1)/Adv/, does purposely losing contact with people, because you feel lonely in their company okay, or should i compromise and fit in? I always feel like i wasted time on such gatherings. How do you stop feeling like shit, when you don't sense connection?
>All those "i'm 29 and have no friends" threads are pretty depressing.
2)How do you develop close friendships? I'm in college
Used to be an anxious nearly autistic teenager, who didn't fit anywhere and thus, rejected everyone out of envy.
So, i don't have any friendships from school, and, honestly, never had real ones there. I was watching anime about friendships and dreaming about it, but was too scared to trust anyone.
>>17223155
>does purposely losing contact with people, because you feel lonely in their company okay
Yes, everyone does this. You can't force a friendship. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
>should i compromise and fit in?
Generally the answer is "YES, dumbass": that's kind of what this whole society thing is all about (go read about the hedgehog's dilemma). But not enough for it to make you unhappy or drive you nuts: basically, you compromise on the little things, but stand firm on a few important things.
Some people can't do this because they're freaks, but that's rare and often fixable (by psychiatrists).
>I always feel like i wasted time on such gatherings.
Then don't go to them. Don't waste your time doing shit because other people like it.
Go to social gatherings that you actually enjoy. Join clubs that are relevant to your interests, and go to the events they organize. That's why they organize them, after all!
>How do you stop feeling like shit, when you don't sense connection?
You don't. Everyone feels this feeling except psychopaths, basically (even schizoids do: it's usually one of the big reasons they even go to psychiatrists in the first place since they don't get lonely and are otherwise happy being by themselves).
Repressing it is a bad idea because it's a deep emotional drive, and this interferes with other emotions (again see schizoids as an example, most of them try).
>too scared to trust anyone.
Fix that. If you can't do it by yourself, see a therapist and they can help (your university probably provides one if you're in a 1st world country). Trust issues are ridiculously common so don't worry, they deal with that shit all day long.
>>17223553
Thanks for the reply, anon, that's reassuring.
>>17223155
>Go to social gatherings that you actually enjoy. Join clubs that are relevant to your interests, and go to the events they organize. That's why they organize them, after all!
Don't end up like us, a 26 yo loser with no friends.
>>17223155
if they make you feel like shit they dont deserve your company, thats the bottom line. you shouldnt have to overthink if your friend is a true friend. i know this because i have a best friend. you also feel like shit cause you know if you drop them youll have no one else. but trust me youre doing your self a favor. no one wants to be your close friend in college. trust me. close friendships are from hs or work. well actually you might find some in class. go find out.
