woman troubles
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Hey, guys! Used to be a huge /soc/ user back in the day, just your garden variety /b/tard now. But, I need some advice.
So, I've been dating this girl for about 6 months now. She's pretty, she's fun, she's compassionate, I'm in love with her. She's in love with me. The problem? There's a huge issue that means we're loving on borrowed time. I want kids, she doesn't. I barely saw her this weekend because I honestly don't know what to do. If things keep going the way they are, a lot of momentum will build up and we'll have to address the issue at a later date with much worse circumstances. If I nip this in the bud now, it's a lot easier than down the road. But, what are the chances that one of us can change our minds? It's a big, huge difference in the future that we want.
TL;DR she doesn't want kids, I do
>>17223478
If shes not 25-27 give her a time. When biological clock hits the right time, she will want kids more than you do
>>17223478
OP here with a few more things:
The girl I'm currently dating is lazy and works from home and smokes weed all day every day. I'm an alcoholic lazy gamer, so it seems to work. But I suffer from Bipolar and I need to get out from time to time. I usually drag her on a walk or just go window shopping. But she often resents it and can't wait to get home to smoke.
Enter girl #2: I started hanging out with another girl. She's much younger than I am (still in the legal ranges, so don't think too young) and a fitness fanatic. She's also totally OCD, but when I'm with her we take walks in the woods, drink moderately and write music. The last couple of times we hung out, we ended up coiled together cuddling, but nothing much more. She seems like a much healthier person for me to spend time with. But, there's a huge age gap (ten years), so she seems like such a baby to me. She's also the complete opposite of my current girlfriend. I've thought about leaving my current girlfriend for her, but not in a serious manner. I do know that girl #2 is down with being with me. She's a whiskey drinking, weed smoking musician who shares a lot of interests with me, but I honestly never thought of her as more than a friend than recently.
TL;DR there's another girl who is the opposite of my current girlfriend who seems like a much healthier person to be with
>>17223491
She's 34 and I'm 30
>>17223508
continuing with more info:
I'm a gamer, a musician, a writer. I work retail and love it. I'm a slob and my brain can't comprehend chaos vs order, it seems. My current GF and I are the same way. Organized chaos is how we live our lives (which drives my employees and peers crazy). It looks like a mess, but it's not. The second girl is OCD to the point where if her work out clothes are sitting on the floor, she freaks out about the mess. So, I see a huge incompatibility in that.
In terms of attractiveness, I am attracted to both of them. One being a BBW, the other being a 110lb pixie. I find them both equally attractive, so I don't have a leaning in that aspect.
But, it's just such a mind fuck. A couple of years ago I tried to kill myself and ended up in rehab twice in one year. I was with someone who was totally cold and cruel and refused to understand things from my perspective. "I shouldn't be punished and have to stop drinking because you have a problem" is what she'd tell me. I'm terrifyed that either of them could turn into that.
TL;DR current GF is compatible in terms of living, new girl might clash with it. Scared either can act like my ex.
>>17223534
So, I'm here. Asking for a bit of advice. I'm drinking iced coffee, sitting in my kitchen with my dogs. Avoiding both of these girls for the day while I work on my music. I have no idea what to do. Friday night was spent high and drunk with my GF crying about how we can't stay together because of the kid thing. Wednesday night was spent curled up drinking scotch, smoking weed, watching horror movies with the other girl. I feel like their needs to be a change, but I also feel like I found the one in my current girlfriend. But the new girl may be healthier for me. IDK.
I used to suffer from what I referred to as "Teenage Girl Syndrome" where I defined myself by the relationships I was in. I wasn't the guy who played music at the local bar, I was the guy who dated the ballerina. Or the guy who dated the writer. Or the guy who dated the Librarian. I got over that complex with years of therapy. So, I know this isn't my issue. My issue is who I would be happier with and who would be healthier for me.
>>17223513
Try to sort out your own life and I would recommend you to dump her for that other girl. But then again, I know how it is when you love your other half no matter how fucked up she is and believe me, dumping her will hurt like a motherfucker.
If she doesnt want kids by now then I guess she will never want them but who knows. I think it has something to do with her lifestyle
>>17223544
yeah, I'm really thinking I want to be with the second girl, but I also really love the first one. It's such a hard place to be in... I got some good nature walking in today and the nature walking made me really want to be with the second girl. But now I'm in bed with two laptops working on some photography while listening to music and it makes me want to be with the first one.
