Dude here

How to make sex exciting when she doesnt wanna give or even receive oral

>>17220260
Do things other than oral? If oral is the epitome of exciting for you, then you're pretty vanilla

Chicks who enjoy drugs:

Would you date a sober guy?
Not a controlling dude, more like someone who doesn't mind that you do and your friends do it, but he doesn't want to partake in it either.

Girls: femanon here: aside from masturbation I can no longer cum unless there at least two others present. I masturbate at least once a week and I used to be able to cum with one person in about one hour. When there's two people I can cum three time in half an hour. How can I fix this?

>>17220301

Have you thought of cumming while listening to an asmr vid? Perhaps you can envision someone there without an actual presence and wane off of having people present.

>>17220317
asmr?

>>17220281
not me, HER
how do i make it more exciting for HER

>>17220284
I used to be a heroin and opiate addict, and back then, I wouldn't have dated a sober guy. I reckon most addicts are like that, male or female.

It also depends on what types of drugs they do, in my opinion. If they just smoke weed or pop xans, they probably wouldn't mind dating you. But if they're into harder drugs, they probably won't. (Then again, I knew a meth addict who dated a completely sober guy so...)

It depends on the person, I guess.

>>17220301
Huh. I don't have any experience here, but I'd say maybe lay off masturabting altogether for a while. Then take your time and just explore your body, don't focus on the orgasm or how you look.

>>17220260
Mojoupgrade.com

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Girls, could you tell me why he's so attractive?

>>>17218891
>I'm aromantic asexual.
If you're still around, how exactly did you come to that conclusion?

>>17220367
I personally don't find him attractive and I'm sure many other don't, but he's considered objectively attractive because of the following: strong jawline, visible adam's apple, plump lips, white teeth, light freckles, groomed but thick eyebrows, nicely shaped non-crooked nose, not too much space between lips and nose, strong cheekbones, long eyelashes, bright eyes, and nice amount of stubble.

Are sideburns/mutton chops a good idea?

>>17220284
Sure.
But I enjoy drugs in a "a bit of coke every two weeks when I'm going out" way, not the "chasing the dragon" way, it's not something important enough to me to have any sway on my relationships.

>>17220389
Unless you're the reincarnation of John Belushi, no.

>>17220325

Just type in asmr on youtube anon. Wear headphones and see if pretending someone is ther will help you cum .

>>17220417
/r/gonewildaudio is more sexual and might work better for that purpose.

Men, are you ever disappointed by the lack of clothing options for men? Do you even think you have limited choice in clothing?

>>17220423
Oh, yeah! Actually that would be perfect for anon.

>>17220432
Hijacking this question, are you ever disappointed by the lack of sex toy options? It baffles me that with how sexual guys are, there are not really a lot of sex toys for men, are there? Plastic dolls and plastic vaginas.

>>17220242
Ladies:

This will prolly fall under the "something insignificant category" but I digress.

Short story:
>match with a girl on tinder
>have a few mutual friends, I'd say we're in the same league
>both really busy but agree to get coffee
>7-10 days later we get coffee, overall it went pretty good. Didn't sperg too much
>Make plans for next week
>Text her a few times, she stops responding
>Wait a few days text "Hey, hope you have a good weekend"
>Still no response

Dafuq? Normally if a chick is gonna ignore you they'll tell you they're too busy to hang out again, or at least text something back like "Okay, thanks :)"

I can't think of any way I fucked up the date, is it possible she just doesn't want to text? I'm not so much butthurt as I am curious.

>>17220465
Maybe she's not into texting so much, or just busy?

>>17220465
Gonna have to disagree with >>17220483, it's not onerous to text back to something like that.

>>17220432
No, but that might be because my favorite outfit is sneakers, jeans, and a solid t-shirt.
>>17220439
I'm a little disappointed I don't own a pocket pussy, but the limited variety is fine for me. My hand does just fine, and I think the wide variety of porn makes up for the lack of variety in sex toys.

>>17220491
>No, but that might be because my favorite outfit is sneakers, jeans, and a solid t-shirt.
Yeah, but even with this outfit, your colour choices are generally limited to black, white, grey, navy, burgundy and sometimes khaki. Doesn't that get boring?

>>17220491
I know taste is subjective but I feel like most porn is pretty bad.
And yeah I suppose guys are mostly happy with their hands, so no improvement needed?

>>17220501
I just got a new light blue and green t-shirt, but it doesn't get boring. I'd wear the same outfit every day if that was socially appropriate.

>>17220432
>are you ever disappointed by the lack of clothing options for men?
Yes, very much. At least for anyone who wants to look normal.
Oftentimes we're basically just all wearing the same goddamn outfit in slightly different colors. Or even the exact same colors, like at a formal event.

I've actually just started fixing the anxiety i'd developed over the past few years (long story) and now that i'm back to my eccentric fuck-everyone self and don't mind standing out for miles, i'm rebuilding my wardrobe. The choices open up a lot when everybody already knows you're a lunatic and doesn't expect you to dress normally.
Just crossed "shoes" off the list today, actually.

Last monday i realized i had a combo too good to pass up (tan rumpled shirt, olive green trousers, tan mil-looking boots, the works). Figured i had the excuse that i don't have any friends to ask "hey, does this outfit look too 'hitler youth'"?
Fun as hell getting stares, giggles, comments like "nazis don't like baklava", etc

You ever encountered a guy with phimosis? Whatcha do? Did it bother you, did he say anything, did you say anything, was anything sexual put off the table because of this?

any sex can probably answer this

>>17220516
>most porn is pretty bad.
Kek, maybe the porn you watch
Ever been to /d/? Or even /gif/?
Chicks just aren't creative enough
most of you seem to check out "teens go wild XXX: episode 857", act surprised that it's total garbage, and give up on erotica in general

>>17220554
I'm not into dickgirls, mostly amateur stuff, mostly girls solo, I also like light BDSM stuff.
So yeah I am pretty vanilla porn wise and not much into it I suppose - more into fantasizing or erotica.

>>17220488
>>17220483

Yeah, I'm more or less getting mixed signals. She told me shes out of state for the weekend, so that may be it.

But I texted her after the date and asked if she's someone who likes texting. She said yes so I wrote her goodmorning the next day and we sent 3-4 texts each.

My question is, if she wasn't feelin me:
Why schedule another date?
Why tell me she likes texting?
Why text me at all the day after our date?

But it also seems, unless she doesn't wanna appear desperate, that she would probably text me if she were into me. So idk, guess I'll wait until next week to see if our date is still on.

Why can't women just be straight forward

>>17220575
Maybe she's also just shy and afraid, I don't know honestly.

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>>17220575
>Why can't women just be straight forward
This

I'm ugly. Not too ugly, not ugly, but you'd not tell me I'm good looking.
So, what do I do instead od killing myself? I've realised I'm the ugliest among my friends, and those who have a gf are prettier than me. Am I fucked?

>>17220629
Honestly, get over it. Yeah, being ugly doesn't feel good and puts you at a disadvantage, but unless you want to pay for plastic surgery, you just have to get over it. There are worse things to be than ugly and killing yourself over it is a major overreaction.

>>17220649
So, how do I get over it?
My self consciousness is making me mad.

>>17220629
>>17220662
Unless you're hideous, opinions will vary. For example, i know a girl who i think is quite pretty (as in, 8/10 or even maybe 9/10), better-looking than all her friends, but some people disagree (eg referring to her as "that girl over there, no not the pretty one, the other one").

Then there's me (male): i would rate myself 2 or 3/10 but again i've heard other opinions, and i sometimes notice people attempting to flirt or checking me out.

So some people undoubtedly have a higher opinion of you than others.

>>17220706
Well I didn't have any flirting for almost my life, except my ex gf who was her that made the first move.
But I've gotten worse since the breakup and I feel unlovable. Sometimes I wish I could live happily without sexual and romantic urges, but it's not possible.

