Ask a 25 year old guy who has had sex with a different girl every night for a week anything.
I used to be like you, unsure, nervous, afraid of women. One day I had enough and decided to make a change. It wasn't easy but I learned a lot and now I pass my wisdom unto you.
Ask away.
What's your favorite neg and how much black eyeshadow do you wear?
what should a 32 year old virgin guy do since he passed the virgin age limit
>>17224909
>GUYS IM SO GREAT BUT YOU GOTTA ASK ME QUESTIONS IM NOT GONNA TELL YOU HOW I MANAGE TO BANG A DIFFERENT HOT GIRL EVERY FUCKING NIGHT WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A TOTALLY REAL THING DOESNT IT?
if that was true wouldnt you be too busy fucking a girl right now? check mate athiots.
>>17224909
How's the hangover? blisters coming along nicely?
>>17224917
I don't neg. Its stupid and I don't like it.
I wear the normal amount of black eye shadow.
>>17224918
Women are people. The better you are with people the better you will be with women. The hard truth is there is no secret or trick to talking to women you just have to be confident in whatever it is you're doing.
I can be more specific if you are a little more detailed about what exactly your problem is.
>>17224921
>GUYS IM SO GREAT BUT YOU GOTTA ASK ME QUESTIONS IM NOT GONNA TELL YOU HOW I MANAGE TO BANG A DIFFERENT HOT GIRL EVERY FUCKING NIGHT WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A TOTALLY REAL THING DOESNT IT?
I'm not that great. Also, I didn't plan on hooking up this many times in a row it just happened. I'm on vacation from work for a two weeks so I've been a bit more adventurous than usual.
Women aren't a species of Pokemon. There is no universal list of techniques I can give all the men of 4chan to learn how to hook up with all the women of the world. Specific questions deserve specific answers, thats all.
I'm a 7/10 on a GREAT day and I'm not claiming to be an expert in women. I've just found my stride and thought perhaps I could assist some people in finder theirs.
>>17224918
Will you have me? Virgin 28 shut-in woman, not fat but not pretty either.
>>17224922
>How's the hangover?
I'm not a big drinker.
>blisters coming along nicely?
Few blasts with the soldering iron and I'm good to go, friend.
Do you prey upon insecure girls?
>>17224974
I like to think that I don't prey on anyone. I don't avoid insecure girls but I don't seek them out either. I'm a little insecure myself but it doesn't have to be the prevailing characteristic in every interaction I have. Everyone's a little insecure about something.
I learned awhile ago that exploiting a girl's insecurities to get into her pants works for the moment but in the long run you just end up really hurting them. They get attached easily and there's no gentle way to let down a girl who already feels like she isn't worth anything.
>>17224945
Where are you located?
>>17224992
Denmark
>>17224909
Would you know how to bang the same girl every night?
>>17225001
a shame. if only you lived in the US.
>>17224909
What changes did you make to yourself before you achieved sex with lots of girls?
>>17225005
>Would you know how to bang the same girl every night?
I was in a long term relationship for a few years, if thats what you mean. I'm not terrified of intimacy, I'm just being a little fast and loose with it at this point in my life.
I tried to get a girl last night in a club, she snapped me after and said sge didn't want a one night stand
Then why did you add me?
Do you tell girls that you're only interested in a one night stand? How does that usually go over?
>>17225008
I will say that SOME of the typical gym/clothes/appearance suggestions that 4chan drums up kind of works. If anything it makes you feel better about yourself, and getting other people to like you is 90% showing them how much you like yourself.
I pretty much decided that I was worth the time. I spent a lot of time looking inside of myself, finding the things I liked about myself and decided to put them on display. I improved the things I felt I was lacking in and practiced liking myself. The self-deating attitude and fear and anxiety is like a stench that women can smell from a mile away. Most importantly I just stopped caring about hooking up and just learned to talk.
If you go out with a goal in mind you lose sight of the fact that sex or not, women want to connect with someone just like anyone else.
After you learn to like yourself and be comfortable in your own skin convincing others to like you comes effortlessly.
>>17224909
What was the process in getting laid? Did you just ask her if she wants to get laid?
>>17225026
>90% showing them how much you like yourself
fuck
>>17225023
>Do you tell girls that you're only interested in a one night stand? How does that usually go over?
Not really, I just talk to them. I can usually tell by how long they stick around and talk to me or if they're down to head to another bar with me if it might lead somewhere. Sometimes they leave with friends, sometimes they wander off. It happens.
The most important part about the one night stand is to accept that a lot of women aren't opposed to having a one night stand, even if they don't realize it, what they are opposed to is being TREATED like a one night stand; being treated like an object or a goal. Be real with them, don't try lines or negs or any of that redpill bullshit.
If they stick around, laugh at my jokes, agree to come back to my apartment for drinks after the bars close, its pretty much guaranteed. If not, I'm cool with that because I learned early on that if women in a social setting see you talking to other women it often times makes them more interested in you.
>I tried to get a girl last night in a club, she snapped me after and said sge didn't want a one night stand. Then why did you add me?
Some women are confusing and fickle. I can't give you any advice about that, sometimes it just happens. Maybe she wanted the attention you gave her from thinking you had a chance of having sex with her but didn't actually want to have sex.
Are the girls you have sex with mutually in it for one night stands as well? or do they think it will lead to something more in the future? If so, how do you deal with them if they start becoming attached? and does it make you feel guilty for leading them on?
>>17225051
Ok, what do you do if a girl wants to see you again but you don't, and she turns out to be a crazy stalker and talks shit about you around town?
>>17225055
>Are the girls you have sex with mutually in it for one night stands as well? or do they think it will lead to something more in the future?
Most are. Some have lapsed into booty calls and such for a few months but for the most part they realize that I'm not the guy they need to invest their emotions into and I'm totally cool if they decide they've had their fun and want to move on.
>If so, how do you deal with them if they start becoming attached? and does it make you feel guilty for leading them on?
I think over the past few years I've subconsciously become aware of the girls that are going to get weird. I do my best to work around that but, sometimes it does happen. The most important part about that is not giving in if they want to "come over to talk" or have sex again. It just lets them sink their hooks in deeper.
As soon as it gets serious I cut it off. Not letting it go too far is the key. A lot of girls will be disappointed but most won't turn batshit crazy if you're straight up with them as soon as possible.
Learning to be charismatic is a great thing, not just for picking up women, but apart of that is recognizing that certain kinds of broken people gravitate towards charisma.
>>17225072
That is unfortunately a risk you have to take. You can only control your behavior, not hers. Sometimes even letting her down gently won't stop her from going postal.
All I can suggest is that you don't overlook emotional instability just because its an easy lay. Crazy girls are easy to fuck but hard to get rid of.
Its only happened to me once or twice but it died down pretty quick. I live in a big town too, thank God.
Okay, OP. I have a severe case of one-it-is, and call it juvenile if you want, but I would like some pointers on how to maintain an interesting text conversation with a girl, although I'm assuming that's not your forte.
And please don't tell me to look for other girls. I have had many ONS and they don't really satisfy me on an emotional level at this point.
If you want more context, feel free to read a thread that I made earlier today today>>17222956
>>17225090
>And please don't tell me to look for other girls. I have had many ONS and they don't really satisfy me on an emotional level at this point.
I read over the thread. Its very unfortunate to say but it might be a good idea to consider the possibility that this isn't the girl you're meant to be with.
When you convince yourself of something so absolute you become blind to the possibility that anything else could be true.
The only thing you can do is tell her how you feel. If its meant to be she'll be with you, if it isn't she won't. Its scary but necessary. There's no other way around it. Like I said before, you can't change her behavior, only yours.
As far as actually talking to her avoid saying anything like "I know you probably don't like me back" or "I know I have no chance" etc., Don't put yourself down. If she is a nice, normal girl she will be extremely turned off by your self-loathing and if she IS turned on by it its because she's batshit crazy.
Either option is not good. Other than that, just be yourself.
>>17224909
Do you feel bad when they get attached? Do you ever feel bad when you fuck the younger more naive ones?
>>17225120
Thanks for your input, anon. And don't worry, I have enough social awareness to know that that type of blatant insecurity is unattractive; one of the good things I actually learned from PUA stuff.
