![Bustup_00_06[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/76Y6nCf.png "Bustup_00_06[1].png")
I feel as though nobody particularly cares for my existence.
Now I've been decent friends with these people for some amount of time. Both college and high school friends, yet none of them ever seem to remember that im a thing, until I'm within their presence, actively talking to them.
My friends from high school don't even talk to me anymore, Hell, a childhood friend of mind just recently got married and I dont even think i got an invite to the wedding.
And then my friends from college. I hang around them every other day, yet as soon as summer quarter comes, nothing. Not even a single like on my facebook posts. Even uploading my art to facebook doesn't bring in people anymore.
However, whenever I look at their pages, they seem to be talking to each other all the time, and have a shitload of people who 'like' their shit.
TL;DR I guess i want to know, how the hell do i become more popular among my friends? Both real life and on social media. It's really bumming me out. Feels like im being left out or some shit.
Am I not talking enough? Am i easily forgettable? Is my presence just that insignificant, What do? It's starting to become just like in high school where I pretty much didnt exist unless my best friend was with me, who was considerably more popular than I was.
>>17239808
I've been told to my face that I'm forgettable. Feels bad. The fucking worst is like a few days ago I got a pic from college friends making stupid faces. With text saying shit like YOOOOO man waddup we gotta hang soon. They obviously hang on the regular. Literally don't invite me. Idk what to do. I've always been that guy.
from my experience are you a rather annoying person. be honest with yourself, are you a rather disagreeable person on average? it's really a chore being around people who are annoying.
>>17239855
Completely the opposite, and Im being as objective as I can possibly be,saying that.
Among my friend group, Im one of the quietest, and one of the more respectful. Add in some clever one liners, maybe some sarcasm in my voice, and you have me. And I'm very agreeable, and I participate in quite a bit of activities they suggest.
I guess you could say im similar to a silent protagonist, except i speak more frequently if that makes sense
>>17239808
People only want to hang out with people who they respect.
The calls and invites initially occurred because for some reason a person was respected by the group, invited by the group, and then developed a history with that group.
You might be agreeable, you might be nice, but they do not respect you.
You earn respect by respecting yourself. By having red lines where if someone crosses it you immediately demand repayment or restitution. And this means that you have to have principles or the ability to throw everything you have earned away to keep this one thing, this goal/principle sancrosant.
And it also means evaluating everything to see whether or not it stacks up to a certain standard you have set for yourself. If it doesn't you cut it away and move on.
>>17239905
Maybe your too quiet or you com off as pretentious. Also you could try being spontaneous and be the one that invites others to hang out rather than waiting to be invited.
>>17239925
So, in order to get the invites you need to have self-respect.
You get self-respect by adhering to certain standards and principles that are sancrosant, that you do not violate for anyone.
And you constantly evaluate everything you interact with and do in order to see if it meets the same standards you set for yourself.
This does not mean being agreeable. This does not mean being nice. These are just social norms. What this does mean is that you are willing to violate any and all norms or codes of behavior in order to have this goal, this idea, sancrosant and you demand that everyone and everything in your life adhere to that standard if they want to be in your life.
Because honestly nobody is gonna want to hang out with someone who does not know who he is and what he wants. Once you know this and strive for it with every fiber of your being will people want to hang out with you but at that point you won't fucking care anymore.
You'll probably need to be the one to initiate hangouts t b h. Don't take it personally, coming from an invisible person. It's just a simple fact that you'll get used to in time.
>>17239928
Well, I certainly know they dont think Im pretentious. However, I really cant tell if im too quiet. But i'm confident that i certainly speak louder than 2 people in the group. But then again they do have seniority over me.
>>17239925
Well what kind of red lines do i need? I'm simple to get along with, and pretty hard to upset, although very easy to upset with the right things.
Don't insult me, or my entire person and Dont steal/break my stuff and we'll get along fine. Other than that, I really don't mind what anybody does. I suppose i could say, dont act like i dont exist, but then that would just make me look clingy and a mess. So I just give slightly annoyed looks until I forget about it in a few minutes.
>>17239971
See, you are too passive.
A redline can be anything that makes you feel awkward or uncomfortable, or contributes to a lack of respect of the self.
Basically, you have varying degrees of what annoys you and you let slide to what something you cannot ignore.
What you need to start doing is that anything that slightly annoys you you do not tolerate at all. a 1% uncomfortable situation you need to start treating as a 100% violation of your ethics.
But this comes with a caveat. You must, 100% follow the rules you set out for those around you with yourself. If you do not want to be interrupted when talking you make damn sure not to interrupt anyone.
It requires massive amounts of self-discipline and constant vigilance, but after about three months of constant effort it will become second nature to you.
>>17239994
So whatever redline you do have, be sure to commit to it 100%. Whatever rules you have, commit to them 100%.
What redline I will give to you is this. Do everything 100%. Every single thing 100%. Brushing teeth, 100%. Making your bed, 100% perfect.
At school? You fucking commit to every single class 100%. Max effort in everything you do. No mistakes, no daydreaming. 100% present and accounted for.
>>17240003
Uhuh, well.
I dont see how this is supposed to help. I mean if I got pissy over everything that slightly annoyed me, then surely people would just want to not hang out with me even more.
It annoys me seeing my friend and his girlfriend, (whom is also my friend) enjoy each other's company due to reasons that I don't want to get into right now. (they pretty much stay at my dorm 24/7) I also find some of the rapid fire jokes from some of my friends annoying too, but I'm sure it would be kind of unjustified to get pissy about it.
Weird, you try to be friends with everyone, and end up friends with no one. Not even the really close ones seem to think much about you. so much for trying to be the kamen rider fourze of my school.
>>17239905
>I'm one of the quietest
I think this may be your answer. I always seemed forgettable and left out frm Kindergarten on up to senior year. I was a painfully shy, very quiet kid. In my early 20s I really opened up, became talkative and very sociable. Everything changed once I did.
![Bustup_00_13[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/xgR1XJQ.png "Bustup_00_13[1].png")
>>17240121
I'd really hate if this was the case, especially since this is the most i've talked to anybody since all of high school combined. I've actually started opening up more since this year started.
Shoot, this past quarter, i think was the first time i ever told anybody i was interested in someone. It would not surprise me that if prior to this, they thought i was either gay, or another one of those asexuals. Even when this is the most i've spoken, i'm still the quiet one nobody remembers.
>>17240095
Well anon, what you have been doing hasn't been working maybe you should try something different.
Just start confronting and being aggressive and stop being passive.