>>17220723
>I didn't have any flirting for almost my life, except my ex gf
that's better than me, never seen any major interest from a girl at all (at least that i've noticed).

If a girl was willing to make the first move to get with you, it can't be that bad. Relax.

how can I (male btw) stop being so oblivious?
A few friends – both female and male – usually say X was flirting with you. Or X is interested.
But I always treat everyone the same and take things at face value. I can only recognise negative non-verbal responses, and even then a lot is after-the-fact.

>>17220738
She was pretty crazy. And every other girl showed interest until they met me.

>>17220317
No joke, that is genius

I want to come to the acceptance that all the dumb lovely shit I've done in my past relationship, I did because I wanted to and I didn't expect anything from her.
I thought it wouldn't go far, but the whole time, I couldn't care less of the possible final outcome.
I've been told not to think about it this way (Guy friends and TRP/junk), but honestly it's one of the only things I'm capable of accepting about it. At first I was hesitant to admit that I was lost in my feelings because I thought I would look weak. Is it frowned upon for a man to be outgoing with his feelings?
I know understand that the only reason I was upset about my past relationship stopping, was that she told me to stop, and not that she didn't make it a too way street.
I have to deal with this woman daily, and if I at least have this mindset, I feel like I can smile again at her, because I want to. What's the best way that a guy can move on, from a woman's view?

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Alright I'm asking here because I just assume women have more on hand knowledge of this stuff.

What the fuck do I do with this hair? It feels like steel wool. Not sure how to style it or care for it at all.

>>17220755
>showed interest until they met me
How is that possible? Online dating?

>>17220629
I have a pretty ugly friend, chubby balding while 22, and he pulls mad pussy.

>>17220784
Yes.
>>17220811
In your opinion, what is his secret?

>>17220432
No i'm fucking glad we don't have to go through the shit women let themselves go through

>>17220824
>Whats his secret
He doesnt give a shit, not in the sense that he's a nihilist. He just does his own thing, can make fun of himselve is friendly, and by doing so comes over as being confident.

>>17220761

It's the only solution I could think of. Also asmr vids are fun sometimes.

>>17220829
Sounds like he makes a lot of friends.

>>17220847
Nah, he doesnt collect friends like he's doing a facebook friends competition.
Ironically ever since i have a girlfriend i dont give a shit either about what people, particularily girls, think about me, so while i had mad anxiety around girls thats all gone now and i pull mad unwanted puni

Girls; Do you read into a guys name at all? I'm a guy and my first name is Melody, yay/nay? obvious faggot? What do you think of me after only hearing my name?

>>17220949
i think your parents are hippies and you might be weird but i'd still give you a shot after confirming that's just your given name

>>17220951
They actually aren't. Both very normal and mom believes this is a unisex name. Quoting myself as an example..

What do you mean by "just my given name"?

To girls: are cute guys sexy? To what extent?

A girl followed me on multiple social media outlets over like a day period. Should I take that as she is interested/wants to talk to me?

She wants to fuck other guys because she "wants to fill the emptiness" "...it helps, a little". Girls. Anyone. Please, say something about this. I can give more details about the situation if need be.

>>17220949
It's a name, I don't judge people by their signs or their head shape either

>>17220999
She's an unfaithful whore, respect yourself and leave.

I want a monogamous relationship from the start. Don't tell me it's not fucking progressive

penis. discuss

>>17221025
I like mine, but I don't care to see other people's.

I Love his mind
My Love for his cock follows

ladies, perhaps you can answer this for me

I have no problem with getting a womans phone number, but it seems everytime i try to set up a date or try to arrange a second date it goes to shit and i never hear from the chick again. What could i possibly be doing wrong? Throw some theories at me.ladies, perhaps you can answer this for me.

I have no problem with getting a womans phone number, but whe

>>17221020
Implying "progressive" is a word with positive meaning these days
Good for you wanting a monogamous relationship

>>17221048
whoops copy paste error

Girls, situation:

You meet up with hot guy a few times and he checks every box.

You decide to have sex with him and find out that he has really weird fetishes (not like super violent or dangerous, just things you aren't at all interested in).

Do you pursue the relationship?

>>17221101

What's the fetish, honestly.

>>17221150
female domination

>>17221156

Oh! He's a sub then. Doesn't seem too bad. You're not currently in a relationshio right?

>>17221158
Nope not currently. Haven't really been honest in past relationships about that aspect of me though. Glad to hear it's not too much of a turnoff.

>>17221166

You're going to have to be dom also. Most women like being submissive.

>>17221185
I've got that part figured out :). Just gets old after a while.

>>17221194
>getting to be a dom to a boy who's into it
>gets old after a while
Man, I wish I had your kind of "problems"

Girls: Would you judge a guy that was previously in a relationship with a very controlling partner? If you were interested in him and found this out, would that affect how you feel about him and/or his taste in girls?

>>17221231
No, I'm
>>17221101
and I'm saying being the dom male gets old.

>>17221242
I wouldn't be inquiring heavily into his past relationships in the first place

>girlfriend dumped me in February because we were growing distant and she was graduating her bachelor's and under extreme stress
>tried to maintain a quasi-friendship while I tried to get her back which pushed her away
>three weeks ago realize it's fruitless and have been giving our friendship space
>she works out whatever was going on with her life for stress and graduated
>two days ago texts me out of the blue "hope you're having fun with your new gf"
>her snap stories for the last three days have all had clothes on that I've given her, including one of my jackets
>last night at 1am we have a sober discussion about how we regret the way things ended and how we made each other extremely happy for 11 out of the 12 months we were together
>last thing we said to each other was "maybe that doesn't have to be our ending"

I'm losing my fucking mind. I was doing so well at getting over her.
Someone slap me in the face

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>>17221248
Women... don't ask? That's so relieving. I always thought there would be a million and one questions about my past. Hell yeah. I feel more comfortable now

I'd like to join the Navy, but I've got some concerns.

Being deployed on a ship for ~6 months a year seems like it would make getting into a relationship difficult.

Would you ladies be willing to stay in a relationship where your guy is gone for half the year?

>>17220999
Anyone else?

>>17221328
My dad did.
He was Air Force, actually, but he was posted to a ship for a while. Purple, you know.

It hurt my mom.
When he came back, I, reportedly, as a toddler, cried as he held me. He cried too seeing that.

Ship life hurts your family. You think they can handle it. Maybe you can. But they can't.

Expect her to be Jody.
Expect her to fail you.
Expect to be lonely.

Military life is hard for everyone.

Girls thoughts on straight feminine guys ?

>>17221429
feminine how so?

>>17220999
>>17221410
This Anon has the right of it: >>17221007
To elaborate, it sounds like she craves some form of praise or the feeling of being desired. If she is getting less and less of that sense of affirmation with you, chances are pretty good that she is literally addicted to having sex and feeling desirable, and needs people who don't care about her to be unbiased in their evaluation.
That's messed up.

>>17220242
What is the opposite gender if there are more than 2 genders?

>>17221435
The way they dress eg. Jeggings, no skirts. Not being overly domineering, quiet, no facial hair. Is ok with makeup and the like. Think introverted female who's a dude kinda thing.

>>17221462
She says she just doesn't have the time or energy to put into a relationship. Essentially, she said she got really hurt by her ex, who was her first everything. She said she feels like her heart turned to stone after and she feels this emptiness. I believe we had something special, but she said she realizes that another relationship didn't fill the emptiness. She says I'm perfect for what she wants but she just can't do this with me. She said she feels good being single, but it doesn't seem like she thinks doing this whole whore deal fills that emptiness. To me, she seems lost and frantically looking for something to make her feel better.