You're right, though. I think that I actually win either way; at this point, I only want to get her out of my head. Even my sexual life has been inactive because of this thing.
>>17225145
Nothing wrong with getting hit hard in the feels, dude. Just gotta know when to stop spinning your wheels and move forward.
>>17225142
>Do you feel bad when they get attached? Do you ever feel bad when you fuck the younger more naive ones?
I feel bad when someone gets hurt. That's never my goal. I prefer to socialize in older circles but someone getting attached is bound to happen, at any age. I do my best to be honest, even if my honesty means I won't get laid.
Honestly, this phase of sleeping around never lasts long for me. I enjoy dating around I'm just never too invested in one or the other. I see a girl for a few weeks, get burnt out and go back out.
I'm a traveling musician so I go through a lot of different cities, meet a lot of different people and have a lifestyle that kind of caters to never doing one thing for too long. The girls I interact with sort of pick up on that. No smart girl wants to sink their hooks into a guy they know is going to be on tour for the next three months.
>>17224921
I want to put my dick between that boobs in the pic
>>17224909
Yeah i'm trying to normie up again
How did you manage to leave 4chan or video games? or cut it down?
Advice for my situation
Summer lonely as fuck
This is literally do or do not in school too, need to study but can't bring myself to do it
I know the only way to make more friends and get a gf would be to actually do work and stop posting on 4chan and playing games on Steam but everytime I delete Steam and stop browsing 4chan I always come back.
How do I focus more on the long term goal?
>>17224929
I think it's too hard to talk with women because they have mouths between their thighs
>>17224945
I can do that as long as you wear a mask
>>17224909
Just.. Why?
>>17225203
Everyone who posts on /adv/ has problems
All losers
Every now and then someone gets better and comes back and tries to help
Then here comes the fagg in denial or who wants others to sink with him.
>>17225048
what a stupid nerdy question
>>17225192
>How did you manage to leave 4chan or video games? or cut it down?
>How do I focus more on the long term goal?
For me I just decided one day that I had more important things to do. It was particularly difficult for me because I did production work on my computer so getting distracted was just a click away.
I set up a schedule for myself. For two hours a day I would work on production. The rest of the day was mine.
Then once I got comfortable with that I started setting aside an hour to study something I was excited about like synth design or whatever and then add it to my two hours of production work a day. Slowly but surely I was able to focus myself on the things I wanted to do and instead of cutting out all distractions in my life, just scheduled myself time to do it instead of trying to go cold turkey.
Eventually you'll come to a point when you have to choose between living the life you want to and distracting yourself from doing it. Focus is hard but much like anything can be perfected with practice.
Nothing is wrong with vidya and 4chan so long as it its not stopping you from achieving the things you want. There are many ways to become disciplined in something but first you must make the choice to do so.
>>17225050
>225050▶
conclusion : have sex with yourself --> masturbate
>>17224909
Being a traveling musician would seem to give you a certain advantage - you can be a center of attention at the afterparty or in the bar/venue you just played at.
What's your approach strategy? It seems like you wouldn't need to work on that as much. But let's say you look across a bar, okay, there's a cute chick seemingly with a few friends. What's plan A?
>>17225225
>What's your approach strategy?
Whatever your "strategy" is I guess I would say just make it organic. Cold approaches are weird and usually very forced.
I'm a tall guy so if I go purposefully stand next to a girl (maybe waiting for a drink or something) and notice she's looking at me I'll start by making fun of myself, maybe a joke about how I would of played basketball but I have no coordination, or scoot out of her way and apologize for blocking her view or something. Just little stuff. Mention something about the neat decor in the club OR a cool trick my friend taught me where he asks a girl "Hey, you're Melissa right? (or any name)". When they say no he just apologizes and says "Oh sorry, you look just like a friend of mine, are you from around here?"
Boom. Conversation started.
Most of the time they'll smile and laugh or whatever and move on but if you do it enough times one of them is bound to be interested and stick around to talk.
The best way I've found is just friends of friends, acquaintances, people who are working the venue, people I'm on tour with, friends I've made from previous tours. Join groups and go from place to place. Go to house parties. Meet people, talk to people. Its a bit time consuming but making acquaintances is a powerful tool, not just for meeting women but for accessing opportunities of all kinds.
>>17225248
So basically you're describing:
numbers game + persistent, positive networking
Fair enough, I think yours is the best strategy. I always hated cold approaches too, absolute and total cringe.
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
>>17225257
Pretty much, and if you're doing it right it will still be fun even if you don't go home with someone at the end of the night.
I've had plenty of fun nights where I go bar hopping or attend weird house costume parties or basement shows and go home alone having had a blast. I'm pretty satisfied with or without the attention of women and I've come to the conclusion that it shows in my interactions with them.
It sounds kind of cliche but if you stop caring so much about whether or not you are going to get laid and/or you aren't trying to use getting girls to have sex with you as a form of validation or whatever it just happens a lot easier.
>>17225264
16. It was terrible sex in a shitty hotel room. She was 23 and kind of scared me.
>>17225248
>I'm a tall guy
This is a pretty big thing when it comes to one night stands. 5'5" me couldn't do it.
How do you handle conversations so that they don't go nowhere? Most of mine seem to go:
>hey
>hello
>how u doin
>good you?
>good
>uhh cool shirt
>thanks I got it at blablabla
>sounds good
>...
>...
>k uhh i gotta go
>>17225393
Dont use filler words anymore.
Ask them about where they are from or how their day has been going.
I usually would ask the first one if I was in a new place. If a person is willing to talk to you, the conversation should flow naturally. If you have to force it, forget about them and move on.
>>17225393
If the girl insists upon the conversation going nowhere, it will go nowhere. There really is no trick to keeping a girl interested who, frankly, isn't interested in being interested.
If a conversation is running into brick walls like that with one word answers I'll just stop answering back. Sometimes when I just opt out of a conversation because the girl is acting uninterested she'll start hitting me back simply because I cold shouldered her for awhile.
But to be fair, the cold shoulder isn't on purpose, I just literally have no time or energy to talk to someone with the conversational skills of GoogleBot.
>>17225539
What if you're the one with the poor conversational skills
>>17225541
>What if you're the one with the poor conversational skills
I would suggest starting with something you're passionate about. For me, it was music, so when I decided to crawl out of my shell it was a lot easier to talk about things I was passionate about then it was just to do a "Hey, Hi, Hows it going" kind of thing.
I started hanging out a lot at local clubs, venues, got to know promoters, went to record shows, hung out at music shops, kind of just immersed myself in what I loved and the confidence of it started bolstering my confidence in other places.
Not to mention the fact that even if your thing is like mountain biking or a sport or an art form, there's nothing women love more than to hear a guy be passionate about something.
Try to infuse your conversations with substance, anything, and you won't find yourself so stuck with what to say. I'm not a fan at all of the small talk conversations, its a dead end and does nothing but kill time. Its like talking to someone without talking about anything.
>>17224909
Do you satisfy the women you're with, or focus solely on yourself and leave?
>>17225553
I've yet to find a woman interested in the nuances of Cold War era Soviet small arms and aircraft, or World War 2.
>>17225553
well uhh I don't think a girl is going to like very much hear me talking about Smash, Dota 2 and CS:GO
How do I pick up girls to just cuddle with me and not have sex?
What if you live with a parent?
Where would you take them if you lived with mom?
>>17225559
I like to think I do. I don't mean to sound like a faggot but I kind of dig the whole you mutual pleasure thing. I'm not typically a pump and leave kind of guy but after a little too much whiskey in a strange city I can't say I haven't done it before.
>>17225562
>>17225564
My advice still holds true. Honestly, I'm just lucky that I can find women interested in the things I'm passionate about in general public places. You have to go to where the people who are interested in the things you are interested in hang out.
>well uhh I don't think a girl is going to like very much hear me talking about Smash, Dota 2 and CS:GO
There are two arcades in my town, and one arcade bar that has a row of couches and TVs with nintendo 64s and gamecubes for the patrons to play. I've had tons of nerd sessions with random drunk girls there over smash and golden eye and shit.
Look hard enough and you will find girls with common interests, I promise you.
>>17225585
To amend your question for OP since I am same situation, how would you get the girl to take you to her place if you live with parents or roomates with no privacy?
