 17. It's simple math anon come on.
>Photo related. It's my one month prescription of birth control pills. I am not allowed to fill more than one month at a time, and even if I were, insurance only covers it one month at a time.
My bad. Live in a country where it's free and didn't consider insurance etc.
>Except if you don't take your birth control after your period has ended, there's no tangible (non-mental) reminder like there is with showering or brushing your teeth
Actually the vast majority of people continue to bleed, start to bleed again or spot bleed. Most people's periods do not stop on the placebo week until they start taking the real pills again, either.
>>17243026
You've never really been with a woman before haven't you?
>>17243056
not all women are gun-ho on getting knocked up.
some are some aren't.
some goto school to get an education to have a career. yes you can't have a crazy career and be a mother at the same time you need to choose.
but her being in student debt isn't going to fucking help. not to mention. it's her debt. I'm not paying it. she needs a job.
I want to be with someone that has a career. doesn't have debt. and at some point wants to have kids.
>>17243068
>and at some point wants to have kids.
You say this but you really mean that you're going to trade her in for a younger model once you're ready to have kids.
>>17242914
hmm i guess cowgirl but id still pullout...i just dont wanna get her pregnant.
>>17243068
Women dont make decisions based on logic but on their emotions. Once you understand this it makes sense why they behave in such ways.
She may be deep in debt but still may want her own kid.
>>17243056
I am a woman
>>17243077
maybe it's true. but at this point I've been completely honest with her.
I don't know if I even want kids. I feel theres so much of my life I want to explore before I even think about bringing kids into this world.
>>17243110
fortunately for you, you're good on that front until like 40ish. Women don't have that luxury. So just make sure she understands that, repeat yourself if necessary
>>17243125
ive repeated it several times. I just moved to a big city and finally have my career I want .
having money , paid off debt and enjoying my life. I want atleast 5 years of exploring this city / job before I even start o think about kids. Hell I'm just renting a room in a house.
ITT preteens thinking BC and pulling out stops pregnancies.
Condoms dont even stop them.
You dont want to risk having kids? Dont fuck.
>>17243049
>Most people's periods do not stop on the placebo week until they start taking the real pills again, either.
lel what
you probably need to change your brand of pill if this is true for you. talk to your doctor please.
my pack ends on a tuesday. I usually get my period by thursday or friday, and it usually has mostly faded by monday, completely gone by tuesday, and I start a new pack. if I chose not to start a new pack, my body wouldn't magically summon another period's worth of blood until I decided to go back on the pill.
>>17243131
have you said it recently though? If she's 26 she's probably just realizing 'holy shit I'm getting old' and possibly entering panic mode re: the expiration date of her ovaries
>>17243146
yes.
but now im fucking starting to get paranoid. and think I need to move on.
>>17242841
[citation needed]
>>17243141
>Something happens this way for me personally therefore it must be that way for everyone! There's no way I could be the exception!
I used to volunteer at a sexual health clinic, this is the info I was given to give out to patients. Personally I stop my period before resuming my pills, but I'm not stupid enough to assume my personal experience is the only normal way for things to occur.
>if I chose not to start a new pack, my body wouldn't magically summon another period's worth of blood until I decided to go back on the pill.
Okay. You don't actually understand what a period is, let alone what happens when you're on the pill. Sex ed in America really is shocking. Your body sheds the endometrial lining of your uterus, that is what constitutes the majority of your period. Not blood. The little blood that there is, is just a side effect of the fact your body is forcefully removing a layer of tissue. Your body does not "Store up blood" To have a period. And you realise all of the blood in your body is shared by all of your organs, right? You're not allocated a certain amount for your period or anything else. The damaged tissue does not stop bleeding until it begins to build back up in preparation for a fertilised egg, which only happens because of certain hormonal cues, which guess what? The pill disrupts! That's the whole premise of how it works, it completely fucks over the natural hormonal cycles that dictate what your uterus is up to.
op here.
this whole thread now makes me fucking scared.
>>17243198
look, no one refers to it as endometrial lining when they're talking about their period. I figured you would've been up to speed on common vernacular to know this, but I guess not. you need to calm down.
and also see a doctor for your anger issues probably.
>>17243166
>Unnatural
It doesn't occur without human intervention and relies on synthesized hormones
>dangerous
Are you incapable of thinking for yourself?
Google "hormonal birth control negative health impacts"
>>17243141
lol
everythings going to be okay little op just don't let the existential dread set in *pats noggin*
fuck now I'm freaking out. that feeling when my life isn't that long. The ticking clock is happening.
its been 3 years. we haven't moved in or gone on vacation cause of her. she doesn't have money. took a year of from working to take a break after school. Now we're here. time is going on. shes not going to be out of debt anytime soon. Or have some career that will take care of money situations in her life.
why didn't they tell me this shit in school
"OH Hey BTW. that gf you have will have debt. when she gets preggo. which she will want to. You will have to pay for everything"
no one fucking said anything like that.
wtf. I think I better just move on. Only take exclusively when I want kids.
>>17243375
Well, they're selling the university meme pretty hard in school because it makes them money.
My friend paid 40k for a 2 year physical therapy degree and makes dick. The culinary school I was considering was 46k for 2 years and you make fuck all entry level in culinary careers.
Your gf made a terrible choice financially, and it's her problem.
