Why try...
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
When people look at me, they think I'm successful. The thing is, thats just a mask I wear in public. I feel emty and I just don't have strength to continue anymore.
All that people see is things I have. I own fully loaded Mercedes-Benz and 7 series bmw, I look really good, always dressed up nicely, my body is ripped, I'm 6feet tall and I have plenty of other perks. Girls are looking at me with interest, guys are always asking me how can I have this all and so on.
But here comes the tricky part. No-one sees that I work 7 days a week up to 12h a day with no holidays. They dont see that the little time I have for myself, i spend trying to keep my body in shape in my home gym cuz I literally dob have time to go to commercial gyms. They dont see the fact, that year ago my love of my life cheated on me and dumped me and now is pregnant. Every night when I go to sleep, i cry for 30min cuz I dont want to wake up anymore. I'm 29 after less than 2 days, living alone in country I wasn't even born in. I'm a foreigner with no friends, no time, no woman and no future. My ex meant the world to me and since she left me year ago, I cant find myself anywhere and I'm giving up on my life.
All my money goes into bills and car maintenance, I have no time for hobbies and I cant take any time off cuz then I wobt be able to pay bills. I cant find a gf cuz girls here hate foreigners and all those perks I have doesnt mean shit to them whenever they hear my accent (untill I talk, they're all into me).
After 2 days I'm turning 29 and I feel that I wont be able to live life like this for another year. I just cant. When you're NEET or just a lazy cunt or have some otger minor problems, you know how to fix them, but my life is pure fucking hell and I mean it. I try my best to keep my chin up, I just put on my cool face and keep on going forward and no-one sees my tears and misery.
How would you live a life like mine? A life like hell.
duuuude try to relevate or something.
>a life like hell
If you're feeling bad you're feeling bad I'm not gonna tell you you're feelings are wrong or stupid, but I think you should look at all the things you do have instead of what you don't. Read a book about mindfullness or budism or something.
I'm going to help you out with some advice on how to live super comfortably. Live below your means. That means instead of trying to get a two bedroom apartment, go for one. Trade in the BMW for a Honda. You're literally dying, physically and mentally, because of luxury items.
Save the money. Relax. Find a girl friend after you take some time off. You need to step down and take a breather. Also, look into getting on anti depressants. There's no shame in taking medicine. Good luck.
>get bleach
>drink bleach
>???
>profit
>>17219090
So why do you own 2 cars.....?
Live in style, but don't live retardedly. Working 7 days a week 12 hours a day is virtually slavery. You need at least a day a week to unwind from the grind man.
Sell your least preferred vehicle and see if you can work only 6 or 5 days a week and still make ends meet. Go out for a walk and just live in the moment for once.
Just try reading the Bible while taking the advice above as well.
Live light = Work less
The car and the house might be nice, but what are they if you can't enjoy it and it's just an additional stress?
I say sell anything non-essential, live light, save up your money and get in a comfortable position, and then seek out employment somewhere else.
>>17219111
My bm's on finance wuth foreign numberplate so I cant sell it. I cant even drive it or police will confiscate it. My benz is the only car I can touch and it has some issues I need to solve. I have one bedroom studio type apartment. I dont buy food, I take it from my job. There are absolutely no spendings aside. Living here is so damn expensive, and living alone is absolutely way out of ordinary. Average wage is 800£ and the same amount goes into rent, taxes, electricity and all the other things that must be paid. I have to work double just to keep up with the life.
I tried and tried and tried to find a gf and I just cant. All the locals are sluts and all the foreign girls are students so this month they're here, next month they could be somewhere else and even rhen none of them wants any commitment and I'm not looking into short ter relationships. I need a wife and kids. I'm not 20 yo anymore and I must (and want) to live a life as family oriented man.
>>17219090
at least you're not a 30yo virgin who never left his basement and never got to experience the good or bad feels that you did
just enjoy your health and security cause very few people have it
and do a good thing for once in your life and send some money my way
>>17219162
All the things I have in my life I earned with blood and sweat. I was unwanted child in my family and my father left us when I was 2 yo. I never had anything in my life, watching how cool kids get all those cool tays while I was playing with self made wooden guns and other things I could make myself. Nothing im my life was given for free and I had so many failures in my life that any other normal guy would give up already. The only thing that kept me going was my gf and we were together for 12 years. She was my first and only love in my life. I had my own health issues but I always ignore them and go through paind and suffering not showing my weaknesses to anyone.
All my life I've shared those little things I have with others who had problems and never got anything in return and I wasnt even asking anything, but a simple 'hi how are you' once in a while would be a nice gesture, not happening tho. I believwd that karma exists, that there is that big guy in the sky who looks after us but there is none. I've done so many things to earn my karma points, but never received anything in my life only pain, misery, being cheated, dumped, walked all over and over again, used for my kindness and the list goes on and on.