>>17225585
Go to her place. That's what I typically do when I'm on the road, seeing as they probably don't want to fuck in the tour van.
>>17225579
>How do I pick up girls to just cuddle with me and not have sex?
I dunno man, I've never tried that. Although, I've had plenty of cuddle sessions with girls that never got as far as sex. Its the same principal without following through with the sex I suppose.
>>17225594
>To amend your question for OP since I am same situation, how would you get the girl to take you to her place if you live with parents or roomates with no privacy?
Just tell her. "Hey my place is kind of weird you mind if we go to yours?"
It works more often than not.
>>17225594
How old are you? I'm 21 and still live with my parents. I just bring them to my room and lock the door. Parents know I do but they don't say anything.
>>17225603
I'm 27 and I sleep in the living room in a cluttered apartment with my mother. I never bring anyone over, its just for eating internet and sleeping.
>>17225600
still feels weird to invite myself over to someone else's home instead of inviting them over
>>17225613
>still feels weird to invite myself over to someone else's home instead of inviting them over
If you think it's weirder asking someone to hang out at their house as opposed to asking to stick your penis in her vagina, then I don't think you're ready for sex yet.
>>17225614
I'm not, see >>17225579
How 'bout we head over to your place and cuddle? Perhaps.
Were any of them hot?
How strong is the Tranquiliser you use?
NormieJesus do you pick up chicks exclusively at bars? Do you have any advice for picking up chicks online? Also what the fuck does one even do at a bar? Would I get anywhere just by myself or with one other bro?
I'm pretty motherfucking suave but I've never been to a bar because it's too expensive & too much hassle, I have no idea why a normalfag would go to a bar other than to try to pick-up dates. I'm also terrible at e-chatting because I need to read people's emotions in order to socialize with them.
>>17224987
What insecurities do you mean? Do you just talk them up and figure it out?
>>17224909
Congrats you fuck anything with a heartbeat. Round of applause for the king of dive bars and sluts.
The only advice you've given is: lol talk to them and see where it goes m8.
>>17225613
>still feels weird to invite myself over to someone else's home instead of inviting them over
Not as weird as bringing them back to your parent's house.
>>17225652
Typically the kind of insecure girls who hang out in bars are the ones that need sex for validation; the girls with daddy issues and sexual trauma in their past. Most insecure girls are insecure about their looks and worth as a woman. They're not all the same but its typically the same story.
>>17225644
>NormieJesus do you pick up chicks exclusively at bars? Do you have any advice for picking up chicks online? Also what the fuck does one even do at a bar? Would I get anywhere just by myself or with one other bro?
I've had some luck by myself but, admittedly, it is kind of weird, not just for women but for me. If I'm hanging out in a bar by myself I'm usually just killing time between shows.
Also, online is GREAT. I've had excellent luck on Tinder and OkCupid. Don't try to read emotions, get to know them, invite them out as soon as possible. Online conversations peter out pretty quickly so you need to meet up face to face as soon as you gain a good back and fourth.
Sometimes it doesn't work out but, thats just the nature of social interaction.
>>17225686
>Congrats you fuck anything with a heartbeat. Round of applause for the king of dive bars and sluts.
Correction; heartbeat and red hair. I like red heads.
>The only advice you've given is: lol talk to them and see where it goes m8.
Sometimes its kind of that simple, dude. I think I've been pretty specific when the question called for it. Something on your mind, buddy? You seem angry.
>>17225698
> Don't try to read emotions, get to know them, invite them out as soon as possible. Online conversations peter out pretty quickly so you need to meet up face to face as soon as you gain a good back and fourth.
This is total horseshit, every time I've gotten some banter going and asked about meeting up they dip the fuck out never to return. It's not, "No Anon" or "Uhhh actually im busy Anon", they straight up stop responding and never get back to me. I was chatting with this chick for like an hour and I asked to get coffee and suddenly she decided she shouldn't be talking to me.
Either you're hella handsome or you're shitting me.
>>17225708
>>17225686
I bet NormieJesus is like 10/10 and it's taken him this long to realize that chicks will hop on the D as long as he doesn't go full sperg.
I'm 23, and I haven't tried flirting with girls or anything since I was 17 and in high school, I asked two girls out, both of which rejected me and I kind of gave up on women since then.
I recently went to my 5 year class reunion and found that I was able to talk to all the popular girls who I used to be nervous around in high school with ease and had a really great time flirting with them and they seemed pretty receptive. This has got me to thinking that maybe I have improved a bit since then and should attempt to re-enter the dating scene, (i've also started lifting a couple months ago so that has added to my confidence level)
Anyway the question is, how do I go about starting a conversation with a complete stranger? it was easy to talk to the girls from my old high school because I already knew them, but what about when it comes to a complete stranger? is it literally as easy as just walking up and saying "hello, what is your name?" should I make explicit references to the fact that I find them attractive right off the bat? like "Hey I thought you were cute so what is your name?"
I'm probably going to try doing most of this at bars, but there is a specific girl who works at walmart that I have in mind, but I kind of have an ethical problem with trying to pick up on women at their work place, since they are essentially a captive audience.
thanks in advance
>tfw you're 5'4", hispanic and ugly and realize that any of OP's advice will never work on you!
>>17225726
>is it literally as easy as just walking up and saying "hello, what is your name?"
Almost, but don't start with that line.
>should I make explicit references to the fact that I find them attractive right off the bat? like "Hey I thought you were cute so what is your name?"
No.
I'm on 4chan so I can't say from personal experience, but what I've seen work for others is to drop an ice-breaker and then launch into whatever you want to talk about (i.e. whatever's on your mind, not "u r a cutie").
The ice-breaker can be fucking ANYTHING that's an excuse to talk to someone. I saw some black dudes do it on the subway, I was blown away by how slick it was. I can't remember exactly what the leader said, but I remember it was some dumb, generic question about the subway. He just "happened" to ask a cute girl and then segued from there.
>"Hey, what's the next stop?"
>"Oh, it's such-and-such."
>"Such-and-such already? Man I must've fallen asleep on the train, you ever do that?"
Suddenly he's having a conversation.
>>17224909
Do you like having aids?
>>17225724
>I was chatting with this chick for like an hour and I asked to get coffee and suddenly she decided she shouldn't be talking to me.
Sometimes things not working out is not a result of you doing anything wrong. Sometimes shit just doesn't click, dude. Girls stop responding to me sometimes to. Nothing I'm saying is meant to be as a 100% guarantee.
>I bet NormieJesus is like 10/10 and it's taken him this long to realize that chicks will hop on the D as long as he doesn't go full sperg.
I can promise you I'm not. I'm a 7/10 on a perfect day.
>Anyway the question is, how do I go about starting a conversation with a complete stranger?
It can be anything. "Hello whats your name" is kind of weird. I'd say, put yourself in situations where talking to her wouldn't be weird.
If you see a girl you like from across the room maybe stand next to her while you order your drink mention something about the decor of the place you're in, ask her if she knows any good food spots in town (which I genuinely do sometimes in towns I'm not familiar with). Fuck, turn your phone off and ask her for the time. Straight walking up to a girl can kind of be off putting so look for an opportunity for things to be organic and go for it.
It can literally be anything, just make sure it isn't forced.
>but there is a specific girl who works at walmart that I have in mind, but I kind of have an ethical problem with trying to pick up on women at their work place
Start with small talk. "Hows your day going", build up. Start small, is all I'm saying. If she isn't very talkative when you try to spark things up then you know she isn't down, if she does then at the very least you have an opening that isn't weird when you want to ask her out.
I asked a girl out who worked in a pizza joint once and she laughed at me. All of her co-workers stopped to ask her what was so funny. All I'm saying is nothing I'm saying is supposed to be taken as gospel. I fail too, but I take a lot of chances.
>>17225774
Post pic?
>>17225757
I get tested every two months, son. I may be tarnished spiritually but my organs are tip-top.
>>17225728
I'm not going to say that all of my advice will work for everyone all the time because I had to find my stride. I had to find a way to cope with my insecurities and fear of women that worked for me.
The way I worked through it won't necessarily work for you but what I will say is that confidence is key. Its is absolutely everything. Find the things about yourself that you like and run with it. Find the things you don't like and work to improve them.
