What does legitimate "depression" feel like? Is it really a "disorder" or is that something companies use to try and get you hooked on drugs. Is it something I need to just beat by will? How do I know if I have a real problem?
Sometimes I wake up and I feel like I smoked some kind of "sad drug" or am on some kind of high of self loathing and pessimism. I don't do drugs often, in fact I haven't bother with weed for years, but this is what I feel is an accurate comparison. It's as if I am reverse high, I'm not sad for any particular reason, I go from wanting to be productive to a sack of shit. I don't get it, it just seems to happen.
I wake up, I look at my sexy-ass self in the mirror, I'm feeling good, I'm making today a good day! On my run I think about all the productive stuff I'm going to do today. Then sometimes, I don't start a single one of those things I'll retreat and waste time, or even literally just lie on the floor waiting for this to pass. I feel like it feels when you are drunk and really don't want to be, like there's something that's been introduced into my system that is being metabolized.
Today I just found myself not wanting to be at home, I drove to Target and found myself wandering the aisle for no reason, listing reasons not to kill myself.
Is depression just a meme? It seems like people try to sell it as some unscientific affliction. Is this just how I am?
>>17217080
You sound more bipolar than just plain depressed. See a professional.
You're one seriously messed up person OP. Seek help
>>17217113
>>17217133
What would they even do?
>>17217080
The best way I've heard it described is basically feeling like you're in a really think fog. So think you can't see your hand in front of your face. Everything you love is around you in this fog, friends, family, hobbies, ect. You know it's all there right on front of you but no matter how hard you try, you can't see them. Shit sucks.
Although I haven't been diagnosed(like what fucking good will that even do?) I've experienced this same feeling since about 9 years ago. Honestly man, you just gotta learn to cope.
>>17217147
thick****
>>17217147
Sometimes I can work through it. Yea, it's like a fog. I just deal when I'm at work or whatever, it's like I can throw out the work persona and ride in the back seat, but once I'm not being directed, it's just utter shit mode until it passes.
My experience with depression was that basically everything I did was tainted somewhat by unease and or misery. Even when I was happy, it felt fake and artificial.
It was still possible to function (work, relationships, interacting with the world), but most of the time I felt like the happy side I showed was just a mask, while the sad inside felt like the natural me.
Now I was an extreme case (I fell into depression before I hit puberty, and most of my prepubescent years are an incoherent blur, so I didn't know what it meant to not be depressed.)
But I can tell you, once I recovered it felt like night vs day. I was genuinely happy for the first time I could clearly remember, and it was a shock to the system when I realised how bad it had been.
I hope my story helps you figure yourself out a bit.
>>17217244
It's genuinely great to hear that you got through that. I'm happy for you, anon.
Currently going through exactly what you've mentioned for the last 5 years and am lost. What medication/therapy worked for you?
>>17217244
>>17217265
>>17217080
I feel like OP. I'm curious about how you got better too.
