My girlfriend is merely okay-looking. Not ugly, just okay. She has certain physical elements that I wouldn't want to see in my kids for example (if we ever have any.) However she has the best personality of anyone I ever met and I really care about her.
Is it a mistake to stay with her even when I have these doubts?
>>17237920
Nobody is perfect OP.
>>17237923
This. If you love her and care about her, stay with her. Especially if you love her personality. Trust me, good personalities are hard to come by
Good personality is worth much more than looks. Don't even worry about how your kids would look like, that dumb, besides its much more important how they will be raised, and good personality will help it a lot.
That's a tough one, I'm in a similar boat.
I know this girl, she's ridiculously beautiful, a full on 10/10 in my eyes, probably the prettiest girl I'll ever meet. She's very kind and we share very similar interests.
However, she's not very bright, pretty immature and she's a bit shallow, she often misinterpret what I say to her, our conversations die out pretty quickly because there's just nothing to talk about beside our interests which can only keep the fire going for a few minutes, I feel like she doesn't understand me, we share the same goals but have different views on life.
Sometimes we hang out for hours without saying a single word, we just sit around and enjoy each other's company, which is cute and all but I have a really hard time picturing the two of us in a relationship.
>>17237962
>but I have a really hard time picturing the two of us in a relationship
You're not and won't ever be in a relationship with her.
There's no such thing as a good personality.
Ugly peoo,
Bump, i'm in the same situation.
>>17237920
is she fat, OP?
I really don't understand how people can be this sort of shallow.
Like, not dating someone because of attraction issues, that's fine. Even if it's ridiculously petty, at the end of the day physical attraction is important.
But I really don't understand how you can get with someone, and THEN decide they're not physically up to snuff. How can you get with someone, bond with them, know them as a human being and build a relationship together, and THEN decide "eh, she's not exactly winning any beauty pageants"? It's just so backwards to me, and seems so crazy cold.
>>17237962
>>17237920
My husband has some features, looks wise I didn't want to see in my kids. But overall he still was very attractive for me, especially his natural body fragrance.
We have three kids and all three are just gorgeous. They neither have my round nor his long, neither his short nor my long nose.
They're the perfect average of both of us and we get very often told how pretty/handsome they are. Even from strangers and often out of the blue. (Chinese people took pictures of my daughter at an airport..... Others asked for pics with her. Also my kids ALWAYS get free stuff, even when ranomly walkig around. Still blows my mind, every single time.)
Well to be fair we got told a few times that they have good looking parents to begin with, so yeah. Thats my story.
>>17238440
>my round nor his long
face
>>17238440
>Even from strangers and often out of the blue. (Chinese people took pictures of my daughter at an airport..... Others asked for pics with her. Also my kids ALWAYS get free stuff, even when ranomly walkig around. Still blows my mind, every single time.)
Haha what the fuck where do you live that people literally give someone free stuff just for being pretty? I thought this was a myth. Taking pictures with them like they're some sort of tourist attraction? The fuck is this? What kind of person sees a nice looking kid and thinks "yeah, I gotta get a picture with that!"?
>>17238419
my gf wears really loose clothing. she does it because she's insecure about her body.
when we were just starting to date she voiced her concerns about her weight which i thought was fucking crazy. i always looked at her and lusted for her. she didn't look overweight at all when i was out with her.
it wasn't until i saw her naked for the first time that i understood what she meant. she certainly wasn't as fit as i imagined she was. it became clear that the loose clothing was very deliberate.
i honestly felt a bit deceived.
still love her and she's doing better about her diet and physical activity.
it happens doe
>>17238461
She said chinese people. If she traveled there in a more rural area i can understand.
They have basically no other races there and poor people never have seen such in their life. It is an attraction to them.
I traveled to Tien Men Shan in Zhangjiajie last year and people forced me to take tons of pictures with them. (guy, 24, not attractive)
>>17237920
Drop her. She deserves better than you.
>>17237920
They all end up hideous anyway. Might as well stick with one that has some lasting appeal.
>>17238461
>where do you live
Germany. Kids _sometimes_ getting free stuff is kinda part of our culture but not that excessive, like every single time!
The airport where the Chinese ppl took pictures was Istanbul airport while waiting for transfer and the place where ppl wanted to take pictures all the time was while at vacation in Turkey. Our kids are white skinned, blonde and green/blue eyed so I think they went crazy because most of them have tan skin and dark hair and eyes.
They always said something like how she looked like a doll.
>>17238516
>Kids _sometimes_ getting free stuff is kinda part of our culture
Also only if they interact with those people. Mine are like standing disinterested at the corner while i buy things and people walk up to them start smiling from ear to ear and give them free stuff.
