>Be with arty Asian girlfriend for 3 years
>We talk daily, she has confidence issues but I love her and support her.
>We get into adventures, do couple stuff.
>She gets a new haircut. I love it! I keep supporting her.
>She gets a new job as a model
>I keep supporting her and saying go for it
>She's now making $500 a photo shoot.
>People compliment her all the time now
>She says she's happy. I feel great for her.
>She randomly tells me she "gets bored easily and scared of committing to me further. She doesn't want to hurt me and runaway from me."
>She's scared of "letting her walls down around me."
I just told her, we'll be okay and that she just needs to be more vocal with me and her needs. Deep down I'm hurt, angry and confused. Who is this new person? This isn't the person I fell for. This isn't the person I took care of when she was sick. Now is that gratitude? Once someone besides me said she was "pretty" she's been acting all aloof and too cool for me.
I just want my fun goofy awkward girlfriend back... Not this model with false confidence who wants to "travel the world."
What's happening is that she's no longer in a place which puts you in the more powerful position, and you don't like losing the power you had over her.
>>17238658
This.
Also you shouldn't do good things because you expect to be rewarded, because 9/10, you wont be.
She would have been like this from the start if she were always hot. It's not a new person.
>>17238658
I feel so impotent... Deep down I love her greatly. We are both scared of losing each other. Yet she doesn't want to make future plans. I guess it's a fear of commitment. I'm always planing, building and being constructive. I think it's just a rough patch and we'll talk it out.
>>17238672
That's not the case I just did good things because I loved her. Now there is this attitude when I try to comfort her or be loving to her.
>>17238673
No, it's the power issue, and your own insecurity. It's the same with any guy here who actually wants to date a girl who's insecure - they themselves are insecure and dating someone who's more insecure than them makes them feel powerful.
The commitment thing is a spin-off - you're no longer in charge, which puts her in the more powerful position and you're worried you're losing this hold over her and you're worried she's going to leave you for someone who's 'better'. If it really were the commitment thing, she would have been like this right from the start.
lol what? this is simple. just tell her your feelings are fading for her too because well.. it is. you don't like her new attitude after all. but be vague about it... for the best, or else she'll start accusing you of being jealous or some dumb shit like that.
see how quickly she'll either come back to you or not... i can almost guarantee this will shake her foundation and put her in a position where she feels vulnerable and realize how much you mean to her.
if not, then you just dodged a bullet. find someone else who won't take you for granted, there are plenty of nice girls out there.
>>17238687
I hate games like this but should I play the jealousy card? She went off about how upset she was that some girl was flirting with me... I mean this is a power struggle obviously. I was overly loving.
>>17238724
>She randomly tells me she "gets bored easily and scared of committing to me further. She doesn't want to hurt me and runaway from me."
she started the game, she can eat shit for it. she most likely started this to make you feel insecure and thus giving her even more of the upper hand. hell, that very line is DESIGNED to make you feel shitty. so tell her "maybe we're better off seeing other people if you feel this way, because i kind of feel the same way."
her job as a girlfriend is to make you feel loved and wanted. if she really felt that way, she should keep that shit to herself until she really feels sure that she can't be with you and break up with you accordingly.
you can always tell her to knock it off, but i don't think she will if she starts playing games like this.
>>17238645
Red flags
Mate, sorry to tell you this but she now finds you "below" her. Fold your cards, and tell her to fuck off next time she says some shit like that. Have some pride
>>17238645
Your girlfriend sounds shallow
>whoa a model that's shallow??
This has happened to me before. Gonna level with you man, shallow people are not loyal people. Learned that the hard way with my gf of 5 years leaving me.
Find someone more down to earth.
>>17238843
Yeah, I'm giving her space and ignoring her calls this week. I'm pissed off yes. She started this cat and mouse game, so god help me she's getting it. It isn't pretty, but all is fair in love.
>>17238881
Yes, because ignoring her instead of addressing your relationship's issues is the best thing to do to preserve your relationship
>>17238881
You know when that anon said fold your cards he meant bail out of the relationship? Red flags are death flags dude. End it and move on.
>>17238687
this is the best reply.. she's letting the modelling shit go to her head. Asian models are expected to be prostitutes in some cases so beware of that too...
>>172382>>17238916
This
Get out of there man, just give her a piece of your mind in order to get some closure
You can do it
>>17238921
This. She's in over her head and will be a wreck. Give it 2 months.
>>17238645
She's outgrown you bruh. People will change. The best relationships happen when people change in the same direction.
Don't listen to some of the idiots in this thread. Yes you're being insecure but that doesn't mean the insecurity isn't valid, insecurity is a response to a genuine threat. I don't know your personal financial/status situation but judging by what you say she's better than you are now and she knows it. This kills the attraction, unless she's super loyal to you but lets face it, why should she be? She's making tons of money, getting all kinds of attention, she now thinks she can do better than you.
Same thing happened to my ex. She was an awkward insecure girl who got picked up by a modelling agency and it went downhill from there. I didn't act any differently, she just became better than me on a social platform. To paraphrase the late Patrice O'Neal, women don't want to be kings they want a king, they want to be the king's bitch. Unless this modelling thing stops for her she's gonna start looking for another king. Because the queen has power from being the king's bitch but the king doesn't from being the queen's bitch. It's just nature. For your own happiness find another awkward girl or improve yourself. Peace and love
talk to her. be direct, not nice. don't go out of your way to be harsh, but don't hold a fucking thing back. let her know what's up. otherwise, she'll just keep drifting further and further. keep her grounded and remind her who she really is (if she still is). i hope it's not too late for you OP
>>17238645
There's no gratitude you can expect from a women, dating isn't about that gratitude.
For me, it's a signal, you have to get better than her very quickly if you don't want her to leave in any manner...
Find a hobby, move, do something slightly interesting, be a man
>>17238678
>>17238682
Seriously what lol? OP don't listen to these fools.
She's starting to feel cocky because she feels like one of the cool kids now. Just reserve yourself, keep your distance.
