How do you cope with the fact that you don't really know what you're doing? I feel like an imposter, and that everything could fall apart tomorrow. I have doubts all the time. It hasn't stopped me from doing things, but the thoughts can get me down when I'm by myself.
I figured something a couple of years back, on my first job. I'll share it with you.
I was quite anxious, because everyone around me had a lot of expert knowledge in different areas. A lot of words were thrown around that I didn't understand, and I felt pretty dumb.
Then this one day came and I realized - maybe I should just be honest. The next time a hard word was thrown out I laughed a bit and said: "Sorry, I have no idea of what you're talking about - what's that?".
Not only was the reaction what I expected (people looking down on you), people we PLEASED to explain it to me AND I felt better in the end.
People love feeling knowledgeable. They won't waste time making yourself feel bad if they can make themselves feel better.
Hope that helps
>>17239045
apologies for the grammar mishaps and missing words, I'm sleep deprived
>>17238983
>>17239045
That's how I generally act in the workplace and in school. But my fear is more about life in general. We're all supposed to follow this template of getting an education and a job, finding a partner, buying a house and car, etc. I fear I'm not going to succeed in these things, that I'm not going to get a job, that I'm not going to find a partner to settle down with. I fear people will realize that I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing, and will stay away from me. I fear that I'm going to do something stupid and scare people away.
>We're all supposed to follow this template of getting an education and a job, finding a partner, buying a house and car, etc.
We're not "supposed" to anything. Plenty of people don't get an education, job, parner, house or car. And many are just as happy.
>I fear I'm not going to succeed in these things, that I'm not going to get a job, that I'm not going to find a partner to settle down with.
DESU, it just sounds like you're 20.
It'll get better. You'll realize it's not about not getting a job or a partner. It's about trusting yourself.
>I fear people will realize that I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing, and will stay away from me.
Look man, NO ONE knows what the fuck they're doing. If someone tells you otherwise, they're either lying, or have a incredibly boring life.
>I fear that I'm going to do something stupid and scare people away.
That'll happen. People do stupid things, and stupid people walk away. That's life, and you need to come to accept it.
When this happens, it's either because you legit fucked up, or because people around you aren't worth your company. You can treat the former by apologizing and learning from it. Treat the latter by surrounding yourself with different people.
Good luck
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that literally nobody knows what they're doing. I used to look up to people older than me, higher ups, founders, and always tried my best to get them to notice my work. Now that Im in they're position I realize that those same people I looked up to didnt actually know what they were doing. I used to really freak out when something didnt go right or we run dangerously close to a deadline. But now I realize that people dont really care about that all the time. That's basically how most things run.
