So there's this girl, right? (I know, how cliche)
Basically, I used to be like best friends with her older sibling. I used to hang out at their house almost every day, and eventually started chilling with her a lot. She's 8 years younger than me, so she started referring to me as her older brother, and I honestly thought of her as my little sister, too. I loved her like family. She was 15-16 at the time and basically admitted to having a huge crush on me in that awkward way only teenage girls I can. I was pretty into her too, but she was 15 and I was 23, I knew better than to mess with that.
Well this was 3 or so years ago. Said friend and I got in a huge fight and never talk anymore. Little sister and I hung out for a year or so afterwards, but eventually she drifted away.
I say she drifted because I never did. It's been three years and I'm still hung up on this girl, who's now 18 and graduated from high school. I haven't spoken to her since Christmas, but I desperately want to ask her out. But I'm really worried I'm chasing an impulse without considering the consequences -Is this a good idea? What if she doesn't realize I'm asking her out? What happens when she goes off to college?
Any advice you could provide on this entire situation would help, because my brain is a jumbled mess about it.
tl;dr Want to ask out a girl I haven't talked to in years and is going off to college soon, what do
Bad idea. Before you even think about asking her out, you should probably consider reconciling with the older sister AKA your former friend.
What happened?
>>17222365
It's....pretty complicated. Trying to avoid the wall of text. In short, I got sick of pining for her attention, so I just decided not to text her first anymore. Then she never texted me again. Then she got married to some white trash piece of shit.
She's the black sheep of sorts, though. Little sister is an angel.
>>17222388
Is that really a huge fight? So passive-aggressive lol.
Anyway, if the older sister lives far and far away then whatever. Expect her to be very weirded out since it's been so long.
If you do initiate this, how do you plan on approaching her?
>>17222412
It's kind of an ironic label, but considering we haven't spoke for 2 1/2 years, it kind of has to be considered huge, doesn't it? I'm not too worried about her. Worst case scenario, she'll be a little weirded out, but if her reaction isn't "Aw, I always kind of thought so," she's an idiot.
I have NO clue how to approach this girl though. At all. I haven't texted her since Christmas and haven't seen her in person since...Christmas the year before? There's not a lot of opportunity there, and I have no idea what to say.
>>17222434
Hmmm, sometimes the simplest approach is the best. Overthink at the first step and you will never even take it.
Just shoot her a text asking her how she has been and how's she's doing. If she doesn't respond, then there's your answer. If she does then I'd say you got a good shot rekindling an old friendship and possibly even more.
Good luck
>>17222440
But that's, not the easy part I guess because even that makes me nervous, but that's the part I'm capable of. I can text her and do "Hey, what's up, how ya been" and all that stuff.
The big obstacle is asking her out. I mean, it's been years -she's a different person. I might barely even know her. How do I make my intentions clear without giving some huge, cringeworthy speech?
>>17222450
Don't ask her out right now.
Worry about stuff like
>What happens when she goes off to college?
>What if she doesn't realize I'm asking her out?
way later. Now is not the time
I think you should get to know who she is. Who knows? She might not be who you remembered. Once you finally feel comfortable around her, I'm sure you will get a better idea of how to make your intentions clear.
>>17222463
>Once you finally feel comfortable around her
What does that even me though?
She's always filled me with those lame ass butterflies in my stomach, even when she was a kid.
>>17222485
>What does that even me though?
What does that even MEAN though
Sorry it's early
>>17222485
>>17222501
>She's always filled me with those lame ass butterflies in my stomach, even when she was a kid.
What? You sure didn't mention that in the OP lol.
Anyway, what I mean is that once you guys start talking again you will feel more comfortable and basically have a better idea on how to approach her since the two of you are AT LEAST talking again. FAR BETTER than right now, where the two of you don't talk at all.
You didn't approach her because she was underage when the two of you were still talking. Now, she is of age but you don't know who she is as of right now. Don't think of dating her right now, you at bare minimum have to start talking to her again (which you haven't done).
>>17222519
I didn't think me being an insecure 12-year-old on the inside really warranted mentioning. Especially given how obvious I've already made it here.
And I guess what you're trying to say is that I need to temper my expectations which, yeah, probably true. I guess I just can't imagine a world where I wouldn't like her. But I'm being stupid, as usual.
