I've been talking to a guy online for half a year now. We have a nine year gap between us with him being older. He was the first person I've ever been comfortable with doing dirty things(even if it was only online, cam and stuff). I quickly developed feelings for him because I'm a stupid virgin but he has made it clear that he has no romantic interest in me(claims that I'm too far away/he's not interested in online relationships).
He tends to ignore me for long periods of time and then randomly message me when he is horny/lonely looking to cam. I stopped giving him what he wants a few months ago and now our conversations are few and in-between. How do I get him to see me as an actual person and open up to me? Or should I just forget and try to move on? He always seems so sad and lonely and I just want to help.
>>17238849
>he has made it clear that he has no romantic interest in me(claims that I'm too far away/he's not interested in online relationships).
>ods of time and then randomly message me when he is horny/lonely looking to cam. I stopped giving him what he wants a few months ago and now our conversations are few and in-between.
>should I just forget and try to move on?
>>17238849
People can't change.
Find someone that won't use you are a sex toy.
If you have any form of self respect whatsoever.
>>17238849
>How do I get him to see me as an actual person
You can't.
>and open up to me?
You've seen him as open as you ever will.
>should I just forget and try to move on?
Yes.
>He always seems so sad and lonely
Thats because playing Lord Byron works.
>and I just want to help.
You can't.
>>17238859
I've deleted him a few times. He always readds me after a while and accuses me of being overly dramatic. He also will get jealous/mad for example when I talk about other guys or mention that I went out on a date. I dunno. I'm not too interested in him in a romantic way anymore. I just wanna know whats up, why he acts the way he does- maybe get him to stop being such a sad dude.
>>17238872
He knows exactly what he is doing.
Just block him next time and make sure he won't ever contact you again.
>>17238878
We are also part of the same esports community so we tend to run into each other. The few times when I deleted him we would accidentally end up playing in the same scrims and stuff where he would just tease me constantly.
It seems hard to get away from him. I do think that it is for the best though, thank you.
bump...
>>17238849
Don't expect more from guys 9 years older than you. It's a major red flag that they haven't been able to bond and settle down with a woman, often the ones who go that much younger are vain and think women have an expiration date. Don't humiliate yourself like that, find a guy closer to your age who has healthy views towards women aging. That's LTR material, not a much older manchild who only contacts you for sex (like how is that not obvious?).
He has a girlfriend. Just get over before you get hurt.
Does his name start with J?
>>17239178
Who are you?
>>17239078
I guess I feel a strange emotional attachment to him since he is the first person to make me feel comfortable with doing things of a sexual nature.
>>17239242
Doesn't mean he's good for you. You shouldn't go after guys like that, they just use you, as they've used girls 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years older than you. Maybe he's already found someone a few years younger that is more exciting. Look for someone you're comfortable with sexually that isn't shit.
He's either interested or with someone else. He is using you as a back up or a novelty. He loved that you gave him what he wanted without the actual commitment.
Gain some self-respect and just drop him out of your life. The next time you feel some interest in someone, make sure before you start to become sexual in anyway that they have made it clear they are interested in you beyond what you can provide sexually.
>>17239188
I'm hoping it's not a small world and he's not my bf
>>17238849
>How do I get him to see me as an actual person and open up to me?
You can't force someone to respect you. Online interactions are great because you can go online, get your rocks off then turn off your computer and go about your day like nothing happened. No commitment, no intimacy, no strings attached.
To him, you're a fun toy he gets to put on his shelf, ignore, and then pick up and play with whenever he gets bored. If thats the kind of person you want to pursue a relationship with then I think that the bulk of my concern rests with why you allow people to treat you this way.
I'm not sure what you consider "helping him" but I can tell you its not letting him jack off to your tits and then ignore you.
>>17238849
he is using you, you stupid roastie. cut all contact and find someone who sees you as more than a piece of meat
>>17238849
He's clearly using you, and you should cut off contact.
But you already knew that, right? You came here looking for a magical answer?
Good, because I have one. I'll read your cards for you if you record yourself speaking freely (nothing prepared or recited) for at least a minute.
>>17239316
His name does start with J but a lot of peoples' names do. What about my story makes him seem familiar?
>>17239323
>>17239333
>>17239268
Thank you. I will cut all contact with him. I just needed some affirmation that my choice was appropriate.
>>17239436
All of it. I caught him doing stuff but he swore he stopped.
>>17239473
How old is he?
>>17239495
He will be 31 soon.
>>17239555
Probably a huge coincidence, but he is around there in age.
>>17239571
Where's your guy live?
>>17239578
Oklahoma
>>17239586
Indiana