She says she wants to feel loved. She says she just wants that feeling of being loved by someone, even if it's fake. Even if it's not real, she just wants that feeling of being loved. Mind you, she's unable to reciprocate it. She's basically asking to receive and give nothing. Wants no commitment, no trouble, no effort, no nothing, just wants this feeling of being loved because it makes her feel good, in her words.

She won't listen to any rationale because she's too young, but one thing is for sure, she fucked up badly after she broke up with him. They were together for two years. She fucking lied to me when she started dating me saying it's been a year since they broke up when it had only been three months. I had asked her on multiple occasions too. She only told me now after we broke up and the dust settled when she really broke up with him. She didn't even realize she lied until I mentioned it. Of course she's not going to feel right after only that much time. Three months is too short.

I just want to hear what you guys have to say. What do you have to say about the idea of fucking guys as a solution?

>>17221502
i can't speak for every female, cuz i'm nowhere close to the typical female. but i do prefer my guys to be hairy with big forearms. but i do especially like when they have feminine lips and curvy butts. as far as the quiet and not domineering qualities go, i'd rather my guy to be more dominating, and yeah i'd rather that he had some facial hair. but i promise you, there are chicks out there that want the look you got

>Currently dating someone.
>Minor Insecurities
>Things are pretty awkward and not sure if we're expecting different things or not.

I can't read people, I'm utterly miserable at it. We were at the movie theater earlier things went well there, but when we went to leave we sat in the car and she kept her knees turned towards me the whole time. I have no idea what that means, how to react, what to say, or anything...

>>17221508
>>17221462
What happened with her ex in specific. She found out he wanted a sex change. She felt forced to break up with him against her will. She said she can't love a girl. He came back now recently after all his procedures before doing the sex change. He said he's decided not to do it, saying he feels good as a man etc. He hasn't gotten over her. She wanted him to move on still, telling him she just wants to be single and fuck guys. He told her he doesn't care what she does, he just wants her in her life. They agreed to be in an "open relationship" but I know he won't receive much attention. I wonder what will happen. I'm a bit scared they'll get back together and she'll stop all this. If she stops all this, I would rather it be for me.

I know one thing: I don't want to be in a relationship with her. But I do want her in my life. I want to help her. I want to see her grow and change and get better. I want to see who she really is without these clusterfuck of problems.

Jesus Christ, after typing all that out, I see how fucked up this situation is. She has problems. I'm seriously worked on just living my life and not being attached to her, and I've gotten much better, but I want her around.

I'm surprised we had what we had despite her only being 3 months out of that relationship. I'm surprised she thinks of me the way I do. I don't know if I shouldn't think of it as anything special, and I don't know if I should believe her words about me.

I know when she's with me, she's very...weak, I guess. She's all over me. Not to say she isn't crazy around other guys, but I feel like she's different when she's with me. The things she says, what she talks about, what she does. I feel like she doesn't do this for any other guy. I feel like her true genuine intentions and feelings come out with me. Things she would normally keep from other guys.

>>17221525
How autistic are you?

Just feel her presence.
That should tell you everything you need to know

>>17221532
Actually autistic. Like Diagnosed, have papers and shit to prove it. I can't read people, not just out of inexperience I'm mostly incapable of it.

>>17221508
...how young are we talking here? And how old is her ex? I think you should research codependency, and see if the symptoms remind you of her.
As for fucking other guys, there are a few ways this can go:
1) She feels nothing for them, and you just continue to be in an imbalanced relationship, maybe with hints of jealousy on your side on top of feeling helpless before her emotional issues
2) At least one of the guys reminds her enough of her ex to make her feel like she's falling in love for real, and she slowly pulls away from you, until she inevitably breaks up with him and comes back to you, more damaged than ever
3) At least on of the guys is a scumbag who plays on her insecurities and trashes her mind and heart even more.
4) STD's and abortion. Just a matter of time.

All in all, promiscuous sex fixes nothing, and ends up introducing whole new problems.

Guy here
what's some really casual first messages to send to grils?

>>17221573
"Hey"

Can't get much more casual than that

>>17221527
Wow. Well, that is a messed up. If she is already in a relationship with you, and she is in an open relationship with the guy who made her this way, you are not going to have a romantic future with this girl.

I can understand wanting to help her, but you will have to do that from the position of a friend, which may not be possible for you. The thing is, your compassion is being mixed and muddied with romantic and sexual attraction. You may end up being an enabler, rather than a voice of reason. There are people who even get addicted to helping people like this, their personal boundaries crossed and erased because the person they are trying to help just manipulates and takes advantage of them.

>>17221603
This.

But the next message must be as distant.
You don't give a shit.

The relationship between a man and a woman in a dating phase must always be like you can just ditch her at any point.

Never act like you want her unless you fuck her a few times

>>17221527
When I read about this issue of women having casual sex it drives me NUTS. I know how this shit ends up. I've read, heard and seen it all happen. I know what's at the end of the line. It doesn't work. I want to tell her everything but I won't dare. It would ruin everything. I want her to learn this on her own but I want to contribute to it. Speed it up even. And I want her to see me, think of me and know I'm there when she's done with it.

I want her to fuck her ex and see how she feels after. Then I want to fuck her and see how she feels after. From there I might get some answers. She seems a bit "confused" sometimes when she's with me, looking at me strangely and saying "Why do I always feel this fire when I'm with you?"

>>17221553
Eighteen. Her ex as well.

Why don't you see her going back to her ex as one of the possibilities? Falling in love with him again etc.

I've learned about co-dependency. She doesn't seem to connect much at all. BUT, she seems to seriously need someone there to give her affection. She seems to long for love, and going about it in the wrong way.

>>17221605
Can't really say she's in a relationship with me...but we met for the first time in a long time since we broke up and when we saw someone I knew and they asked if she's my girlfriend, I said no, just a friend and that really upset her.

>I can understand wanting to help her, but you will have to do that from the position of a friend,
That's what I'm trying to do. But as a sexual friend...who shares feelings and gives her love and attention, I guess. At this point, I see myself, and I'm trying to be, just a guy in her life that's special/important to her. Someone who can actually help her, be real with her and stuff. Not just someone who gives her mindless, temporary, shallow pleasure. I think I will mix our time spent together partly with fun and partly with trying to get her closer to figuring out her problems, but in a very indirect, implicit way.

Been casually dating this guy for the past half year or so. Not much, meeting maybe once a month and a moderate amount of texting. We haven't done anything past making out and some light patting.
At first we would just go out for drinks but lately he's been asking me to do things during the day too. Sometimes he's pretty sweet but then out of nowhere hell get really suggestive. We recently had a talk to figure out where things stand between us and I told him that I wasn't planning on having things get any more serious than they already are. Even though I said this and honestly mean it, he kept pushing me to say if I was looking for something more between us.
He also suggested going on an over night trip together and I straight up told him I don't know him like that to be spending the night places with him. Was I right to assume that overnight trip=sex? How likely is it that he's trying to get a relationship out of us or is he just looking for sex in the end? I don't want to lead him on and I've told him a few times already not to expect anything serious but he still acts like this.

>>17221603
This works if you know the girl, but not on dating sites. Never send "Hey" on dating sites.

>>17221645
He didn't ask for good first messages, just really casual ones

>>17221652
okay I want good first messages to send

>>17221605
>The thing is, your compassion is being mixed and muddied with romantic and sexual attraction.
Absolutely. I don't thing it's mixed. I know these feelings are there. I'm trying to put them to the side until she's better though.

>You may end up being an enabler, rather than a voice of reason
As in causing her to do worse rather than helping? You're right, and I acknowledged that. I'm worried about that, that's why I'm trying to do this from a very passive standpoint. Like she's doing all the work, but I'm just helping her without her knowing. A very indirect, implicit way of influencing and helping her.