>>17238502
lol, what is he doing wrong besides having preferences which he has no control over/
>>17237962
>Sometimes we hang out for hours without saying a single word, we just sit around and enjoy each other's company, which is cute and all but I have a really hard time picturing the two of us in a relationship.
>dat delusion
>>17238465
But anon doesn't loose clothing make people look even more fat???
>>17237920
Don't have kids with her.
/thread
>>17238539
You're a terrible parent, your kid is going to get v&
>>17238502
This.
>>17238502
She deserves someone who's head over heels with her and only says amazing things about her. Not this shitposting.
>>17238596
Of course I never let them get out of my sight. Once while shopping I couldn't spot my son for like 10 seconds because he ran off and searching for him was the longest 30 seconds of my life......
>>17238558
Nah I'm skinny and love loose clothing. It makes people think I'm anorexic even though my bmi is 18.
>>17238596
Idiot. Also
>using v& improperly
>>17238630
Are you insecure?
>>17238627
>mine are like standing disinterested at the corner while i buy things and people walk up to them
What do you mean when you say "the corner," then? This is crazy, I hope your kids don't get stolen because you let them think its OK to talk to random people on the street.
>>17238630
Doesn't it have the opposite effect on fat people, though? I'm chubby and I always look much fatter in loose clothing, that's why I stopped wearing it. Then again, maybe it's because my fat distribution is pretty weird (I'm very thin in the upper area of my body, I wear the smallest size T-shirts, but I have an ass and thighs.)
>>17238650
I know how its supposed to be used, but it fits. You would've looked smarter if you'd have said
>using v& improperly
Idiot.
Not saying why you believe someone has said something stupid is the mark of a stupid person.
>>17238663
no.
you look fat in your clothes cause you're fat.
loose clothing is traditionally used to hide your shape, namely from your torso and down. think of maternity clothes.
>>17238665
No anon didn't
>>17238654
>the corner
Sorry not native speaker. Meaning they are somewhere looking at candy or toys doing their own thing without even begging with their eyes.
Sometimes random old grandmas or just older women give em free stuff but mostly it's the store clerks. Like I've said it's kinda part of our culture for kids to _sometimes_ get free stuff especially if regular customer and when they have that cute "do want" look on their face. But man, every single time we get home from shopping or sometimes even only from walking and they look like they just got home from trick or treat.....
>>17238665
Nah. Still believing in the stranger danger myth marks you as stupid. Kids don't get stolen from the streets.
>>17238748
well, they do. just not very often.
>>17237920
well, are you happy being with her? you love her right?
the thing with kids is that if you love your partner, you will love your kid BECAUSE they remind you of the person you fell in love with.
i'll take my cats for example... they weren't this purebred, prize-winning kitties that cost hundreds of dollars; they're literally cats taken off the street with typical tabby patterns... and they are fucking lovely, which is all that matters. i'll look at other pretty/rare breed cats, but i'll always think my cats are the best because i love those little garbage diggers.
and i'd personally marry and still make uggo kids if my partner was the best person i could find in the world. like we might not be pretty, but we'll make damn sure to keep each other happy, and that's what matters most in the end as a family.
plus, my mom and dad were pretty hot when they were younger and married for practical reasons (wanted pretty kids, financial stability, etc.), but i had a fucking miserable life because their personalities clashed so much. try having the police called on your family a couple times because the shouting matches got so bad, your neighbors thought someone was gonna get killed... needless to say, my dad got the short end of the stick. don't get that short end op.
>>17238654
>because you let them think its OK to talk to random people on the street.
And yes, I'm quite concerned about that, espacially lately. Not trying to start political wars but with all the refugees around Germany isn't the country I grew up in anymore. It got worse gradually but since last year everything went completely downhill.
>>17238766
>with all the refugees
So your only concern is that you you want them to be raped by natives and not immigrants?
Wot?
>>17238766
Germany isn't the country I grew up in anymore
weirdly enough I perceived zero change of the likes you speak about. Then again I'm not afraid of people with a different skin colour than mine.
>>17238793
Kek
I know you know what I'm trying to say.
>>17238821
Well I think I really depends where your from. Munich suburban here.
Nobody in Germany is scared of different skin colours as we've always been a little diverse. I grew up with quite a few people of different races.
I think you don't know that 99% of the refugee here are young males who stare at me with the weirdest creepiest looks.
I wouldn't mind them if they minded their own business but they keep fucking staring at me even if im with my kids (who yell mom all the time) and obviously married/taken.
And I'm old enough to know what kind of stares they're sending me.
>>17238821
Besides crime rates are exploding. I don't really feel as safe anymore. You hear more and more stories from the neighbourhood...
>>17238461
It actually happens anon. I have the same thing happen with my son. I think its weird that someone would give him things too but hey its free.
