I need help
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I originally posted this in /r9k/ but I think it belongs in here. Sorry I'm not thinking straight and I almost never create my own threads on 4Chan. Here we go.
>Live in a small, isolated town
>Moderately popular among 3000 or so FB friends, but no friends irl
>Meet a girl in my area on Tinder
>Monday, we go hiking together, it's not bad at all
>Thursday I text her "hey what's up?"
>She says "Hanging out with my friends, come over"
>Drive half an hour out into the nearest city to her apartment
>Entire time I sperg out, totally awkward, staring into space
>Totally anxious, can't really socialize
>Try to make her notice me
>Her, her female friend, and her friends dude friend are all constantly asking me questions I can barely speak so nervous
>Eventually I just zone out and get on my phone for an hour, try to forget I'm at the party
>They're about to go out to smoke, she asks me when I'm going home
>I tell her I was actually about to head out, I'm leaving
>"oh well later man"
>I drive home as fast as possible, throw myself onto my bed, and cry as hard as possible
>Next morning text her apologize for being so awkward and spazzing out
>No reply
>Notices she's been posting on Snapchat and Twitter
>She's ignoring me
>Try to regain confidence by going back on Tinder
>Next girl I match with takes like 12 hours to respond, when she does she laughs at me for being 5'8", then ignores me
I'm honestly really emotionally unstable right now. I've been alone all my life. The few real relationships I've had were with qt 8/10's but now I'm just lonely and pathetic and isolated. I am seriously considering killing myself. I question why I can't be like everyone else and be normal. I question what's wrong with me. I'm moving to one of the biggest cities in the country in a few months but I fear the same rejection once I get there. I don't know if I can take this isolation for even that much longer.
Please give me some kind of advice and help me or something.
What happened and what went wrong? Was it awkward with her? It seems like they were being nice
>>17221345
>I'm honestly really emotionally unstable right now. I've been alone all my life
protip: stop obsessing over random whores on tinder and their social media usage. get a life nigga
You went hiking with her and it went well so much so that she invited you over to hang out with her friends. You did something right. Do more of that and working on doing less of the other thing you were doing with her friends.
>>17221345
i can relate buddy. Woman are batshit crazy and cut off contact over the littlest shit. She was in the wrong for inviting you into that awkward situation. What you should do is still go out and try to meet women, but instead of trying to find love/approval, just look for a fuck that hopefully turns into a frequent fuck. Go in with low expectations, dont try too hard, be yourself, and don't come across as needy.
eh just jack off to porn and take anti depressants. Its what I do. Life is pretty ok.
>>17221355
I mean she seemed like she liked me when I first showed up. I don't really know what she was thinking. I'm not very good at reading people's thoughts at all. I'm guessing my weird unsociable behavior and awkwardness must've made her start to dislike me.
>>17221358
I live in a ghost town. There is no way to get a life. I have tried over and over, man. And I'm not saying I'm upset 100% just over this one incident, it's just the tipping point on an issue I've been trying to cover up for too long.
>>17221363
I guess. I sorta went out of my way to hang out with her on Monday. I don't think I'm going to get a second chance with this particular person. She hasn't responded to me in a few days.
>>17221367
Thanks, man.
>>17221368
LMAO That actually made me laugh a bit. Also thanks.
>>17221367
>She was in the wrong for inviting you into that awkward situation.
What? No she wasn't. First, people don't expect other people to be spergs that can't manage some basic conversation with others. Second, OP could have said no if he knows he's terrible in group situations.
>>17221406
>I'm guessing my weird unsociable behavior and awkwardness must've made her start to dislike me.
That's a good bet. You seemed normal but you obviously are not. Normal people generally want to be with other mentally healthy, normal people.
Look, don't fear rejection. Rejection (of you or by you) is just weeding out people that you don't want to be around. Since you're apparently kind of fucking weird, you're going to need to find someone who will appreciate whatever it is that you do have to offer.
And don't worry about that height bullshit. Yes, not being a tall guy will reduce the number of people who are interested in you, but look at what you're doing to find people: you're using an app where matching is done based solely on physical attractiveness. Don't like being judged that way then maybe you shouldn't be judging others in the same way.
>>17221488
Op here again, I'd like to think I have a sorta inconsistent relationship with groups. I preform on stage and I'm fairly good at bigger groups where I can fade out and just talk to one person I know well at a time. I'm assuming it was trying to impress all three of them at the same time at caused me to tense up.
I actually think you have a point about meeting people on Tinder for serious connections though. Maybe I'm looking for things in the wrong places.
>>17221521
The problem that a lot of people have when meeting other is feeling that there's some need to impress them. There's not. You're going to meet people and to have a good time. That's literally it. You don't have to impress people.
More often than not, they're either not really going to care about you one way or the other, or they're interested in getting to know the new guy their friend is bringing around and wanting to make sure that you're not some asshole who's going to treat her like shit.
Sometimes you'll meet someone's friends and those friends turn out to be dicks. That's not on you, and it's not something you should worry about. In fact, that's a pretty good indicator that the person you're seeing isn't really that great of a person because shitty people tend to associate with shitty people.