>There are people who even get addicted to helping people like this, their personal boundaries crossed and erased because the person they are trying to help just manipulates and takes advantage of them.
Again, correct. I'm not addicted, but helping her with this would give me a feeling of fulfillment. It's already crossed all boundaries and I made this exception for her because I know if I don't, she'll walk away without looking back. But I refuse to do it with anyone else. No one is deserving of this from me. I don't even know if this will be worth it, but I see something in her. I feel like this has the possibility to go somewhere or be worth it. She's got a good heart. She's not a malicious person. I've had paranoid thoughts about that from her before, but come to learn they aren't true. She has problems, and they cause her to do bad things sometimes, but it's not evil intent or manipulation. I'm scared of her starting to do that though. I'm scared she'll start becoming that person. That's why I find it hard to believe when she says certain things to me. She's already shown a lot of dishonesty. I feel like if this works, it would give me great satisfaction and fulfillment in that I committed to something I loved and followed through.

>>17221658
For a girl you know, or a dating site message?

I girl I've been sleeping with saw me leaving my school's mental health office, looking a little.bit upset. I tried to.just sorta play it off since I could tell she wasn't really too keen on talking about it. She hasn't messaged me in the past couple days and when I message her she ends the conversation really quick. We're done right?

>>17221626
Overnight almost definitely means sex.
As for what he is for in your relationship, that's harder to tell. I would expect someone who is into it for the sex to give up sooner, but it's not impossible.
Likewise, he might be feeling like the necessary threshold of intimacy has been passed, especially depending on the forms of physical affection you two are sharing.
If the physical affection side of your relationship started early and persisted, it would be worthwhile to cool it on that front, maybe even regardless of the progression of affection.

>>17221672
>>17221605

Wanted to add: I'm trying to just be a guy in her life right now. Someone who's special and important to her though who can be there for her. Someone valuable. Someone she can be real with, honest with and express herself fully with. I don't want to just spend time with her, giving her mindless, shallow, temporary happiness. I could go on just hanging out with her and having cute fun and shit, but that won't do anything. I want our time spent together to be mixed with fun but progression in her state. Slowly coming closer to a fix or solution to her problem each time we hang out.

>>17221682
A girl who I heard was into me at some point

>>17221672
Manipulation doesn't have to have evil intent. In fact, a lot of addicts do not have evil intent on the ones they manipulate, it's just something they do to get what they need to feed their addiction.

All in all, it sounds like a mess, but if you are single, and both her and her boyfriend has told you it's an open relationship, then you may as well do what you think is right. Just, be careful Anon.

Hey gents, is there something wrong with a weight dropping, strong, athletic, independent-but-introverted, girl?

I'm 28, 5'4, currently stockyish build, I'd consider my face to be pleasant enough to look at, I guess. I work in a warehouse where I move heavy things all day, including 50-100lb countertops. I'm dressed for the job, so not going to impress anyone, that I know of. I've been here almost a year.

I feel like I'm not worth the time of day to any single guy around me...any suggestions? Anything that's an automatic turnoff for guys?

Work is really the only social interaction I get. I don't like the club or bar hookup idea.

>>17221729
When you say stockyish build, is it mostly muscle or mostly fat?

>>17221729
try tinder to start with, put on there that you aren't looking for hookups and if someone seems like they are trying to get one, make your intentions clear. 5'4" is one of the most adorable heights to me.
When you go out to do things
>Wear decent/nice clothes.
It doesn't need to be extremely showy, or revealing, just enough to show off your figure/shape.
Mostly just genuinely be nice, don't try to push things too fast, maintain a good balance between stalker-ish, and ghost, and make sure that your health comes first. Automatic turn off for me: Fake Tans, Spray tans, fake tattoos, and super bleached hair.

>>17221745
When I started working was 240lbs, 30% fat. Now I'm about 190-195lbs, haven't checked fat ratio. I went from a size 18 pants to my current size 14, getting close to 12. Most of my fat is around my stomach. My arms and calf's are more toned than anything.

>>17221752
Haha, thanks for the advice. My tan is all natural, I do love my garden!

Guy here:

What are your opinions on chivalry and why?

>>17221757
From what you're describing I don't see anything wrong with your appearance. You're just not getting a lot of attention at work because you're probably sweaty and out of breath from the lifting, and possibly dirty.

It sounds to me like you could get a lot of success from online dating, since you don't seem to get much social interaction.

>girl and me have been talking on Facebook for a few weeks now
>she asks me to meet up for a coffee
>I tell her that sounds good, when?
>she says she's free any time after 2 weeks from now
Now, I get that she's busy and shit. But isn't this really bad? 2 weeks is a long time for a girl to change her mind about me and have second thoughts.

What do?

>>17221729
I knew a girl once.
She was a gymnist.
Did Cirque du Soliel shit.
She was built.
Her body was attractive but her face was weak.

What I'm saying is that if your body is good, then your face is the limiting factor.

If your face is good, as you say, then so long as you're fit, you're desirable.

Muscles in women are weak. Your best muscularity is my weakest.
I'd love a woman who goes to the gym and tries hard.

You just need to look good and socialize.

In a dress or other flirt clothes, you won't look built. You'll look sexy. Muscles look clothes look good, regardless of sex.

>>17221770
Thank you, that is encouraging. Yes, I'm planning to loose a lot more weight.

>>17221768
Sweaty, haha, yes very. Lots of warehouse dirt, too...

I'm rather hesitant for online, but loneliness sucks! Maybe I'll give it a go.

>>17221729
Depending on your schedule and whatnot, you might try a gym as a social place. The people there should already be used to fit bodies, even muscular ones.

As for automatic turnoffs... that's pretty much always on an individual by individual basis. Some people might not be comfortable with a woman who is stronger than them, but other guys are open to it, some are even thrilled at the idea.
It might help to grow your hair out, to emphasize your femininity. In a similar vein, maybe you can get a stylist to teach you a different way of applying make up that would fit well with what you usually wear. I admit, as a guy I don't know nearly as much about can be done with make up, so take that with a grain of salt.

This probably falls under the random insecurity part but I don't care. I need some female input on this. Is using proper punctuation and grammar a turnoff through text/IMs? Sometimes I feel like I come off as too serious because most of the the time the girl uses a lot of shorthand and doesn't punctuate. Am I overthinking this?

>>17221782
Gym? Good point. Yea...I am probably more clueless about makeup than you...my mom wasn't into it, so I never got into it. My best friend is though, maybe I give her a call! Haha. Yea, my hair is in a ponytail at work, but when down it's just below my shoulders. It's hard looking feminine in work boots and clothes, haha.

>>17221694
I figured if he was just in it for sex he wouldve lost interest as well. Sometimes he just heavily implies it and when I confront it he has some kind of reasoning. Like when I said I don't know him well enough to sleep somewhere overnight with him, he said something like 'hey I don't bite ;).... But if we go somewhere together i want you overnight because then we can do more things during our visit' Even when I asked him if he was expecting anything more than what we were doing he pretty much just said that he liked what we were doing mad just wants to see more of each other. So I'm just ?????

We didn't do anything physical for the first two months or so and then things progressed pretty quickly for the next three months or so but the last month we've been doing less physical things and meeting more during the day. Like we spent all of Monday together and only kissed each other a few times and just talked and walked around the whole day. He asked me out Wednesday and Thursday and tomorrow morning all of which i turned down so I'm just confused. He seems to want to take the relation to the next level(maybe??), which I do not want at all. But he also hints at becoming more physical which I wouldn't mind too much but then he says and does things that contradict each other.
I feel like I'm being toyed with?? Idk what to expect with his invasive answers and I don't know what to trust

>>17221712
Can anyone answer this?

>>17221788
Personally, it's a huge turn on. I cringe talking to anyone too lazy to write properly.