The way I'm presenting these things sound easy because once you practice them and learn to work around your own insecurities, it is easy.
>>17225784
So aids is taking you hard, got it
>>17225789
Sure.
>>17225804
Confirmed for AIDS
>>17224909
Hi OP. I'm gay but I think this transcends sexuality. There's a guy who I want to ask out, but won't because I'm pathetic and scared. How do I get over that?
>>17225816
>There's a guy who I want to ask out, but won't because I'm pathetic and scared. How do I get over that?
Really depends on the context. Who is this guy in relation to you? Are you friends? Are you ever in any situations in which it would be convenient to ask him out?
>>17224909
What's it like having NPD?
>>17225886
I wouldn't consider myself narcissistic in the slightest. I'm not special or elevated above anyone else. I'm not that great looking, I'm not the greatest musician and for all intents and purposes I'm probably not even the greatest lay. I don't require people to like me or be charmed by me to feel fulfilled. I get rejected quite a bit, in my personal and professional life, I've just learned not to let my rejections define me.
I wasn't always this way, thats for sure. I spent many years hating myself and practicing the same kind of self-loathing that the majority of men on this board do; the self-loathing that keeps you home, at your computer, afraid to talk to people or take chances.
I figured out how to feel good about myself; how to feel comfortable. There's a big difference between learning how to love yourself and being in love with yourself. If that makes me narcissistic then, well, I don't have a problem with that.
>>17225001
I live in Switzerland, my city has a direct train connection to Copenhagen and an Airport, too. Come see me, I'll fuck your brains out.
>>17225001
Hey! I'm going to Aarhus to do my masters in August. Any tips for an Anglo-American living in Denmark?
>>17226002
General advice and Danish dating advice would all be most appreciated.
>>17225900
>tfw you don't need to be any of those things to be a fucking narcissist
fuck off ya lying turd. go beat your e-peen elsewhere.
>>17226016
Ok. If it makes you feel any better I could care less if you think I'm a narcissist. I know I'm not, so its cool. Like I said, I deal with rejection on a daily basis. I got a few pass e-mails from a venue tonight, in fact.
The opinion of someone on the internet who doesn't know anything about me is pretty low on my list of priorities.
About to have sex for the first time tonight. Any tips?
>>17226042
Relax. Have fun. Don't worry about techniques or positions or any of that junk just yet. Just be in the moment, the rest will come naturally if you pay attention to your partner's body.
>US
And that is the problem since US culture is different from Finnish culture.
Sure I'm not absolutely stunning looking or anything like that but I'm not a total dick either.
But, I will admit this, I want to suck pussy more than fuck, I don't know why, I just do. Or I just like vaginas.
So then what do you do when you're a self hating piece of shit like myself? Who makes out of reach goals and never achieves them and doesn't go after the small ones because they're small?
how does it feel to know you'll never make family and kids? how does it feel to know that any marriage you make will end in divorce because of statistics ?
how does it feel to think that slut pussy equals any form of victory or achievement?
>>17225248
>Hey, you're Melissa right?
What if her name IS Melissa?
Am I broken? Had feelings for my friend for a solid two years. She clearly isn't interested but said she didn't want to date because she "didn't want to lose me as a friend" (bullshit). I wasted so much time on one girl, now I know barely know any single women.
The problem is, whenever I do meet an attractive girl I am disinterested in their lives. I have no urge to ask them out. Talking to women on dating apps is boring to me and uses too much energy. When I go to parties women come up to talk to me but I could care less about what they have to say. All these girls seem so bland and I don't feel the interest I used to. I have little to no attraction to them despite them being attractive. Are my standards too high?
Sorry guys. Abandoned thread for awhile but I'm on the road again, I have a few hours sitting in the back of a van.
>>17226593
>So then what do you do when you're a self hating piece of shit like myself? Who makes out of reach goals and never achieves them and doesn't go after the small ones because they're small?
Therapy I suppose. I was able to improve my predicament through dedication to changing my habits but if those aren't cutting it for you it couldn't hurt to seek out someone who would help you find out what it is about yourself you hate so much.
>>17226633
Statistics don't run my life. Getting laid is also not an achievement. I know that assuming these things about me makes you feel better about whatever it is in your life that's frustrating you so much but I would recommend in the future not trying to make yourself feel better by making others feel worse.
Don't get bogged down in resenting other people's success that you never find any success of your own.
>>17226646
>What if her name IS Melissa?
THEN YOU'RE FUCKED. Its never happened to me, though. If it does I'll let you know what I did.
how do I git gud at sex and stop nutting in less than 2 min
How do I meet girls if I'm not interested in the bar scene or the club scene. I absolutely hate those environments after years of going with friends to them and dealing with the lowest level of trash women. They're easy to bag when you get a few drinks in them, but once the buzz wears off, they've got nothing in their fucking brains except when the next time they are going clubbing.
I realize that I should be going to places where I do things I enjoy, but my current hobbies are mostly solitary. Running on the coast, rock climbing, hiking, vidya games, anime, gym, etc.
What do?
I'm really hung up on dating ATTRACTIVE asian women despite being able to regularly attract not particularly to semi-attractive women without intending to. All attempts on girls I really want always flop.
Advice on finding places where I can meet them and how to step up my game? I have eloquent conversation and general composure down. I spend time on my hair to good effect, and current warddrobe is occasionally noted but outdated.
why are you such a fucking pig?
>>17227262
>I realize that I should be going to places where I do things I enjoy, but my current hobbies are mostly solitary. Running on the coast, rock climbing, hiking, vidya games, anime, gym, etc.
There are plenty of social places that include things like rock climbing and video games. Bar/club scenes aren't for everyone. The only reason I find myself in these situations is because I'm always in random clubs/venues before and after I play. Its just convenient and familiar to me.
Seriously, look around your town for rock climbing walls/clubs, arcades, video game shops, comic book shops etc., stay up to date on any events they throw and just go. It sounds like you're not looking for some quick fun but an actual connection, and if thats the case you have the right idea by not looking at clubs.
>Advice on finding places where I can meet them and how to step up my game?
I don't know where to find asian girls and I'm not so familiar with their culture as far as dating is concerned. If you're only attracted to asian women I'm not sure if there's anything I can say that will change your attraction.
If you feel confident in your conversation and composure then it sounds like your only battle is finding where asian women congregate and going there.
When you want something specific and highly coveted its going to be harder to get, I'm not sure if there's any way around that.
>>17224909
Have you ever thought about marriage?
Do you feel like a whore?
>>17227293
>your only battle is finding where asian women congregate and going there.
I'm timid in that most of those places are almost entirely dominated by asian women and attractive gentlemen. Is it arrogant to jump in like that when I'm not of the same demographic and may even have significantly different interests?
>When you want something specific and highly coveted its going to be harder to get, I'm not sure if there's any way around that.
It's what I want. A love you can just pick up has an equal tendency to drop anyway. I just need to know what I need to do to improve my odds.
How do I start liking myself? I know that I'm not a terrible person but I feel like my future is going to be shit and no one really likes me.
People hang out with me very often but I still feel like I'm creepy and weird. How can I change that? Everytime I'm looking inside myself it gets worse, I feel like a fucking Box of Pandora.
I have a really ugly girlfriend and want to leave her every time I see a hot chick. Should I do it? Is it worth it? I know I could be getting hot chicks the very next week.. Her ass is just so small and she's shaped like an upside down pear.. I want sexy hour glass woman.
Prior to this relationship, I never had any real bf/gf type situations, just hooking up and I loved it. Now I feel so tied down.
But my issue is that she'd probably kill herself if I left, and I do care for her like she's my sister.
has having sex with many women filled the void in your heart, op?
>>17227335
not only this but she's not a breeder, she's got physical and mental problems I wouldn't want to pass on to my children. If she were breedable, I'd stick it out. I'm only in it for her it feels.
>>17227315
I'm kinda good with this kinda stuff, OP, so I'm going to help out too, if that's alright.
The issue seems to be that accepting and processing evidence of your likable qualities wasn't a significant part of your growth and development. Unfortunately, that time is gone, and you can't condense all that time into something bite sized.