All I need is that one person in my life I can relay on, and I would be sorted. Is it too much to ask?
>>17219200
what type of girl are you looking for? try hitting on some 7/10 girls that are smart and nice. and bring down your looks a little/don't talk about what you possess. i dont believe all your locals are sluts maybe you're not looking in the right places. try a church or library or something.
men peak at 35 so you have time. try helping yourself first. cure your depression and dont blame it on being lonely cause you'll seem desperate when aproaching women. and be gratefull for at least having a long relationship, having a house a job etc
and make better friends. some take you for granted but try to test their character before wasting your time with anyone
I never had a father, never had money, education or gf/friends but I learned not to beat myself down. try not being self centered and try not looking for things to fill that "empty hole" cause they won't make you happy
also what country are you from?
>>17219225
I do tend to look at 9/10 and I admit it but I wouldn't mind dating 7/10 and could easily marry one and live my life as I want to. The thing is there are few things rhat turns me off completely and if girl has one of them, I just cant even think about her being next to me. I'll never settle for a fat girl and I mean never ever in my life even if I have to live alone for the rest of my life. I have nothing against fat people, but fat girls just doesnt turn me on and without sexual part, there is no relationship. Another thing is smell. I have really sensitive nose and if girl stinks (especially down there) thats it, boner goes away and I have nightmares for weeks. Any 7/10 girl can easily be turned into 8-9/10 and anyone knows it but there is no middle class girls here in Scotland. Either ugly or really good looking and all of them are complete sluts.
I'm just so outdated when it comes to pulling girls that I cant even put two words together. And I dont have time to go out and work on my social skills. Tried tinder, didnt work out well. I'm giving myself one more year, if I wont get my shit together then I'm done with this. I just cant live like this anymore. I've never been so emotionally low in my whole life.
>>17219275
well I tried to help. no one else seems to lurk here
I'll kill myself too very soon. schizofrenia and poverty has done it for me.
cheerio anon
>hurr im handsome and have a job but my ex GF is a whore durr
Dude just quit your job (im sure you have plenty of money saved up) and spend time looking for another job, cultivate some hobbies and get some time for yourself. In the meantime you can meet some girl and start everything over.
If you can, try and do a sabbatical.
Look this: https://www.ted.com/talks/stefan_sagmeister_the_power_of_time_off?language=en
Get your shit together op, you have a great starting point here.
Hope i helped
>>17219090
>All that people see is things I have. I own fully loaded Mercedes-Benz and 7 series bmw, I look really good, always dressed up nicely, my body is ripped, I'm 6feet tall and I have plenty of other perks. Girls are looking at me with interest, guys are always asking me how can I have this all and so on.
>>17219490
If only I would be joking mate. You all think that being NEET or ugly or whatever is the only way to fucked up life and if you have some decency, then you're sorted and dont nave to do shit to get all you want. I could only wish.
There is one and only one way how to have a decent life- if you're a 9/10 girl, period.
>>17219090
People are mentally fucked after a serious break up. Clearly, you are able to see the facts, but your experience has caused you to see everything a certain way. Instead of- I am single, but at least I have A, B, C covered, no matter what you have, you translate it as a bad thing.
If this started after the break-up, you have not had such periods before, then this is worth to sit through. Also, if the above applies, I'd say don't jump into antidepressants because being severely depressed after a break up is normal and not forever. You should be a tiny bit better every day, but you will only notice that comparing day 1 and day 500. What is annoying is how slow this process is, but at least it is not permanent.
>>17219516
Look mate, if this isn't bait then you are suffering from depression.
Go and get help.
Stop shitting on NEETs, most of them are probably depressed too, and their quality of life is shit compared to what you claim to have.
Get over women and just enjoy your life, you have it better than more than 6 billion other people on this planet. If you can't stand working anymore then sell your cars and quit your job, it's that simple.
>>17219521
>>17219524
Yes, this thing started after breakup. 363 days have passed and I still haven't moved a bit in my life. Just improved my material side but my mental state is wrecked. I had a girl a month ago and then she had to return to her country and she doesn't know if she will come back. But the thing is, while we were going out and having private fun and all these things, those few days were absolute brain relief. No pills or alcohol could beat that feeling when you mean something to someone. And I'm clearly at the age where I sort of need to build up my family and I do want it more than anything.
Getting a gf won't help me materially, but I'm damn sure it will stabilise my mental side.