>>17221788
Male here but in my experience even if a girl's punctuation is awful, it's best for the guy to use it properly.

>>17221788
You can ditch the punctuation if you want to seem less serious but I would say you want to keep proper grammar. If I talk to guy that talkin like this I would think he's kind of dumb haha

>>17221769
Decide now on a specific date/time after those 2 weeks and tell her. If she agrees, wait and hold her to it. If she bails, ditch her and move on to someone who will cherish your company. Don't settle for less than you'd give.

>>17221792
It sounds like he does want to take the relationship to the next level, but he also wants to respect your wishes. The result may be that his flirting occasionally gets suggestive, and either consciously or subconsciously, he wants to set up an atmosphere that would be conducive to sex.
Perhaps rather than calling him on trying to go too fast, say you are uncomfortable with those sorts of situations, explaining if prompted that they feel too intimate for where you are in the relationship.
It may help to talk about more personal things, exchanging confidences and so on.
Ultimately, you will have to take your time and decide what he is to you before you try to guess what you are to him.

I've got a date lined up tomorrow and I really don't want to fuck it up. Met her on OKC and have been texting her now for a week or so. She's Indian, teaches college biology, and is really cute. I'm a white guy with an associates in accounting and I've worked my way up to a good place in my company

She's very well educated and I'm worried about being boring to her. She's got a master's. She viewed me first and liked my profile so I guess she was drawn to something.

>>17221788
This will sound stupid, but when a girl texts poorly she's trying to be cute and when a guy does it he's just stupid

>>17221721
I mean, I see that she doesn't think like that. You're making me doubt, from what I see, she doesn't do things like that. Yes, sometimes she will try to illicit a reaction out of me, but I would've say she's full on manipulative. At least, so far it's nothing I can sense.

But yes, thank you. I've definitely taken what you've had to say. I will be careful. I don't want to get hurt anymore. I don't like the pain I felt. I want to be able to live my life without focusing on her. I don't want my state with her to affect how I feel and what I'm doing during the day like it as been.

Quite honestly, if anyone is codependent, it would be me. I NEED her in my life. That's why I'm trying so hard to separate myself from her. Separate my life from hers.

>>17220783

Consult a hairdresser?

>>17221829
Alright thanks, anon, will do.

>>17220432
No.

>>17220439
No.

I want to ask a guy out. I like him, obviously, but he probably only likes me as a friend. Still, if that's the case, I'd rather know for sure and rather sooner than later, so I can move on.
My issue is that we play D&D together and I want to make it as non-awkward as possible afterwards.
Would you feel super weird about hanging out with someone you've rejected, under all circumstances, or is there anything I could do to lessen the awkwardness? Would it be better to pretend nothing had happened at all the next time we met, or maybe not go to the sessions at all for a while (it's not that big a deal to me, I wouldn't need the time away for myself)?
He probably doesn't get asked out a lot, so he's probably less experienced with rejecting than most.

>>17221948
My advice would be, BEFORE asking him out, to mention to everyone that you'll be needing some time to yourself for a while. Then you can ask him out. Then you can take a break from the group for a while without it seeming suspicious. Then when you come back a while later he'll likely be over the awkwardness and you can pretend you like some other guy.

Of course this is assuming he rejects you. Prepare for the worst etc. etc.

Ladies:

I recently tried Tinder just for the heck of it but not i am texting with this girl a bit and i want to ask her out.

1) should i do it through text or should i ask her if i could call her (when i want to ask her out?)

2) how should i approach the time frame? Her exams are finished 20th of June and probably i will finish my thesis in that time, too. When would be a good time to ask her out? Or should i just keep texting a bit more and then when the time is right, ask her out?

Girls:

How would you feel if a guy told you on a third date that he is very fearful of intimacy/being vulnerable and to let him know if he being too distant?

I have decided to be more open and honest but I don't want to seem like a fucking weirdo. I just know that I have lost out in the past because I was too distant and the girl thought I wasn't interested in her. I just want this one to know that I am interested even if I seem like I'm pulling away. I am trying to control it myself but it is like a phobia of being too close to people and I feel like I need a partner to know this about me.

>>17221764
What is your definition of "chivalry" exactly?

>>17220432
No but I'm pretty dad-core style wise.

I always like to keep a set of socks with sandals and a Hawaiian shirt in reserve.

>>17221729
I worked a similar job once upon a time, and while I already have issues with dating people from work all interest died off once exhaustion was thrown into the mix. I'd really try to focus on some different ways to meet people.

How do I get over my LDR's sexual past?

I've been in a LDR with a girl for 2 months, met her online, and she's coming for a few weeks in 2 months, and she'll move to study to a nearby city (not for me, it was her plans beforehand).

I've only had sex once (21), but she's 18 and has been really active (more than 15 partners) from what she's told me. Can't get out of my head the images of other guys fucking her. We've talked a lot about it, and I trust her, but I'm scared of not performing well when we're finally together, and not be up to par to the guys she's been with, although she tells me that our videocalls feel much better than some of the casual sex she's had.

>>17222002
1st off
>LDR=Odds highly stacked against you.

2nd.
Its a big deal if you make it a big deal.
If you focus on it, it becomes the focus of it.
Do you best to not think about it.

Who knows maybe you're way better then the other guys.

>>17222002
Why do you idiots keep asking about sexual past when you can't handle the answer?

>>17222008
>LDR=Odds highly stacked against you.
I know. I wouldn't give it a second thought, but she's coming to visit me and she's willing to spend a lot of money to do it. So even if it doesn't work out in the far future, we will spend a few fun weeks together.

>>17222012
I've learned from this and won't ask in the future, too much of a burden.

>>17222002

If you're in a relationship, you're going to have more than 1 chance to perform. Probably way more than 15, in time.

>>17222002
I was in a similar situation with a 19 year old when I was 21. She had 12 past partners and I had one.
I backed out of the relationship because I had a bad feeling in my gut that was telling me something had to be wrong with her emotionally or psychologically to have had that many partners by 19. I ended up being right and saved myself a lot of heartache by ending it sooner rather than later.

I wouldn't worry about performance because it sounds like she is not concerned with it at all. But I would worry about why she has had that many partners. It's either low self-esteem and sex is how she gets her self worth, or daddy issues where she is looking for a man to be there for her, or she could be a complete nympho who just loves sex. But seriously, be cautious and don't invest too much of your heart into it before you get a good feel for her.

>>17222002
>more than 15 partners
drop that skank man.

I don't even know how to meet people any more, and even if I did meet some I'd just be a burden on them.

If someone were to be interested in a shallow boring person like me, they are obviously confused or impaired and indulging their delusions as a perverse way to lessen my feelings of loneliness would make me worse than an animal.

So I have to live and die alone, no matter how much it hurts.

People on /jp/ used to joke about how "alone is only lonely if you want it to be." Ha. I wish that were true.

>>17222025
She's already been open to me about her feelings of why she did it. She regrets a lot of it, and it was because of low self-steem. I don't see how I should leave her for that, as she's been open to me about it and I did something similar (but in my case, obsession with webcam sex)

I don't really see how would that fuck our relationship. So far, the one that gets depressed is me, she's pretty confident.

>>17222027
Eh. If I could I'd have also fucked more than 15 girls so.

>>17221973
If I was with someone who said that, I would be glad. Better to mention it before either side starts assuming things. If she's in it for the long run, she should be fine, if not happy for you being honest. That kind of communication is awesome for keeping things moving. If she doesn't like it, then at least you know now before you've invested too many more emotions into her.

>>17222030
>She's already been open to me about her feelings of why she did it. She regrets a lot of it, and it was because of low self-esteem.