However, what you can use is your maturity to start at it in a different way. Go out to restaurants you're interested in by yourself even though the places are filled with couples. Think about the taste, and atmosphere, and really dig into how things make you feel, not being afraid to think that you loathe something.
Be your own worst critic of your character, and really try to prove to yourself that you're likable.
>>17227335
>But my issue is that she'd probably kill herself if I left, and I do care for her like she's my sister.
You gotta sort that shit out with her. Let her know you're not ready for a relationship. You don't want to be with someone just because they're pretty, your life is gonna go to hell. If your main interest right now is hooking up then you're probably still going to want to keep hooking up with random bitches even if you do have a hot gf.
>>17227295
>Have you ever thought about marriage?
Occasionally. I'm not opposed to having a girlfriend and I have had a few relationships, I'm just not in a position to really commit at this point. Too many things going on in my career.
>>17227313
>Is it arrogant to jump in like that when I'm not of the same demographic and may even have significantly different interests?
No, not at all. Not thinking you have a great chance is not a reason for not trying. Asian culture is pretty hesitant of outsiders I think but I mean your only other option is not trying.
>It's what I want.
Go for it, man. I didn't mean to imply that it isn't worth wanting just because its hard to get.
>>17227335
>I have a really ugly girlfriend and want to leave her every time I see a hot chick. Should I do it? Is it worth it?
Yeah. You shouldn't be in a relationship with a girl you talk about like that. If you're afraid she will kill herself then call the cops and get her committed but in the end you're not responsible for her mental health. You can't let her instability hold you hostage like that. It isn't fair to either of you.
>>17227315
>How can I change that? Everytime I'm looking inside myself it gets worse, I feel like a fucking Box of Pandora.
For me I found the things I liked about myself. I liked that I was tall, I liked that I enjoyed making music, I liked that I had a good sense of humor. I then isolated the things I didn't like about myself. I didn't like that I was lazy, I didn't like that I was a bit overweight, I didn't like that I got angry whenever girls would pick other guys over me.
Once you can separate those two things and address them one on one they become a lot easier but like I said earlier this is all just stuff that worked for me. If you truly can't reconcile the things you hate about yourself with yourself therapy can do wonders.
>>17227337
>has having sex with many women filled the void in your heart, op?
There is no void but I do understand why you feel compelled to think that. It can kind of sting to think that there's a guy out there who is happy and content with his life.
I understand why you'd try to poke holes in that. I used to be the same way. It infuriated me when I met or talked to people who had all the things I wanted and was just happy about it and oblivious to the fact that I was hurting so badly. It felt like a punch in the gut.
Something to think about.
>>17227345
That's a really hard thing for me.
I feel like every quality of my personality gets boring in a couple of minutes. Yeah, my humor sometimes makes people laugh really loud. And some of girls/guys love talking with me about muh serious topics.
But I feel like I'd get bored with myself in a couple of days. I literally can't stand looking in the mirror, it just feels like listening to the same song so many times that it makes you sick. I care about other people's opinions about me and I can't do shit because I don't want to be seen as "overconfident", "dumb" or just "irritating".
Anyway, thanks for your advice.
>>17227357
One thing about your response made me feel more confident - how similar your problems are. I'm tall, not overweight but definitely not fit, lazy as fuck and extremely envious when girls pick other guys over me. And I'm tall, I like music and my humor is pretty good. But as I've typed above, I feel like I'm boring. And people quickly lose their interest.
>>17227357
>You can't let her instability hold you hostage like that
She's just so kind, loving and sweet though. But she's absolutely dependent on me for all of her happiness. She lays in bed all day and waits until I can cuddle her. She gets upset if I'm on my phone at all while I lay in bed with her too, basically she her ideal day is doing nothing but cuddling.
But she deserves someone who cares about her, she's such a good person she's just grown up with shitty, idiotic and lazy parents.
It's so hard to imagine her crying all night and day if I left. She could barely sleep when I met her, now she sleeps like a normal person other than a few nights a week.
>>17224909
It is any worth to meeting with women when your life is shit? That is my question OP.
>>17227371
I never thought I'd be the guy in a relationship like this
>>17227368
>I don't want to be seen as "overconfident", "dumb" or just "irritating".
Tell me more about this.
>>17227386
Uhh, I always spent most of my time in highschool hanging out around the "cool guys", who liked drinking, smoking weed and fucking every girl they could
But my whole personality was a pushover, I was extremely insecure but everyone thought that I'm overconfident and I like bullying people
Now that I'm thinking that's one of the reasons why I feel like my personality is shit - I haven't ever achieved anything by myself. I lost my virginity only because I acted to be a tough guy and got drunk on a party.
>>17227396
What kind of people have you seen around that you'd be more interested in being with?
>>17227405
None.
That's the problem. I can't find any friends that would interest me if I'm being myself and hanging out with "cool guys" gets too tiring and requires pretending to be tough.
>>17227407
>I can't find any friends that would interest me if I'm being myself
Ideally speaking.
>>17227368
>But as I've typed above, I feel like I'm boring. And people quickly lose their interest.
For me, as soon as I let go of the idea that I wasn't worth people's time I found people being more interested in me. Insecurity is one of those things that permeates everything you do, not just talking to women. Don't worry about how you interact with other people or what other people think, just start with yourself. As soon as you can figure out how to feel confident in yourself, even with no one in the room, people will gravitate towards you.
>>17227386
>>17227368
>I care about other people's opinions about me and I can't do shit because I don't want to be seen as "overconfident", "dumb" or just "irritating".
That's what you have to overcome. I'm sure plenty of people I meet don't like me but I stopped letting that define me. I'd rather be a guy in the room that a few people hate as opposed to the wallflower.
And let me let you in on a secret; if you're a confident, well spoken charismatic person, jealous people are going to hate you. They're going to be irritated with you. They're going to see you talking to the girls they want to talk to, hanging out with the people they want to hang out with, telling jokes that everyone laughs at and they're going to hate it.
If you're doing it right, some people SHOULD be hating you.
>>17227371
>But she deserves someone who cares about her
Thats the key sentence. You're doing her no favors by letting her keep this illusion. Sooner or later you're going to leave her and if you really care about it you'll do it sooner before she gets even more attached.
You can't be her life preserver because sooner or later she'll drag you down with her and you'll both drown.
>>17227504
Jesus christ, thank you anon. Shit like that really motivates me.
>>17227516
No problem. Find what makes you happy and commit yourself to it. You'll like yourself more for it and in response other people will as well.
How to play off retarded mistakes/clumsiness?
>>17227209
are you still in regular contact with your friend?
>>17224909
>Ask a 25 year old guy who has had sex with a different girl every night for a week anything.
That's depressing man, I don't want your advice
>>17228089
>How to play off retarded mistakes/clumsiness?
Don't ashamed. Even if you do something stupid just brush it off. If you're uncomfortable and ashamed the people around you will be too.
I learned this the best on stage. If I fuck up a part or miss a beat the worst thing I could do is stop and get red faced and embarrassed. I just laugh it off and say "whoops" into the mic and people hardly notice.
Social interaction, in this sense, is kind of like slight of hand. Keep people's attention where you want it to be. Keep their attention on who you are as a whole and your ability to overcome mistakes, not the mistakes themselves.
>>17228097
I never claimed that everyone needs my advice. If you don't want it you're more than welcome to not take it. I'm not offended by someone not wanting to live the exact same life I do.
Why? No really. What's the appeal of having sex with multiple women when you can just see one woman who you have history and experience with.
A hole is a hole, it's not going to feel all that different so I don't get the appeal.
>>17228094
Yeah we're friends but I dont want anything more than friends now. Priorities have changed yet I keep looking for someone new and can't seem to find them
>>17228139
You're asking why someone can't be bothered going through the rigmarole of getting a gf?
Alternatively, what's the appeal of having a gf for sex when you can get a slut for way less effort.
i'm a kissless virgin, with no personality, no social skills, no hobbies, no good looks, no friends and i have a weird "nerd voice"
how do i get a gf?
also, i asked a coworker (different branch of company) out via email a few months ago. she never responded. i will see her at a company mandated training next week. how do i make it not awkward when i see her?
>>17224909
Where to find women when under 21 and not in college?
>>17228139
>A hole is a hole, it's not going to feel all that different so I don't get the appeal.
