Hey /adv/ i need your help.
A year ago I joined the Navy thinking it would change my life for the better. A year later im depressed,suicidal and now have constant anxiety attacks.
I havent talked to anyone about it. Not even my parents for fear i will look like a total pussy loser. I was a loser before i joined and now my parents are really proud of me.
Im also afraid if i go seek help. I'll get discharged and have trouble finding a decent job ever again.
What should i do? I want to tough it out but im afraid this is only going to get worse for me.
>pic unrelated of course
>>17227428
>im depressed,suicidal and now have constant anxiety attacks.
Is this an issue you had before you joined?
>I havent talked to anyone about it.
Not good, you need a way to vent and have support.
>>17227428
Whst about the navy caused this?
>>17227441
I had minor anxiety attacks after a motorcycle accident. It got worse when i started smoking weed to relax myself.
After i joined they went away. But for some reason they are back and i cant really talk to anyone. Its giving me really bad insomnia.
>>17227448
Mostly me being on my own. I also work in the medical field so its added stress for me since i have someones life on my hands
>>17227452
Weed can sometimes do that. In regards to you not wanting to talk to anyone, that's up to you.
Do you want to continue feeling this way?
Your health is more important than any future job potential.
>>17227452
Why does being on ur own bother you? Look inward and see what caused this to bother u. Why does having someones life in ur hands bother you? Do u lack confidence? If yes, why?
>>17227462
I really wish i could go and see a psychiatrist and get help. But thats not possible in the military.
And I feel like if i go back to what i was doing before i joined id never forgive myself for quitting and feel like a failure. And whats the point on living if everything i do ends in failure?
>>17227470
Yes i do lack confidence. I came into boot camp confident and ready but i ended up fucking up a lot. Pretty soon my whole division hated me. So now I feel like i can never do anything right with out being babied by someone. And im afraid i might make a medical error and kill someone.
Its also made me really insecure and now makes me really care about what people think of me.
>>17227489
Some people are not cut out for certain things. It doesn't make you a failure. Some people drop out of college for example and still end up being happy with what they're doing in life.
>>17227499
It seems im not cut out for anything.
My lifes goal being little was to make it in football. I never played a down in varsity high school football because of my size and the fact i was too injured prone.
I barely passed high school
I couldnt really hold a job
And now it seems i cant make it in the military.
I have nothing.
>>17227511
>My lifes goal being little was to make it in football
Mine was to be a baseball player. Guess what? I'm not.
>I barely passed high school
Same as myself
>I couldnt really hold a job
More people than you think have that issue
>it seems i cant make it in the military.
You are trying and at least attempted it
>I have nothing.
You still have hope and the chance at change.
>>17227511
Have you tried improving ur skills? Like practice everyday?
>>17227529
Maybe you are right. But i really dont know what to do with my life. Was another reason why i joined. It seems like everytime i try to change i end up losing it. My self-esteem and confidence is at an all time low.
If i go to see someone about it. I will most likely be seen as weak by my shipmates.
>>17227532
I cant really practice my job skills outside of the hospital or school house. And im always busy so i just come home and cool off for a couple of hours before going to bed.
>>17227551
You're only weak if you give up on yourself. A sign of strength is confronting an issue and dealing with it as opposed to surrendering to it. You shouldn't be worried about when people perceive you as 'weak'. It's your happiness that counts, not theirs in the long run.
>>17227568
Your right. If this keeps up ill definitely see someone about it.
In the meantime do you have any recommendations on how to boost my confidence and self esteem? If i work on these two things i feel like i'll make it.
>>17227594
Know that you wouldn't be where you are unless you did something right in the first place. Understand that your low feelings are temporary and that with some effort on your part you will be well.
>>17227623
I needed this talk. Thank you.
>>17227428
Should have went 0311 marines. Infrantry is the only way to go these day brother
>>17227756
I was hoping to go 8404 and be stationed greenside with the marines.
You know be a devil doc and all.
>>17227668
You're welcome.
