>>17219212
bump

Replace it with something else, and stop remembering the past so pseudo-fondly.

>>17219212
Could we have some background please?

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847 KB, 960x720

>>17219790
>>17219292
>Meet girl 2 years ago (I know)
>actually man up for the first time in my life, start talking to her
>not sure if she's into me, since no experience and don't know how to flirt
>one day go to party where she is at
>end up making out in the stairwell
>she starts throwing up later
>fast forward a couple days, I ask her to come over to my place to watch a movie
>as she leaves she tip toes up to me and puckers her lips
>panic and still am not sure if she is really into me (i know) and just hug her instead
>she stops hanging out with me
>take it as my cue to fuck off
>start to suspect my friend is talking to her
>school starts and its blatantly obvious she is into him
>cuts me up inside real bad, seriously hating my life
>eventually he makes it clear to her that he isn't interested in her like that
>we both cut contact with her for a couple months
continued

>>17219840
>my friend starts talking to her again, as friends
>I still suspect that she is into him, even to this day
>we eventually reconnect, on good terms, atleast on the outside
>fast forward to now
>we are both in the same intern program, not working for the same company though
>see her pretty frequently, all smiles and good times
>still feel shitty about it all
I think I could've been fine if it was just a girl that I screwed up with, but for my friend to go behind my back and see her like that even though he knew I was into her... shit hurts. And I didn't say anything to him about it for like a year because I felt like I would be a whining loser and it would've been better to just suck it up and move on. I've only ever told 1 person irl about how I really feel about this situation and I truly hate myself for being so fucking pathetic over a single girl. To top it off, I feel more disconnected with someone who genuinely cares about me and has helped me so much (my friend).

Lemmy give you my two cents OP.
I can relate to your frustration, and having come from being a somewhat late bloomer (suffered from oneitis for most of my twenties), to having no problems walking up to beautiful women and engage in flirtation (got a 9,5/10's number last night, after talking to her for five minutes), I know a thing or two about what you're going through.

Here's the thing, and please ignore the negative emotions popping up when you read these words:

You got it backwards. It's all in your head.

You see, what happened that one time, when she wanted to kiss you, and you only went in for a hug - that was you rejecting her.
You didn't lose her, you chose not to keep her. She lost interest because you hadn't built enough attraction for it to be worth fighting for, so she did the most effortless thing, and gave up.

Everything you keep telling yourself about the situation, and getting angry over, is just a story. It's no more real than convincing yourself that any of the things listed in the green field in your OP pic should prevail and hold you back.

You can start living a new story. If you see her frequently, you could just strike up a conversation one day, showing her that you are a pleasant guy, interested in her, and telling her you two should get together some time soon. Go for a few drinks and discover who she's become. Although the difference between 19 and 21 isn't huge, it still matters. Women like to think that they've become adults at that age, and so they let things that've happened the past couple of years define them. There's bound to be stuff there that you don't know about, so treat it as if you're only now getting to know her - and for the love of god, don't let the past and your troubles with her and your friend seep into the conversation. Be future oriented and outcome independant, and there's no reason not to think that you can't get reltionship with this girl. She liked you before, she can like you even more now.