Well as long as she really is past it and you don't have a problem with it then it doesn't matter. But just be sure that she is past it and that you are okay with it.
You might say you're okay with it, and you might be right now, but later you might start to resent her for it. I obviously don't know you or her but I have seen people in relationships where at the beginning they are okay with their partners past and then it slowly eats away at them because they were lying to themselves about being okay with it

>>17222030

Even less for you to worry about then, I doubt they were very good experiences. And the fact that she's conscious of why it all happened bodes well for the relationship too.

How attractive / wealthy do I have to be so I can look at your ass / tiddies while you're wearing summer gear and not have you call campus security on me for raping you with my eyes? It's starting to get hot outside and I want to make sure I follow proper social protocol while you're tits are halfway out your sports bras.

>>17222053
>>>/pol/

>>17222054
Well that's insulting. This is a place for advice, and I happen to not like spending time in the pokey. But thank you for pre-emptively labeling me on notions you have no comprehension of, it really helps me with feeling included on this board.

>>17221965
Bumping.

>>17222032
I hope she feels that way

I am petrified of being that open with someone and know that it will fuck me for months if I get rejected. But I need to just get over it

>>17222066
I feel your pain. Though, I wouldn't say get over it, that's rather harsh to say to yourself. Just when you think you have, you think about it again, which causes a feeling of failure to "get over it". I would say get through it, ideal outcome or not. Try to consider every move as a positive, towards whatever end goal you have for your life. If she's meant to be in it, great. If not, her absence makes way for someone else. Every step taken is a step forward, even if it feels backwards at the time. Sometimes you have to move one leg back to better propel yourself forward.

>>17222054
>better shit the thread up further with my grudge against /pol/

>>17222100
>If she's meant to be in it, great. If not, her absence makes way for someone else.

That's my problem though. I know that that is true but my I still take rejection, or even things just not working out, way too personally, to the point that I've been alone for over a year just because I don't want to be vulnerable with another person. I guess the only fix is to take baby steps towards being open, intimate and vulnerable and to be honest with her and myself that it is an issue with me that I am working on

>>17222121
Being honest with your struggles is a very good idea. Yes, baby steps. Even a baby crawl. Or a baby worm-wiggle. Whatever shows her you're not giving up on yourself or your growing relationship.

>>17220949
>What do you think of me after only hearing my name?
Nothing in particular, except that you must have had a bit of a strange childhood with parents who thought it was ok to name a boy Melody.
Would guess you were conceived in San Francisco with the aid of psychedelics.

>>17220960
>What do you mean by "just my given name"?
ie that it's not a nick or some shit (Melody is a common stripper name).

Girls, in a dangerous situation would you like your boyfriend to beat an attacker to a pulp or to run? A guy was harassing us after we came out of a bar yesterday, we ignored him but he started to yell and be aggressive. He threw a punch and I wrestled him to the ground. When he put his hand in his pocket I freaked out and caved his face in and stomped on his hands.
My girlfriend is now "shocked" at what I did. I explained it to her but she's saying that I overreacted and that I overdid it because he was Muslim. Basically calling me a racist when I did my best to protect myself and her.
I'm not sure what to think about that.

So my friend who lives in another country tells me how this girl she knows relocated to another country after going ti there for exchange for a year during secondary school. Did she probably move because of a long distance relationship? My friend said she really likes that country but it seems unlikely to me
>inb4 stop being noisey

>>17222674
I hate violence with a passion and I'm highly suspicious of guys who feel the need to prove themselves to be manly by getting in fights and whatnot, but that being said if someone attacked me/us, I'd be very glad to have someone to protect me. Sure, violence is the ultima ratio but if it doesn't go any other way, I'd rather be the one standing in the end.

>>17222711
And in the situation I described? I know it's hard to say what you'd do/feel in a situation that you didn't experience, but I feel like I was 100% in the right here and risked my health to protect my girlfriend and all she has to say is that I "overreacted" and that I'm somehow racist.

>>17222725
I think the racism bit is bullshit first of all, if someone attacks me I'd try to stop him/her from hurting me regardless of creed or colour.
Obviously it's difficult to say but if I was in her place I'd probably be grateful that you were there to protect me and yourself.
But y'know maybe she's just kinda shocked at the violence in general, it's not something that happens every day, I guess she'll calm down eventually?

>>17222674

I'd be more worried about you putting yourself in a dangerous situation by getting involved in violence - you freaking out about putting his hand in his pocket, well yeah, he could have had a knife or a gun fucking anything, you could have been killed. Obviously the guy was the aggressor, but engaging in violence with a stranger should be an absolute last resort.

I don't know how I'd feel about witnessing someone stomp a guy.
On the logical side, the main thing in your defence is that he might have had a deadly weapon, but the fact that he might have had a deadly weapon is the very reason you shouldn't have engaged him in the first place so it sort of cancels itself out.
And the emotional side of things can't really be predicted, but that's just not something you want to see. I can understand your girlfriend being freaked out at seeing that someone she's supposed to feel safe with is capable of such violence, whatever the cause. In cultures where violence is not really a fact of life, that's pretty much just scary and undesirable, and alien to deal with.

It sounds like she might be being a bit naive in thinking it's a race thing, unaware of how heightened everything is when you're in an altercation. She's probably just unable to understand your response and trying to ascribe some sort of motive to it that she's familiar with.

It's a very grey situation. I wouldn't say either of you are right or wrong, just a matter of working through the feelings, coming down from that intensity, and trying to get back on the same page.

>>17222684

wut? Why do you care about the friend of a friend from another country? Why would we have any clue what this person's motives are? Why would you think it unlikely that someone simply falls in love with a country after living there, after presumably liking the idea of it enough to move there on exchange in the first place?

Both: what's proper eriquette when receiving an engagement ring that's too small? Wear it on your pinky till you get it altered or wait to wear it till it's fitted?

>>17222725
Not a girl, but think about: >>17222737
Your GF has probably never seen you like that, pumped full with adrenaline and your lower instincts taking over. That's exactly what happens in a situation like that. People in that state are terrifying if you're not used to that, and if your lovely and caring partner suddenly turns into something like that it could be shocking.

>>17222746
I would think a normal person would just wait to get it fitted then wear it

>>17222746
I have absolutely no idea but I'd say wait for it to get it fitted and then wear it.

>>17222737
>>17222743
>>17222747
All of that makes an awful lot of sense. I guess I'll let her calm down and try to talk it through with her again. It's just really annoying that I have my life affected even further by the asshole who decided to attack us.

>>17222745
Because you are relocating and leaving everything behind. Like how can you even find a job overseas with zero networks?

>>17222765

If it makes you feel better, she's probably feeling the same way. It sucks all around when shit like this happens. Hopefully you can meet in the middle and figure it out together.

I feel like I'm more into women that are older than me. I don't mean milfs and shit.

Like I'm 24 and I prefer to have a nice date/conversation/fuck with a girl my age or 25-30.
Something inside of me tells me I don't want to fall for the cliche and have a girlfriend of 20 or 22 years. I'm not looking for a fuck but rather an adult relationship and I feel like I can only get it from older/same age ones. Don't want to satisfy someones daddy issues.

Does it matter to girls if their partner/date is younger/older? Do you prefer something? I feel a bit intimidated though I never show it when I'm on a date with an older gal.

>>17222767

People do it all the time.

A guy that you're getting to know lets you know that he's been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Said person is not crazy in any way and is in the recovery process (ie. understands the diagnosis and is working with a psychiatrist). Said person also supports himself and is living a productive life. This person explains to you what it's like to live with schizophrenia, what recovery is like, and that it's possible to live a normal life with the condition. Is this an automatic deal breaker when considering someone as a partner?

>>17222776
I wouldn't say that's a deal breaker. But I can see that it might make things difficult for sure.
As someone suffering from chronic illness myself though I can see what you mean and I think with the right partner you can make it work.

