My girlfriend and I went out for a meal with friends the other day and at one point I went to the bathroom - I was away about two minutes. Anyway, whilst I was gone a male friend of my gfs who was out with the group started talking to her about some art project he's working on. Mid-way he just goes "So, how's your relationship with anon?" My gf replied "Great", but the dude just went "OH, that's surprising. Really? Wouldn't have thought that" in a non-sarcastic tone and pulled a :/ face before leaving.
We're dealing with a slightly mad beta-orbiter here, it seems. My gf told me about it when we got home. I just said "That's a fucked up thing to say to a friend, really. Seems like a dick move - he's odd". I didn't want to overtly call him out as liking her, but I feel like I wasn't strong enough in deterring her away from spending any time with him or letting her know his true intentions.
How do I deal with beta-orbiters better in future? I know you have to tread a fine line between showing what they are, but also not insulting her friends. Usually I just ignore them, but this one got under my skin.
>>17234840
Best thing to do is just ignore him, as you said you usually do. The last thing you want is for your girl to think youre insecure. He'll call it quits eventually if hes not too retarded
>>17234865
This. Simply ignore it. If you show in any way that you're threatened by him, it will only look bad on you. Your girlfriend is probably smart enough to judge a guy and know his intentions - you don't need to spell it out for her. Let him orbit. At the end of the day it's your dick she'll be taking. You can even be extra affectionate (but not too obviously) in front of him just to piss him off. It actually sounds kind of fun to me.
>>17234865
>>17234878
Alright - cool. Do u think my response conveyed any insecurity? I haven't introduced myself to him yet. been toying with the idea of kissing my girlfriend in front of him, then giving him a firm handshake and a smile.
>>17234889
Your response was fine. No need for firmness or any calling out. Just leave it be. Kissing your girlfriend in front of him right before a firm handshake sounds a little ostentatious to me - if a guy did that to me I would immediately know what's going on. Just be cordial with him, but you have to be subtle if you're going to fuck with him.
Playfully grab her ass when you know he's watching, make her laugh, etc. to make him jealous, but if you're too obvious he will know you view him as competition - which you don't - and that will just stroke his ego
>>17234912
Alright, thanks. my gf and i aren't too into PDA, but maybe I'll whisper something naughty in her ear and watch her bite her lip - that might rustle.
>>17234840
yes betas will do that. and thats their job irritate you enough so that you will leave and he has her all to himself. best thing to do is ignore them.
when he gets a sense of self worth or you and her start to talk of marriage, he will move on.
he is a complete dick-move. best thing for you and her relationship is stop inviting him with you. he will get the hint (eventually) that he is the 3rd wheel.
>>17234978
Okay, cool, this is what I figured. Yeah, we didn't invite him, we were out with mutual friends. My gf has to work on him and some others on a short film soon, hopefully he'll piss her off enough that she throws him to the curb; she seemed pissed off by him.
I think you and your girlfriend handled this fine, but I also think there's an element of insecurity here, based on how much this bothers you.
>>17235141
Exactly. You need to nip this in the bud ASAP OP. It's not going to be the last time some guy tries going for your girl. You should let her handle things herself and not worry about it. If you were really secure in yourself and your relationship, something as small as this would be a complete non-issue
>>17235141
>>17235158
OP here - agreed. I always hide my insecurity well, but it's still an issue. Normally it won't bother me, but my mental health has been shit the past month. I'll work on it, somehow.
>>17235372
>I always hide my insecurity well
Maybe it's about time you addressed it then.
>>17235397
Working on it, this isn't a common issue, but it needs nipping in the bud.
