How can I be more grateful for the things I have, /adv/? Why is it that the things I have accomplished feel like something that's already past me, something that needs not be remembered or thought about, while the things I want are always on my mind and I constantly dwell on them?
It's not something that you can "just do" either. I've tried consciously thinking about the stuff I'm grateful for, and I can come up with a few things.. but, it's more like something I realize that makes my life better, or something that life would suck without. However, I don't actually FEEL grateful for those things, I only UNDERSTAND things would suck without them. When I think about a me without <thing I should be grateful for>, it's the same kind of apathetic feeling I get when, for example, thinking about the starving kids in Africa. It must really suck for them, and I wouldn't want to be in their shoes, but I don't REALLY care that much. They are thousands of miles away from here, and I don't see them suffering every day, it doesn't directly influence me, so I can't really have empathy for them.
On the other hand, my wants and desires are something I FEEL, I realize some of them are not even going to make my life better and are just stupid dreams, but yet, I still long for them really badly. I cry sometimes because of this shit.
And even thinking about the past, I often really long to go back to those times and I feel like everything was so much better back then compared to how it is now. I know that a few years from now I'll be thinking that what I'm experiencing right now were "the good times", yet, I can't seem to enjoy this moment in the present at all. Basically, I can logically conclude that I'm living a good life right now, but I still don't feel satisfied or content with it, always want to change something, always feel like the grass is greener on the other side.
What do, /adv/? I feel like this is not a healthy mindset, but I don't know how to go about changing it.
assuming you are healthy, are you grateful for that? you could get in an accident tomorrow and lose both your legs. you will learn to be grateful once you lose something you value.
also how can you logically conclude that you are living the good times now if you are not happy
>>17230011
Yes, I realize that, and being healthy is something I should be grateful for. But I'm still not any happier from this realization, it's not a feeling, I don't get that warmth in my chest from thinking this.
Maybe I will be grateful once I lose something, but I think I've already lost some things that I only realized were important to me after they were no more. However, this only makes me want to go back to the time I had those things, rather than appreciate what I got instead of them - the things I have now.
>also how can you logically conclude that you are living the good times now if you are not happy
If a starving kid from Africa suddenly was put into my position, they would be the happiest person on earth. Alright, I guess comparing life situations like that isn't really fair, but even then - I still conclude that from the things I want out of life that I can list, I already have most of those things right now - yet I'm not grateful for it. Also I'm not really unhappy - I just feel nostalgic and think sometimes about the things I don't have, but it's not like I'm totally depressed or anything. However I feel I should be more satisfied with my life than I am right now.
>>17230048
being grateful is just a gentle reminder that things could be worse and you shouldn't take what you have for granted because you could lose it at any point. try to visualize your life after losing something you really value. your life from just a moment ago will seem nostalgic and better to you. realize that your life could turn to shit at any moment and be grateful that it hasn't
>>17230156
I've tried visualizing it, but I can't seem to convince my brain that it's something real - I mean, the thing I visualized didn't actually happen to me, and while there's certainly a possibility of me losing <thing> in the future, it hasn't happened yet. So, I still don't feel nostalgic about my current life, or grateful for it.
But what you are saying.. do you mean that gratefulness isn't something you can really feel? It's just a reminder that things could be worse.. So, it's not something that could really make you happy about your current life, but is more of a reminder to not be too arrogant?
I guess the real problem, then, is how do I stop living in a daydream? As I said, I believe I should be quite satisfied with my current life, but I often daydream about going back to my childhood, when everything was new, mysterious, and exciting, or think how moving to <place> would make everything so much better. I fantasize about being praised for doing something amazing, feeling the warmth of achieving my dreams after putting in a ton of hard work into them...
That's great and all, but we live life day-by-day, we can only experience a single pixel at a time of a bigger picture that is our whole life. How can I stop focusing on the moment of me achieving something, and feel satisfied at the end of every day by working towards that goal instead?
