Is drinking around your kid always inherently traumatising? My family keeps giving me shit about being drunk around my daughter, but my dad was drunk a lot when I was a kid, too, and it didn't do me any particular damage.
My daughter is eight and way smarter than some kids twice her age, and I've never been aggressive or abusive or raised my voice at her. Is this just my mother being her own neurotic self and being worried about how things look instead of how they are, or do they actually have a point?
Is consuming alcohol around children inherently harmful, or is it the fear of an unpredictable adult spontaneously going full retard and turning violent?
My mom is borderline alcoholic, so seeing her drink every night just makes me annoyed and dislike being around her. It's not traumatizing, but it could potentially make your kid not want to be in your company very often when you're drunk.
>>17230309
If she doesn't like being around me, I haven't seen any sign of it yet. She's laying right next to me on the living room floor doing her homework right now.
How do you tell if a kid hates you?
>>17230280
>but my dad was drunk a lot when I was a kid, too, and it didn't do me any particular damage
Well, you drink around your child, this could very easily become damaging to her children if its normalized in her mind depending on the kind of drunk she turns out to be. Drinking at the table every once in a while (and even offering her a glass when she reaches an appropriate age in your eyes, probably above 16 at the least) can make drinking something that she won't do as a form of rebellion but it really depends on the amount and how intoxicated you become. If your family is bugging you about drinking around her you're probably drinking too much/too often.
>>17230280
if you are the only person responsible for her welfare at a given time you should probably not be drunk around her for that time. Drink, sure, but not drunk.
Consuming alcohol is not inherently damaging or traumatic to anyone except that particular consumer.
>>17230326
She's adopted so there's no telling of her family history/genetic disposition or whatever, but I let her have a sip whenever I'm drinking something, so she knows that wine and beer taste nasty. I deliberately choose stuff that wouldn't taste good to a kid because of this, so nothing sweet or funny flavoured.
I wouldn't have her getting drunk at that age, or buy booze for her to drink without my presence (white trash neighbourhood). My dad was only a hazard for the stupid shit he did blackout (leaving a toilet paper roll on a hot stove, etc) and I couldn't imagine getting that goddamn drunk.
I know my mother worries about something like that, she was married to the stupid fuck for 20 years.
>>17230280
>my dad did it to me so I do it to my kid
What a fucking moron!
>>17230345
Dad's drinking wasn't traumatising. The tension caused by mom yelling at him for it instead of just divorcing his ass was what was.
Besides, a bottle of wine is not the same thing as "no memory from the past 3 weeks". It helps me relax and be a lot more functional than any antipsychotics or other bullshit a psych would put me on.
>>17230345
>He didn't read the post or thread at all
What a fucking moron!
Anyway, OP, fuck what you're mom is saying. My dad was a drunken idiot for all of my childhood and most of my teenage years. I'm not going to say that I'm completely normal, but his drinking isn't a direct relation to my problems. You sound like you're just drinking, not getting drunk so you have nothing to worry about. Just explain alcohol to her when she's old enough to understand and try taking >>17230326 's advice and letting her drink in your presence when she gets old enough to want to. It makes the act less rebellious and taboo, and it ensures that she doesn't act like an idiot.
>>17230417
I might down a whole bottle of wine sometimes and maybe drop a fork or forget to shut a window, but she understands what alcohol is. There's a lot of drunks wandering around this time of the year, children do see alcohol being used and abused.
A lot of kids around here seem to grow up to think that alcohol makes people act like pigs, but she does understand it just lowers inhibitions. People who do bad things when they're drunk are just bad people to begin with. Considering her background I've had to start explaining the nature of evil to her pretty early.
>>17230280
>my dad was drunk a lot when I was a kid, too, and it didn't do me any particular damage.
>it's just that now I follow in his footsteps like a mirror image, constantly drunk around my own child
Do you want your daughter to be exactly the same when she grows up? Do you not understand the importance of setting an example? Did it not occur to you that the world can be much, much crueler to a young woman with a drinking problem than a young man?
>>17230478
I can drink and be calm and in a good mood, or I can be a constant anxious disaster. I don't need to terrify my daughter like that.
The home I have for her is not like the home I grew up in. The house is clean, nobody is screaming, her school work gets checked and I make sure she's clean and brushes her teeth.
I don't know what her chances of having a genetic disposition to alcoholism is, but anxiety is a learned behaviour and I don't want to set that kind of an example.
She knows there are dangerous people and situations in the world. I might not be there to defend her but she knows she's allowed to defend herself.
>>17230280
>Is drinking around your kid always inherently traumatising?
>being drunk around my daughter
>my dad was drunk a lot when I was a kid, too
>didn't do me any particular damage.
Go stand in front of a mirror and say those lines out loud to yourself.
>>17230517
I'm not as damaged as my dad was. He was not as damaged as his dad was. It gets better.
I'm still better than a chinese gutter and it's not like they could just send her back.
>>17230524
>still better than a chinese gutter
Aim high drunk whore.
Aim high.
Well, it might kind of undermine your authority. Otherwise, I don't see what how it could be bad except that she will probably also drink when she grows up.
Also I don't know how drunk you get but you should be sober and able to protect your daughter in case something happens when she is with you. When you drink are you fast enough to react if, say, the bookshelf tips over on her head? Or someone tried to grab her? I don't mean you should be on high alert all the time and never drink but you definitely shouldn't be impaired most of the time.
>>17230280
Stop being a fucking drunk around your kid you fucking idiot. Yes it is damaging, I know several people who grew up around drunkard parents that didn't necessarily beat them or anything and they are fucked up about drinking and feel personally responsible for their parents being drunks. When you have a kid its time to stop being a weak bitch and man the fuck up and set the best example you can for your kid.
