Sounds like you're anxiety has more to do with the fear of all eyes being on you and social anxiety, than a fear of commitment. You aren't scared of being with him....you're scared of the social expectations of the relationship...ie meeting people or being on display. Just my take on it. I'd recommend seeing a therapist and having them help pinpoint what it really is. Even if it is a fear of commitment, that typically is due to an insecurity within YOURSELF...but instead of trying to work through that you are projecting it onto your boyfriend and trying to find flaws in him. Sounds like you just need to work on your confidence and loving yourself. The rest would likely improve after.

>>17231624
Are you terrified of commitment, or terrified of how others will perceive your choice of man that you committed to?

Now, you really shouldn't care about what your mother and family think, because ultimately they should only care about whether or not you are happy - so if your bf isn't abusive or controlling (or some other major negative) and it doesn't seem like he is, then it's purely about whether he makes you happy.

So, does he make you happy? Is he a genuinely nice person?

As for friends, those are irrelevant. I have next to no friends, and neither does my gf, and neither of us are bothered by it. I mean, what exactly are friends to your relationship? People with stories, at best. And your family can fill that role too.

Lastly, how old are you? You mentioned his age, but didn't mention your own, which makes it seem off-hand like there is a age difference worth noting. Might explain your feelings, so thought I would ask.

>>17231648
that could be it, ive never been really good with a lot of people around me. i can put up a good impression for the first 5 minutes, but i'd try to make an excuse to leave or fade afterwards. my boyfriend is obviously a lot more social and normal than i am, and i guess that's what makes me insecure. i have no idea how to keep up with his energy around people and i'm afraid i'm bringing him down and that he'll someday resent me for it.

i've never been to a therapist, but i guess its about time i tried. i'm too old for these problems i think...

>>17231680
>Are you terrified of commitment, or terrified of how others will perceive your choice of man that you committed to?
a bit of both maybe... he is white and i'm asian. when i used to have friends, i would get shit on for having a white bf. culturally and socially we're both kind of different and have different expectations, but we do work it out as we go along... sometimes i feel like he's from a whole nother planet.

i mean, he was raised more in a wild partying environment and was into being thuggish and stuff until he decided he's too old for that... i'm more used to being shut-in and enjoying my korean mmo's and if i ever went out with friends, it would be to shop for cute things or cook together or something...

he is though, a very kind and genuinely good person. it's just... when i think of weddings, i don't have anyone i could invite to it other than my family. my friends never really last and i'm scared this would be a red flag to him, which he could be perfectly right about... because i always knew i wasn't really typical as a person and maybe something is wrong with me since i can't keep friendships longer than a couple years...

i'm 24 years old, so about a 5 year difference...

>>17231781
Ok, age difference is notable but not extreme. Might be adding to your anxiety, but shouldn't be a real problem.

Race shouldn't factor in - upbringing can a little, but you learn to accept the differences (speaking from experience, white guy with Dutch born girlfriend, but she actually Indonesian, and we have been together 8 years now.)

And only someone insecure would worry about their gf not having friends.

How much does he know about you? All the Korean MMO's etc? If he doesn't know yet, start telling him more about yourself and let him decide if you are "strange". I doubt it will change much personally, you seem very nice and he doesn't sound like a jerk, so you seem like a good match.

Your boyfriend knows all this about you though and still likes you. He's obviously proud of you and wants to show you off. He wants to meet your family because he wants the opportunity to win them over. Sounds like he really likes you and that you realize your insecurities are irrational. And also since you described physical symptoms of anxiety and most of your insecurities are social, something like xanax might do wonders for you. If you could just relax and lose some of that inhibition, you might realize you actually like being social just as much as he does without the anxiety holding you back.

>>17231624
>my mom already hates him without ever meeting him because he's not the 6', model-tier handsome, rich, harvard genius, disney prince with a perfect, well-off and in-tact family even though our own family is basically a failure in all those aspects

what the actual fuck are you the last vagina on earth or something? what is so great about you that you deserve a guy like that.

>>17231828
>>17231833
the age gap isn't too bad, it's just i guess he's more ready to settle down than i am which kind of makes me feel like i might be wasting his time by being so unsure and scared...

he's very accepting and he loves new foods and is interested in learning, so that's always great... it's just the asian side tends to be more traditional and racist. in my experience, white people have always been very accepting of different races, and his family is very warm and kind.

he actually knows about what i was like when i was younger because i told him right away since i didn't want him to have a warped image of me, and he was very receptive about it mostly because he knows i'm not the promiscuous type... plus he swears he's nerdier than me and that he's more socially anxious which i don't believe at all... i just hope i'm not too boring for him and cause him to resent me somehow...

i do like to socialize, especially with people i feel comfortable with (usually they're as timid as i am, and that's when i can really open up) but when i'm surrounded by people like my boyfriend, it gets a lot more intimidating. i try to avoid drugs if i can, but thanks for the suggestion

and thank you, talking about this helps me sort my thoughts a little and makes me feel less anxious.

>>17231869
i don't know, my mom always had unrealistic expectations when it came to men... i'm actually terrified about my bf meeting her because i know she'll be really rude to him, especially since he doesn't have a lot of money.