>>17226953
just go on the date? people have bad dates, it's not the end of the world if they happen. plus "chunky" girls are very appreciative, if you know what I mean.

>>17226953

1. The girl in the pic looks really nice.

2. Telling her to wait 3 weeks for you when you weren't even interested in her was a huge dick move.

3. You said that you had a nice time with her , so all you care about is looks then... dick

4. If you are not interested in a long term relationship just tell her that and apologize for being a dick telling her to wait 3 weeks

Sorry for calling you a dick but from what you wrote that is how I feel about you OP atm

>>17226981

What I don't want to do is go on the date and have it go well and get her hopes up when really I'm just not that much into it.

I have a hard time getting it up for chunky girls. My last girlfriend was about the size as pic related, maybe a little bigger, because I was trying to "not be shallow," and I just wasn't enjoying our time in the bedroom. Or how much she constantly ate.

>>17226982

1. If it was actually Milana Vayntrub, with the same face and everything, yes, I'd be all about it. But it's not... I just needed a body size comparison.

2. It's not that I wasn't interested, I've just thought about it a little more and I feel like the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

3. Better a dick that acknowledges looks are important rather than pretending that it doesn't matter and we can just be "best pals."

4. It's not even a "long term relationship," she'd probably laugh at me if I phrased it like that. It's just that there's a lot going on in my life and why lead her on?

But I don't want to hurt her feelings and make life awkward at the bar.

>>17227041
>and I feel like the juice isn't worth the squeeze.
You made her wait three weeks. The least you can do is give it a shot. If you still feel this way after chatting for a few hours, give it to her straight. If she's going to be all hurt because you're not into her after a first date that's hardly your problem, you did your part.

>>17227041
Sorry to say it but things are going to be awkward at the bar from now on.

And I do agree that looks are important, what I meant was that they aren't everything.

If I had to come with a suggestion to what you should tell her, I would probably just suggest that you say that you are not interested in having a relationship right now because you have a lot of things going on, but that she shouldn't wait for you because you don't know if you ever will be interested in a relationship.

That way it sounds like you aren't interested in relationships in general and if you later find someone you like and the bar girl questions you about it, all you have to say is that you didn't think you were interested in a relationship but that the girl you are interested in made you feel like it wouldn't so bad if it were with her.

>>17227083

This seems like pretty decent advice. I'm going to see her in a few minutes when I go up there for lunch.

>>17227083
>>17227097
Don't do this. It's a really shitty cop out - it's no fun to reject someone, but she put herself out there as well and it's no way to repay her to in turn throw her a bullshit excuse. Not to mention that it's going to hurt like fuck if she sees or hears of OP dating another (prettier?) woman short term, and you can never rule out that this might happen.

If you want to blow her off just be honest and say that you were taken with her and her request, and realize it's shitty after this time, but the few weeks in between made you realize that you're not that interested and you don't want to waste her time.

>>17226953
I screwed things up with a girl at my favorite coffee place. Now everyone there seems to hate me. It wasn't worth it to be honest, but she was really cute.

>>17227097
tell her you're a shallow faggot not worth helping.

>>17227116
But its not a shitty excuse.
He has a lot of things going on right now and he isnt interested in a relationship right now, unless he meets someone he could see himself married to.

>>17227097

Gl OP

Hope things go well and that she will understand

>>17227188
It is though, he specified that the attraction to her was the point. That you're not looking for a relationship doesn't mean that you have zero interest. But he does not have intererest in this woman specifically.

He also already accepted a date AND explained that he is on a tight schedule. Suddenly after weeks going back and saying he can't do it after all, not even one date, does not make it convincing that it has nothing to do with her personally as he already accepted after pointing his life circumstances out. Besides the whole "I'm just not looking for a relationship right now" is so overdone at this point that it's the "it's not you, it's me" line of rejecting someone.

>>17227205
hrm. Ye I guess.

But I still think that its a better solution than telling her that he isn't attracted by her and that he doesn't think of her that way.

>>17226981
>>17227041
The bigger the cushion the better the pushin'.

>>17227150

OP here, and I'm at the bar right now. I don't get why I'm supposed to force myself into liking someone, when physical attraction isn't really there?

It's not like there's this wonderful, electric personal connection with our personalities... She's perfectly pleasant, but is that worth starting something up over?

Tbh after you fuck a woman she looks hotter. At least in my experience

>>17227241
Be straight up and tell youre dtf but not looking for much more. She may surprise you

>>17227215
That's why I initially suggested just going on the date. If he can't muster that, he doesn't have to spell out that he's not attracted to her, but I think while it will be more uncomfortable it will also be more sincere and worthy of respect if he is just frank about going back on her offer. Especially after the wait, waiting that period of time with a yes only to be thrown an empty line afterwards...