>>17238700
maternity clothes aren't loose, they're tight with ruched sides to show off the belly
>>17238868
Crime rates are perpetually dropping and your neighbourhood stories are bs, scares, hearsay and at best anecdotal evidence. Fuck off to b/deutscher faden.
>>17238853
I'm a dude, so I won't get such stares. But my girlfriend hasn't said anything worrying at all.
Frankfurt City here, we also see a fair share of refugees.
>>17237920
If you feel this stronglt then it's probably best to break it off.
I swear there's been like 10 of these threads. Heats getting to you young 'uns.
>>17238757
you sound like a good person anon, I like you
>>17238748
I'm the anon you replied to, I know children get stolen because I was almost stolen as a child.
>>17238936
Why would the media make up criminal incidents?
And why should my neighbourhood moms lie to me about refugees who dropped their pants in front of them to show them their penis? Or about the one creeps up little school kids (they have their homes near a batch of schools) and tells them to masturbate and shows "how to"? Or the crowd at the refugee office who stared, smirked and obviously talked dirty about the mom who was obviously pregnant and with her little son that time?
>>17238942
I don't know. Maybe she's just not telling you because she doesn't want to upset you. I mean we've always had refugees and I grew up with one as my classmate and they were normal kind families. But this is just plain different. Everywhere these young and horny guys. We just can't feel safe wearing somewat "revealing" clothing during summer heat anymore. I really wonder how comes that you didn't notice any difference. Maybe Frankfurt didn't get any of the new batch? Maybe they act completely different around guys? Maybe I'm in a shit neighbourhood? Maybe you only got assigned normal families?
I need to move away from the city i grew up in and find playgrounds (also the one i used to play at. And yes they're over there when the weathers good, sitting and staring at kids and people, sometimes even drinking) new lakes and water parks where I can take my kids to.
It's just frustrating. Why can't they just be normal people with decent behaviour?
>>17238465
You sound.... Insufferable
>>17240125
>Why can't they just be normal people with decent behaviour?
Hmmm, it almost like the culture they came from matters.
>>17240125
I mean im not the dumb kind of gal who believes everything that media tells them and only watches her stupid TV shows (in fact I don't watch any TV actively only the kids). And I'm not someone who's afraid of the great unknown, because it's not something new for me to interact with refugees or people of other races. It's just what I observed and experienced myself.
>>17239069
Wat. Wtf. Story?
>>17238461
I was given lots of things when I was a kid... I live in south america, and was blonde and very white (in fact, almost red) when I was a kid.
>>17239069
Which makes it understandable that this matters to you. It still holds no significance to anyone else and calling someone a bad parent because of a past trauma you had to endure makes you a shitty person.
>you are the bad parent if you are overprotective b/c of your own shortcomings
They say actions speak louder than words. I would assume the same goes for looks compared to personality, is that a bad analogy? O well fuck it I tried.
Not to jack your thread, but I too have a relationship related question, I recently started talking and hanging out with this girl, we're very alike. We cuddle and fuck all the time, the only thing is, she has a kid. Like, what do I do? I know she wants me but she's too scared to spring the question, and honestly i wouldn't know what to say.
>>17237962
This sounds awful
Be glad you're not in this guys shoes, OP
>>17237920
I was in a similar situation where my gf's looks started to deteriorate and it was putting me off, but now that shes older she pulled a fast one on me and is one of the most beautiful women i know.
The thing is personality outlasts looks.
If i where you i wouldnt worry too much about it, if it does get too unbareable for you, you will cheat on her out of instinct.
>>17238553
>Why isn't he saying anything???
>>17240649
>its because he thinks you are as dumb as a brick
>>17240592
Why dont you just do whatever feels good and see where that takes you. If she wants a definite answer whether youll be with her for good, think on your feet and answer. Dont worry about it to much.
>>17240673
>oh... charming
>>17240125
>Why would the media make up criminal incidents?
They don't. But the media also doesn't bother explaining the context. (e.g. Crime rates by middle eastern refugees as compared to natives are rising b/c there simply are more of them here now; majority of crimes by refugees are indeed poverty crimes)
>And why should my neighbourhood moms lie to me about refugees who dropped their pants in front of them to show them their penis? Or about the one creeps up little school kids (they have their homes near a batch of schools) and tells them to masturbate and shows "how to"?
Again, something like this is called anecdotal evidence. I remember two instances like that in my life, both very much performed by "white" guys.
>Or the crowd at the refugee office who stared, smirked and obviously talked dirty about the mom who was obviously pregnant and with her little son that time?