You don't have to get it. I don't "get" golf so I don't play it. Its that simple. Something being different is not indicative of better. You live your life, I live mine, it isn't a competition of viewpoints.
The appeal for me is I spend most of the year on the road in different cities. I meet so many different people in all different places so a committed relationship is just not realistic for me right now.
If you want to learn how to get better at talking to women, sleep with more women or get any insight into the way I use socialization and networking to build my personal/professional life you can ask me.
If you don't give a shit, you're absolutely free to go about your day. I'm not here to convince anyone how I live is better than the way they live.
>>17228154
>Alternatively, what's the appeal of having a gf for sex when you can get a slut for way less effort.
I'm not even talking about a GF. Take friends with benefits, its reliable sex but you both know what the person likes and dislikes. Random hookups are a guessing game to an extent.
>>17228160
This is OP by the way. Lost my tripcode.
>>17228160
>I meet so many different people in all different places so a committed relationship is just not realistic for me right now.
see >>17228173
I understand avoiding a committed relationship at times but still desiring sex.
>>17228158
Can't help you on that one, dude. I've been out of college for a long time and I rarely play any all ages venues so 95% of the women I interact with are over 21.
>>17228157
>also, i asked a coworker (different branch of company) out via email a few months ago. she never responded.
Impersonal date invites are a no go. Give her the courtesy of looking her in the eyes and actually asking her with sincerity. Make it not awkward by not behaving awkwardly.
If you don't act weird about it I doubt she would too.
Here's the deal, man. I have a 26 year old friend, never graduated from high school, knows a bit of programming, tall, lanky, curly hair, not much in the way of fashion or looks but he gets laid twice as much as I do because he is just engaging.
He talks to people, he starts conversations and he's smart. He gets rejected a lot but he doesn't care.
You convince yourself you have no good looks and that you're boring and useless and it shows. Your lack of confidence is toxic and it taints everything in your life. It shows in the way you walk and talk and interact and look and it depresses people.
If you truly feel hopeless I'd recommend therapy. Find a way to love yourself and getting other people to love you will come effortlessly.
Feel better about yourself. That is the first, second and third rule in getting better at social interaction.
>>17228177
I know what you mean, I have quite a few friends with benefits. I would say a small percentage of the girls I end up going home with are complete strangers. I organize girls in my phone by city so I also have some sort of network to hit up whenever I swing through.
>>17224909
Were you anxious before of staying and amping up the sexual tension with the girls until the sex part ? I feel like I lack sexualness. I always seem to give a friendly vibe, and I feel like I could sleep with girls I find really attractive, they are attracted to me at first, but I haven't brought out of myself the sexual vibe that I feel I carry with me and kind of hide behind a wall of insecurities.
Like I'm not a good sexual partner, I kind of don't say to a girl how attracted I am to them, I hide my intentions.
>>17228197
thanks for the advice
>>17228285
>I kind of don't say to a girl how attracted I am to them, I hide my intentions.
Don't hide your intentions. Most women can sort of decide whether or not they'd sleep with you in the first few moments of hanging out with you.
If they put themselves in situations where sex wouldn't be that crazy of a step they're definitely open.
For example, if you're having a good time with a girl and you invite her to a second location, maybe one thats a bit more isolated, you can bet she's down. If you're in a public place and doesn't want to go anywhere more private, then she's probably not down.
You have to trust that its not up to you to convince her or trick her into having sex with her. Chances are she's already decided whether or not she wants to and if she is open to spending alone time together there's a high probability she is just kind of waiting for you to make a move.
>>17228197
>Can't help you on that one, dude. I've been out of college for a long time and I rarely play any all ages venues so 95% of the women I interact with are over 21.
Although you didn't help me, I appreciate that you addressed the question; thank you
How do you approach girls?
>>17224909
How does it feel to have STDs?
>>17228365
Thanks for the answer.
Here's the thing : I've had some girls decide that they could have sex with me and hang out in private gatherings. But instead of enjoying this, I shyed away from it and kind of convinced myself to not act instead of going in for the kill. As if my unconscious belief was that I couldn't just have sex with girls like the most normal thing in the world, but that it's a tremendously difficult and/or magical act happening through destiny and without my own doing or whatnot.
How to get from passive & afraid to active & confident ? I always seem to put them on pedestals, especially the ones I'm really attracted to. I have an overall lack of confidence and when I meet them "in the moment" feeling good etc, my mental chatter comes back and the insecurities rise up and I shut down from the confidence world.
>>17228427
>Boom. Conversation started.
>the conversation should flow naturally
>something you're passionate about
>It can literally be anything, just make sure it isn't forced.
Yeah, i'm boned.
>>17228435
They have pills that help clear most of them up. I do get the herp outbreaks every once in awhile but I just wait for them to go away before I start banging randoms and spreading diseases again. Why you jelly?
>not actually op
>guessing this is his response
>but he will actually try an come across as intelligent and safe in his promiscuity
>response will still sound stupid and irrational to any semi intelligent human bean
>>17228456
>How to get from passive & afraid to active & confident ? I always seem to put them on pedestals, especially the ones I'm really attracted to.
You have this idea in your head that because you are the ones attracted to them that they have some sort of dominion over you and thats just not true.
Women are people and desire connections just like anyone else. Your subconscious belief that you don't deserve the girls you're attracted to is smothering every attempt you make.
Sometimes getting over insecurity in the moment is like jumping into the pool my friend. Sometimes you have to just do it. When it works the next time won't be so frightening. The more it happens, the more it will feel second nature to be able to read a woman's body and reactions.
Don't be afraid of failure. You can accomplish nothing in life, sexual or not, without failure.
Women want you to be sure that you want them. Be confident, be sure of yourself, realize that she wouldn't be there sitting next to you looking deep into your eyes if she didn't want you to.
If it doesn't work out you're just back where you started. You have nothing to lose.
>>17228460
>>17228435
I don't have any STDs, I get tested. Also, you don't have to try to come across as smart if you actually are smart.
Like I've said a trillion times, you're welcome to think everything I'm saying is bullshit. I don't care in the slightest.
I'm sorry that my lack of reaction to your insults are irritating you.
>>17228532
Thanks for the answer, again.
Can you share some stories of when you starting living "on the edge" with women ?
Did it just click naturally without a big deal going on inside you once you started trusting yourself more ?
You've made the decision to embrace your qualities and work on your negative traits, but how come you had the willingness and strength to stay aligned with your decision ?
Have you ever lacked self trust, were you making plans and not achieving them, dreaming your life, until you got sick of it and started living it ?
When did you decide you "had enough" ? how was it at first to stick with it ?
how was it then when this mindset was implemented ?
What kind of inner reflections or practices did you have to get from the old mindset to the new one ?
>>17228605
I decided that I was tired of being afraid. I was 22-23, realized that I was approaching 30 faster than I had anticipated and realized I had spent my entire life just not doing things because I was afraid it wouldn't work out and one day it just seemed so stupid to me.
I started living on the edge when I just started saying what I was thinking; the things I had previously been afraid to say because the answer might have been no.
And of course I failed. I got a lot of "no thanks" and a lot of "I don't think so" and it hurt but in a small, exhilarating way I was still glad that I had asked. If I asked a girl to go out and she shirked off the question or wandered away I didn't go back home and fester over everything I did wrong, I was satisfied in knowing that I had tried. It was still an adrenaline rush, in a way. It was hard to stick to at first but I knew I couldn't go back to the way I was. That was far more terrifying than being rejected.
Once I started sticking my neck out more it started working every now and again. Then it started working more and more and more. I can guarantee you that you'll remember the hot girl you went home with the one time far more than the three you tried and failed with.
I held my breath, stopped thinking about the what ifs and maybes and just said what I was thinking, like "You're fucking adorable." or "We should get a 6 pack and watch that movie you were telling me about". I started getting more shows, I started making more connections and after a year or two I find I'm hardly phased by anything.
I'm so happy with the direction my life started going in that even people telling me I'm a slut or an asshole or narcissistic doesn't mean anything to me because if I am all those things I'm having a great time doing them.
I had to decide I was done being afraid. I was done being a spectator. I had to look in the mirror, tell myself I was worth something and decide. It was hard. It is still hard but, I can't go back.
>>17228456
I know you've already gotten replies for this, but here's my personal take.