Too bad that as a foreigner, my chances to find a gf comes close to 0... At one point I thought I could go to uni. I dont need an education but then I could be closer to girls from different countries
>>17219575
Based on my experience, the break-up must be it then. In my case, a simple back-and-forth flirtatious conversation with someone I met once at a part and added on fb was enough to keep me sane. Point is, you don't necessarily need a gf, but you need a crush that responds to you, even if partially you choose to have a crush. Sounds horrible, but you do no harm by this to anyone. If you know someone who smirked at you, is single, even if they are in another country, as long as they are willing to invest their time to talk to you with couple flirts in the messages, this will lift the misery.
I also tried going on tinder dates, without fucking, just meeting and hanging out. Met a lot of shitty people, but made couple friends in the end.
I think it is something about just being reminded you are attractive from someone else, seeing you are desired. I don't think looking for this is bad and it definitely helps.
>>17219162
You say that like it wasn't the decisions you made that brought you there.
>>17219162
btw, "you should feel happy, you're an ass for not being happy" comments help no one. You know you sound like an inconsiderate bastard. The good thing is, those all are practical things you can change!
>>17219626
Totally agree. Rebounding makes you feel better and thats what I would love to do and who knows, maybe this way I'll meet a girl of my dreams and my future wife. I just need to find a way how to approach any of them. Breakup fucked me completely and my confidence dropped to zero, and all this foreigner thing around here doesn't make my life any better.
Tinder failed me completwly and there is nothing I could get out of it anymore.
I could try to go to libraries or other places and spend an hour every day to learn something and maybe find a girl there.
>>17219762
Since I'm complete social imbecile (I'm not ugly, dumb or gross, just awkward), I go for the dating sites. Though okcupid gave me more friends than romantic partners, which I can't complain about, it was still nice to have people be interested in you and receive messages. Plus, it won't interfere with your work much, which I enjoyed. And if you are good looking, getting messages is pretty easy.
>>17219804
I remember the time when I went on holiday to my country 5 months ago. Got 46 matches on tinder in 5 days and I wasnt even using it that much, just swiped few times a day. I do look ok, but I'm sort of too mature for them. They just lose any interest talking about things I do like. I tried to go all out with banters, got really good results, but when I switched the conversation to something more important to me, they usually start to ignore me. Girls are just boosting their egos, they dont want anything else out of those dating apps.
Going to clubs is not an option. No one will fall for that lonely guy standing in the corner with no friends.
That leaves me with libraries (access needed to university library cuz the only public one we have is overrun by junkies) or coffee shops
get over your ego
you don't need the expensive cars
look into self development and meditation
>>17219090
I don't know man that sucks from 1 immigrant to another I feel you where are you btw Canada? USA? where
>>17219826
I'm honestly not working for okcupid, but it worked for me, and it is different from tinder. Once you have finished your profile, answered x amount of question (I think it was 100) you can search for people you match most by location or around world- that is exciting but I don't think I really made friends with any of those. I more enjoyed messaging people I noticed on first page, people that had just updated their profiles. So then I would message them about the thing they just updated if it grabbed my attention. Sometimes if I wanted to talk about pokemon, I searched for people that mention pokemon in their profiles and would message them. Sometimes I searched for my biggest enemy and loled about differences. Of course there's a bunch of people just to get laid just like tinder, but at least you can easily see which ones are those by their profiles.
>>17219837
I'm in Scotland. And in the worst city there is. People here literally hate anyone with accent and they dont give a fuck that you pay bills supporting their junkie lifestile, you obey all their laws and fuck hell, I'm not even speaking my native language anywhere just to stay out of trouble.
>>17219875
Damn, I really wanted to visit Scotland. But if you ever turn up in Latvia for some ridiculous reason, I hope I stumble upon you and we can share a beer. I know what it's like to live abroad and, well, it can suck so bad.
>>17219884
Prieks ka tu saproti kaa tas ir, gan jau kaadreiz atgriezisos LV, vosmaz atvaljinaajumaa toch
>>17219925
Nopietni? Tagad es jūtos vēl sūdīgāk par tavu situāciju. Es zinu, ka Skotijā nav tāds procents latviešu kā Īrijā, bet no pieredzes zināms, ka daudzi dodas tur studēt, gan jau citi arī strādāt etc. Pat, ja neesi baigais nacionālists, varbūt pamēģini prievītes aproci vai karodziņa piespraudīti valkāt, vnk lai sociāli aktīvāki garāmejoši latvieši varētu tevi atpazīt un socializēties ar tevi
>>17219090
This sounds more like a lifestyle choice than something you're trapped in to desu.
