I hate myself. I hate myself for not being wealthy, for not being charismatic enough, or funny enough, or attractive enough or smart enough. I hate myself for never being good enough for the women I'm attracted to and try to pursue. My lack of success with women makes me feel worthless, disconnected from the rest of humanity, and like I'm not really a man. I don't want to hate myself though. Am I not deserving of reciprocated love or mutual feelings of desire?
What's an unlovable mid-twenties KV student supposed to do?
>>17236899
>Am I not deserving of reciprocated love or mutual feelings of desire?
You are deserving, absolutely.
>My lack of success with women makes me feel worthless, disconnected from the rest of humanity, and like I'm not really a man.
You're a man. Sometimes a man has little or no success in the dating scene for the first two decades he spends trying. Have you been trying for two decades? If not, you're still improving. You're a work in progress. Give it time.
>I hate myself for never being good enough for the women I'm attracted to and try to pursue.
Don't hate yourself. Also recognize that you don't need a partner to be happy, or to be a worthy person. It's natural to want companionship, and it's natural to want the social status and self esteem that come with being a person in a relationship. But you don't need to be in a relationship to be a good person, a successful person, or a person worth respect. If you feel pressure to be in a relationship, give yourself permission to ignore it. Don't judge your worth by your relationship status, and don't let anyone else judge your worth by it, either.
>I hate myself for not being wealthy, for not being charismatic enough, or funny enough, or attractive enough or smart enough.
You can become more wealthy. You can become more charismatic, more funny, more attractive, and smarter. You can become all of these things, simply by making them priorities in your life, working on them diligently, and removing the things in your life that are not priorities and consume your time and energy. That, and patience. Developing as a person takes a long time. Whatever age you are now, add ten years. You wish you were a better version of yourself right now, but there is no path to that. There is, however, a path to a better version of the you ten years from now.
You are a work in progress. Have patience. And take a break from the dating scene.
>Am I not deserving of reciprocated love or mutual feelings of desire?
If your standards are unreasonably high, then no, you are not deserving. Put yourself in their shoes. Why should they settle for someone like you? Do you have any standout desirable traits? Or are you the very definition of "just another guy"?
Channel that hate into productive things. Work out, read, learn languages, pick up a sport. Only by improving yourself can you she'd the skin of this person you hate now.
>>17236899
Harness your hate; make it useful.
>>17236899
>Am I not deserving of reciprocated love or mutual feelings of desire?
I don't know what answer you expect here. There's nothing logical we can say: we can reassure you that "sure, you deserve to be loved", but if you wanted reassurance, you should have asked somewhere else.
>What's an unlovable mid-twenties KV student supposed to do?
Bury yourself in enough work, hobbies, and exercise to distract you from romance.
That's what the smart ones among us do, at least.
The others drink the pain away, get addicted to drugs, kill themselves, etc.
>>17237381
Romance doesn't actually work like that. The vast majority of people don't evaluate potential partners objectively, and relationships are very often quite lopsided in terms of traditional desirability.
>>17237365
Thank you for the kind words.
>>17237381
Hence the whole hating myself deal.
>>17237387
I work all the time and read things that most people probably care little about. I would work out more but I'm not eating enough to make gains due to various life problems making eating that much absurdly draining.
>>17237491
You don't work out for the muscle gains, work out for the cofidence gains. Stop giving excuses when you're complaining you're not good enough. Become better.
First thing you need to realize is that you are not a victim. Everything about you that you hate is what you've made for yourself.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you need to focus on improving yourself. If you don't like your body, set fitness & dieting goals. If you don't think you're wealthy enough, set career goals. Set tangible goals for yourself and work to achieve them. Nobody is going to do it for you; you have to do it yourself. You have the choice of accepting defeat, moping around and not changing a thing, or being proactive and working to improve your situation. Which do you think sounds better?
P.S. doing anything for the sole purpose of female attention is a terrible route to take. Do it for you - when you feel good about yourself because you achieved goals you worked hard for, the women will come with ease.
>>17236899
I'm going to tell you something that is 100% true, but most people will deny this.
Everyone hates themselves. Everyone.
You are not alone, I think humans are just programmed this way. People will deny it, and say they are happy, but they are lying. Most of the shitty things we do are in the name of silencing this self hate, but none of it actually works.
Group A hates Group B? It's because by saying Group B is "lesser than", Group A feels a little better about itself.
Bully? Picking on people makes them "less" than you, so at least you're not at the bottom of the totem pole.
Sex? "I hate myself, but if people fuck me, then I must have something going for me." I know tons of man-whores who have slain droves of pussy, and they are still sad on the inside. No woman ever makes herself happy slutting it up.
Money? If you make 50k, you feel good, for a minute, then you see the guy making 100k and feel like a loser. This never ends.
The world is a never ending game of better than and less than. If you play, you lose, because there is always a smarter, richer, more successful person who you will compare yourself to and feel like a failure.
You have to drop out. Your life is your own, and everyone elses experiences are immaterial, as how much {sex,money,etc} someone has makes no difference in your life.
Focus on what you want. Live only in the now, ignoring the past and future.
You are not unlovable.