Next time you want to make a nerve-wracking decision (go to a bar alone, make a move with a girl that obviously likes you, etc), treat that decision like an immutable future event. Treat it like something that is just going to happen, for better or worse.
As autistic as that sounds, it works for me. I think it works for the same reason that daily planners/schedulers work - it tricks your mind into thinking the decision has already been made.
I've recently been making an effort to improve myself to the point where I can be considered to be normal. Because of that, I'm going out a lot more, almost every weekend for the past few months. I'm actually having fun at bars/clubs now. But here comes the tricky part. I can't get out of my own head. I saw my bros get laid like you do, getting a new girl every weekend they out and sleeping with her. They make it seem so effortless, so when I'm dragged along, I often go home empty handed, and it does bother me. Obviously I don't let it show, but part of me wishes that I could be that successful.
I asked him for advice, and this is what he said.
>"I get rejected wayyyy more than I get it in."
On rejection:
>"They don't know you. They just assume things about you, so even if you get rejected, it's not personal. There are plenty of girls, just try again."
On reading signals:
>"It's all about the eyes. Once you flirt more and more with girls, it becomes easier to tell which ones are into you."
Is it really that simple?
Also, I'm not trying to blame my race or anything like that, but I can't help but feel like the token minority in my group of friends. They're all white bros, like the ones in fraternities, despite not being in a fraternity. So when they try to pick up sorority girls, I convince myself they would never bother with me, so I self-sabotage. How do I get over this?
>>17228633
Thanks, that sounds like reality
>>17228659
Thanks also, I guess that training myself to believe that my action will move me toward my goals inevitably as long as I trust myself, as well as not overthinking what could go wrong, would indeed save me a lot of problems
>>17224909
Where to meet chicks that isn't a bar or club?
25 year old male, recently single, trying to get past my ex and just at least meet a new circle of people. Going to an open mic tomorrow but I dunno, we'll see how well that goes over.
nice thread bro
What if you're oblivious about girls? I never seem to notice when a girl actually likes me but my friends have told me several times that I've missed a few obvious opportunities. I'm that guy that everyone in the classroom liked and that didn't have trouble with anyone, I'm not forcing myself to be friends with everyone but it just naturally happens that I like a lot of people and they like me back, so everytime I click with a girl I just take it that she's another friend
>>17224909
What's your soundcloud OP?
>>17224944
>I'm a 7/10 on a great day
So you're fucking fat bitches and boy bodies?
>>17230061
7/10 must still be above average
>>17230061
>So you're fucking fat bitches and boy bodies?
If it makes you feel better to think that, sure.
>>17229993
My soundcloud is linked to absolutely everything about me, I'd rather not give 4chan access to all that.
I'm not "afraid of women"
It's a fact that when someone like me pursues a woman it's immediately stalking, or being creepy, or whatever
that's why i've never tried, or why I never will try. I'm only trying not to get arrested
Read my post please bruh
>>17231070
Any idea on how to bridge awkward silences? It's a matter of not knowing what to say, bit also not wanting to say just anything to break the silence and make it awkward.
>>17231166
I've found that conversations I have to force aren't worth having. I, personally, am not too fond of "awkward" girls. I want an interaction, a connection, not sit and babble and pry a words out of someone who isn't interested in saying any.
Like I said previously its a good idea to start by socializing places that are related to the things you're passionate about. Even if you're super awkward and only like table top games and comic books if you GO to a comic book shop or a game shop and hang out for events its a lot easier to connect with people than it is just cold approaching a random. It gives you a common foundation to start from.
You bond over things you're both passionate about, you typically don't run out of anything to say because you love the topic you're discussing and then the rest just kind of falls into place. That's what I've found, anyways.
>>17231103
The often disappointing part about club/bar meetups is that even though the interaction seems passionate and exciting for the time the next morning has a habit of washing away those feelings
A part of living in the moment of an evening is accepting that once the evening is over people have a tendency to just kind of go back to their lives.
When a girl comes to one of my shows and dances and drinks and gets caught up in the excitement of it all and decides to suck my dick in the green room there's a good chance thats the end of our interactions.
Honestly, I would let this one go. Girls don't make out with strange guys at clubs because they're interested in starting relationships with them. Not saying its impossible, if you want to try you should go for it, its just unlikely. She was drunk, thought you were cute, had fun and moved on.
There's nothing wrong with that you just shouldn't get too invested in magical one time encounters because typically thats all they are.
My advice is to strike while the iron is hot. Don't wait until she wakes up hungover the next day to make your move.
Some tips on sharing your music with others?
I have a problem of expecting perfection out of every single track I make, so I end up uploading less and less music because I am the biggest critic for myself. And even those tracks that I made and have on my soundcloud, now I would delete them all if I could replace them with better songs that for some reason I think I can make.
The thing is that I have almost never ever got a negative comment or a bad review of my EP ever (maybe when I was starting out). And the small fan base that I have is always so eager to hear something new. So I am in a vicious cycle of wanting to make the best songs possible and putting out lots of music. I think out of 50 songs, only 1 actually gets made the whole way.
Should I just focus on sculpting my ideas or actually upload more even if I am not fully satisfied with it and that way learn through trial and error?
>>17224909
You sound like those assholes on late-night infomercials that want to sell you their book on how to get rich.
>>17224909
>25 year old guy
>my wisdom
Oh boy.
>>17231295
Cute.
>>17231287
I don't know what it is about /adv/, man. Its like people are welcome to come here with their problems but not welcome AFTER they've solved their problem and want to help others who had the same problem. I'm not sure how that makes me the asshole but, okay. If you say so.
>>17231255
I honestly found no success until I found MY sound. I went through 4 or 5 different projects, duos and producer names before I settled into a style I was comfortable with. It took me nearly 5 years of really grinding to get where I am now and a lot of it was being stuck exactly where you are.
I could get into production techniques and maximizing workflow and all that but I'll summarize it all up by saying once you DO have a track you're confident in, push that shit, hard. If you're not confident in your tracks, no one else will be. There's no problem with putting out dinky songs here and there but the only people that will care are your followers. Blogs and labels want cohesive releases. They don't give a shit about singles until you're already an established name.
When I put out my first EP I shopped it to every blog, website, venue and forum that would listen. I payed for Facebook ads, gave it away for free on Bandcamp and sent every track in for review on any site or compilation or mixtape series that accepted submissions. The goal is to spread your shit as far and wide as possible and get people to keep seeing your name. Name recognition is everything, even if your music isn't that great.
There's nothing wrong with starting a song, finishing it and never doing anything with it. Its a learning process, just another brick on the road that will lead you to where you want to go with your music.
Make music. That's all I can suggest. As long as you don't stop the cohesiveness will come with experience. Trial and error got me to where I am now so I can't say its a bad idea.
Can a 20 y.o. neet get a gf? How?
>tfw girl I work with is willing to have sex with you
>she's obnoxious and a butterface
Do I even go for it? Everyone at work wants me to, but I really don't want to get mixed with someone like her. She's too clingy and she keeps making unfunny jokes with customers.
>>17231425
*with me
>>17231374
Quit replying to shitposters. You are on 4chan, ofcourse you will be shat on, don't be surprised.
You yourself told that there are always haters and jelly people, if you reply to them you only give them more fuel and attention to continue shitposting and the thread will slowly die down. Ignoring them and not giving any (You)'s to them is the best way, same principle applies irl
As cheesy as it sounds, let the haters hate
>inb4 reddit
>>17225001
norwegian here fuck me pls
>>17231425
>she's obnoxious and a butterface
You're not attracted to her, she's clingy and obnoxious and she works with you. I don't see the benefit. I'm all for doing fun things just because you can but it seems like maybe a night of sex with a girl you aren't even attracted to isn't worth the trouble its going to cause.
I wouldn't have sex with a girl I worked with anyways.
>>17231235
Nightclub guy here. Thanks for the reply.
Yes I understand what you're saying.
I just want to have fun and I am not looking for a relationship at all. Nope nope nope. So I was hoping I could somehow make that clear. But I'm not sure when you could point that out. I think being direct about that subject is okay, right? "Listen, I'm not really looking for something serious. I just like to see what happens. Having fun." Something like that?