>>17227241

With you asking this it sounds as if you are unsure whether or not you actually do want to go out with her or not.

If you dont want to then just let her down nicely. But if you are unsure, you should think about it

>>17227241
You're posting on a board full of people who are hoping that cute girls will look past an awkward first impression or unremarkable appearance. Most of those would give something to have a reasonably fun and engaging girl make the first move on them. You do the math.

>>17227205

This is a good point, maybe I can just tell her that the past few weeks of my life have been so insane that I just need to shut down from everyone for a while? I mean, she knows everything that's happened to me... I'm really up shit's creek.

>>17227234

This is so not true. I've only ever enjoyed sex with athletic girls. The rest just mash their enormous fat tits in my face until I suffocate and it smells bad.

I know some people like that, I just don't.

>>17227260

You have at least that right. I'm unsure. She's pretty cute and she used to be in AMAZING shape. If you'd asked me this compared to her pictures from two years ago, I'd be over the moon that she was interested. She's still pretty attractive. No one would look at me and judge me.

After breaking my ex's heart I'm gunshy about dating someone I could stand to hurt. I'd rather fall in love with some girl and get shot down than be the one to do it.

>>17227272
Although the cushion pushin is better the bigger. If shes a smells lije a pig shes too big

>>17227272
Oh come on man, she had the balls to ask you out, you can do better than that. It's a short term solution that will suck long term. If she's fine with it now, how will she feel if in six months time she will see you in your favorite bar with a cute date and realize that once you had the time, you didn't exactly come running to her?

I don't know how old she is but if she's remotely mature and reasonable, she's not going to get up in your face asking if you find her attractive if you say that you're not interested enough to warrant a date after all. It'll sting and she'll need to pull on her big girl panties and deal with that. But if try to deflect it, all that will happen is that you leave room for her to keep hope ("maybe in a few months, if it got so bad on short notice it might subside"), and you create the possibility of her realizing after prolonged time that the same shitty message was the core of your whole strategy, that you're just not into her. And then it'll feel a lot nastier and more humiliating than if you're upfront about it now.

>>17227241
you're not supposed to do that, but you're looking for us to give you reasons why you aren't a shallow faggot instead of just saying it. Tell her you don't think she's pretty enough for you. If you can't do that you don't think it and are just looking for an excuse. In that case, tell her you're too busy after all because you pretty clearly are.

>>17227285
Okay now I take back what I wrote before about letting her down.

You have now both said that you think that she is cute and that you enjoy talking to her.
Accept the date and go out with her, at least once.

If she used to have an amazing body then maybe something happened? And hell maybe she might want to get back to that shape if she starts dating someone?

>>17227344
Also, you said that she knows everything that has happened to you. That means that you dont have much of a problem telling her about sensitive stuff which means something doesnt it?

>>17227344

Yeah, but maybe she gets even more comfortable that she snagged a guy and she just completely loses it?

>>17227353
Sure, a little bit. But I'm also kind of an open book and she's a bartender. They're like therapists.

I'm back home now... I didn't really say... anything. I just kinda told her about my trips and said I'd see her soon. Her friend is in town this weekend so she can't do anything then anyways. I chose to ignore that we could technically go on dates during the week.

I feel bad for being this shallow. She's a nice person.

>>17227390
>Yeah, but maybe she gets even more comfortable that she snagged a guy and she just completely loses it?

Sorry dont understand what you mean by that.

>we were having a nice conversation
>She's pretty cute
>She's a nice person.
>She likes you

CMON OP. Open your eyes, do you really think you would think these things if you didnt have any feelings for her??

The next time you see her, ask her if she is still interested in that date, and if she is. Make some plans.

Right now it just feels like you like her but you are to scared to accept her feelings.

>>17227415

I mean that she meets a pretty good looking guy with a pretty good job. She did it without being in shape or taking care of herself. So if the relationship keeps going, she doesn't need to take care of herself anymore anyways, because she has a guy in the fold.

I do like her a little bit - how much, I don't know. I wouldn't have said yes in the first place if I didn't. I appreciate having her around as a person. Do I see myself dating her long-term? Probably not. So why continue?

>>17226953
OP i suggest you go out with her, you asked her to wait 3 weeks, so just go what have you to lose. If you don't go you will screw up your own spot at a bar. So just go out and see what happends dont care really

>>17227434
Oke. Now I understand.
But if that were to happen you could always bring her along on training sessions.

