Hey! If you suspect someone is testing you by not messaging you or replying, what's the correct response? Do you message them and fall into the trap to keep them sweet, or do you just say fuck that game and wait for them to inevitably come to you?
Model is Leah Dizon in case you were wondering
>>17215426
I wouldn't really give a shit about someone if I suspected they were the type to play games like that.
if someone is not messaging you stop messaging them
i'm playing this game with an ex right now, basically if you want to maintain a position of power it's imperative to be patient and wait for them to break the silence
>>17215426
Did it occur to you that maybe said person just doesn't want to talk to you?
>>17215449
Why bother playing these stupid games? Stop acting like a fucking child.
Actually OP can you give us some more details on this person and your relationship with them? The more we know about the situation the more pertinent advice we can give
>>17215426
I was texting a girl who gave me there # on a dating site. We talked everyday for about a week. She asked when I was free. I responded to her several hours later. This was 4 days ago and I haven't heard back from her. I'm chalking it up to a lost cause.
I'm not even going to bother initiating a text. She's disrespectful or immature.
Nobody is that busy.
>>17215460
Look, you have no idea what's going on with her. Don't assume bro. Been there done that, regretted it.
Just keep it simple, send her a message and say what's up?
>>17215458
They consider me one of their best friends, and it's the kind of thing where we are in constant communication with eachother. I think if we haven't messaged for like 4 hours or something they will usually send something (music/selfie or whatever, just an excuse to maintain contact I guess).
They sent a selfie this morning and I was kinda not in the mood to chat so I just replied with one of those fb stickers lol. I'm wondering if they got annoyed at me for doing that and this is my punishment.
It would't be the first time something like this has happened. They pretended to be annoyed with me over a joke the other day and didn't read my messages until I texted sorry, to which they said haha just kidding, so that puts me in mind that they are the type to play games.
Could just be over anlaysing and they are busy, but even when they've been with their partner before they've always been messaging me.
>>17215508
>>17215426
Don't let your imagination control you. You don't have to apologize if you believe you did nothing wrong.
Let it cool off and don't think too much about it, just text your friend if you have something to say like a joke or something, if they're mad or not it won't matter.
>>17215426
Don't look for a pathetic reason to message them first.
In situations like that I search for the next hole to fill.
>>17215426
The same way Putin does I guess.
I mean he goes when ever the fuck he wants.
This is why i purposefully refuse to learn certain social skills.
I don't want to play any of your goddamn games.
If you don't respond, i will read absolutely nothing into it. Just continue my life until you respond or until i have something else to say.
>>17215426
I just forget about it. If they come back, I give it a second shot. If they do it repeatedly, then I just ask them something around why they bother texting me if they take half-days/days to reply back to each text message.
I don't know, I got a bit anxious and wouldn't talk to one of my friends for a while then he just stopped talking to me. And now I just blocked him.
Fuck anxiety. IT RUINS EVERYTHING AND MY THERAPIST ISN'T DOING JACK TO HELP ME.
>>17215426
>Hey! If you suspect someone is testing you by not messaging you or replying, what's the correct response? Do you message them and fall into the trap to keep them sweet, or do you just say fuck that game and wait for them to inevitably come to you?
I would completely ignore what the other party wants to "play me" into doing and do what I would've done either way.
how fucking insufferable must you be for someone to not messaging you makes you immediately jump to the conclusion that they must be 'testing' you?
>>17216245
you know thing about therapy is you actually have to participate in it for it to work right? you don't just have someone talk to you for 45 minutes and then go home and change nothing about yourself.
>>17216245
People like you man. I've had like 5 friends like that. It hurt. Each time.
People like you are a large part of why I don't even try to make friends anymore.
Thanks. I've seen them posting stuf* in fb now so it's not like they have been too busy and forgot to check messages. Guess I'll wait. They will come to me before I go to them, and if not then no big loss.
Maybe they can't think of anything to say? Or maybe they don't realize that not replying is causing you anxiety?
>>17216314
yeah DUH, the thing is she hasn't even given me any tips to deal with shit, she doesn't understand my language. they tell me "oh it's your mother's voice talking tell it to shut up!" fucking jesus i could get that advice from this shit hole
go fuck yourself by the way
>>17216316
oh gee, i'm so sorry for your feelings, or i would be, if i didn't know that you're a judgmental cunt like the rest of them, only concerned with your own feelings like the rest of us
you can go fuck yourself too, you flaming asshole
>>17217295
yeah this, if nobody says anything then just let it die
if someone's anxiety is too much for you to put up with, then move the fuck on to someone else, nobody's asking you to act like a bellyaching cling-on just get the fuck lost
>>17216316
i hope it hurt. it's not fair that you don't have to overcome your anxiety and tell them what's bugging you while expecting US to overcome ours
>>17216316
and ftr i blocked him because i know he doesn't have anxiety and was clearly shit-testing or dread gaming or whatever you call it
he knows i have anxiety, so he gets a block forever
>>17215426
I had a date with a girl last weekend that went meh. I did not tested her yesterday. She did it today.
Manipulative women.
I've been playing this game for 4 months now, oh boy sure is fun h-hahaha, she'll probably message me tomorrow telling me how much she loves me
>>17215426
I hate sending people messages, i feel like it is annoying to keep up with who you message and how frequently. If i feel like hanging out with someone then i just message them, if it's been too long then i apologize.
Sometimes people like to believe that this "game" you talk about is played on purpose, although maybe you are just not important enough.
OK so they messaged me in the end, at 3am. No apology or anything but I did get an "I've missed you" and "we don't talk much nowadays" so idk. Being missed is kind of nice I think.
One of the things seems to be that if they are doing something (like with friends) they will not bother messaging at all, like completely forget fb and stuff (which I respect, there's nothing worse than being with a friend and they are fucking about on their phone the whole time). Might tell them that if they want to keep in touch it's ok to send odd random messages and that I'm not expecting any deep conversation. Maybe that's why they don't message.
>>17218702
>My therapist ISNT DOING
I can see you put the blame on others, just say that to her "im thinking youre not giving me some tips to deal with anxiety". You will see that therapy is not a "give me, give me, give me" type of relationship.
>>17216314
This anon gets it
Anxiety is getting pretty bad now. Thinking about it, the last few days we've only really had short chats, like we'll chat for a bit and they'll say they are tired and then stop responding as if they fell asleep (might be legit as they did post on FB that they only had 3hrs sleep before I messaged), or today they said they had 4% battery, said chat soon and didn't bother reading my message saying goodbye. Quite probably over analysing it but I don't know. On the flip side it was them who bought up that we aren't chatting much these days and that they missed me. I get that people get busy but it only takes a few seconds to send a message.
At one time they couldn't go more than like 4 hours without contacting me but over the last couple of days they've made very little effort
I think my anxiety is causing me to massively over analyse things, but I kinda just want other peoples input too.
Try being a healthy human being by trying to talk about it.
>Hey man hit me up some time you piece if shit
>Ok what up
>Nothing you're never writing
>Oh man “insert a reason“
>“insert response depending on the reason“
Congrats you just acted like a healthy adult and depending on what is going on if he gives you a bullshit reason or nah you either got closer with a friend or cut off someone not worth your effort