>>17222776
yes. my best friend is schitzo, ive known him for well over a decade, hes also working and supporting himself, taking medication and seeing mental health doctors. but no matter how stable they seem, theyre not. there have been multiple times where he just snaps, and endangers both of our lives. when its all said and done, and hes back to normal he apologizes ect... and ive known him for so long i can kind of see it coming. but either way i would never date someone with that condition. if that sort of thing happens as a friend, i couldnt imagine adding romantic feelings on top of it.

>>17222776
i should also add that hes a "paranoid schizophrenic"

>>17222802
Schizophrenia occurs within a spectrum. Not everyone who has it is a 'paranoid schizophrenic'. As someone who has the condition and who has been exposed to people who suffer from that type of schizophrenia I can understand where you're coming from, but I have to do myself and others justice by adding that recovery is possible. I haven't had any serious symptoms in over 5 years and could see anything out of the ordinary coming from a mile away, not to mention I would be able to work with my doctor if anything started affecting my health. In other words I'm aware of my diagnosis and my symptoms and I'm not going to fly off the handle if something changes. Many people are like me and there are those who aren't. A lot of people have insight into their own condition and can make life work, and many are successful despite it.

I don't mean to jump down your throat, it just deserves to be said.

Guys:
I chubby to borderline fat and yesterday my bf told me that i should eat a bit more. W-what? Did i catch myself a feeder? What is this shit?

>>17222776

I'd probably be a little wary of whether things are being handled responsibly, and whether I myself have it in me to deal with whatever issues that might be involved in that. But it certainly wouldn't be an outright dealbreaker, and being up front and level headed about it would inspire confidence that everything's cool.
And at the end of the day, I think if most people really love the shit out of someone, they'll stick with them through pretty much anything. So past a certain point, it doesn't really matter.
No one's imaginary perfect partner has schizophrenia or amputations or epilepsy etc, but that doesn't mean anyone with a challenge or oddity is fenced off forever, otherwise only like 1% of people would ever get together.

>>17222834

Uh oh.

>>17222840
>uh oh
what??

>>17222834
To add: i lost about 20 pounds since we started dating... Maybe i'm getting too skinny for his taste? In my eyes, i still have 20-30 pounds to lose.

>>17222832
no offense taken. my friend is just the only person ive been exposed to with the condition. his bad moments have ranged from thinking one of his friends were trying to kill him(not me), grabbing the steering wheel while i was driving to try and kill us, "to save us from being abducted by the gov" to thinking that a random police officer was about to draw his weapon and kill us both when we were leaving the pool hall, to trying to fight me in public to get arrested because he would be safer in jail...things like that generally dont happen anymore. but i couldnt chance it with a significant other.

>>17222847

Well that's different. Maybe he's just concerned that you're losing too much too fast, or just isn't used to seeing you eat less than you used to and doesn't like the thought of you going hungry.
If he was a feeder, it would have come up ages ago.

>>17222847
Well how much do you weight? People have different tastes, maybe he's into thick girls.

>>17222847
its your body. if he doesnt like it or what youre doing to it drop him.

>>17222853
Makes sense. I'm not even very actively trying to lose weight, i just had medication that made me gain it and now that i'm off again since half a year, it's starting to go away again.
Ofc i do try to make small changes to my lifestyle, for overall health and because i don't really lile my belly to be that fat.
But you're right. I might have jumped to strange conclusions.

>>17222855
I'm only 5'1, so my weight can't really distribute over my body. Currently, i weight about 130 pounds.

>>17222858
I don't thinl it would go so far as that he "doesn't like it". Maybe he just likes me squishy and jiggly... Ugh

>>17222874
In the end it's your body, but I really don't see why someone who loves you would be against you losing weight or being healthier generally.

Should I still go for it if its faded? I really, really liked him but on the 3rd date, the absolute need/infatuation I felt for him had faded. I still like him but if he stopped hitting me up I wouldn't really care all that much anymore. He didn't do anything to make me stop liking him so I don't know anymore. He wants to see me again

>>17222915
There must have been something that has put you off. Can't you find out what it was? Maybe a topic you discussed and he has a viewpoint you can't wrap you head around?

>>17220432
No, I'm not a faggot.

>>17222674
>she's saying that I overreacted and that I overdid it because he was Muslim.
Dump her. She's a lost cause. I'm 100% serious here. Your girlfriend is taking the side of a man who tried to attack both her and her significant other over you? Just because he's non-white? Drop it like it's fucking hot.

>>17222922
Ok ill admit that smthn small happened to get a former flame and i on good terms again, in between the 2nd and 3rd date(hes 1000miles away so its not gonna happen). Which brought back memories of how it felt to like someone to the degree I did for this former thing. Like I realized I'd drive hours to see the former guy again but I wouldn't feel like getting up early to see this new guy

I guess he also needs a haircut (he said so himself) but honestly that's just a silly thing and its not even that bad. I just didn't feel the flaming infatuation the second he walked in to th e 3rd date??! I Had thought this guy was maybe the oneI'd finally get in a relationship with

>>17221979
Treating the average woman with way more respect then the average man, to the point where it's like you treat them like children.

>>17222965
>Ok ill admit that smthn small happened to get a former flame and i on good terms again
This is precisely the shit that pisses men off. Why didn't you just say that when you first asked the question? Were you afraid you'd be called a slut?

Don't date the guy anymore. You sound like a fucking shit catch, if I'm honest. Drop someone and come running as soon as your ex rings his little bell.

>>17222965
Well, there you have it. That's why you only go on dates with one person at a time. Drop contact with that old flame immediately and completetly. Go for that next date. It doesn't always have to be butterflies and fireworks at the beginning. It has only been 2 dates. Give him a fair chance to sweep you off your feets.

>>17222967
You don't know what chivalry is.

>>17222773
Evidence please
I don't think this is common unless you are from a developing country and ending up in a terrible retail job in a developed country is better than life in a developing country

>>17222975
>>17222976
Ugh we're not in contact and not dating. He just reached out and apologized how it went down I wished him well and that was the end of that. I'm just confused on how much I should like someone to continue things. Because I get crushes a lot but they always fade. I don't want to start something with someone and have it fade to nothing. That's why I haven't dated anyone. I always get drunk on love and sober up. But ok I will give him a chance. I didn't mind spending a few hours with him. That's a start cuz usually I can't stand people for that long

>>17222994
>I don't want to start something with someone and have it fade to nothing. That's why I haven't dated anyone
Sounds like someone's pussying out of life because of how their last relationship ended.

>>17223000
Ughh I mean 'have it fade to nothing' on MY part not theirs. I usually can't even stay liking the same person for very long. But I went on some dates with this guy so maybe its diff cuz I never did that before

>>17223010
I know you meant on your part, numbnuts. You're the "someone" that's pussying out.

>>17222994
I'm a bit biased on what advice to give you. On one side, i think you know and feel it if it will work out. I know i was crazy ober my bf from the first date on. But then again, we knew each other for a while as friends before we went on a date. If you go on a date with a stranger, it might take a while to get to know the important stuff to determine if there is any compatibility and then decide if you can picture a shared future. Which leads to butterflies and fireworks.

>>17223021
I guess so. I got tired and pissed off because it kept dwindling down to nothing in the span of 2 weeks and I couldn't figure out why I just got turned off so fast with all these people. But hey ok I'll jump ship starting now, why not

testing

>>17223031
That's normal. You go on dates to see if you are a match. Often, it turns out you're not. That's the purpose of dates. Nothing to worry about

>>17222990

Dude are you 12 or something? How small is your world that this is anything unusual? Have you never met someone with a different accent to yours?

How do I fix myself when I'm fundamentally broken?

At one point, I lost weight, I went to the gym fo r 3 years and had a job for 2 years. You're supposed to be all proud of yourself and happy but all I could think about was how much I wanted to go back to being a worthelss NEET.