>I do like her a little bit - how much, I don't know
Sounds to me like a good reason to go on a date with her. You might not be able to see yourself in a long term with her right now, but you both like each other so you should at least go on one date.
If it doesnt work out, thats fine. It happens.
But now when I know that you like her, I really cant say anything else than to go on at least one date.

>>17227546

Don't get me wrong, I'm not "training," but I try to be mindful of what I eat and try to keep decently active. The fact that she's a former personal trainer who seems to have given up gives me pause... why'd she do it? How'd she slip?

I guess your answer is clear, but the city I live in is surprisingly small, and I don't want to go on a date with a girl, make her think we had an amazing time, pay for the whole thing, and then disappear because I'm not into it.

Since I'm turning 30 years old, I feel like I should only go out with people I see a future with.

How the hell is she chunky? She just has a large chest.

Go on a date.
See how it goes.
If you like her, continue dating, evaluate from there.
If you don't, stop dating her.

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>>17227599

She's kinda thick.

Again, I think Milana Vayntrub is gorgeous, but this is some bartender that just moved here from St. Louis, it's not the same.

>>17227390
>Yeah, but maybe she gets even more comfortable that she snagged a guy and she just completely loses it?
She's a bartender by trade, she won't go full retard. QTs get more tips.

>>17227546
If she is reasonably cute, sociable and fun, why the hell should she be a pitything for OP while another guy might be over the moon about her? Virtually all normal guys would pick a slender girl over a chubby one, but finding the bodytype OP posted a big turn off in itself is a bit extreme. At least from my anecdotal experience and I'm not even American.

Also the almost thirty argument seems solid. I just don't get why you (OP) feel that going on a date with her means that you must fake excitement or anything. It's just spending prolonged time together and seeing how that turns out. Not because you probably have amazing hidden potential but because you already made her wait and already told her yes.

>>17227614
Do you have any better prospects atm?
It's a date, you aren't getting married.
You don't like how she might look in the future.
Why not live in the moment, right now?

Honestly OP,

You're making it seem like she's too good for you. Yeah, go dump her so she can find someone who's worth her time.

>>17227578
>Since I'm turning 30 years old, I feel like I should only go out with people I see a future with.

I didnt know your age but what I said is still valid. Or rather, its even more valid now.
She likes you - You like her but dont know how you feel about dating her. So just go out on one date like I said, and if you are 100% sure that you dont want to go any further after that date, then tell her that. (and yes I know its going to be awkward at the bar, but its going to be awkward either way)
But if you enjoyed it and dont mind going out again, you should go out again.
It really is that simple, give it a shot and if you dont think it works let her know.

>>17227665

I have a thing for another girl, but that can't happen (not the point of this thread, just know it can't), but if we go on the date and it goes well for her, I have to continue to deal with texts and calls and shit when my life has a ton packed into it.

I have to pay for drinks/dinner/whatever we end up going to do. I have to deal with awkwardly turning someone down when they won't understand that it seems like we had a great time.

Yes, I'm patting myself on the back, I have a ton of confidence here, but I trust she'll enjoy the date enough to do it again.

>>17227674

I'm sure there's plenty of guys who like her a lot. She's a good person. I'm not necessarily a good person, but I'd like to be mindful of how others feel. So, yeah.

>>17227813
Dude. It takes two people to decide that you want to go on more dates. You have to learn to reject people at some point. There is nothing wrong with telling her that you had a good time, but given how busy you are and how serious you feel about relationships now, you didn't feel enough of the right chemistry to continue seeing where things lead. Thanks for the invite, you look forward to seeing her around. Then the ball's in her court. That's all.

Tough shit that you have to (potentially, because she asked you out) pay for drinks. If you feel that strongly about it you should've just shut her down when she asked, you did not.

>>17227813
You don't know that she'll be that annoying, and she has already shown some patience, waiting for 3 weeks.

You sound like you don't want to go, and are making excuses - she'll get fat, she'll be annoying, I'll have to pay... all in the future tense.
If you don't like her, right now, in the present tense, that's ok. But don't make excuses for future shit that might never come to pass, that's cowardly.

>>17226953
if she asks you out its because ur attractive, ur essentially screwed.

>>17227614
as if every fat woman looks like milana

>>17227928

That... was my point? Milana's gorgeous. And not "fat," but still not what I optimally like body-wise.

>>17227908

Why is it cowardly to be forward thinking? Any girl you start to bang at this age could end up being the girl you're with for good. If I was 22, I'd be on this date in a heartbeat.