I
m 18. My girlfriend is 17 and has been talking to her 24 year old ex quite a bit recently.
I've been dating her since February, they broke up in January after dating a year; from what I know they broke up because the distance was getting to be too much for them (He lives in a town about an hour from us) and she dumped him.
After they broke up, she didn't tell him we started dating, but he kept trying to get back with her. To her credit she denied him every time and told him "stuffs changed", which I always assumed meant she no longer has feelings for him. They've never seen each other since they broke up.
She was spending the night with me the other night and I noticed around 1 in the morning she was texting him while were watching Netflix. Curiosity got the best of me and when she was asleep I read through their texts.
It was mostly innocent, talking about work and their days; but towards the end of their conversation I noticed the following
Her: It doesn't matter anymore since you're over it
Him: Who said I'm over it?
Her: Seems that way.
Him: Are you over it or does a part of you miss us?
Her: I'm not quite sure. Her: But it doesn't matter. It's in the past. You're over it.
Him: Let's say I'm in the same boat as you.
Her: That's helpful.
After that, they agreed what they had was great and the only bad part was the ending. He ended their conversation with "The ending we had doesn't have to be our ending."
She only replied with "mmm yeah maybe"
I really don't know what to make of this. Since that night her and I spent every waking moment together but I have a bad feeling.
If he was asking for advice here I think everyone would tell them she's just liking the attention from him and has no real intention of meeting up but...her birthday is coming up soon and I know the age thing and distance were her biggest qualms and neither of those are factors anymore.
Someone talk me through this?
Surprise! You're a rebound!
>He's 24
>She's 17
dude what the fuuuuck. At best your gf dated a sexual predator and at worst, your gf dated a sexual predator AND IS STILL TALKING TO HIM. He fucking straight up told her he wanted to get back with her and she didn't tell him to fuck off. Why are you still with her?
>looking through people's phones to read their texts
Dude this relationship is doomed. if you mistrust her enough to do that you should just get out. She's gonna fuck him
>>17228707
Not OP, but my friend's parents started dating at those ages and 30 years on, they're still together.
>>17228693
You're just filling the void, OP. I'm sorry, but she's not going to stick around. When I was at that age, I was already dating my husband, and I had people from the past messaging me. You know what I did to ex-boyfriends and people that tried to make moves on me? I told them to fuck off, because I have more respect for my partner than that.
>>17228707
Sorry, but he's not a sexual predator if she's 17. She's not some innocent, naive little thing that doesn't know what she's doing. I had the exact same age difference with my husband when we were young and dating.
>>17228713
i mean if you want to go explain that to the judge when your underage gf's parents call the cops on you, be my guest.
>>17228727
17 isn't underage in most countries if we're talking age of consent, and dating a 17 year old isn't illegal either.
>>17228707
>>17228723
She turns 18 in a week. In our state, 17 is the law for statutory rape no longer applying. What's worse is that her parents knew about it and while they were uncomfortable they did nothing to stop it.
I know the age made her scared people would judge him for it so I've been telling her it was weird of him to be with her. She was always scared he would leave her for someone his own age once he had fun.
It seemed like he was really in love with her.
>>17228716
>>17228699
If she wanted to be with him, wouldn't she be with him by now? He's been barking up her tree a while.
>>17228734
>If she wanted to be with him, wouldn't she be with him by now?
Maybe not. Maybe she can't think of an excuse to leave you.
>>17228732
>dating a 17 year old isn't illegal either.
i don't know where you're from, but yes it is if you're 24. You cannot say that it is not weird for a 24 year old dude, with years of life experience, who is an established adult, to be dating what is essentially a child still in high school who doesn't know what responsibility is. So maybe 1 in 300 made it work. Good for them. i'm talking about the other 299.
>>17228746
Where are you from that a 24 year old dating a 17 year old is illegal? It might be illegal for them to have sex in some countries, but dating alone isn't an issue.
>>17228734
>If she wanted to be with him, wouldn't she be with him by now? He's been barking up her tree a while.
She's enjoying the attention of an older guy, which could eventually lead to something that could hurt you.