This struck me as especially funny. I have a two year old son and sometimes forget that I am not supposed to act like he is with me when he is not. I then stare and smirk at pregnant women simply b/c I'm happy for them. Even the "obviously talked dirty" part could hold true if one of my russian friends was there with me and no one understood what I was saying to him. I'm white though, so ppl don't care.
>>>17238942 (You)
>I don't know. Maybe she's just not telling you because she doesn't want to upset you.
>She is not that kind of girl. Also I didn't say she doesn't tell me of any incidents, it's just not visible to me that refugees form an out of proportion amount of perpetrators.
>I mean we've always had refugees and I grew up with one as my classmate and they were normal kind families. But this is just plain different.
How?
>Everywhere these young and horny guys.
Yup doesn't matter where you go 13-24 y/o boys are always horny.
I actually feel that Italians and third generation Turkish immigrants are most vocal about their appreciation of German females, although that might just be connected to being generally a more vocal group of individuals. If you also feel like those don't belong into Germany you are too far gone for anyone to help you.
>It's just frustrating. Why can't they just be normal people with decent behaviour?
To summarize you are probably just projecting your own fears onto a group of people of whom many of them have seen actual hell and just want to live in peace. I'm not disputing that the societies they come from value women differently than we do and that this combined with their inability to relieve themselves of their sexual urges (housing conditions without privacy, males usually travel first, no quick/safe way for their female relatives to follow, no one dates a refugee, etc.) might lead to problems. BUT these are mostly homemade problems stemming from shitty immigration and integration policies by our inept politicians.
I guess you love this term so I will use it: rapefugees are not welcome. Not by me and not anyone else with a sound mind. But implying that stopping immigration will do as any good or believing you are still a human being if you allow little kids to die by exposure in Turkish refugee camps or drown in the Mediterranean Sea by the thousands is delusional.
I'll tell you man to man.
Don't listen to sjw kiddies
Get a chick on the side. The chick should look better than your wifey. Keep her for fun and to satisfy your dissatisfaction with her looks. It's what I do, and we've had a fantastic relationship so far. I wouldn't have more than 2 side chicks though, you'll get sloppy and get caught. Keep it at two or less. Trust me, if she felt the same way about you, she'd be fucking Chad thundercock. You might as well be fucking a 10/10. especially if you're not married. You have nothing to lose.
>>17240755
how. do you find the time, i mean not that my gf keeps tabs on where i am at all times but its hard to think of some excuse to dissapear for a couple of hours
>>17237920
the quality of the sex you're having matters much more than her looks and that quality is, if at all, only partially linked to that.
if u love her and have great sex, keep her.
>>17238465
MALE LOGIC
>demand women look their best 24/7
>mock ugly and fat women, or manipulate them into sex and then ghost
>has the audacity to be """decieved""" (baaaaw) when a woman looks like a human person instead of a doll in private
I wish I was a lesbian.
>>17241047
Me too anon. I'm just going to become a spinster instead. Men are just too much.
>>17240766
Time isn't hard to find. Just become busy. Don't give her every weekend you have, give her a day. Take another day for the side chick. Do y'all live together? If not, it should be cake.
>>17238465
She loooked better in loose clothes than naked? Thats unusual
>>17238465
>>17241047
Fuck, that post solidified that I'm just gonna stay celibate for the rest of my life. Disgusting potential partners at my most vulnerable would throw me off the deep end.
>>17238880
Older maternity clothes used to be loose bags.
>>17240755
Ugh thats gross
My bf cheated on me twice but the women were not as good looking as me. What does that mean? He said their personalities appealed to
Them because they seemed needy and looked up
To him.
I have sort of the opposite problem...
I have BDD and I have always had weird hangups about my body. Never had problem getting men but the mental problems got worse as I got older and stopped doing drugs to cover them up.
With my current bf I always felt very ugly, even though I can look at photos and see I am attractive and have men hit on me and tell me I look like barbie or I am so beautiful and want to take a photo. I don't like to dress sexual or wear a lot of makeup because male attention makes me uncomfortable, but I have internalized a lot of the stereotypes that only this kind of woman looks good.
I always feel like a dissapointment to my bf and he wants to have sex and kiss me a lot and I never feel good or into it. He told me he would never leave me but I have had these mental issues way before him and he cant fix them.
But I guess as a woman reading these posts or people talking about how they need sidechkicks I dont feel secure.
I could start wearing makeup and dress revealingly and fuck any dude in sight but would that make ME feel authentic? Or would it just make some social media pics where I can be like oh yea 10/10 makeup on fleek ....
The world
Is kind of gross now...
14 year old girls dressing and looking 20 something from sucking so much cock
I'm afraid my boyfriend is just like OP. I feel like I'm 1000 times too ugly to be with him.
I hope becoming really, really thin makes up for other things.