>>17219925
+angļu valoda tev ir normālā līmenī, ja nu tu uzskati to par iemeslu, lai nerunātu ar vietējiem. Cik zinu, par latviešiem nav tik sūdīgs iespaids, lai no tevis kāds izvairītos. Lai nu kā, veiksmes, anon
>>17219976
ja gribi mani pasKatiities feisiitii, kAa izskatoS, tad Panjem no siii teksta visu lielos burtus un sAliec kopaa, sanaaks mans vaaRds un uzvaards. iemet feisii un uzreiz atradiSi mani jo nav daudz cilveku ar taadu vardu un uzvaardu. KaUt kaa taa.
es iZvairos No savas tautiibas cilvEekiem seit. negribu pat zinaat nevienu. Ievazaajushi seit problemas tikai un taadi kaa es peec tam Ciesh no visa taa. anglene man ir ljOti laba, daudz labaaka kaa 99,9% iebraucejiem. man daba laiks suudiigs, nekaadi neizrauties no rutiinas.
visaadi man te gaajiS, bet tagad toch viss jau liidz kaklam.
>>17220009
Man šķiet tu izlaidi V. Bet, ja esi no Iecavas, tad laikam atradu.
Par to būšanu līdz kaklam, tas ir skaidrs. Bet, kā jau minēju augstāk, tā kā šis izskatās pēc klasiska break-up beša, kas nav tik ātri pārejoša lieta, ar laiku tu atgūsi spēju izbaudīt lietas, kas ir apkārt, cilveki tev šķitīs panesamāki utt. . Vienkārši got to drudge through the drudgery, kas ir šis starpposms.
>>17220079
Jaa, tas pats no iecavas. Kaa redzi viss man ir, tik vot kaut kaa tas viss ir izbesijis. Gruuti kad tu ziedo cilveekam pusi savas dziives un paliec ar neko. Tagad viss no saakuma jaasaak, tik nu nereaali to izdariit aarvaldtiis. Atgriezties rikai delj sievietrs? Ar nelogiski
>>17220126
Nu jā, tajā nav loģikas. Reāli nav jēgas uz to iespringt + ja es izstalkoju pareizi, un tavas bijušās iniciāļi ir KZ, tad tu jau esi augstākā līgā par viņu, vismaz pēc vizuālā. Bet tas ir tikai mans viedoklis.
Un vēl pastalkojot tu man atgādināji man pazīstamu meiteni, 20 gadi laikam, komerciālā modele (e.g. nav 1.80m bet normāla garuma un seja norm), moderno deju dejotāja. Cik zinu, viņa ir brīva. Respektīvi, vienkārši lai tev ir kaut kāda sakarīga meitene ar ko pačatot līdz tu satiec kko normālu irl.
>>17220167
es pasaku viņai- oh, čoms pamanīja tevi manā draugu sarakstā, gribēja zināt, vai esi brīva. Tad es aizlieku 3 labus vārdus un pārējais ir uz tavas atbildības.
>>17220176
Nu doma laba, varam pameginaat. Tikko no darba atbraucu, gruti bija atbildeet.
Jaa, vinja mana bijusii. Nav runa par izskatu, man izskats maz interesee un kad saakaam, vinja bija stabila 9/10 ja ne veel augstaak, vnk ar gadiem izmainijaas. Runa ir par ieksejo pasauli. Es ar vinju pat peec 12 gadiem vareeju stundaam seedeet un runaat un mums nekad nebeidzaas teemas. Kad divi cilveeki ir uz viena vilnja, tad visa pareejaa pasaule var pagaidiit jo vinjiem kopaa ir labi un mums taa bija. Otras taadas vairs toch nebuus, bet nu ko dariit.
Taa kaa droshi vari mani iemest savaa draugu lokaa vai savas draudzenes draugu loka un paskatiisimies ko es varu panaakt. Man galvenais lai ir par ko runaat, nevis ka es runaaju a pretiim naak atbildes, kuras sastaav no viena vaarda, tipa 'jaa' vai 'nee'.
>>17220206
Ok, pievienots. Es ar Laumu parunāšu pirmdien, tad būs lielāka skaidrīte. Ja es gadījumā kaut ko sajaucu, viņai ir bf or etc, tad man ir citas idejas.
Es tev fb arī aiizsūtīšu linku uz viņas profilu lai apmēram vari pačekot. +mani iniciāļi LN
>>17220223
Ok, ta jau maniis kaa buus. Ja tev vinja liekas laba sarunu biedrene, tad jau domaaju ka man ar buus ok. Kaa nekaa mees visi 4chan lietotaaji esam vienaadi praataa, izskats tik dazaads. Neviens nekad peec mana izskata nekad nevar pateikt ka es klausos metaalu, rakaajos pa sejieni, dievinu melno humoru un esmu (biju) nenormaalais geimeris. Kaa saka, nekad nespried par graamatu peec taas vaaka.