>>17223122

Were you actually more happy when you were NEET, or was it just easier/familiar?

>>17223133
How the fuck should I know? I don't know what "general happiness" is just happiness during specific moments.

>>17223122
Meet people

>>17222776
>diagnosed with schizophrenia. Said person is not crazy in any way
Ok i'm sorry anon, but this is not likely. When people say "crazy", they sometimes mean "mental illness in general", but usually it specifically refers to delusional and psychotic symptoms.
It's certainly possible for you not to have any, if you're only in the prodromal stages and haven't yet had your first delusional or full-psychotic episode, but from my experience most psychiatrists are extremely reluctant to diagnose schizophrenia in the prodromal stages.

>Is this an automatic deal breaker when considering someone as a partner?
Not for me, but I suspect this is because I'm very much "ready" for it, ie I wouldn't be shocked or frightened, and i have a lot of patience.

For most people, i suspect schizophrenia is a deal-breaker because difficulties are encountered often during treatment and those sometimes entail symptoms being temporarily uncontrolled. I know a woman who divorced a schizophrenic doctor for example, she couldn't tolerate it anymore (during such moments, he was sometimes angry or violent, eg choking her).

>>17222832
It may help to describe your condition as a schizophreniform disorder, rather than schizophrenia (ie describe it to the unfamiliar as "like schizophrenia, but not as bad").
Many people find it very hard to understand degrees of severity without explicit terms.

>>17222835
>No one's imaginary perfect partner has schizophrenia or amputations or epilepsy etc
Actually if i was going to try to come up with some kind of "ideal partner" character right now, they'd probably have at least a few things wrong with them.
Our strengths make life easier, but our flaws are what make it interesting.

>>17223176
But no one wanted to meet me even when I stopped being a NEET piece of shit.

>>17223187
>wanted to meet me
Are you retarded?

>>17223187
>worthless NEET
>NEET peice of shit

pretty sure you didnt like being NEET.
go find a girlfriend.

>>17223198
Nevermind I don't think this is helping me.

>>17223308
its obvious you didnt like being neet. just find a hobby group or something man.

>>17220242
Should I tell an ex that I still think about her. We haven't talked in a year until recently when I moved back to the area and we broke up many years ago

I know it's selfish, but still

Hope is a dreadful thing

>>76179125
Girls how do I become more interesting to talk to FUCK

>>17223608
not a femanon. but have more confidence. it also helps if you have interesting things to talk about. like an interesting job, interesting hobbies, ect... confidence is key though.

Is this a red flag? I'm confused. We went on a date last week. Then he asked me if I could help him with an issue. It was about him getting over another girl who was toxic for him and generally feeling down about NC. Ii thought this guy was interested in me, but I don't think you ask about girl issues from another girl if you're interested in them?

>>17223608

First, learn to talk. Talk about anything at all that you're passionate about. It's alright to corner some poor girl and talk to her for 30 minutes about how you're trying to catch a shiny Gyrados. THEN once you've got that down, focus on shit that's actually interesting to other people.

The problem with quiet betas is that they overwhelm themselves with trying to make every conversation perfect, and in turn they won't say anything at all. Start small and work your way up.

>>17223655
>It's alright to corner some poor girl and talk to her for 30 minutes about how you're trying to catch a shiny Gyrados.

No it isn't

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>>17223630

He's probably interested, he's just a retarded drama queen. He doesn't know how to talk unless it's bitching about people or his own problems.

>>17223659
>I don't have a shiny Gyrados
Pleb

>>17223664
Dude he started off with 'have you ever been in love, girlanon?'. I was like 'wtf? Are you going to confess to me after a month of hanging out with me?' Then he segued into 'this other girl boohoo' Fucking lol.

Eh, we'll see. i wanted a manly man with bear arms who doesn't have these stupid problems

>>17223686
>i wanted a manly man with bear arms who doesn't have these stupid problems
Sure you do

>>17223690
No fuck u anon. I need a man who can wrestle sharks. AND I DON'T THINK HE CAN WRESTLE SHARKS. I am heavily evaluating my interest in this man now.

>>17223701
>I have poor self-esteem, and this is reflected in my fat boyfriends.
You're anonymous. You don't have to lie to us.

>>17223712
>le obsessed with looks meme
This place is so darn toxic

>>17223712
IT'S NOT FAT ITS BEAUTIFUL CUUURRRVESSS *sobs*

>>17223724
>Looks don't matter... they just have to be fat.
Your meme game is weak, too.

ITT: Turbo Autism

This thread has maybe 1 or 2 girls and 40 dudes half of which pretending to be girls.

>>17223729
Welcome to /adv/, enjoy your stay.

>>17221609
What the fuck kind of advice is this??
This won't get you anywhere you autist

>>17223574
I think you're oversimplifying what my problem is and what I'm capable of.

girls, i got a haircut, while it looks better at least in my opinion, it makes me look young as fuck (im 22, but look like im 15)
is it a downside for you if i look like a fuccboi?

>>17223778
and with fuccboi i mean that i look like a twink, one time one of my friends used snapchat and put me a wig and i legit looked like an androgynous girl

>>17223778
You might get lucky and get hot milfs hitting on you because they want a 15 year old

>>17223778

I'm a dude, but post a pic faggot. How are people (femanons) going to help if you can't describe yourself well

If a guy enjoys me pushing my tongue and finger into his urethra, can i assume that he would be open to sounding or is that jumping to conclusions?

>>17223608
>how do I become more interesting to talk to
>>17223629
>have more confidence
Great advice lol. I can say from extensive experience that becoming more confident, just like becoming more attractive and better-dressed, will just make this problem 100 times worse, because every interaction will just become
>girl standing there looking at you with huge puppy-dog eyes
>you wondering what in God's name she wants you to say or do

I'm slowly learning how because sometimes, some amazing girls actually tell you directly:
>Ask me a question! Anything, there has to be something you want to know! Just ask me something, anon, please!
>Anon, when you don't make eye contact, it makes me feel bad: i wonder if you don't like me, or if i'm boring you
In which case you just fucking listen and do what they tell you.

Actually I have a question: why don't white american girls do this? Is it because you really do all emotionally torment each other in school like in Mean Girls so you have to hide how things make you feel to avoid showing a potential weakness? Or is it something else?

>>17223792
i don't frequent places where you would meet milfs and the bars i hang out with are filled with college kids or kids out of college, most of the old ladies i know(mom's friends and shit) tell me im a handsome man, but then again they are probably saying it to be nice.
i'm a latino living in south america and two of my friends who went to the states to work for the summer (work and travel program) told me that i would have no problem getting laid whatever that means

>>17223630
He wants to make it work with you, and he knows his feelings about the other girl are getting in the way, so he wants help getting rid of them.

>t I don't think you ask about girl issues from another girl if you're interested in them?
Since you're dating the dude, they're your issues now too (ie they'll likely cause problems between you two unless they're resolved).

>>17223686 >>17223701
>i wanted a manly man with bear arms who doesn't have these stupid problems
>I am heavily evaluating my interest in this man now.
Top kek. Think about that in 10 years and laugh at your dumb ass.
Most guys aren't mature, secure, or communicative enough to discuss their feelings honestly at all, much less ask for your advice or help with them.

>>17223829
>Most guys aren't mature, secure, or communicative enough to discuss their feelings honestly at all, much less ask for your advice or help with them.
idk man I am. but i've been burned pretty hard and have other problems

am i losing my hair?
25 and in good shape.

I noticed for past few years that on ym shower floor is maybe 5 or so strands of hair. If i run my hands through my hair one or two strands might end up in my hands. This includes the root, so its not breaking. My hair line hasn't changed and no bald spots or clumps coming out. My hair is longer on the top and short on the sides.