This shit again
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Fuck, you guys probably see this thread all the time
So there's this girl. Met her in college. When I met her, she was adamant that she would not date, so naturally I gave up pursuit pretty quick. We lose touch and reconnect several months later, she's dating this guy. Alright, cool. I'm into her, but nbd. Sort of lose touch again after a bit
Get back in touch with her more recently. She's still dating the same dude, but this time we keep talking, and we become friends. I've had platonic female friends before, no problem, but I find that I can't get this girl out of my mind. Clearly I want to be more than friends. I think her bf is a bit of a goober, and like they'll probably end up breaking up
But right now I'm torturing myself with this shit. On one hand, if I bail on the friendship again, I'll feel shitty because I do legitimately like her as a friend, and obviously its shit to do that. But on the other hand, I feel like a creepy loser sort of waiting, hoping, and wanting her to hit the inevitable break up with her bf so I have a shot
Need one of you guys to tell me I'm just being a beta fucking loser or some shit, and that I'm way too infatuated with the concept of this one human
Do yourself a favor and break up contact with her. I've been in a similar situation and you'll just end up hating either yourself or her, and neither are correct obviously. You can't be platonic friends with a girl that you're in love with, you'll always hate her boyfriends and be jealous, and if you're like me you won't let her feel that but you'll suffer from it yourself. It's not egoistic to stop torturing yourself over this, it's the smart thing to do and she should understand that.
>>17222692
Should I talk to her about it though?
>>17222703
She should understand it if she's not a bitch. I know that the girl I was into wanted to keep me as a friend even though I told her that it hurts me, at that point I knew that she wasn't worth it. It's up to you really.
>>17222664
>you guys probably see this thread all the time
Yes actually, but at least you aren't asking how to make her break up with her boyfriend.
Doesn't the fact that she refused to date you but ended up dating someone else clue you in to something that might be important?
If you can't be around her without having romantic feelings and you're waiting around for her to break up with her boyfriend, you are not in this to be platonic friends. This is also not behavior that is good for you mentally. You really should stop spending time with her until you can get over this.
Sure, talk to her about it if you want to let her know why you're dropping out of her life again, but I don't think it's something worth making a big deal about.
>Doesn't the fact that she refused to date you but ended up dating someone else clue you in to something that might be important?
Wasn't talking to her at the time she got over her relationship-phobia, so I'd say that this isn't just a case of me being a spaghetti-autist.
Damn... like I know this shit is unhealthy for me. The first two times I stopped talking to her were so natural, and we were still basically strangers. Sucks that this time I might have to consciously kill a friendship
Alright, thanks my dudes