>>17228753
I'm in CA. Also, who the fuck thinks that a 24yr old who's dating a 17yr old isn't totally fucking her?
>>17228782
If he cares about not being in jail, he'll wait. A lot of people do that.
>>17228782
True dat. Here's Tyga (25) and Kylie Jenner (17 at the time).
Of course it didn't work out, and everyone knows Tyga destroyed that pussy
>>17228768
They dated already though. She broke up with him. Clearly his attention wasn't enoug
>>17228792
>They dated already though. She broke up with him. Clearly his attention wasn't enoug
It doesn't matter. A young girl like that is going to revel in the power she holds over different men because it's new to her.
>>17228782
Some people don't, because they care about more than just sex. And some people don't live in a country where 17 is underage to begin with.
Like it or not, a 17 year old dating a 24 year old is not illegal.
>>17228693
Break up with her before you get cucked my man, find someone that isn't going to grow up to be some trashy slut.
>>17228800
Alright, so in some places maybe it is not illegal. i still think it is a red flag. OP even said the girl's parents were uncomfortable with it. It sort of tells you a lot about her ex's thought process and maturity along with the retarded text exchange op posted. this thread isn't about your friend's parents who made it work. it's about op's gf and her idiot creep ex
>>17228812
Uncomfortable, but didn't stop it. From what she told me, they initially didn't like it but he sat down and had a conversation with them about it when I pressed the issue because I was curious.
He had a whole speech about understanding their misgivings and that the age gap shouldn't be ignored. He outlined his intentions and how much he cared about her but told them if they needed it for their own well being he would end things with her.
It would be one thing if they met on like fucking tinder or something but they met because of a shared hobby. They were in a writing workshop together, discovered they liked the same books...same games...even the same really niche musical artists.
She also told me she had to break up with him because he wouldn't go further than oral with her until her birthday and she didn't feel like he was serious about their relationship because he didn't have sex with her
>>17228830
Not gonna lie, he sounds like a pretty decent guy
Girl here, and as someone who has been the victim of "You were just a rebound", I'd say starting to date you a month after breaking up with someone else is the cause of all this. Of course she will still have feelings for him, she didn't have time to fully process it and learn once and for all that things wouldn't have worked out, so now she's wondering (I mean if she is, it sounds like he sure is). If she is with you, I would leave it alone for a bit, unless things start getting toi suspicious. Chances are she's happy with you, and just needs to remember that. Good luck OP.
>>17228869
What are some flags you'd look for then for suspicious activity?
>>17228830
Now when she reaches the age 18 she'll finally get to fuck him. Get out of that relationship right away man
>>17228693
>she no longer has feelings for him
women where literally design to become emotionally attach to the man she is having sex with and she will always have some attachment to him on her back of her mind.
>>17228912
She isn't having sex with him
>>17228914
She's definitely thinking about it.
>>17228914
I still don't think women can just easily get over their past lovers because they build stronger emotional memories then men and they probably evolve this strong attachment because they need men for survival. I am sure if you put those two together their would be some sexual tensions between the two.
>>17228892
If she starts getting more secretive about her phone, if she can't hang out and you suspect she's hanging with someone else and she won't tell you where she's going.
As for the "emotionally attached to someone she's had sex with", only if there were feelings, and feelings pass. Not every ride is attached to feelings.
>>17228983
Do you think I should talk to her about it or do you think she's just using him for attention?
>>17228988
Maybe you could just casually say, "I saw a text come up from your ex the other night, is he still bothering you?" that way you aren't putting any suspicion on her, but can guage her reaction.
Just fucking ask her. And if she is unsure whether she wants to be with you, dump her and move on. It will happen sooner or later anyway.
As soon as she'd old enough for him she's gone
>>17230152
You don't know that.
>>17228693
This thread was done in one.
>>17228699
>Surprise! You're a rebound!
Just accept it. You're both young and stupid. Don't break up with her right away, but brace for impact.
>>17228723
17 is a child. The brain doesn't stop developing until around the age of 25. She has almost a decade left of brain development, he's pretty much done. I live in a country where the age of consent is 15, but men who date 15-year-olds are treated like pedophile scum socially. The law isn't everything.