Anyways, she did sent me 2 pics, one of her chilling at the park. And one of us together that night. She really liked the pic. I must have done something right?
I'm really good with girls online. But in person I'm such a nervous guy. Like once I get introduced to a girl I'm fine and charming. I'll give an example
>at gym
>approaching sanitizer and paper towels
>if a girl is present at the sanitizer station I get all awkward, not wanting to invade their space, not wanting to be over powering and intrusive.
>If I'm on a machine and lock eyes with a girl I get nervous they think I'm checking them out.
I really only have this nervousness at the gym, and its only with complete strangers. I have it with guys too, so it isn't really a sexual thing, but I think with the girls it is to an extent.
>>17232173
This may sound counter intuitive but you have to stop worrying about what the girl might think. Everyone is a stranger until you get to know them. Women are no different.
I've had girls walk away from me mid sentence but that doesn't stop me from being friendly. I'm not going to change who I am depending on how the other person may or may not take it. You're trying to cater your behavior based on a hypothetical response so you're essentially admitting defeat before you even try.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with trading a few words at the sanitizer station. Not a huge conversation, just a "Hey, hows it going".
If she freaks out because some guy dare say a few words to her in the gym then thats her problem, not yours.
Next time you see her maybe say a little more, then a little more, then a little more. If she thinks you're creepy she'll wander off and then guess what? Nothing happens. You're back to where you started and you have nothing to feel sorry for because initiating conversation is the basis of human interaction.
You need to think of it the same way you make friends. Don't think about trying to date her. Don't think about trying to get anything out of her. Don't "come up" with shit to say to her, just talk to her like any other person. Say something to her you would say to a cute teller at a supermarket when you're just trying to be friendly. Make a joke.
Hot girls are used to men either tip-toeing around them like they're made of glass or HAMMERING them with pick up lines and propositions. You might be surprised how receptive they can be when you just say hi, ask them how their day is going and then walk away.
If they smell that you're building up to something they have a habit of shutting down, so my advice is just talk. No end goal, no premise, just casual friendliness.
Plant seeds of conversation, my friend. If she is interested a plant will grow. If she isn't, it won't. Simple as that.
I'm a skinnyfat, short, balding autist.
Be honest, is there even any point in me trying?
>>17224909
>I used to be like you, unsure, nervous, afraid of women.
I'm none of those things. Just creepy and fat.
Good job getting your dick wet though, remember never to let yourself get tied down and always police your condoms
>>17232830
I'm not going to say it will be easy but I will say that stranger things have happened than a seemingly unattractive man having sex with women.
The path to sleeping with women may be harder for you than most but you do yourself no favors by giving up before you've even tried. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, friend.
Is it true that the key to being Alpha is to not give a fuck what anyone else says and focus on your own shit because things will naturally fall into place for you as you live your own life?
>>17224909
Any background on skin converted STDs ?
>>17225050
Idiot. Why should I like you if theres nothing you yourself like about you, I mean you know best.
>>17233089
I suppose the key to being alpha is not giving a shit if anyone else thinks you're alpha. The point of personal satisfaction is knowing that you're happy with your life, not proving to anyone else that you are.
>>17224921
>A DIFFERENT HOT GIRL EVERY FUCKING NIGHT
I HIGHLY doubt that they were hot. Or at least decent at all...
>>17233181
Or if they even existed...
Where do you usually meet women? What are common topics of interest that make women interested enough to be seduced?
>>17234879
There is no specific place or topic of conversation that gets women particularly hot and bothered. Organic conversations can't really be forced that way. Flirting is essentially gauging someone's level of comfortability with you and pushing those boundaries of comfortability as they let their guard down.
If you want practice I'd say start with a bank teller or a grocery store clerk or someone who you only have a few brief moments of contact with at a time. Start with a "Hey hows it going".
Most people will be friendly back. Maybe you'll only speak for a few seconds but its a start. The next time you come back say hi again, mention something about the weather, maybe ask them if they plan on going to the beer festival in town later that day (I'm making up an event). Don't ask them out, just inquire, feel around.
If she asks what you're doing in return maybe briefly mention your weekend. "Yeah I went hiking out of town this weekend at (random state park) have you ever been?" or "I checked out that new movie out and I wasn't a fan have you seen it yet?"
Boom. Conversation started. If you're being friendly, innocuous and casual this should raise no alarms. Eye contact and smiles.
This is how you gain a report with people. As you do this you'll soon be able tell what kind of things they get excited about talking about and what things they don't. Once you get good at feeling people out in this manner you'll be able to accelerate the process, like how you would with a girl you're trying to have sex with that very night.
I've never picked up a girl with any technique or specific topic or method of conversation. Be friendly, be funny, don't hit on her perse, just find out what she likes and get her to talk about it. If you're successful her guard will be down and she won't see you as a potential threat the way a lot of women do when strange men approach them.
How do I escalate a convo in text?
Phone?
I have a girl nearby who said she was horny, but she wanted to get to know me more first through text. Should I initate having a call or meeting up before her?
>>17234879
>>17236034
TL;DR Being interested in the things that the girl is interested in is the best topic to seduce a woman.
>>17224909
>>17224909
this thread again? fuck off OP
>>17236045
She just told me her sushi delivery guy is late. IS THIS CODE?
>>17236045
>How do I escalate a convo in text?
Get her to talk about herself. If she asks you about yourself talk about what you're passionate about. Women have a more advanced bullshit detector than we do so being straight forward is the best way.
When you see an opportunity to flirt, do so, but be funny about it, not creepy.
For example, if she mentions playing volleyball in high school say something like "That's cool, I wanted to play too but I think your butt might look better in those shorts than mine would."
I know thats a lame joke but most girls love that kind of shit. Its cute, disarming, takes a little jab at yourself so she sees you don't take yourself too seriously AND you get to compliment her ass all at the same time without being creepy. They swallow funny flirts a lot better than they do if you just flat out say you like her ass. Chances are she already knows you like her ass, so she'll appreciate you going the extra mile to get points for originality.
Text gives you a little bit more of an opportunity to think through shit before you say but its less engaging than looking her in the eyes. She's far more likely to set down her phone and do something else than if you're with her.
Being on the phone/person though is better for engaging but you have to be quicker on your feet. There's pros and cons for both, so, above all just be funny, cute, lead the conversation but let her think she's leading it.
>>17225562
I'm not even trying to be a dick, but maybe that's on you. Very few people have those interests, so beyond what gets covered in school (which might include some parts getting glossed over), they're not going to know much about the subjects. But that doesn't make them any less fascinating. You just need to present it better. People like being told stories, so is there any way you can frame what sounds like a wealth of knowledge into one? People are attracted to other people, so what can you say about the people in WW II?
>>17236084
Nice, what you described to do is everything i've done so far. thx
>>17236084
>For example, if she mentions playing volleyball in high school say something like "That's cool, I wanted to play too but I think your butt might look better in those shorts than mine would."
The problem I have is that I cannot think of clever things like these to say on the spot.
>>17236140
>The problem I have is that I cannot think of clever things like these to say on the spot.
Practice. You'll get better. Its less to do with being clever and more to do with knowing what kind of things to jump do in situations you continually find yourself in.
Being conversationally clever, much like any other skill, is achieved through trial and error. Some are more gifted than others but improving isn't impossible.
>>17224909
You have an almost 100% chance of having contracted an std. So that's good news since this didn't happen.
>>17227251
>Getting laid is also not an achievement.
This isn't related to your conversation, but reading that really makes sense. I'm working on recovering from being a NEET for the past three years, a 22-year-old who hasn't so much as held a girl's hand. For a while now, I've just been feeling – and probably acting – like I'm pressured to get laid, as some sort of validation or proof that I can become "normal" again.
The simplest way to fix that, though, is to realize that it really isn't anything. It's just a way of life – something you do because feel like it. It gets rid of the desperate, cloying behavior of stereotypical virgins. Putting it next to all of the other things I want to do in life, it doesn't even rate, so it doesn't make sense for me to lump everything together. People also don't give a shit if you get laid or not.
It's freeing to realize that.
Been there. Done that, Gimme your worst, chicken shit.
>>17236489
Ayyeeeee
>>17236503
Yeah, that's a good way to look at it. Freeing is the right word.
