Hey /adv/
22, only had one 'girlfriend', and our relationship was kind of from the start a mix of man to woman and strong friendship.
I was really confident when I met her, but my overall lack of confidence and childish personnality cut down all the sexual tension between us.
Now, we are friends.
She is fucking another guy.
And I can't seem to swallow that we don't have sex anymore, we don't kiss or hug, and there's no relationship vibe anymore..
I love her, I like being with her, but I feel like I have lost my penis, and she wore the pants. Now we're friends, she's sleeping behind me right now, and I know she's fucking another guy, she told me, she's never lied to me, and she's the person (except my family) who cares about me most.
She's always tried to help me become better, she's been really sweet towards me, and I feel like I have neglected our relationship and her, and that she kind of resented me inside for it. I carried a lot of insecurities regarding sex, thus I never fucked the shit out of her with proud and confidence, I think my way of making love has been clingy and really soft compared to the range of things I would like it to go to.
Anyway. Thoughts on this ?
am feeling jealous of the fact that she's fucking another guy, and I feel ashamed and I pity myself for the situation I'm in right now.
I need to stop letting my insecurities dictate my life and to build up my masculine vibe. I don't know how to handle this jealousy.
I never seem to push towards the goals I set myself, I always self sabotage and make excuses and then blame myself for it and keep doing it.
I feel like a child.
Wat do ?
You definitely are a cuck
You either need to just randomly grab her and fuck the shit out of her, or tell her very clearly that you can't be her friend. Sorry bro, you'll continue to feel like shit if you don't and eventually explode anyway.
>>17228337
I think I wouldn't have minded that she had sex with other guys if we had sex ourselves, but the fact that now we don't and she does is hard.. but I think I could overcome it. I could be her friend if I had other girls with whom I could enjoy a sexual relationship. And if I could pick among lots of girls, moreover. but I haven't brought myself to the mindset of doing so.
She knows I'd never be 'just friends' with her.. but I still want to make that kind of friendship work. Though I do feel kind of wrong doing that, because it hurts my ego, but I feel good doing it, because if I can make peace with this situation I'd be so happy. I feel like I would have ended a kind of karmic cycle in which I am stuck and understood a profound lesson.
Am I crazy ?
The first poster is kind of right, but as far as nuances go the advice needs to be weaved in finer cloth.
You should just wake her up and throw yourself at her, but you won't, and if you tried you wouldn't be ready.
You need to get ready. Not with her, at least not until you've learnt to pull your socks up. You say you blame yourself, and so you should. The good news is that this will become incredibly powerful once you get it: The power and control over your predicament lies with you, my friend.
You didn't fuck her the way she needs to be fucked, it's as simple as that. And the way you act around her, or any other woman, subconsciously informs them that you won't be able to. The devil is in the details, and the key word is 'act'. Even with naturally confident guys it's still an act. The struggle will be larger for guys like you and me, but having it come natural comes with a cost that you will avoid, and that's the frustration that comes with rejection for guys who aren't used to it. When you get rejected you can take it inwardly, and there you have the opportunity to let go of it more harmoniously.
You must go in a journey of discovering your inner stage performer. Fake it til you make it. It will show results. Most guys you spot out in the dating game knows this. I was petrified before I walked up to the stunning blonde at the club last Friday, but I got her number in less than ten minutes. Start working today, and one day you'll be like me.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
>>17228357
Yes, you are devaluing yourself and undermining your natural inclinations because you don't want to be left without her. This is really the crux of your problem, that you are insecure, probably because you have been taught to be submissive and "nice", while there's a fire raging inside you.
Following a path like that WILL lead you to resentment, self-hatred and disgust. Mark my words.
>>17228387
Thanks.
>>17228389
Well.. I guess I have been taught/taught myself to be submissive and nice.. I have trouble getting angry, feeling anger and allowing it to be felt, I've repressed it a lot I think. Though I want to still have a relationship with her, even though it's friendship, she's a wonderful human being and I won't be able to cut ties with her, I don't want to it doesn't feel right at all. But it does wake me up to the fact that situation is way out of what I intended and that I'm living my life half consciously and in a kind of mediocre way.
