Holy shit, are you me?

Especially lately, it's really grating on me. She re-injured herself doing something stupid, so for the past two months I've been essentially doing everything for her from cooking meals, rotating her in bed, changing out ice and heat packs, clothing her, helping her use the washroom, ect. I wake up, and it's just like I'm immediately bombarded with problems. If not physical needs, she's throwing emotional issues and conflicts between her and her mother at me. A lot of the time, I don't even get a good morning.

I suppose it's no wonder my sleeping schedule is so screwed up. Just so I can actually get some time while she's sleeping.

>>17222308

At first I hated how needy she was and how much bs she put on me. I felt like she was a burden and an emotional vampire constantly feeling drained. Then I grew to like taking care of her, I grew to enjoy our relationship but now I'm wondering if this is healthy? I mean I'm happy but...I don't know.

Our relationship is very unequal in that most of my time is spent making sure she's okay and taking care of her. My life is much more in a better place than her.

The good things are she's very thankful, she's very loyal, she truly in her heart loves me like no other women I've met before. She's my only friend and we spend 24/7 together basically.

>>17222314

Holy fuck this is so close to me right down to the issues with parents.

How did you get into your relationship?

Basically I went on a date with her when everything was normal and I felt too bad to leave her. Then we hung out a few more times and she clung to me. I went along with it because I was lonely. Then I was too scared to leave or break up with her because I'm too nice and didn't want to hurt her feelings. Started feeling very trapped in the relationship and hated myself. Always felt drained from her problems. Slowly all those bad feelinfs dissipated.

Now it's been around 2 years and I've just come to accept taking care of her and I actually like it? I feel warm and fuzzy and We both love each other. When she's not in pain we're always laughing or joking.

But we can't go out much or do anything normal people my age do due to her anxiety and physical issues and it sucks because I'm too young to be cooped up in a house all day.

Thing is I have no other friends.

But I wonder if this is hindering my growth as a person. Maybe I'd get more shit done if my life didn't revolve around her.

I need to stop being a mayrter for others but I don't know how?

This all comes from insecurity and a lack of confidence

>She is very very needy and requires a lot of attention. I'm also very needy/insecure.

the only way to grow stronger and do yourselves both a favor is to end it

if you do care about her then dont do this for her. it only makes her more and more dependent.

>>17222314
>>17222314

Why haven't you left the relationship?

Ever wonder if you subconsciously enjoy being a martyer?

>>17222347

I can't. We've been together for too long. Our relationship is pretty serious.

Also I literally have no one else to spend time with. I have zero friends. She convinced me to stop talking to them. To be fair, they were dicks.

I realized my gf is codependent herself, she was her ex's pseudo mom and took care of him. However since I have no problems and never ask for her help she can't help me with anything.

>>17222367
>I can't.
yes you can


>Also I literally have no one else to spend time with.
so she is more of a convenience then than a true love


>
I realized my gf is codependent herself, she was her ex's pseudo mom and took care of him. However since I have no problems and never ask for her help she can't help me with anything.
one more reason to break up

honestly op, i dont know what kind of a different advice you can get

this is just so unhealthy for both of you

>>17222332
Well, that's a long story naturally. We've been together for about 6 years now.

The circumstances surrounding the start of our relationship initially was an absolute mess. I was in highschool, and there was actually another girl I really liked at the time. Up until that point, I was always alone. At best, I had friends that made fun of me and insulted me behind my back. Girls ignored me, guys always wanted to fight me. Naturally, when an opportunity like that rises for such an individual, you're inclined to take it... Even if she is your best friends ex-girlfriend, I suppose. Yeah. So I fell out with two of the closest people I've ever had in my life, and in return, I had acquired a relationship. I'm not going to say things were smooth for the first 2 years, but we had fun I suppose. I grew to actually love her. Then one day, she got in a car accident on the way to my house. She didn't tell me that she was coming, so naturally I was quite surprised to find her at my doorstep crying, and her mother's car in pieces on the street.

Well, with a year of physiotherapy, and medications.... She changed.... a lot. She is almost entirely like a different person now. I'm not just speaking in terms of personality, but she's even lost some of her memories. I haven't really told her about that though, I think it'd scare her too much. Anyways, she recovers to a certain extent, but usually end up re-injuring herself intermittently.

A part of me knows that I can help her, and a part of me knows that if I don't, nobody else will. I don't want to leave her lying in a bed all alone thinking that it's her fault... It's not. I simply have different beliefs. Her parents are really dismissive. Her mother usually doesn't pay any attention to her at all, and is completely neurotic to the core due to her own issues.

All in all, it's a complicated situation. It isn't as thought I don't love her, but I don't want to do this for the rest of my life.

I can relate too much to this. I was with this girl for 2 1/2 years, and she suffered from anxiety and panic attacks.
Emotional vampire is such a fitting term. She ended it three years ago, and I'm still dealing with it. She keeps drawing me in, even wrote me yesterday.

>>17222308
You aren't putting anyone's needs before yours. You get pleasure from helping someone like her. Stop trying to pass yourself off as a hero who is constantly being hurt by other people you are helping.

I used to be like you until I realized I was just actually being selfish. There's a reason you aren't in a homeless shelter saving disgusting mentally ill men and are instead watching over some helpless girl. You like the fact that she needs you and likes you so much. You are getting something out of the exchange. She meets your needs.

>>17223075

Your post is completely misinformed

Also i have no interest in helping someone I don't know or have any connection with

The people I see in my everyday life, or friends or others at school/work? Ya I'm overly nice with them.

You're an idiot. There's nothing selfish about putting your needs first. No one is obligated to help homeless people or anyone. And you should put your needs before others, if you don't you're an idiot.

Obviously I have issues with this.